Happy New Year!

I can't believe that 2009 is coming to an end. What a busy year it has been. As I reflect back on the year, I am again reminded how truly blessed we are. 2009 will be a year I will never forget and I am looking forward to 2010.

While there won't be any referrals or new children added to our family this next year, we are looking forward to celebrating many firsts with Kiya. Here are just a few things we are looking forward to in the new year.

1--Kiya walking. Okay I am really ready for her to walk, she is almost ready and our poor dogs and house have some catching up to do. I am excited and terrified by her walking on her own.

2--The toddler room. Kiya starts her transition to her new room at daycare on Monday. Everyone is excited for this. I can't wait to see what she learns and how she grows.

3--Her first trip to the zoo. We got a wagon for Christmas and can't wait to take Kiya to the zoo. We have a free zoo close by and last summer it would have been too much and she was so young. Not this next year though :) I LOVE zoos.

4--The purchase of a potty seat. I can't believe I actually wrote that but you see by the end of 2010, Kiya will be 2. Time to at least have the seat in the house even if we don't touch it for awhile. At daycare they will start taking her to the bathroom as well to wash hands and just sit on the potty to get used to the idea.

5--San Antonio. I HATE winter and Kiya needs to see her Auntie Sarah. We are off to San Antonio for a few days in February and it better be nice there.

6--Babyproofing. Admittedly we are a little behind in this area but since Kiya hasn't started walking yet and her scooting/rolling is fairly contained we weren't worried. Well, the times they are a changing. She is starting to cruise on furniture and go from one stationary object to another. Outlets are covered of course but baby gates, cabinet locks, etc are in our very near future.

7--Swim lessons. We can't wait to sign Kiya up. She LOVES water so far anyway. At the very least it will hopefully be some good mommy/daughter time.

8--Turning the car seat forward. It may not seem like a big deal but it is just yet another sign of how big Kiya is getting. She is technically old enough and heavy enough for us to turn her seat around now. We are holding out for as long as we can. It she keeps growing inches with each doctor's visit we won't make it much longer as she is already kicking the back of the seat. Plus, I think she is going to love sitting forward and looking at something besides the back of the seat.

9--The little things. Kiya is such a joy and just so sweet. I am looking forward to the sweet little things that will occur. The hugs, the snuggles, the kisses. We have those now and I look forward to many more in the coming the year.

10--1 year closer. Hopefully, fingers crossed, we will be one year closer to Kiya's little brother. International adoption is a scary world and I am nervous but remaining hopeful for the moment that our dreams of her little brother will come true and that 2010 will bring us that much closer.

Happy New Year everyone. I know for some of you 2009 was a FABULOUS year and for others it wasn't. If it was fabulous may 2010 be even more so. If it was not so great may 2010 be your year. The year that rocks your world. May all of you who read this find peace, love and happiness in the upcoming year.

13 Things I love about my daughter

Why 13...well Kiya is 13 months old today ;) In no particular order:

1. Just how sweet she is. How she will reach out and rub her head on you and snuggle.

2. How much she LOVES bath time.

3. The sweet way she feeds Badger from the high chair--we are discouraging this with both of them but I must admit it is kind of cute.

4. How she reaches out to hug Sebastian

5. When she says Mama

6. When she says ''dawdie" for doggie and points at the dogs

7. Just how much she loves pancakes

8. Her serious side

9. How much she loves to dance and to any type of music and when there isn't any how she makes her own

10. The cute way she rolls around and scoots on the floor

11. How excited she gets when she sees Mommy and Daddy after being away from us

12. Her independent side; how she does things her way and how she wants to and not how a book says she is supposed to. Take her new ride on toy. It is supposed to be a walker first and then a sit and ride toy. Well she is preferring to sit and ride versus walk. She can actually propel herself forward and backward.

13. Just how much she LOVES "The Belly Button Book". I mean really loves it. She points at the hippos in it and smiles and giggles when we read it, just about every day :)

I am one lucky Mommy that's for sure.

This time last year

We are rapidly approaching a very special and memorable day for our family so I went back and looked at what I was blogging about last year at this time.

I was a nut case. Certifiable indeed. I had a first class ticket to Crazytown ;). I had totally lost it and become completely consumed by my number on the unofficial list which at this date last year was 8 but number 4 for an infant. I had my cell phone practically glued to me and I cried at the drop of a hat. Yup, totally nuts.

I look back at that and wonder how in the world I will explain it to Kiya. I am not sure I will be able to. My perspective has changed so much since then and yet the anticipation of the phone ringing was all very real. It was this weird paradox of happy and sad. Happy as I was about to realize my dreams and see the face of my child for the first time and sad as I knew someone I hadn't met yet was making the hardest decision of their of life.

There were so many unknowns at this point last year. We were preparing kind of for a child but it still didn't seem real. Christmas time last year I finally let myself splurge a little and buy some baby clothes and a couple toys. Nothing overly special just something more for me to feel like I was about to have a baby.

I was in this surreal place and had recently come to peace with the wait. It took me a long time to come to peace. 9 months plus if I recall correctly. It was tough. Tougher than I thought it would be and at times I didn't handle it well. Simply put I was selfish and didn't always think about what was going on on the other side of the world.

This time last year Kiya was in the care center in Addis Ababa and we didn't even know it, yet. Weird to think about. Weird to now know she even had medical tests done on what we call Christmas. My baby girl was being loved on and waiting to meet her new family. We didn't know who she was but we did know we were ready for her. We were waiting for her to be ready for us. We had a little more waiting to do before she would be known to us.

At this time last year I had no idea that in 9 days my whole world was going to be turned upside down. Instead I stayed glued to my cell phone and prayed and waited and cried and waited and cried so more.

Cinnamon rolls, Santa, and our family of 3

As I write this, we are having a lazy day as a family of 3. Weather did not permit us to see my parents today but hopefully soon. We started with cinnamon rolls and a visit from Santa and just enjoying our little family. I am listening to my gift from Santa right now--the Glee soundtracks :) See pictures below for Kiya enjoying her gift from Santa.

Spaghetti sauce is on the stove and cookies may even be baked from scratch today as we start our own family traditions. Wow--it has been a long time coming and while I am bummed the weather has prevented us from travelling, I take one look at this little girl and it all becomes okay.

We went to church on Christmas Eve. Wow, first time at the children's Mass and I think we had to have been over capacity by a hundreds of people. We were told it would be packed but I never imagined it would be that busy. Kiya did great minus the one rather loud, tired scream. Good thing we were sitting near a bunch of little ones her age and everyone understood. I was proud of myself for making it through Mass without crying. I got really close once or twice but I held off. I just couldn't believe this was all really happening. We were at Christmas Mass with our daughter.

After church we headed to the in-laws for dinner and presents. Kiya loves Egg noodles :) And here she is opening her very first Christmas present. We figured she loves the dogs so let's get her a stuffed pug. It was great night spent with family.
Christmas morning we woke up and Kiya got to open her gift from Santa.


