Our home study is just about done :) Our social worker has all of the paper work she needs.
I contacted our agency and learned something today. The process has changed. For Kiya, we had to have our home study approved, then we did everything for our dossier and once that was approved we were added to the list or deemed officially waiting.
This time....once our home study is approved we are officially waiting. That's right, our home study could be on it's way to CHSFS for approval this week. Which means, that by Thanksgiving (hopefully) we should be officially waiting for our son. That is just a few weeks away.
So what about our dossier? Well, after a few months of waiting, a dossier specialist will contact us for that part of the process.
It is exciting to think we will be officially waiting again soon but I was looking forward to having the bulk of the paper work finished too. Oh well, at least I can get through Kiya's birthday, the holidays, etc and not have to worry about paper work.
We are on our way, Little Man :)
Showing posts with label process. Show all posts
Showing posts with label process. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
3 weeks
That's right. 3 weeks or 21 days or 504 hours or 30240 minutes until....
KIYA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
Can you tell I am excited :)
We have her birthday shirt already but other than that we haven't done anything. I haven't even purchased her birthday present yet but we do know what we are getting her. Well we kind of do. We are either getting her this or this.
As for a birthday party, well her actual birthday is 3 days after Thanksgiving but we are going to celebrate on Thanksgiving. We host Thanksgiving dinner at our house each year so the family will be here so we figured it is the perfect opportunity.
She will have a cake and maybe a little pumpkin pie. We are guessing that she will dive right in to her cake since she always finds the food on the high chair and runs her hands through the mess but she could surprise us. She hasn't really had sweets yet but she generally will eat just about anything except chicken nuggets and peaches those are pretty much a no go.
Her 1 year check up isn't until mid December so we won't know what she weighs or how tall she is for a little while longer. I do know one thing though, we put a 6-12 month size dress on her today and it was too short. We had to put jeans on underneath which is quite stylish but wow is she getting tall. I know she isn't a giant and is probably just taller than average but she is tall and lean so she looks taller than she is.
Lots of exciting things coming up this month for Miss Kiya. As for Little Man, our application part 2 has been received and our home study agency is waiting for one reference to get there and then our home study can be completed and sent in for approval. We are still hopeful to get back on the list by the end of November but it could be December but for sure should be by the end of the year at the latest. There is only so much we are in control of so once our part is done we have to wait for our agency to review and approve things and that takes time.
Lot's to do and not a lot of time to get it done but it will all work out the way it is supposed to.
KIYA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
Can you tell I am excited :)
We have her birthday shirt already but other than that we haven't done anything. I haven't even purchased her birthday present yet but we do know what we are getting her. Well we kind of do. We are either getting her this or this.
As for a birthday party, well her actual birthday is 3 days after Thanksgiving but we are going to celebrate on Thanksgiving. We host Thanksgiving dinner at our house each year so the family will be here so we figured it is the perfect opportunity.
She will have a cake and maybe a little pumpkin pie. We are guessing that she will dive right in to her cake since she always finds the food on the high chair and runs her hands through the mess but she could surprise us. She hasn't really had sweets yet but she generally will eat just about anything except chicken nuggets and peaches those are pretty much a no go.
Her 1 year check up isn't until mid December so we won't know what she weighs or how tall she is for a little while longer. I do know one thing though, we put a 6-12 month size dress on her today and it was too short. We had to put jeans on underneath which is quite stylish but wow is she getting tall. I know she isn't a giant and is probably just taller than average but she is tall and lean so she looks taller than she is.
Lots of exciting things coming up this month for Miss Kiya. As for Little Man, our application part 2 has been received and our home study agency is waiting for one reference to get there and then our home study can be completed and sent in for approval. We are still hopeful to get back on the list by the end of November but it could be December but for sure should be by the end of the year at the latest. There is only so much we are in control of so once our part is done we have to wait for our agency to review and approve things and that takes time.
Lot's to do and not a lot of time to get it done but it will all work out the way it is supposed to.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Let the paperchase begin :)
It's official. We have started the paperchase for our Little Man. Our social worker came over today to update our homestudy. One of these times, just maybe I could get through the homestudy update without tears...Guess we will find out at the next update.
So what is next? I am going to begin gathering dossier documents. CHSFS won't review our application until the first week of November so the plan is to have everything mailed into them prior to that so when we hit the magic date all paperwork is in. If I can pull it off on my end and all things fall into place on the receiving end, we hope to be officially waiting again by the end of November for our Little Man aged 0-18 months.
