Travel schedule

6 DAYS!!! I am just about ready to zip up those suitcases!!! So excited :) Can't wait :) Need to breath :) Need to sleep :)

Okay so a few people have inquired about what our schedule looks like while we are in Ethiopia so here it is.

Leave US on Wednesday
Arrive in Ethiopia on Thursday evening. Our agency has their own guest house so we will stay there and have most of our meals there also.

Friday: Orientation and MEET PEANUT for the first time. We cannot tape this meeting but our agency does for us. We then have to leave for a little bit but get to come back and hang out with Peanut.

Saturday: Visit to the care center and observe the nannies and learn Peanut's routine. In the afternoon we go on a shopping trip and then that evening we go to a traditional Ethiopian dinner and show.

Sunday: Mother's Day!! We leave very early for our trip to Hossana in the southern region. We hope to meet Peanut's birth family and visit the intake center where Peanut spent her first few weeks. Whew--talk about emotional day. We don't get to see Peanut that day.

Monday: In the morning we go to care center to hang out with Peanut some more. In the afternoon we go to a museum and some other sights. We get to visit AHOPE which is where the gloves I have collected will be donated. We will also get to tour CHSFS Ethiopia facilities.

Tuesday: In the morning we will enjoy a special going away celebration with the nannies. We then take custody of Peanut and have an Embassy appointment in the afternoon.

Wednesday: Free day to hang out at the guest house with Peanut and the other 8 families in our group. Possible extra shopping trip :) There is also a hair braiding class in the afternoon.

Thursday: There will be an Ethiopian cooking class in the morning. The rest of the day will be spent packing and getting ready to leave that evening.

Friday: Arrive home with our little girl!

Others have asked for a packing list so stay tuned. I will post that tomorrow. For now it is back to cleaning the house and loving on my sweet pugs.

Peanut is 5 months old!!!

My little girl is 5 months old today! I wonder what she is doing? Sleeping, eating, playing, sucking her thumb....

All I know is that I get to see her with my own two eyes next week. WE LEAVE IN 7 DAYS!!! Hang on baby girl, your mom and dad are finally almost there. I pinch myself daily to make sure this is all real and say lots of prayers.

Just thinking about her and our trip brings tears to my eyes. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and kiss the cutest cheeks I have ever seen. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I could be so in love with a baby I haven't met. She is part of my every breath and thought. She is with me always and soon she will be with me physically. FOREVER!

I am going to actually have the family I have always dreamed of. I am over the moon excited to see this dream come true. Okay, I had to pinch myself again to make sure this is all really happening. We are so close. Close to being united with our beautiful daughter. There is no greater gift to be had.

Last travel related shopping trip?

I am hoping that today was my last travel related shopping trip. I found a great pair of sandals to bring on the trip so I am SUPER excited. I found my map that we will hopefully be able to give members of Peanut's birth family. I really think I have everything else. Fingers crossed that when I start checking things off on the list, we have it all. I really think we do. Wow.

After all these little odds and ends were purchased, I headed over to the baby food aisle. You see for some crazy reason I missed the info that Peanut starting eating cereal 1 time a day in Ethiopia a month ago. She also gets orange juice once a day in the afternoon. I had the info but I guess in all the excitement I didn't retain that piece of info. I bought a box of rice cereal.

Wasn't really thinking solid foods until today. I have the bottle thing down. I have been there done that times 2. I was ready for that. I am not ready for solids. There is going to be a learning curve here. I am however not bringing cereal to Ethiopia. If we find we need some I will buy some there and then get some to bring home to ease the transition. You see the cereal Miss Peanut is eating right now is sweetened. Rice cereal is not. Hence the potential problem. I have heard from other adoptive moms that mixing cereal with baby food, fruits preferably, usually work. We shall find out...

We also got our room assignment yesterday at the guest house. We are upstairs in the main guest house, the one they serve the meals at. We have our own bathroom which is nice. Based on previous travelers review, our room is small and has character. Can't wait to see it, we will just have to make sure we don't lock ourselves in and be nice to the 'ghost'.

9 days

That's right we have officially hit the single digits. WE LEAVE IN 9 DAYS!!!!!

My to do list is starting to get smaller. Dave laughed at me yesterday as I was cleaning out the spice cabinet. Way over due on that one so since I am in full nesting/cleaning mode I figured why not.