She really liked the wrapping paper :)

And better yet, she LOVES her new toy.


So as we have a relaxing day ahead, we just think back to just how amazing this year has been. Last year we were anxiously wondering if our phone would ever ring to bring us the news of our long awaited child. Now here we are a year later living our dreams. And while I could do without the icky weather, I am here with my family and that is all I could ever ask for. Kiya is the greatest gift. Sure I am enjoying my new CD's but nothing will ever top having Kiya as a daughter and maybe if we are lucky 2012 will be just as magical as 2009 has been for us.

Merry Christmas to my family, friends (both online and in person). May you be blessed to be spending your holiday in the company of the ones that you love. I know I am.

Kiya went to see Santa :)

I know I have been MIA for awhile... I was sick, Kiya was sick, Dave was sick, Badger was sick...not fun times but we all seem to be on the mend.

Since everyone was feeling better we took Kiya to see Santa at the mall. I fully anticipated that it would go horribly wrong. With her stranger anxiety and separation anxiety I just thought we would have tears and screams. Well, once again my daughter amazes me. Isn't she just adorable?? :)

No tears, no screams, a little thumb sucking and then this sweet face. :) What a big girl.

In other news, Kiya is cutting at least 2 more teeth. She is getting her top middle teeth which will bring her grand total of teeth to 4. We suspect she is also working on her 1 year old molars given the drool, the chewing, the refusal to eat, etc.

Well back to wrapping Christmas gifts and mailing Christmas cards, I will try and post again soon but if not Merry Christmas!

Wordless Wednesday

7 months home and a doctor visit

We have been home 7 months today with our princess. Wow. So what did we do to celebrate....I took Kiya to her 12 month check up :)

The numbers:

Weight: just under 21 lbs (42nd percentile)
Height: 29 1/4 inches (48th percentile)
Head circumference: 44.5 cm (29th percentile)

So as a reference, Kiya was in the less than 3rd percentile in weight and head circumference and between the 5th and 10th percentile for height.

Development:

Food: The nurse was shocked when I told her Kiya took herself off of bottles and is solely on sippy cups of whole milk. She said we were lucky. I just think we have a big girl who knows what she wants :) She did say Kiya should be drinking 16oz of milk a day. We are a tad shy of this but she said yogurt counts so we should be fine. She encouraged us to let Kiya try and feed herself finger foods. I told her Kiya has been doing that for awhile. We have good and bad days. Some days Kiya wants to feed herself and other days she doesn't. Introducing the spoon is next...beware pugs, floors, blinds and anything else near her while eating.

Sleep: The nurse asked us how Kiya is sleeping at night and for naps. I told her that unless she is sick or teething, Kiya will sleep 11-12 hours through the night. As for naps, we are in transition to one nap so some days she will take 2 shorter naps totaling near 3 hours or one long nap of 2-2 1/2 hours. She then asked us if Kiya falls asleep by herself or if we rock her to sleep. She has always fallen asleep by herself. At this point the nurse was looking at me like I was nuts. She said it was too good to be true.

Speech: Kiya was quite vocal while we were there. In July, Birth to 3 said that she was delayed about 36% in her speech. Well, the doctor now thinks that Kiya is ahead of the curve. She says mama, dada, daw (dog), hi, na (no) along with a whole bunch of other sounds like nana, lala, baba, ssss, zzz, ga. She also will point at what she wants and grunt a little to let us know she wants it. Usually it is her sippy cup she wants and can't reach other times it is Mama's dinner :)

Motor skills: The doctor said they usually expect most 1 year olds to pull them self up to a stand and Kiya only does this with our fingers. She doesn't really cruise on furniture but she did yesterday take one sideways step while holding on to the coffee table. She has been trying to walk a lot more so it is only a matter of time. The doctor also said that since at 5 months she couldn't really stand up on our laps and had little muscle tone that it may take her a little longer for her to fully walk on her own. She asked about crawling, rolling, etc. So we told her about Kiya's butt scooting, rolling antics and she said that is all great. She asked if she is continuing to show increased strength and desire to move and do things and I said yes. She said that is all that matters.

Overall, the doctor felt Kiya was growing and developing well. While there Kiya got her MMR, chicken pox, pneumonia booster, and H1N1 shot. She is also having a TB skin test done.

In other news, Kiya will transition to her new room at daycare the last week of December. Why not sooner....well a spot opened up in the room we wanted so we took it. It meant delaying the transition to her big girl room but we get the teacher we know and love. And more importantly it is the teacher that Kiya grew to love and trust.

And she says Mama

I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT!!! KIYA FINALLY SAID "MAMA"!!! CAN YOU TELL I AM EXCITED?

Ok, got that off my chest. But really she said "mama" 3 times in the bath tub last night. It has always been "dada or baba or lala or recently nana but never mama" Until last night and I couldn't have been more thrilled :)

Now whether or not she knows that I am actually Mama remains to be seen. If we say Mama she sometimes will look at me but that could just be coincidence.

My bet is because I want to hear her sweet voice say Mama again she won't for awhile but that is okay. I know she can say it and that warms my heart.

Now if I could just get her to stop hitting me that would be wonderful. Not sure why she hits only me but usually I bare the brunt of her slapping. She doesn't hit me if I am holding her but if someone else is. Last night, we told her "no" firmly and of course she cried but we don't want her to hit. She usually will hit and then grin as she thinks it is funny.

We got the same result the other morning when we told her "no" as she was kicking Sebastian. He didn't seem to mind and has been a trooper with the whole baby thing but the kicking went too far. She of course cried again. And it is the most pathetic cry I have every seen. There is a slow build up and then big crocodile tears. It is kind of funny really but we don't dare laugh since at least she is understanding the word no and responding to it..

I know it is an age thing and I know we need to be consistent and set limits. So we are. Together we have agreed to tell her no when she hits and kicks. Like it or not she will have to learn that that is not okay and that mommy and daddy don't find it funny. I hate to see her upset but it is part of the learning process.

What's new with Kiya?

I know it has been awhile since I have blogged about how Kiya is doing. So here is the update on my 1 year old drama queen :)

--She is fully on whole milk. We are using the rest of the formula in her oatmeal banana cereal that she loves just to finish it up.

--Kiya took herself off of bottles. It was like she woke up one day and said to herself that "I am one now and a big girl so I don't need a bottle." Prior to this we had cut her down to two bottles a day but she was done with bottles all together. We just put her milk in a sippy cup and she drinks what she wants. In the morning, Dave puts her in the high chair with her sippy and some finger foods before she heads off to daycare. At night we sit down for story time with her sippy. She doesn't drink a ton of milk but she drinks more and more each day. She didn't love formula either. And she eats yogurt everyday, drinks milk with her meals and has started to eat cottage cheese too.

--Kiya has become a master of scooting on smooth non carpeted floors. She got herself into a corner at daycare and couldn't figure out how to go backwards. On carpet she can turn herself around in a circle or she just rolls wherever she needs to go. She loves to roll around.