WOW! Could we maybe bring home a toddler? Yes we could or it could be an infant we are open. The only thing we know for sure is that our Little Man will be younger than Kiya. We are super excited and ready to just get the paperwork in and focus on our little girl. Little Man will be always in our hearts and we will wait for him with more patience (hopefully) as we are more prepared for all that the wait means.
Current quoted wait times are 12-18 months for a referral with 3-5 months post referral for travel. We are expecting to wait much closer to the 18 month plus mark for a referral and are hopeful the post referral wait stays about the same. So we are planning for at least a 2 year process but more likely 2 1/2 years to maybe even 3 years. Kiya will likely be over 3 years old when our Little Man joins the family.
As we have learned things change all the time in international adoption, we are just hopeful for a smooth process without a lot of unnecessary delays. We will wait and pray as long as we need to for our son. It will all happen when it is supposed to. We just pray that Ethiopian adoptions stay stable and ethical and that we will be blessed with a little boy who shares the cultural background of our daughter.
So what is next? I am going to begin gathering dossier documents. CHSFS won't review our application until the first week of November so the plan is to have everything mailed into them prior to that so when we hit the magic date all paperwork is in. If I can pull it off on my end and all things fall into place on the receiving end, we hope to be officially waiting again by the end of November for our Little Man aged 0-18 months.
WOW! Could we maybe bring home a toddler? Yes we could or it could be an infant we are open. The only thing we know for sure is that our Little Man will be younger than Kiya. We are super excited and ready to just get the paperwork in and focus on our little girl. Little Man will be always in our hearts and we will wait for him with more patience (hopefully) as we are more prepared for all that the wait means.
Current quoted wait times are 12-18 months for a referral with 3-5 months post referral for travel. We are expecting to wait much closer to the 18 month plus mark for a referral and are hopeful the post referral wait stays about the same. So we are planning for at least a 2 year process but more likely 2 1/2 years to maybe even 3 years. Kiya will likely be over 3 years old when our Little Man joins the family.
As we have learned things change all the time in international adoption, we are just hopeful for a smooth process without a lot of unnecessary delays. We will wait and pray as long as we need to for our son. It will all happen when it is supposed to. We just pray that Ethiopian adoptions stay stable and ethical and that we will be blessed with a little boy who shares the cultural background of our daughter.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Trying to find my happy place....
A few months ago before we had our referral, I wrote about the things I have learned while adopting internationally and one of the things I mentioned was having questions and there not always being answers and to be prepared for delays.
Unfortunately I have had to encounter lots of questions with no answers and these lack of answers may translate into delays.
So we have learned that the US Embassy is requiring that all children be tested for TB prior to being issued a US Visa. I get that. The part that gets challenging is when are these tests done? For children under 2, a panel will review the child's history and determine if there are any physical signs and determine if they need a gastric aspiration (whatever that is) and then if that is positive they will need to stay in Ethiopia for an undetermined amount of time to be treated. So I see this going a couple of ways. 1) The panel could decide that Peanut's history looks good and there are no physical signs and all is fine or 2) The panel will decide that she needs to have this culture test done which could take up to 8 weeks to confirm a negative (but we aren't sure about that) and lastly if she is positive she would have to stay for a few months to be treated.
I have asked a lot of questions and there are no answers of yet. I apologize in advance for this next part may be quite whiny but I am grumpy! Since no one knows how this will play out it could mean that we will be delayed in being able to go get Peanut. Yes I said delayed. THAT STINKS! I am trying to stay positive and hope and pray that we aren't delayed but that is a lot easier said than done. I mean I really do understand the need for the testing but the urgency of implementing it immediately and the effects that will have on me being united with my daughter are why I am frustrated. The fact that they are implementing these new practices without being able to answer questions is infuriating. Why now? Why not in 6 months? Why not say starting May 1st at time of referral all children will be given a TB test and then go through the necessary steps. That way if the doctors need to wait for cultures, the family isn't waiting to travel but maybe still waiting for their court date and if a child needs treatment then that can be started before a family passes court so they aren't that much more delayed.
I fully realize that I am being selfish. I am trying to find my happy place. I mean I really am trying. I realize that this may all turn out fine and we won't get delayed or we will be delayed. The fact that no one has the answer to that question is frustrating.
When they tell you that International Adoption is not for the faint of heart, they mean it. This is tough. The toughest thing I have ever done and I am not sure it is any easier now that I can stare at my daughter's face on the mantel. Seeing that tiny little face makes my heart melt and being unsure of when we might be able to united with her makes my heart break.