We were able to cross moving the wine rack to the basement off the list this weekend which was good as that was bugging me. We have this nice wine rack that holds glassware as well but is so not child friendly so I wanted it moved to the basement before we left.

As for packing, I don't know what I would do without space saver bags. The only person in the family that is fully packed is Peanut. Wow, I like the sound of that.

I am working on packing Dave and I but some things we may still wear so can't pack those yet. My latest issues is shoes. If you know me, then you know that I LOVE shoes and I HATE socks. I know things will be dusty in Ethiopia but also warm during the day and chillier in the morning and evening. I have packed flip flops for the shower and am thinking I will pack another pair of shoes and then obviously wear a pair so three pairs total. That is pretty good for me. I can pack 2 pairs of shoes just for a weekend away. I just don't know what shoes to pack. Something comfy, easy to get on and off, breathable, cute...this is going to be a work in progress.

Exciting that I am to the point where I am thinking about what shoes to pack!!! I have all our paperwork done and ready to go and in my carry on. I have 2 suitcases full of donations that are packed, weighed and ready to go.

I still can't believe this is all happening. I am going to Ethiopia and I am coming home with my daughter. I think about this and smile. I even started to tear up in the grocery store when buying yogurt. I was looking at the expiration dates and figuring out which ones I had to eat before we leave. That little thing brought tears to my eyes. That was most likely my last grocery shopping experience without my daughter in tow. HOLY COW!!!

Fingers crossed and say prays please for a dear friend whose court date is today and for another friend who now has court on Friday. Off to run errands for the dogs--I still need to get them packed up and ready for their little vacation.

Leaving the bubble

I am very blessed. I am married to a wonderful man, have a beautiful daughter, tremendously supportive family and great friends. We live in a nice neighborhood with a park near by and are fortunate enough to own our own home. I live in a bubble. I have most of my life only to step out briefly when volunteering at shelters or working in the Tenderloin.

I am 12 days away from leaving my bubble and I couldn't be more thrilled. Not only do I get to meet my daughter and bring her home, but I am blessed to be able to spend time in the country of her birth. To walk the streets that her family may have walked, to be in a place where I stand out. I won't have my bubble, my comfort zone.

I think we should all walk outside our bubble at some point in our lives. We need to see with our own eyes the reality that is this world we live in. I am so grateful that I get to see this. I am going to a place that I never dreamed I would go and looking back I feel I was naive. Who wouldn't want to go to Ethiopia, it is beautiful and the people are beautiful inside and out.

I know I cannot really prepare myself for what I will experience. There will be an overwhelming amount of emotion. The joy of my daughter, the sadness and loss for her birth family, the pleasure of meeting new families, the reality of life on the streets, the smiles on the faces of children with HIV... It will be emotionally draining of that I have no doubt.

What will I do with this experience, I don't know. I hope to come back to my bubble with knowledge and a reality check. With the realization that while I feel I am doing something that I could and should be doing more. What does that look like? I don't know yet. I am hoping for Ethiopia to speak to me.

One thing I know for sure is that Ethiopia is part of me and part of my family. I cannot and will not ignore that and I will do what I can to help those that need it in this beautiful country. The country that gave me my daughter. It is the least I can do. I will forever have Ethiopia on my heart and am anxiously awaiting my trip. And while this trip will be long and difficult at times, it is good for me. I need more perspective and need to broaden my horizons if not for me than for my daughter. I want her to see and know how much we love Ethiopia and I want more than anything for her to be proud of where she came from.

Crazy overprotective Mama??

Maybe. But my number one priority is my daughter and because of that I feel like I need to share a little bit of my thoughts on our return to the US.

First off, I ask for friends and family to trust us. We are Peanut's parents and we will know what her limits are and what ours are. We may not know that right away. It is going to take time for us to establish a schedule and a level of comfort. We are very much going to be taking our cues from Peanut. She may be shy or she may be a social butterfly or she may fall somewhere in between. Either way we just ask that you let us figure that out. Please ask us to do things and come over but understand if we say no or come for a little while and then have to leave. Also be prepared for Dave and I to be wearing Peanut a lot. We have a great baby carrier and we intend to use it to help build attachment.