--Kiya LOVES her bath time. Seriously, it is so funny we taped it last night. She splashes A LOT. I mean water all over the bathroom floor a lot. She giggles and even full on belly laughs. She puts toys on her head and she scoots all over the tub. It gets a little scary sometimes as she just goes and almost falls. This summer we are getting her a kiddie pool and some swim lessons.

--Kiya still loves to stand. Problem is she hasn't fully figured out how to pull herself up yet so she fusses when she can't get it. She is trying which is a good sign. She will get there. We just support her. Today in fact she took one step for her activity standing walker over to the coffee table.

--And the drama continues, Kiya has some pretty strong opinions in her little head and oh does she let us know when she isn't happy.

--Kiya loves to imitate sounds. She is getting really close to being able to say "doggie". She still doesn't say mama. She looks at me when we say it but won't repeat it.

--We haven't been teaching Kiya sign language but they use it at daycare. She definitely knows the sign for all done and doesn't hesitate to tell us when she is finished eating. It is really cute.

So there you have the run down of life with a busy 1 year old.

Wordless Wednesday is being interrupted again

I know I know, I talk to much but in my defense the title of this blog is Chatty Cathy and there will be pictures in this post.

One year ago today, Zinash came to the Mussie orphanage in Hossana, Ethiopia and handed Kiya to a nanny. A mere 10 days after her birth. We have that moment captured on video. It is extremely difficult to watch that. To see the tears in her eyes. I feel for her. I in some ways am grateful to have this moment to show Kiya just how much her mother loved her but at the same time I hate that a camera was in Zinash's face.

I walked this same path and went to this building. See the picture below. This is where Kiya spent her first couple of weeks in care. My heart is again heavy today. My thoughts are with Zinash and I wish I could give her a hug. I may be able to send her a letter and she may actually get it but more on that later.

While in Hossana, we were also able to meet Kiya's first nanny. She was so sweet and so excited to tell us all about Yewibdar. She told us she was always so content and sweet and such a good baby. I wish there was some way we could send her an update as well. We were able to show her some more recent pictures while we were there but I wish we could send her some more.

So about the letter, our agency has post adoption services that we can and likely will register for. For a small fee, we can send a letter to Zinash and it will be translated in to Kembatissa, her native language. We have heard that the letters are merely dropped off at a local office for parents and we have heard that they are actually hand delivered. We of course are hoping for the latter.

Also as part of post adoption services, when we travel to Ethiopia again and again for a fee, our agency will try and set up another meeting with Zinash. We could actually be able to hug her again and share recent photos of Kiya. I am trying to keep things in perspective that policies change and our agency won't provide this anymore, that Zinash wouldn't want to see us again or they can't find her. If our agency stops providing this service, we will try and find her on our own and will of course respect if she chooses not to see us but I feel like we owe it to Kiya to try and try hard to see her again.

Now what we would say to Zinash in a letter or in person is a tough but I know when the time comes we will find the words. We have to, for Kiya.

Picture Day!

So I decided it would be a great idea to take Kiya into JCPenny's for her 1 year old pictures. I was so excited! I made the appointment and then went shopping for a new outfit or two... You see I made the mistake of going into Gymboree and well I just couldn't decide which outfit to chose so I got them both :)

I went all out with matching hair bows, tights, cute little black shoes. I couldn't wait. My adorable little girl loves to have her picture taken so all should be great.

Well, picture day had arrived. It was snowing so I bundled Kiya all up after no morning nap and headed to the mall. Yes I said no nap. If you have a little one, you can see where this is headed.

Sure enough, super crabby Kiya emerged at the studio. She was crying, them screaming, then throwing a fit, then being really snuggly and of course sucking on her fingers. We took a break, ate some yogurt and things believe it or not got worse. So bad that we had to leave and try again later. We were tentatively going to go back that afternoon pending how lunch and nap time went.

Poor baby fell asleep on the way home. She slept for a couple hours, ate a big lunch and I figured let's try it. So packed us both back into our winter gear and headed back to the studio. And....

PICTURE SUCCESS :)

She wasn't as smiley as we know she can be but she was so sweet and adorable. We got some really great shots. She looks so cute. I can't wait to get our order in. I will post something here once we get the pics in next week.

I was recounting the experience to Dave and he told me that Kiya was awake the night before from 11pm until about 2am or later just playing in her crib. That is very unlike her to be awake for that long but her night was different since Dave and I went to a basketball game so maybe that was it. Had I known that in the morning I would have rescheduled and saved myself and the JCPenny's staff the shrieking.

Wordless Wednesday

30 posts in 30 days :)

I did it. I didn't think I could but I did. I know that some of my posts were let's say not so good but I hope a few of them were pretty decent.

It is tough to blog with a 1 year old but I will continue to try but will likely take some days off.

Today we had Kiya's parent-teacher conference at daycare. I know seems weird to have one of these for a 1 year old but whatever. I talk to her teachers every time I pick her up so I knew what to expect.

Kiya's teachers think she is doing just great. She shares toys with the other kids; she loves to put things in a bucket and take things out; she LOVES to throw things; she is very verbal; she eats like a champ (most of the time).

Overall they think she is right on track to slightly ahead in her fine motor skills and her verbal skills which is great. Remember way back in July when Birth to 3 told us she was about 36% behind in her verbal--not anymore :) My gabby little girl loves to blab away. She even talks to high chairs.

Things we and they will continue to work on are her gross motor skills, namely walking and pulling up. She thought about and kind of tried to pull up on one of her activity toys today which was a surprise. She still prefers to pull up using our fingers which at times can get a little frustrating for all parties involved.

Today she also showed a tremendous amount of desire to walk. I mean really walk with very little support. Sure we were still holding on but she wanted to really go. She also tried to take a couple steps holding on to the coffee table and then again with her toy. She doesn't cruise on furniture so we saw this as progress.

We are just encouraging her and supporting her. She will walk when she is ready. This is Kiya we are talking about. She will do it when she wants and no sooner. So we will watch, wait and continue to enjoy her.

Happy 1st Birthday Kiya

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Full and heavy heart

These past few days my heart has been full. Full of love, but it has also been heavy. Behind all the preparations and food and celebrations, I am mourning. I am mourning for Kiya. She can't yet and doesn't understand so it is my place as her mom to do it for her.

I am mourning the loss of her country, her birth family, her right to "fit in" in the land of her birth. I do indeed have a full and heavy heart. We are preparing to celebrate Kiya's first year on this planet and I am sad. I can't and won't let myself stop thinking about Zinash. I wonder what she is doing or thinking or feeling as this day approaches.

One year ago today, she was finishing her classes at school and realized she wasn't feeling well. She went to the clinic that afternoon already in pain and in labor. She told us that. She cried. I cried. We cried together as she recounted the story of Kiya's birth.

She told us she named her Yewibdar because it means "most beautiful one" and that is what she saw when she looked into that sweet baby girls face. You could hear in her voice how much she loved that little girl and that tears my heart apart. She loved her so much to let her go. I don't even have an ounce of that strength.