On the plus side, 18 days until our court date.
Unfortunately I have had to encounter lots of questions with no answers and these lack of answers may translate into delays.
So we have learned that the US Embassy is requiring that all children be tested for TB prior to being issued a US Visa. I get that. The part that gets challenging is when are these tests done? For children under 2, a panel will review the child's history and determine if there are any physical signs and determine if they need a gastric aspiration (whatever that is) and then if that is positive they will need to stay in Ethiopia for an undetermined amount of time to be treated. So I see this going a couple of ways. 1) The panel could decide that Peanut's history looks good and there are no physical signs and all is fine or 2) The panel will decide that she needs to have this culture test done which could take up to 8 weeks to confirm a negative (but we aren't sure about that) and lastly if she is positive she would have to stay for a few months to be treated.
I have asked a lot of questions and there are no answers of yet. I apologize in advance for this next part may be quite whiny but I am grumpy! Since no one knows how this will play out it could mean that we will be delayed in being able to go get Peanut. Yes I said delayed. THAT STINKS! I am trying to stay positive and hope and pray that we aren't delayed but that is a lot easier said than done. I mean I really do understand the need for the testing but the urgency of implementing it immediately and the effects that will have on me being united with my daughter are why I am frustrated. The fact that they are implementing these new practices without being able to answer questions is infuriating. Why now? Why not in 6 months? Why not say starting May 1st at time of referral all children will be given a TB test and then go through the necessary steps. That way if the doctors need to wait for cultures, the family isn't waiting to travel but maybe still waiting for their court date and if a child needs treatment then that can be started before a family passes court so they aren't that much more delayed.
I fully realize that I am being selfish. I am trying to find my happy place. I mean I really am trying. I realize that this may all turn out fine and we won't get delayed or we will be delayed. The fact that no one has the answer to that question is frustrating.
When they tell you that International Adoption is not for the faint of heart, they mean it. This is tough. The toughest thing I have ever done and I am not sure it is any easier now that I can stare at my daughter's face on the mantel. Seeing that tiny little face makes my heart melt and being unsure of when we might be able to united with her makes my heart break.
On the plus side, 18 days until our court date.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A couple random updates
Preschool: I appreciate everyone's advice. A friend of the family gave me a lot of helpful info about the preschool we would like Peanut to go to and how we don't register for that until March of the year she is eligible. And we know that if we weren't to make it in to the 3 year program she could just go to preschool at her daycare. They have a curriculum that includes, math, writing, Spanish, art and more so that would be fine too and then we could go for the 4 year old program at the school we would like her to attend the next year. Huge sigh of relief that I can enjoy Peanut being a baby and not have to worry about this just yet.
Adoption Process: We got word today that our approval paperwork has arrived at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa. YEAH! That is a big relief to know that it is there and that we don't have to go tracking it down. Our fingerprints expire on May 2oth so if all goes well we won't need to worry about being back in the country before the expire. However, we can apply for our one time free refingerprinting in March and I plan on doing it. We have to send a letter to our CIS office with a copy of our I-171H form and they will schedule an appointment for us. Hopefully we will be back home with our sweet baby girl before May 20th but since so much is out of our control and unexpected things come up I would rather be safe and do it then delayed and frustrated.
Reading: Not sure why I haven't picked it up until now but today I started reading "There is No Me Without You" by Melissa Faye Green. I am really just trying to process it all. I literally just picked it up a few hours ago and have read 100 pages so far. It has made me think and long to see with my own eyes the place of my child's birth. I long to do more, to do my part yet I don't know what that looks like right now. I am anxious to keep reading and learning. I am curious what my heart will tell me. Maybe sponsor a child...not sure. More thinking to do here.
Adoption Process: We got word today that our approval paperwork has arrived at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa. YEAH! That is a big relief to know that it is there and that we don't have to go tracking it down. Our fingerprints expire on May 2oth so if all goes well we won't need to worry about being back in the country before the expire. However, we can apply for our one time free refingerprinting in March and I plan on doing it. We have to send a letter to our CIS office with a copy of our I-171H form and they will schedule an appointment for us. Hopefully we will be back home with our sweet baby girl before May 20th but since so much is out of our control and unexpected things come up I would rather be safe and do it then delayed and frustrated.
Reading: Not sure why I haven't picked it up until now but today I started reading "There is No Me Without You" by Melissa Faye Green. I am really just trying to process it all. I literally just picked it up a few hours ago and have read 100 pages so far. It has made me think and long to see with my own eyes the place of my child's birth. I long to do more, to do my part yet I don't know what that looks like right now. I am anxious to keep reading and learning. I am curious what my heart will tell me. Maybe sponsor a child...not sure. More thinking to do here.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Wow...