When it comes to our actual arrival at the airport, I very much want my parents to be there to meet their granddaughter and my in laws will already be there as they are traveling with us. I wouldn't mind a few close friends but my closest friends live out of town so I doubt they are coming. I guess overall a few people is fine but I am not sure I want this huge welcoming party. To be honest part of me does want a lot of people there as I know there are lots of people who have been praying and cheering for us but part of me thinks I may be overwhelmed by it all and more importantly it may be too much for Peanut.

If there is a gathering at the airport or at some later date, please be patient. Not only am I a new Mom but I will have only known my daughter for a short time. It is key that she knows that Dave and I will be there to meet her needs. We will do all of the feeding, bathing, changing, and comforting. That is not to say that others will not be allowed to hold her, they will but it may be limited at first in who can hold and for how long. Attachment is a big issue in adoption and we want to make sure our daughter attaches to us as her parents. So please understand it is not our intention to upset anyone but for awhile we will not be passing Peanut around for everyone to hold.

I have said awhile a few times. I can't put a number on how long it will take until we all feel settled in. It could be weeks, it could be months. It is all about Peanut. She will dictate how long this takes. We want her to be settled and comfortable and that is up to her. We can't rush that. She at such a young age has already experienced a great deal of loss and a lot of change. We need to help her to figure that out and know that she is safe and loved and that we as her parents will always be there.

For you experienced parents out there, know that we may do things differently and you may not understand why. If that is the case just ask us but again trust us and if you feel you must offer an opinion you can but don't be offended if we respectfully don't change what we are doing. You may think we are coddling her or spoiling her and sometimes we might be. She has been through so much and so many caregivers and change. She needs to feel that safety, love and comfort are always near by.

So will I be a crazy overprotective Mama, sometimes yes. Will that change in time, yes. All I am asking for is time to figure it all out and patience that we know what is best for our family even if it doesn't make sense to you right away. We can't wait to share our love and our family with all of you in due time. Thanks for cheering us on and sending us prayers. That has meant a great deal to us.

Loving the countdown

I am in full countdown mode. I am counting down everything. How many days until we leave, how many shifts I have left at work, etc. It's fun.

So here are my favorite things to countdown:

16 days until we get on a plane
18 days until I get to hold my little girl
11 shifts left at work (at least until August that is)
14 weeks the length of my maternity leave
10 days that I will be without my pugs :(
9 days until baby girl is 5 months old

See once I get started counting down things it just never ends. I even have a countdown going for a friend, Kate, who is leaving for Ethiopia today you see she will get to meet her baby girl in 4 days. Then there is my friend, Leah, who has her court date in 7 days.

Other then obsessively counting things, I am in full packing mode. Suitcase are all out and open. Some things are being placed in them, piles are starting to form near them. I haven't packed for a trip like this ever so I am learning as I go especially in this post 9/11 era. So many rules that weren't there before....

And who knew how hard it was to pack for an infant...I think she will have more stuff than I will. I don't know what will fit her so I am bringing various sizes and hopefully enough to get us through if we do have the joy of experiencing multiple blow out diapers.

One of the toughest things about packing is the dogs. They aren't super helpful and I feel bad. They know something is up just not sure what it is. We are trying to give them some extra loving and catch little Badger when he decides that Peanut's things are really his things. He ran off yesterday with a package of pacifiers. Very cute.

Travel plans

Well I have spent the better part of the day on the phone but here is a list of things we can check off of the very long to do list.

1) Buy plane tickets--done :)
2) travel insurance--done:)
3) make reservations to have the dogs boarded--done
4) make Peanut's first doctor's appointment--done
5) schedule first post placement meeting with social worker--done
6)wait for travel approval letter from state of WI--got it
7) finish paperwork needed for embassy appointment--done
8) get Peanut on health insurance--done
9) pack--working on it
10) breathe--trying to
11) eat--oh yeah should probably do that

These next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind of activity. We have to pack, go to Rocketfest (4 yr olds birthday party), go to a wedding and make sure we spend extra time with the pugs since we will be boarding them for 10 days.

I'm back :)

Well my break is officially over. I AM BUYING PLANE TICKETS TODAY!!!! We got the call and the confirmation we have been waiting for. We leave in 19 days!!!!!

3 weeks from today I get to meet my precious little girl for the first time. I get to hold her in my arms and kiss those adorable cheeks of hers. I am going to be a wreck. I just know it and it will all be caught on video but oh well. My dreams are coming true.