I am trying to find a simple yet meaningful way to remember Zinash tomorrow. It is important to me that she always be present in my house and that Kiya knows who this woman is. We are hoping to light a candle and say a prayer. We may watch her lifebook DVD. I haven't had the courage to watch it again. We watched it once in Ethiopia and I haven't been able to watch it yet. Kiya is too young to understand it. As she gets older, our jobs as parents get more challenging.

How will we share her story with her...I am not sure. Her story is clear to us but it isn't an easy story to tell. We will share it all with her when she is ready but at first in the early years she may only get bits and pieces. I won't ever lie to her or deny her her story but parts of it are not for young ears and will be a challenge for us to share and her to understand.

Tomorrow will be about us as a family. A whole family and by definition that includes Zinash. We will remember her and cherish her tomorrow and celebrate Kiya. Our Ethiopian Princess is turning 1 and I have a woman half a world away that I wish I could hug again and say thank you but those just don't seem like the right words. How do you thank someone for the best gift you will ever receive? One that caused the giver so much pain....

My heart is heavy today....

Kiya's Thanksgiving and Birthday Party

Yesterday was a fabulous day surrounded by family. It was Kiya's first Thanksgiving and you can tell below that dinner was a hit. She tended to favor the mashed potatoes and stuffing.

And after dinner it was party time. She wore the hat long enough for pictures and then ripped it off.

Yummy Birthday cake was enjoyed by all... except....

Kiya. She didn't seem to like the whole production. She ate really no cake and didn't like the frosting on her face, etc. Not the reaction we expected but by this point in the day she was tired and way over stimulated. We still have birthday cake so Sunday on her actual birthday we will try again.

Here she is surrounded by just a few of the new toys she received. Wow. Looks like a toy store in my living room right now. We don't want a repeat of this at Christmas so we are trying to find a creative way to let people know that clothes, books or a charitable donation would be a better idea. We are kind of toyed out at this point yet very grateful to everyone who thought of Kiya and what she might like.

Overall the day was a lot of fun. At times it was too much for Kiya but she was a trooper. She did go to bed at 6:15pm though and slept all night. She is definitely teething and is acting her age. Her appetite has been less than stellar and formula has been a no go for the last few days. Luckily she is drinking more and more milk each day so our days of formula may be nearing an end.

Two more days and my baby girl is officially 1.

Giving thanks

Today we are so blessed to be able to spend the day with our daughter and our family.

We have so very much to be thankful for. First and for most, we are so thankful to Zinash for wanting more for her daughter and loving her enough to let her go. We are thankful for Kiya. She is such a blessing and so amazing. We are thankful for our family and friends who have stood by us through the years and were so supportive during the tough times.

We have so much to be thankful for. 2009 has been and will continue to be a wonderful year for our family.

Wishing all of you out in blog land a Happy Thanksgiving.

PS--Stay tuned for adorable pictures from Kiya's birthday party :)

It's Official!

I know where are the cute pics--stay tuned as there are lots of great pics coming from Kiya's first Thanksgiving and of course 1st birthday!

But this post is for our Little Man :)

WE ARE ON THE LIST!!!!!

We got the call today. On the unofficial list we are probably around #90 and on the official list I am guessing we are near 370 or higher. So as of now we are about 2 years away from seeing our son's gorgeous face. We know that when our son is ready, he will find his way to us and we will be ready with open arms and an open heart.

The roller coaster ride is starting again and we couldn't be happier.

Bill of Rights

I saw this on a blog I read and had to pass it on. Besides this blogging every day thing is tough when you are planning Thanksgiving and a 1st birthday party. I am so glad I read this. Truly amazing and so important.

Copy it, print it off, link to this post, please just pass it along. And while you are at it. Check out this blog. An inspiring story of a woman and her struggles with PAD. She also wrote a book I wish I had read while we were waiting and plan to read to soon.

A Transracially-Adopted Child’s Bill of Rights Adapted by Liza Steinberg Triggs from “A Bill of Rights for Mixed Folks,” by Marilyn Dramé

Every child is entitled to:


Love and full membership in her family.

Have his culture embraced and valued.

Parents who know that this is a race conscious society.

Parents who know that she will experience life differently than they do.

Parents who are not looking to “save” him or to improve the world.

Parents who know that being in a family doesn’t depend on “matching.”

Parents who know that transracial adoption changes the family forever.

Be accepted by extended family members.

Parents who know that, if they are white, they benefit from racism.

Parents who know that they can’t transmit the child’s birth culture if it is not their own.

Have items at home that are made for and by people of his race.

Opportunities to make friends with people of her race or ethnicity.

Daily opportunities of positive experiences with his birth culture.

Build racial pride within her own home, school, and neighborhood.

Have many opportunities to connect with adults of the child’s race.

Parents who accept, understand and empathize with her culture.

Learn survival, problem-solving, and coping skills in a context of racial pride.

Take pride in the development of a dual identity and a multicultural/multiracial perspective on life.

Find his multiculturalism to be an asset and to conclude, “I’ve got the best of both worlds.”

Please don't touch my hair!

Okay--this has been bugging me for awhile and I need to vent. Every so often when we are out with Kiya, people stop to admire just how cute she is and then immediately touch her hair. Why?

They don't touch my hair....I know it is because she is adorable and her hair is deemed "different" and people are curious as to what it feels like but enough is enough. As she gets older this is going to get weirder.

How am I supposed to explain to Kiya why it is that people are touching her hair yet I am teaching her to keep her hands to herself?

We were out to dinner tonight and it happened 3 times. 3 times. It was mostly older people who were talking to her. Kiya seemed fine and was quite social tonight waving at people and smiling and singing but it still really bugged me.

I mean really bugged me. I know my daughter is cute and beyond adorable but please people stop touching her hair. It isn't there for your enjoyment. She isn't going to be allowed to go around and touch everyone else's hair.

I know there is some deeper things here and this is quite possibly the tip of the iceberg in terms of things we will deal with because our family doesn't look the same. The key is going to be determining the motives behind what is being done or said. I do believe there was no malicious intent tonight at dinner just some older grandparent like people admiring a super cute and giggly baby.

How I react when I get a not so good vibe remains to be seen. The key is to model appropriate responses to Kiya all the while being her best advocate.

It's Birthday Week

7 days! Oh my goodness. This time next week Kiya is 1.

I can hardly believe it is here. I still have a lot to do to get ready and we are keeping it low key. Thank goodness the house cleaners are coming on Tuesday so I can check that off the list.

We will celebrate with cake and balloons, etc on Thursday. So after we cook a 20lb turkey with all the fixings with a little help from family, out comes the Princess Birthday cake and ice cream.

We have her outfit all picked out and camera batteries are charging. Gifts still need to be wrapped but that will happen. Even though I am sure she is really only going to want to play with the wrapping paper and bows.

On Sunday, we are just hanging out the 3 of us. The hope is to make it to church and say some special prayers for Zinash and just enjoy our family. There will be pancakes since Kiya LOVES pancakes and I am pretty sure we will still have cake and ice cream left.