That really is the only word I can use to describe the last year. So much has happened and so much more will happen. The journey through the adoption process has definitely not been easy but I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, Ethiopia, international adoption, ethics,patience, friendship, blogging and so much more.
I know I have said this before but I never dreamed how much my life would change forever when we started this process. I had no idea that not only would a daughter be joining my family but that I would be fortunate enough to meet some amazing and inspiring people.
The people that just get it. The ones we can sit and have coffee with for 3 hours ( I did that with this person this weekend.) The ones that understand the guilty feelings, the why is this happening, the frustration, the lack of answers, the fact that we may never have all the answers. The people who get adoption and especially international adoption and want to talk about the process, ethics, the country, the culture, how to be a good parent in a transracial home, how to make sure our children know who they are.
The people that have been there and done that or are going through the journey with you. Sure, I will admit when I started this blog, I became a blog stalker. I found blogs for other people with our agency that had dossier dates close to ours and just started reading. From there I found other blogs and wow I have learned a great deal as a result.
The best advice someone once posted on the forum was to not do this alone. To find people close to you on the list and start dealing with the wait, the anxiety, the guilt and all the other emotions that come with international adoption together. I am so glad that I took that advice and now I have these amazing women in my life that sit and have coffee with me, respond to my panicky emails, will be (hopefully) my travel buddy, let me know my daughter sucks her thumb and just offer a hug even if it is virtual when I am having or had a bad day or celebrate my joy with me. I will be eternally grateful to all of these people and hope to pay it forward when I can.
In Peanut news: Well not much new. We have confidence that she is doing well and that she has a full head of soft, curly hair. We also just learned that she has quite the set of lungs on her and if she needs to cry that rest assured we will hear her. I can't wait to meet this sweet little girl and hear that cry for myself. Other than that we are just waiting (again). I do have some more paperwork to do that I haven't really looked at yet but not much else until our court date.
I know I have said this before but I never dreamed how much my life would change forever when we started this process. I had no idea that not only would a daughter be joining my family but that I would be fortunate enough to meet some amazing and inspiring people.
The people that just get it. The ones we can sit and have coffee with for 3 hours ( I did that with this person this weekend.) The ones that understand the guilty feelings, the why is this happening, the frustration, the lack of answers, the fact that we may never have all the answers. The people who get adoption and especially international adoption and want to talk about the process, ethics, the country, the culture, how to be a good parent in a transracial home, how to make sure our children know who they are.
The people that have been there and done that or are going through the journey with you. Sure, I will admit when I started this blog, I became a blog stalker. I found blogs for other people with our agency that had dossier dates close to ours and just started reading. From there I found other blogs and wow I have learned a great deal as a result.
The best advice someone once posted on the forum was to not do this alone. To find people close to you on the list and start dealing with the wait, the anxiety, the guilt and all the other emotions that come with international adoption together. I am so glad that I took that advice and now I have these amazing women in my life that sit and have coffee with me, respond to my panicky emails, will be (hopefully) my travel buddy, let me know my daughter sucks her thumb and just offer a hug even if it is virtual when I am having or had a bad day or celebrate my joy with me. I will be eternally grateful to all of these people and hope to pay it forward when I can.
In Peanut news: Well not much new. We have confidence that she is doing well and that she has a full head of soft, curly hair. We also just learned that she has quite the set of lungs on her and if she needs to cry that rest assured we will hear her. I can't wait to meet this sweet little girl and hear that cry for myself. Other than that we are just waiting (again). I do have some more paperwork to do that I haven't really looked at yet but not much else until our court date.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Can we say 3 weeks???
It occurred to me today that we are 3 weeks away from our 12 months of waiting date. 3 weeks??? Can we say starting to freak out a little???? (okay A LOT)
I haven't heard from my specialist in awhile but at last word she had said that the trend was for people to get the call sometime in their 11th month of waiting whether it be 11 months and 1 day or 11 months and 29 days is impossible to predict. I have seen families get the call mere days before they hit the 12 month mark and others who got the call a few weeks before they hit 12 months.
Holy Moly! I can't think of anything else right now but my phone ringing. I have officially lost it. I am certifiable for sure. I want that phone to ring so badly and then in the back of my head I keep hearing what if it doesn't. I know crazy but International Adoption is crazy and anything could happen.