This is really happening. I am really going to Ethiopia and coming home with my beautiful daughter. I want to take the whole experience in and cherish every minute of it. This is a trip of a lifetime and if I am so fortunate I will get to spend Mother's Day with some of Peanut's birth family.

Now I really do have to pack. WOW! That one phone call today made my weekend. 19 days baby girl. We will finally be united as a family. I can't wait. Good thing I have lots to do to pass the time...

Nothing....

Well I still don't have plane tickets and I don't have a confirmed travel date. I am not happy about this and don't have a lot of positive things to say.

As a result of my funky mood, I am taking a break from blogging. I will be back once I can buy plane tickets. Until then I will try to enjoy endless hours of Guitar Hero, hugging my pugs and some Fat Elvis ice cream.

Next time I post, I promise it will be good news. So until then enjoy the sunny days...

Gloves, gloves and more gloves

There it is. My suitcase is full of gloves!!! And I weighed the suitcase and it weighs exactly 50lbs :) Thank you to everyone that has helped me reach my goal. I have another bag full of sterile gloves still to pack but overall my goal was to fill a suitcase and thanks to all of my wonderful friends and family, I did just that. Thank you also to those friends who sent money and infant vitamin drops. The money will be used to buy more infant vitamin drops. Along with the gloves and 4 large cans of soy formula, I will be bringing about 26 boxes of infant vitamin drops.

No news on buying plane tickets. We are waiting for Peanut to have her US Embassy physcial and once that is complete we will get definite travel plans. My specialist is extremely optimistic (her words) that we are traveling in the May 7th group so leaving the US on May 6th.

Her confidence spurred me to go to the basement and get the suitcases and then I packed the gloves. I haven't packed anything else yet but am just about ready to. Peanut's stuff is ready to go as in it is all laid out and just needs to be put in a suitcase.

I am hoping we hear soon about definite travel plans and then I will be more motivated to start packing other things. It was a big step for me to just get those suitcases out of the basement. I have been in a pretty bad mood but I figured I am traveling at some point so I will still have to pack eventually so why not start now.

Waiting, nesting, waiting, grumpy, waiting, more grumpy

I have said this before but I am not a patient person. All in all I feel for me I have done pretty well with waiting for our daughter. I definitely had some bumps in the road but eventually got to a zen place. Well, whatever semblance of patience I had left is gone.

We are still waiting for official approval to buy our plane tickets. I know it hasn't been that long, less than 3 business days but still I am ready. I am done waiting and done nesting and now just plain grumpy.

I don't want to be grumpy and I am trying really hard not to be grumpy but it isn't working. I still have some projects that need to be done around the house so I am trying to get to those but lack motivation. I am having the carpets cleaned today and then it is off to Target for some last minute items we need for travel. I do have a 4lb roast in the slow cooker for shredded taco meat so dinner is cooking and I will have lots of leftover to freeze.

I keep checking my email and telling myself that I will not bug my specialist again today. Did that twice yesterday. She will tell me as soon as she knows. So it is back to waiting, nesting, waiting and trying really hard not to be grumpy. I mean really I am weeks away from my dreams coming true so waiting a couple days to buy plane tickets shouldn't get to me. I realize this but it doesn't make it any easier.

Leaving on a jet plane??

We found out today that we got our birth certificate and we have a tentative travel date of May 7th!!! OMG!!! We could be leaving in less than one month.

We should know soon if this travel date will be confirmed. I am still reeling. I can't believe this is all happening. I am less than one month away from finally meeting my daughter. If this date sticks, I will be in Ethiopia on Mother's Day. I could possibly meet Peanut's birth mother on Mother's Day. Wow....I think I need to process that a little. I won't get to be with Peanut that day due to the trip to meet birth families but she is already in my heart so even though I won't get to hold her that day; she will be with me.

The best part about getting the birth certificate is that there was another little picture of Peanut. Her cheeks are even chubbier now than they were before!! And I predicted long ago that our last name would be spelled wrong and it wasn't :) Just goes to show you, that you can't predict anything in the world of adoption.

Guess I really need to get those suitcases out and really start packing. I think I have to stop crying first. I am preparing for the trip of a lifetime. I have waited so many long months for this day to come and I still can't believe this is all happening. Baby girl we are almost there. I can't wait to hold you in my arms and kiss those adorable cheeks of yours.