I am also going to have an extra box of tissues available as I am pretty sure I am going to cry. My little Peanut is growing up and this momma is excited and a little sad all at the same time.

PAD?

PAD or post adoption depression is not something a lot of people talk about but it is real.

I haven't really ever written about it here but was inspired to tell my story because of some other strong women I know who were brave enough to put it out there.

In May of 2007 we were 6 months into our wait for a domestic adoption. We got a phone call about the possibility of being matched with a birth mom who had twin girls. The girls were born in April. Well, 2 weeks later we took a legal risk placement of the girls. In essence we were foster parents until all legal matters could be resolved and there was a termination of parental rights hearing.

So here I was a Mom in all senses of the word with two beautiful 8 week old girls. This is what I dreamed of. This is what I had wanted for the years we struggled with infertility--to be a Mom. So what was the problem? I had all these expectations of what motherhood would look like. I would fall head over heels in love and cherish every moment of it. So when that didn't happen I was at a loss. I felt lost. I didn't know what to do.

I never really felt a connection to the girls. It was almost as if I was living outside of myself and going through the motions. I didn't have this instant bond or love for them. Sure I took good care of them but I didn't love them the way a mother was supposed to love children. Maybe because they legally weren't mine? I am not sure. All I know is that I was miserable and felt guilty every day for feeling this way. What was wrong with me? I had children, that is what I wanted. Maybe I wasn't cut out to be Mom?

I thought all of these things. We cared for the girls for 2 months and just towards the end of our time together did I start to feel any sense of connection and really with only one of the girls. It was in so many ways the hardest 2 months of my life. I was out of sorts and not sure who I was and throw in the craziness that is adoption and I thought for sure I had lost my mind. The worst part was I felt so alone. I hadn't done any homework on PAD so I at the time didn't know what it was.

So as we were preparing to bring Kiya home, I was acutely aware of what I felt our first go round with kids and honestly, I was nervous. Terrified actually. What if I flew for 24 hours to meet this little girl and I didn't instantly fall in love or feel like a Mom? What if I were to just go through the motions again? Could I really do this?

Well, we walked up those stairs to meet our little girl and the tears were there, the feelings were real but I can't say it was a mutual or instant love. I knew she was my daughter and things felt different this time but we just met this was going to take time. The most important thing I told myself as we geared up for this trip of a lifetime, is that it is okay to take time. It is okay to not fall head over heels in love the instant we see her. It is perfectly normal.

Don't get me wrong I loved Kiya the second I saw her picture back in January but truly love as in we have a mother/daughter love took some time. Not long but time. The first weeks home were tough. Illness, jet lag and settling in to being a full time parent were an adjustment and just when we figured that out I went back to work.

I knew things were really different this time when I went back to work. I kind of threw a fit and complained about it. I didn't want to be away from Kiya. We were enjoying the time together and I didn't want to miss that. With the twins I only took two weeks off and not even two full weeks and when I was at work I didn't really miss them or wonder what they were doing. I was grateful to have work to get out of the house.

I guess the reason I wrote this is because once I did my homework and read other stories, it was a huge comfort to know that I wasn't alone. That I wasn't crazy and that what I felt with the twins and even a little with Kiya was totally normal. When you adopt you have this huge rush of excitement to get the paperwork done, to get on the wait list, to move up the wait list, to get the call, to pass court, etc. and when the moment happens that you actually meet that's it. The excitement is over. There are no more deadlines to meet or expectations. You are now a parent. Good luck and have fun. And oh yeah, welcome to the world of 5 minutes to shower, screaming, dirty diapers, puke, snotty noses, no free time, no idea what you are doing all with a child you have known for merely a week.

My best advice and something I will tell myself as we do this again, is that it takes time and that is okay. I am not crazy. I am a good Mom, it just took me some time to actually believe that.

What a day

It has been a whirlwind of a day.

First, safe travels to my friend Theresa. She is on her way to pick up her sweet daughter the fabulous Miss Orange in Ethiopia.

Second, HUGE congrats to my friend Rachel and her family for passing court in Ethiopia.

And then in our news, Kiya's blood tests for Hepatitis C came back NEGATIVE :) We are so thrilled that she is still testing negative for the disease. And it gets better, the doctor said we will repeat blood work in 1 year. No more blood tests at least for awhile :)

After I got this fabulous news, I went and ordered Kiya's birthday cake. It is set to be picked up on Wednesday. Also being picked up on Wednesday are balloons or boons as we like to call them. (If you haven't read the Belly Button book it is a must).

This weekend brings lots of things to do. Some friends are moving to Tennessee after the holidays so we are going out for Ethiopian food before they leave. We will miss them for sure. Dave is off to the Packer game on Sunday and then we have to go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving which is a HUGE task.

For now I am hoping to catch a little nap if Kiya naps that is....

They think she is ready

It's true. We got the papers yesterday that Kiya's daycare teachers think she is ready to transition to the 1 year old room. They didn't ask me...I am not ready.

I love her teachers right now. I like the room and the activities and the whole bit. Kiya LOVES it in there. But they think she is ready. Ready to move on. Ready to be a toddler.

I worry. She is going from the oldest in her room back to being the youngest. She doesn't crawl, or walk or pull up. She does walk holding on to our fingers and she does pull up if we give her our hands. She doesn't cruise on furniture but stands up really well. She has to work on the holding on thing but her balance is really improving. They think she is ready. I just don't want her to get stepped on.

She will figure out it that much I know. I talked to the teachers about my concerns and they reassured me that she will be just fine. They have sent plenty of kids to the 1 year old room who don't walk or crawl and they do just fine. The nice thing is there will be other kids from her current room transitioning to the same new room so her friends are going with her.

The teachers also told me that Kiya may not be the most mobile(other than her new found love of rolling everywhere) but since she is eating table food and drinking from a cup and holding her own bottle she will be ahead of some of the other kids who recently transferred to that room.

We picked our daycare for a reason. We like the curriculum and the diversity. I know she will be fine and deep down I know she is ready. She is ready to be a toddler. She is ready to move on from the infant room. She is the second oldest in her room right now. The oldest crawls and does his own thing. The next closest in age to Kiya is a 9 1/2 month old that also doesn't crawl or walk. She doesn't even stand. The rest of the kids are 5 months or less. There isn't a challenge for Kiya anymore. There aren't older kids for her to look up to or want to be like.

While I trust the teachers, I got a little teary eyed when I read the transition papers. My baby girl is growing up. Momma is not quite ready for that and yet I am excited to watch her grow. Does that even make sense?

So starting the week of December 14th, Kiya will be moving on. Moving from her Sunshine Sea infant room to her Barnyard Buddies toddler room. We can do this. We both will be fine.

Wordless Wednesday

Thank you

I just need to say a big THANKS to everyone who sent me a note, an email or posted a comment on my blog yesterday. It is nice to know that Kiya has people rooting for her even if she has only met one of you in person and probably doesn't even remember that even though we are secretly arranging a marriage between Sammy and Kiya :). I realized that I too have only met a couple of you in real life.