While I try to remain calm, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! May 2009 be all that you hope and want it to be. I am sure hoping that 2009 will be one of the greatest years of my life. I could use an awesome year. 2007 was a TERRIBLE year and 2008 was average at best. I am so grateful to all my family and friends for sticking with us through these last two years as rough as they may have been at times. 2009 sure looks to be the year for us and our new family. Fingers crossed for all my buddies at the top of the list may we be so blessed to hear our phone ringing soon from the 651 area code!
EDIT: No sooner did I post this that I got an email from my specialist. She said they are up to dossier dates of 1/10/08 (we are 1/22/08) and that she is pretty hopeful that we won't hit 12 months of waiting. Pretty was her word not mine and she unfortunately gave no hints as to when it might happen but soon. Okay--now I am crying, happy tears of course. I told you I was a mess :)
I haven't heard from my specialist in awhile but at last word she had said that the trend was for people to get the call sometime in their 11th month of waiting whether it be 11 months and 1 day or 11 months and 29 days is impossible to predict. I have seen families get the call mere days before they hit the 12 month mark and others who got the call a few weeks before they hit 12 months.
Holy Moly! I can't think of anything else right now but my phone ringing. I have officially lost it. I am certifiable for sure. I want that phone to ring so badly and then in the back of my head I keep hearing what if it doesn't. I know crazy but International Adoption is crazy and anything could happen.
While I try to remain calm, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! May 2009 be all that you hope and want it to be. I am sure hoping that 2009 will be one of the greatest years of my life. I could use an awesome year. 2007 was a TERRIBLE year and 2008 was average at best. I am so grateful to all my family and friends for sticking with us through these last two years as rough as they may have been at times. 2009 sure looks to be the year for us and our new family. Fingers crossed for all my buddies at the top of the list may we be so blessed to hear our phone ringing soon from the 651 area code!
EDIT: No sooner did I post this that I got an email from my specialist. She said they are up to dossier dates of 1/10/08 (we are 1/22/08) and that she is pretty hopeful that we won't hit 12 months of waiting. Pretty was her word not mine and she unfortunately gave no hints as to when it might happen but soon. Okay--now I am crying, happy tears of course. I told you I was a mess :)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
And then....
So I have been getting some questions about where we are and what happens next so I thought I would try to briefly summarize what exactly we are waiting for and then what happens after that.
We are still #8 on the unofficial list (bring on 2009!!!) and we are waiting for a phone call. This will be a call from our specialist letting us know we have been matched with a baby. She will tell us over the phone some basic info and email us a referral packet that has the same info. Thank goodness for email as I will be jumping up and down and crying so I don't think I would be the best listener. We then have 1 week to decide if we would like to accept the referral.
To break that down. Our specialist is going to call me as I am more readily accessible by phone though she does have our home #, my cell #, my work #, Dave's cell # and Dave's work # just in case. Depending on what time she calls it will depend on how we handle it. If we are lucky and it is my day off and before Dave leaves for work we will both take the call but that is unlikely. So I am expecting to take the call and then call Dave and we can open the email together and see a picture of our beautiful peanut. (As to why we don't conference call, Dave doesn't have an office and is in a VERY open environment with ZERO privacy so it would a lot to handle in front of co-workers, boss, etc).
I then have a list of other people to call which includes family and some dear friends. I have a feeling a lot of my day will be spent on the phone and staring at a picture. These calls are going to take a big leap of faith for me. I have had my heart broken while on this adoption journey but I am telling myself this is different. Something always felt off before, this time it doesn't. God called us to adopt from Ethiopia and in God I must trust. I will celebrate that call with everything I have in me all the while saying prayers for peanut to be healthy and the process to go smoothly. And if you thought I was a basket case before the call, I have a feeling it is only going to get worse but in a good way if that makes sense.
After we get the call, I will email the International Adoption Clinic with our referral packet for medical review. This is just a formality and not a necessity. We don't have any doubt that when we get that call that God was involved. We were supposed to be matched with this child no matter what the test results show but are getting the info reviewed so we know what to look for if anything. From there we officially accept the referral and wait some more for a court date. Court dates are about 2-3 months after referral or so it seems and then birth certificates seem to be taking about 2-3 weeks and then travel 2-3 weeks after that. The timeline says about 12-16 weeks from referral until travel but I think it will be closer to 16 weeks.
Until we pass court I cannot post pictures or names on this blog as the baby is not legally ours yet. I can share pictures privately with family and close friends and trust me the day we pass court a picture will be front and center on this blog. As for a name, that discussion is on hold. We are waiting to see what name was given to our peanut and by whom.