Busy, busy

Since today was my day off, I decided to run some errands. I started my day with a stop at a local coffee shop for my favorite Iced Americano. I was going to need it as my next stop was Target.

I had my coffee and my list and spent a little over an hour in Target crossing things off my list. The good news is I got just about everything on the list plus some. I still can't find Huggies overnight diapers in a size smaller than 3. I am going to look online for these but who knows maybe they don't come in smaller sizes.

I am ready to pack. I really think I am. I have all the little travel things we need for our carry on bags that are travel approved. We get 1 quart size ziploc bag per carry on and no liquid in that bag can be more than 3 oz. I bought the containers to fill or things we would need to meet those requirements.

We have our travel wallets, pillows and snacks. We have our donations, baby needs and clothes. I haven't actually pulled out our clothes yet but that won't take too long but Miss Peanut's clothes are ready to go.

I also contacted the travel agent today to price things out. As of now we will probably fly NW/KLM as it is cheaper than ET Air and the schedule is a little better.

So come on birth certificate and travel date. I am ready to go.

So much to do...

I am still floating up on a cloud right now. April 3rd will go down as one of the best days of my life only to be replaced by the date that I actually get to hold my daughter in my arms. This has been a long 6 years. I finally feel like my dream of motherhood is coming true. We wouldn't be here right now had we not lived in the heartache, sorrow and roller coaster that was the last 6 plus years. I look at my daughter's face and I know it was all worth it. It doesn't take away the pain of the previous years but I know this is what is meant to be. We are meant to be with her and she with us.

Our road to parenthood was broken but also blessed by God. We truly are blessed. We have a beautiful daughter that we are in awe of and all of this waiting and tears makes total sense. Peanut is our daughter. This is what is meant to be. The stars have aligned and God has brought us our daughter.

I am trying to keep myself busy and trust me I still have a ton of stuff to do to get ready for the trip of a lifetime. We could be leaving in a month. Wow. Today so far I have cleaned out the pantry and now Peanut has a shelf all to herself. There is only a couple cans of formula on it right now but in time that will change.

I am about to throw some Beef Burgundy in the oven and then tackle wiping down all of the shelves in the refrigerator oh and starting some laundry. I am back to full nesting mode. I took a break after our referral and let things slide so I am back to checking things off my list. I also have a HUGE shopping list for tomorrow with things we actually need for the trip. Travel stuff mostly and a few things for Peanut.

WE MADE IT!

WE PASSED COURT!!!!! I am officially the mother to this beautiful baby girl. May I present to you the fabulous Miss Peanut. For privacy reasons we aren't revealing her name on my blog. But I can tell you her first name means "sweet face" and it is a name Dave and I picked for her. Her middle name is her birth name and it means "most beautiful one" and her second middle name is the same as my mom's and mine. This first picture is her referral picture. Isn't she precious?


This is may very favorite picture of her from the social report. You can see the love the nanny has for her. She has such a sweet face.

Tummy time in action :)

Now we wait for a birth certificate that lists us as her parents. Once we get that we are leaving on a jet plane to bring this sweet baby girl home. Hopefully we will have a birth certificate in the next 1-2weeks and then we can travel 2 or so weeks after that. This a very exciting time :) Is it too early in the day for champagne.

More good news

No we didn't pass court early but we are only 2 days away!!!

We got another growth update on Peanut! She gained over 2 lbs in the last month and now weighs in at just over 10 1/2 lbs. I am so excited!! She is starting to catch up at the pace the doctor likes to see. She is still tiny and only on the WHO charts for head circumference but her rate of growth overall has been tremendous and couple that with her reaching developmental milestones of average 4 month olds and we have one awesome little girl. I am so proud of her for figuring out how to drink from that cup and start packing on the pounds.

Other than that I am still staring at her beautiful face and realizing that this is all starting to happen. We could be on a plane in a little over a month or possibly less. WOW! I still have a lot to do but for now I am going to try not to stress out about our court date and enjoy the good news that has already come to me this week and hope and pray for more good news on Friday.

Here is a poem that sums things up really well. I saw this on a friends blog and cried when I read it as I do kiss her sweet face each night.

Kisses In The Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are...what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin.
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May Gold hold you in his hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

May God wrap you in his arms and hold you very tight,
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.