Yet I know that when I need support or prayers or a pick me up you are all out there in blog land. How I would have survived this whole adoption thing without blog land is beyond me.

I am anxiously awaiting the phone to ring with her test results, even though I know it may not happen today. I got a few questions yesterday that were quite personal, as in did we ask for a child with a medical condition and things along those lines.

First off, Kiya in my mind doesn't have a medical condition. She may at some point but she doesn't right now to my knowledge. Secondly, we did fill out a form with medical conditions that we were okay with or would consider at time of referral. This medical episode if you will was not on any checklist. Yes it is a checklist and hands down the worst piece of paperwork I have ever had to talk about or fill out. It is just weird to say yes to this or no to that or maybe. We wouldn't have those options for a birth child.

In the end it wouldn't have mattered had we known this info at referral or not. She was from day one our little girl. We weren't prepared for this episode but we are more than equipped to handle it. International adoption comes with unknowns and risks. We knew that. We are okay with that.

Someone even asked me if we had known this info at referral would we still have accepted. YES! Without a doubt 100%. Worst case scenario, it is a liveable and maybe some day treatable illness. She can lead a totally "normal" (I hate that word) life. Sure it would require specialists, and blood tests and maybe medicine but it is manageable.

We are holding out hope that she falls in line with the statistics that say her chances of actually getting Hep C are slim but if not it is what it is. What really stinks is that we can't reach out to her birth mom. Since it is likely that is how she was exposed to it to begin with. We worry about Zinash and her health. We are fortunate to have specialists, medical care and even medicine if need be. She may not and likely doesn't. Untreated this could be a fatal condition. That breaks my heart.

Back to waiting for the phone to ring...Thanks again everyone for the support and if you need anything at all I am in blog land for you as well. I know how important the support is when the tough stuff comes up.

Say a little pray

I haven't blogged about this in a while but the time has come that I need to let off a little steam and say a little pray for Kiya.

During routine blood work once first home from Ethiopia, Kiya tested positive for Hepatitis C antibodies. She then tested negative for Hepatitis C. What does that mean? It means that she was exposed to Hep C likely from her mother but she at that time did not actually have Hep C.

Well it has been 3 months and she needed to be retested. We learned today, that she is still testing positive for Hep C antibodies. We are going in for additional blood work to test for Hep C the disease.

There is a less than 5% chance that she will ever get Hepatitis C but as long as she is testing positive for the antibodies we have to stay on top of it. The doctor had hoped that when she was a year she would test negative for the antibodies but she didn't. So we are going to have to repeat all of these blood tests again in 3 months.

We have done our homework and are prepared for whatever may come. We are of course saying prayers that she continues to test negative for the actual disease and that in 3 months she won't still be testing positive for the antibodies.

The worst part is the actual blood draw. It is so tough on Kiya. She doesn't have great veins so it is usually torture for her. Last time they had to prick her finger to get the blood. They come near her with the rubber tie for her arm and she starts screaming. She hates it and I hate it as her mother.

Wish us both luck.

6 months ago

Six months ago today, we brought home our little peanut. She was 5 1/2 months and just as cute and as sweet as can be. She was wearing some 0-3 month cloths and some 3-6 month. She weighed barely 12lbs and was just over 2 ft long.

Six months later she is 2 weeks shy of her 1st birthday and still just as cute and sweet with a bigger than life personality thrown in. She is now fully in 12 month cloths working her way on to 12-18 month. She weighs, we are guessing close to 20lbs and is about 30 inches long.

On days like today, I remember fondly my time in Ethiopia. I miss it really. There is so much more I want to see and learn and experience. This wonderful country will always be dear to my heart and I eagerly await the day I can share it with Kiya.

While 6 months seems like such a short time and it is, I just can't imagine my life without her. Our whole lives changed the day we got on that plane and we haven't looked back. We continue to watch in amazement as Kiya grows from an infant to a toddler.

So as we gear up to celebrate her 1st birthday, we are also taking time to remember and pray for dear Zinash. We haven't figured out how but on Kiya's birthday we plan to incorporate a special prayer for her. Sure we are doing the big birthday cake thing on Thanksgiving a few days before her birthday but on the actual day the 3 of us are going to do something special to honor and remember Zinash for without her love and courage, we wouldn't have our sweet Kiya.

Spirited Child?

I may have mentioned this before but I am really thinking Kiya is and will be a spirited child. Why do I say that, well here are some examples...

1) She at 10 months already started throwing temper tantrums. Yes, the kicking and screaming kind. She even threw a cracker at me.

2) She is VERY stubborn. She does things how she wants and when she wants and no one is going to tell her otherwise. Example: tummy time. She will only do tummy time now when she puts herself in it. Then she is fine and plays and giggles and even dances to her music. If we put her in tummy time she throws a fit. See above.

3) She is VERY vocal. She always has been very vocal. She has decided recently that to get what she wants she will scream. She will scream to be picked up, when she is tired, hungry, wants her sippy cup or wants a toy that is out of reach.

4) She can be very defiant. She will ask (aka point) for her sippy cup so we give it to her. She grabs it, looks at us with a sly little smile and throws it on the floor. She then looks at us like, what I didn't do it....repeat this same scenario with finger foods and add in a couple of pugs and meal times become quite the production.

We were hoping a lot of this would be a phase but as the days go on it is becoming clear that we definitely have a strong willed little girl who knows what she wants and when she wants it and if she doesn't like something she is going to make that known. Trust me. Try taking her bath toy away when bath time is over. If you are my neighbor, you may have heard the outcome.

What does this all mean? Who knows! I think we are about to find out though. She is going to keep us on our toes that's for sure and while some days are challenging most days are amazing. This is all the stuff they don't tell you about parenthood. We are figuring it out as we go.

This year it's different

For many years while we struggled with infertility, the holidays were hard. I mean really hard. I would look at women at church who were pregnant and wonder when is it my turn. Yeah not my finest moments.

As we ventured into adoption, I would wonder maybe this year I can buy a Halloween costume for my child or a Christmas outfit?? It was the same year after year for more years than I care to recall. The holidays brought a deep seeded sadness. I think I hid it fairly well who knows, maybe I didn't but I think I did.

I dreaded opening the door on Halloween or walking in the mall at Christmas. It brought about too many what ifs and I wonders.

This year it is different. This year I am a Mom. I am finally a Mom. Kiya will be here for the holidays. I can share all the traditions and make new ones with her. It finally really happened. All the what ifs and I wonders are now I can's and we will.

I will bake Christmas cookies with Kiya and decorate the tree. We will celebrate Thanksgiving as a family and she can have her first bites of pumpkin pie. All those pictures of what I hoped for in the future are coming true.

This year it is real. This year the holidays won't bring sadness. They will bring pure joy. Joy like I have never experienced before. I feel joy everyday when I look at Kiya and I am so excited to be able to share this time of year with her. I know she won't remember her first Thanksgiving or Christmas but I do hope she knows how much we love her and how grateful we are to have her in our lives.