As always, my prayers and thoughts are with you peanut and those looking after you. We are ready for 2009 and more than ready to see your beautiful face.
We are still #8 on the unofficial list (bring on 2009!!!) and we are waiting for a phone call. This will be a call from our specialist letting us know we have been matched with a baby. She will tell us over the phone some basic info and email us a referral packet that has the same info. Thank goodness for email as I will be jumping up and down and crying so I don't think I would be the best listener. We then have 1 week to decide if we would like to accept the referral.
To break that down. Our specialist is going to call me as I am more readily accessible by phone though she does have our home #, my cell #, my work #, Dave's cell # and Dave's work # just in case. Depending on what time she calls it will depend on how we handle it. If we are lucky and it is my day off and before Dave leaves for work we will both take the call but that is unlikely. So I am expecting to take the call and then call Dave and we can open the email together and see a picture of our beautiful peanut. (As to why we don't conference call, Dave doesn't have an office and is in a VERY open environment with ZERO privacy so it would a lot to handle in front of co-workers, boss, etc).
I then have a list of other people to call which includes family and some dear friends. I have a feeling a lot of my day will be spent on the phone and staring at a picture. These calls are going to take a big leap of faith for me. I have had my heart broken while on this adoption journey but I am telling myself this is different. Something always felt off before, this time it doesn't. God called us to adopt from Ethiopia and in God I must trust. I will celebrate that call with everything I have in me all the while saying prayers for peanut to be healthy and the process to go smoothly. And if you thought I was a basket case before the call, I have a feeling it is only going to get worse but in a good way if that makes sense.
After we get the call, I will email the International Adoption Clinic with our referral packet for medical review. This is just a formality and not a necessity. We don't have any doubt that when we get that call that God was involved. We were supposed to be matched with this child no matter what the test results show but are getting the info reviewed so we know what to look for if anything. From there we officially accept the referral and wait some more for a court date. Court dates are about 2-3 months after referral or so it seems and then birth certificates seem to be taking about 2-3 weeks and then travel 2-3 weeks after that. The timeline says about 12-16 weeks from referral until travel but I think it will be closer to 16 weeks.
Until we pass court I cannot post pictures or names on this blog as the baby is not legally ours yet. I can share pictures privately with family and close friends and trust me the day we pass court a picture will be front and center on this blog. As for a name, that discussion is on hold. We are waiting to see what name was given to our peanut and by whom.
As always, my prayers and thoughts are with you peanut and those looking after you. We are ready for 2009 and more than ready to see your beautiful face.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I have come a long way..I think
I decided today to go back and read the first few posts that I made on this blog. While they were fine, I do think I have come a long way in my own process. Back then, I was worried about getting sick, what to name peanut, moving up the list, travel, in essence the basics of international adoption.
Then someone posted this article on the forum and it rang so true. Here is the link:
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/11/child-or-adopted-child-please-check-one/?hp
"For the first few months, I felt compelled to explain myself to everyone — even to strangers. I felt like an impostor, an interloper into motherhood. I remember thinking that some day it wouldn’t matter any more, that I’d forget I was an adoptive mother and come to be just like everybody else."
I totally get this statement as I think this is where I was even when we had the twins, I felt like an impostor for sure. But after almost 11 months of waiting this where I am.
"adoption still matters. It’s not either/or. I am an adoptive mother. I am a real mother. I am not my child's only mother, but I am their mommy, and they are my child. My adopted child."
I feel like now when I read my posts they are more introspective. I have come to look at the whole journey and the big picture. The sadness that must happen for me to experience the joy of parenthood. I have realized there is much more depth behind what we are doing. It is not so much a means to a end but a whole life transition. We are forever adding Ethiopia, its people, and its culture to our lives. That I knew in my head but not in my heart.
My head always knew what this process would and could mean and I think my heart has finally caught up. I really get that what we are doing is a huge deal. A comment on this blog by a very wise woman, told me that I need to be here, emotionally, to really be ready for what is about to happen. I am here. I am ready.
I have always said that I am more than ready to be a mom and while I still believe that I am not sure I was fully ready for the commitment it will mean to be an adoptive mom of a baby born in Ethiopia. I really think I am now. I am ready to be the best mom I can be. I am ready to fully commit to my child, their culture, and their country. It is my responsibility to do that. I am not sure I really understood that when we first started. I have come to learn that and I am grateful that I have learned it.
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