I predicted many many months ago that 2009 would finally be our year. And boy has it ever. This year without a doubt has been and will always be one of the best years of our lives.

International adoption, Ethiopia, Little Man and more

This is a heavy post. Just an FYI. It is me sorting through some tough stuff.

We just got word the other day that our agency has officially extended the wait time for referral of a child age 0-24months to 16-24months. Not a shock, we fully expected this. The shock came in the same announcement that they have stopped accepting applications for the Ethiopia program effective immediately for families looking to adopt a child 0-24 months. Reality is they probably should have done this sooner but it is what it is. We just barely made that cut off.

Our hearts belong in Ethiopia and in a way they always will. Can I say at this writing that I am 100% sure that our Little Man will be born in Ethiopia, no I can't. My deep seeded fear that is surfacing more and more each day is that Ethiopia will shut down to international adoption before we can realize the dream of a son. Do I know that will happen, no but it is a fear and I believe a good one. There are a lot of red flags and warning signs right now and it is a scary thing.

So then what? Well, if that happens we would definitely have to switch agencies. While I can't say my son will be born in Ethiopia, I would like to confidently say that he would be born in Africa or the Caribbean. I feel and believe that in my heart. Our current agency doesn't have any other programs in either of those places right now. We are pretty sure we know what agency we would switch to. The list is short.

There is always domestic adoption but I honestly don't know if I could ever go back to that. I just don't have the heart for it. Can I say I would 100% rule it out as an option, no but I have a lot more soul searching to do before that would become a reality. I admire those willing to tough it out. I am not that strong. I was strong once and I don't think I could be that strong again. I don't know.

Absolute worst case scenario, and yes we talked about this just last night. We have a daughter. A beautiful daughter that we love more than anything in this world and we are so honored to be her parents. If that is it for us, one child then we couldn't ask for a more perfect child. Yes, this brings tears to my eyes and it scares me.

There was a time in my life that I wasn't sure I even wanted to have children. That changed and I LOVE being a mom. I would love to have more than one child but in reality it isn't up to us. God made that pretty clear. He led us to adoption once and is leading us there again and we just have to have faith. That is a whole lot easier said than done.

International adoption is never a guarantee and it is definitely not an easy path. We knew that going in though it was much harder than I thought it would be. We want our adoptions to be ethical and above board. Ethics to be honest wasn't always a topic on the table. I feel I have come along way in my thought process and I owe that to wise AP's who have come before me. They have made me think. Really think. I have said this before that I feel that Kiya's adoption was above board and ethical. I want the same feeling when we adopt our son be it from Ethiopia or some place else.

As we gear up to start waiting, my plan is to focus on today. Focus on this beautiful little girl in my life and cherish every moment with her. We can deal with the reality of adoption, when we need to. Right now we need to be the best parents we can to Kiya. She deserves nothing less than our very best. She will keep us going and going and going I have a feeling but every tired moment is so worth it.

Don't get me wrong, I pray everyday that our Little Man will join our family some time in the future but I also realize that at some point Little Man may be another daughter or may not be at all. Time will tell and what is supposed to be will be. We are merely waiting for more instructions.

Wordless Wednesday

Little Man Update

Our home study is just about done :) Our social worker has all of the paper work she needs.

I contacted our agency and learned something today. The process has changed. For Kiya, we had to have our home study approved, then we did everything for our dossier and once that was approved we were added to the list or deemed officially waiting.

This time....once our home study is approved we are officially waiting. That's right, our home study could be on it's way to CHSFS for approval this week. Which means, that by Thanksgiving (hopefully) we should be officially waiting for our son. That is just a few weeks away.

So what about our dossier? Well, after a few months of waiting, a dossier specialist will contact us for that part of the process.

It is exciting to think we will be officially waiting again soon but I was looking forward to having the bulk of the paper work finished too. Oh well, at least I can get through Kiya's birthday, the holidays, etc and not have to worry about paper work.

We are on our way, Little Man :)

Operation Make Formula Colder

A couple days ago we started this operation. We and daycare had been making Kiya's bottle's pretty warm. Well, a wise friend advised that when we switch to milk to not warm it or you will likely always have to warm it as she does for her 4 year old. Good advice. So we decided to start weaning her off the warmness.

Mommy always made them warmer than Daddy so it was a harder adjustment for me to make. As for Kiya, she could care less. She is drinking more formula now than she ever used to warm or cold. The trick--let her hold the bottle herself. She will usually do about 90% of the bottle on her own now unless she is really tired then she wants help.

We still sit with her and watch as she sometimes likes to turn the bottle upside down in her seat. Yeah she thinks it is funny or she just drops it and is too tired to pick it back up. We just pick it up for her and hand it to her and she will take it and drink it.

You can tell she is just so proud of herself. When she is done and 9 times out 10 she will drink the entire 6 oz she has a huge smile on her face. She has never been great about drinking bottles at daycare but we told them to let her try and bam she drank 6oz which is almost never heard of. There was one teacher she would drink for and for everyone else it was a miracle if they got 3 oz in her usually it was much less or none at all.

We haven't gone all cold yet but will get there shortly. Then the game plan is to just offer her milk in a cup with meals and bottles(formula) only first thing in the morning and at night. We are going to eliminate her midday bottle but still offer her milk just in a cup. We will try that for a couple weeks and then closer to or just after her first birthday start making the switch to all milk. First the morning bottle and then the night time depending on how well she does with it.

Game plan is in place for the big milk switch. For now just getting a little colder a little at a time.

3 weeks

That's right. 3 weeks or 21 days or 504 hours or 30240 minutes until....

KIYA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

Can you tell I am excited :)

We have her birthday shirt already but other than that we haven't done anything. I haven't even purchased her birthday present yet but we do know what we are getting her. Well we kind of do. We are either getting her this or this.

As for a birthday party, well her actual birthday is 3 days after Thanksgiving but we are going to celebrate on Thanksgiving. We host Thanksgiving dinner at our house each year so the family will be here so we figured it is the perfect opportunity.

She will have a cake and maybe a little pumpkin pie. We are guessing that she will dive right in to her cake since she always finds the food on the high chair and runs her hands through the mess but she could surprise us. She hasn't really had sweets yet but she generally will eat just about anything except chicken nuggets and peaches those are pretty much a no go.

Her 1 year check up isn't until mid December so we won't know what she weighs or how tall she is for a little while longer. I do know one thing though, we put a 6-12 month size dress on her today and it was too short. We had to put jeans on underneath which is quite stylish but wow is she getting tall. I know she isn't a giant and is probably just taller than average but she is tall and lean so she looks taller than she is.

Lots of exciting things coming up this month for Miss Kiya. As for Little Man, our application part 2 has been received and our home study agency is waiting for one reference to get there and then our home study can be completed and sent in for approval. We are still hopeful to get back on the list by the end of November but it could be December but for sure should be by the end of the year at the latest. There is only so much we are in control of so once our part is done we have to wait for our agency to review and approve things and that takes time.

Lot's to do and not a lot of time to get it done but it will all work out the way it is supposed to.

Separation anxiety

It has set in in our house and while some would find the shrieking annoying I LOVE it.

I know weird right but when you are an adoptive parent it is kind of a special moment when you baby has bonded with you and actually misses you if you leave the room. It warms my heart.

Sure when we are at a brunch buffet and I leave and Dave stays with Kiya (or vice versa) and she starts screaming and others are staring it can be a tad much. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Scream away Miss Kiya. We love you too.

I know it is an age appropriate thing but again as adoptive parents we tend to over analyze every little thing. So we kept wondering when and if this stage would set in and were we doing something wrong. Guess not :)

So far she hasn't screamed when Dave drops her off at daycare but she really likes her daycare so that could be part of it. We anticipate at some point though that may change. She will be changing rooms sometime in the next couple of months and that may be the fuel that starts it. We put in a request for a specific room as Kiya has this teacher the first couple months she was at daycare and we really like her. We know that they can't guarantee she gets in that room but we are trying and so is the teacher. As of right now it is a no go as the room is full and the next child to age out doesn't turn 2 until April. Bummer. We know she will do fine in whatever room she goes to but still hoping for our first choice.

But for now...

She likes us. She really likes us.

I am posting but I don't want to

I committed to posting everyday in November so here it is. I am sick. I spent all day in bed or on the couch in my pajamas or sweats. That's it. Commitment filled and I hope tomorrow can bring an I feel better post or at the very least a cute picture or two of Kiya. For now back to the couch.

Formula, Milk, Sippy cups oh my

Well the time has come that we need to start thinking about transitioning Kiya to whole milk. One problem is, I have no idea how to do that.

1) Do we still warm it up?
2) What if she hates it?
3)Do we mix it with formula at first?
4)Do we go cold turkey?
5) do we give it to her in a sippy cup or a bottle?

Kiya has never been a huge fan of formula. She on a good day will drink 15-17oz of formula but averages closer to 12-13oz. I know shocker. I got some raised eyebrows from some friends who thought I should be concerned and we should talk to our doctor. She should be drinking according to them 20-24oz of formula a day. Not going to happen. Kiya's doctor is well aware and not concerned and neither are we. She is a FABULOUS eater so why mess with a good thing. It just isn't a battle I am willing to fight.

Kiya will eat just about anything. She LOVES cheese which is great since we live in Wisconsin. She also LOVES yogurt. We aren't worried about her calcium levels. And she eats a wide variety of fruits, veggies and meat.

As for the bottle vs. sippy cup. Well Kiya will currently only drink water and maybe some watered down juice from a sippy. She loves water and juice is a treat at daycare every so often. We have tried to put formula in a sippy cup and that was a no go. It was like she knows it is in there and is like "no mommy". She is strong willed that's for sure.

This is something we will start working on in the next week. She just learned how to feed herself her own bottle so we don't want to take that away from her just yet. She is so proud of herself. You can see it on her face.

My baby girl is getting so big.

Wordless Wednesday

Miss Kiya and our Little Man

Today was a day about both of our sweet children. We had our 6 month post placement meeting with our local social worker. Wow. 6 months and yet it is hard to imagine my life without her.

This was the last post placement report that our social worker will do for Kiya. We are on our own. Every May until Kiya is 18 years old, we will fill out a report and attach pictures and send it off to CHSFS. This is not an agency specific requirement but an Ethiopia requirement.

So come May I will be filling out this report and here is the scary part--Kiya will be almost 18 months old. Wow.

We also spent the morning finishing some paper work that will lead us to our little man. We are mailing application part 2 in today. Our home study is almost done and we are gathering documents for our dossier. It is going to be a whirlwind month for sure.

We are fully anticipating the wait for a referral for our little man to take 18-24 months. Officially our agency is quoting 12-18 months for a referral but having been down this path before we are setting ourselves up for a longer wait. The hardest part about waiting for Kiya was the changing timelines. We were told 6-9 months and waited 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. Currently people are waiting 16 or more months for a referral so we are figuring it will be at least 18 month but more likely closer to 24 months.

From there it will be 4-6 months after referral for travel so in our minds we are telling ourselves it will be at least 2 1/2 years before we bring our son home and maybe longer.

So at this point our little man isn't even a glimmer yet but when he is ready we will be too. In the meantime we plan on enjoying every minute with Miss Kiya. She is such a joy to be around so that isn't a hard task at all.

27 days

27 days until Miss Kiya's first birthday. :)

And so far 2 days in a row of blog posts :) I am chatty but this may be tough to come up with 30 posts that are even remotely interesting. At least I get Wednesday's off for pictures and you may just see more pictures as time is tight. Of all months for 30 posts this is it. There is a lot going on in our growing family this month. Dossier prep, 1st birthdays, playgroups, Thanksgiving, etc.

So for today's lovely rant: The perfect baby?

Why is it that other parents make assumptions of what kids should be doing and shouldn't be doing based on an age? I know you are probably tired of my complaining about people comparing babies but really enough is enough already. Every kid is different!

Sure I read the charts of developmental milestones. I get my babycenter.com emails and I read my "What to Expect the First Year" book. And yes there are things on all of those lists that say Kiya should be able to do certain things and she has yet to do them. Can she do them, yes I think she can. Why isn't she--ask her.

That said, if I read ahead a few months to see what to expect she is already doing some of those things that are expected of older kids. She can feed herself, she can drink from a cup, she can bend at the waist and pick up a toy. She babbles like it is her own little language. I could go on. She is developing on her timeline so if she skips things now to do other things that is okay. She doesn't have to go in order. It isn't a rule.

I guess my frustration lies in the judgement I sometimes see in other parent's questions that some how Kiya isn't developing well. I on the contrary think she is doing just fine. She has been evaluated by her doctor. Her doctor said most kids don't walk until after they are 1 years old so why does almost everyone expect Kiya to be walking?

Do I think her gross motor skills are delayed--maybe a little. Is she outside the range of normal? No she isn't so therefore I am not concerned. She couldn't stand at all at homecoming and when evaluated by Birth to 3 at 7 months she could for just a little bit so 4 months later for her to be walking while holding our fingers and standing up playing with toys is GREAT.

Why is there so much pressure for kids to exceed all milestones and be super smart? Why are their infomercials selling parents products to make their baby read? Why do babies need to read? I just don't see the need to put so much pressure on little ones. She will do everything she needs to when she wants to and when she is ready. It isn't for me to decide or force on her at this point. If she isn't walking by 18 months then we will intervene. She grew so tall in such a short time the doctor thinks she just has to get used to her new limbs and how to move them all together.

I look at it this way. She has been through so much in such a short time. How she is processing that is hard to say. She has been with us longer than she was in Ethiopia. This is the longest she has been in one place with the same caregivers. She is a strong and stubborn little angel. She has some confidence issues and is learning to trust. She is curious and a daredevil and can be a little shy. We can see the wheels turning and right now that is all that matters.