So in love...

Kiya is 9 months old today and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine being so in love. She is amazing and beautiful and silly and perfect. I am truly blessed and honored to be her mother.

I am convinced there is no greater feeling than being a Mom. I didn't really comprehend that until I was actually a Mom. To see the growth and progress, the smiles, the laughs just melts my heart in a way I wasn't ready for. It at times has brought tears to my eyes.

Kiya's presence has filled a void in my heart. I knew for many years that something was missing and thanks to the absolute love of a woman 7000 miles away I have a lovely and sweet little girl.

On days like today I think a lot about Zinash. What is she doing? Is she still grieving? Will I be able to accurately tell Kiya just how much she loved her? Will I be able to hug her and see her again?

The bond I have with Zinash was something I am not sure I was ready for either. To have met her on Mother's Day and to feel that connection instantly was completely overwhelming. I am not 100% sure I have truly processed that yet. I will never forget the hugs and tears we shared and the love that was so obvious and so present. She in short is my hero. She was braver and stronger than I ever could have been. I love this woman and she will always have a place in my heart and in my family.

I wish there was some way I could tell her and show her just how amazing Kiya is. We will write post placement reports for the next 18 years and they will be sent to Ethiopia where Zinash can go and see them if she chooses but will she? I don't know and I will never know and that is a little sad yet I understand if she needs to not see them as well.

I know this post is a little unfocused but it is the ramblings of me and what I am processing right now. At this moment I am truly amazed at the love I feel for Kiya and for Zinash. No book or DVD or pre-adoption workshop can prepare you for the feelings that come after the fact. I had to live it and breathe it all in to finally start to grasp it all. It is a lot to take in and a lot to handle. Do I fully understand the scope of this adoption, of my love for Kiya and Zinash and of how things will be in the future? No, I for sure don't have all the answers but I am processing. I will always be processing.

Meanwhile I am so in love with my little girl and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Wordless Wednesday

The fabulous weekend adventures of Kiya

Kiya had a very busy weekend. Here is a recap :)

Saturday:

--Went to State Street for a little stroll. Had lunch (well mom and dad) at Dotty Dumplings (best burgers in Madison) and then Babcock ice cream.

--After her nap, went to the park for the first time and swung on a swing. She LOVED it.

--Showed off for Mom and Dad, her new ability to clap. She is just so cute and very proud of herself.

Sunday:

--Went to CornFest :)

--Attended the first birthday party for her friend Mia. I promise I will post pictures of Princess Mia and the Fabulous Kiya. They are so cute together and their names rhyme :)

--She decided it was time to actually sit up in the bath tub instead of just lounging. She was splashing the water with her hands and grabbing her toys. Usually she would just chill, kick the water and try to grab the wash cloth.

--Again decided to impress Mom and Dad with a new skill. She grabbed her bottle and actually got the nipple in her mouth and drank. She has been able to grab and hold her bottle for awhile but usually would just play with it and didn't quite have the aim to her mouth down pat. Well now she does. :)

We are more and more amazed by Kiya every day. She is really working things out. You can almost see the little wheels spinning in her head. It is just such a neat feeling. She is still trying to figure out the crawling thing but she will get there and soon probably. Better start baby proofing. In the mean time she loves to scoot :)

I have recently gone on quite the shopping spree for Miss Kiya as well. You see she is still a tad on the small size for her age but she has these long legs which are chubby and just wonderful. Well those legs are pushing her out of 6-9 month cloths and right into 12 month. WOW. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find non-flannel pajamas in WI in August in 12 month size? Next to impossible.

As I was shopping and looking at clothes for her it hit me. My little girl is no longer a newborn in the eyes of fashion anymore. She is a big girl. Her pajamas don't come in packs of three anymore and the clothing choices are less baby cute and more little girl cute. It is fabulous and sad all at the same time. Fabulous because she is thriving and growing and sad because it is all happening so fast. 3 months ago she could still wear 0-3 month clothes....

Plumpy Nut and a way to help

If you have a second please read this:

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1915544,00.html

Now if you have read this and seen the pictures and want to help you can. Some amazing women are running in the Ironman. There is a charity challenge attached to this and they are raising money for Doctor's Without Borders to provide families with Plumy Nut to feed their children in Ethiopia.

For $40 a 6 week supply of Plumpy'Nut can be provided to a family for a child. That supply can be used at home - with the child in the care of the family - and a child can literally be rescued from the grip of serious malnutrition. ( I have quoted another adoptive mom here as she said it so well)

Why is this important? Well Kiya was born in Southern Ethiopia, one region being hard hit by drought and famine. Part of my heart will always belong to Ethiopia and it is my duty as a mom of an Ethiopian child to spread the word and do all that I can to help.

Will you help me?

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=296288&supID=246858948

All donations go directly to Doctor's Without Borders and are tax deductible.

Wordless Wednesday--my first one :)

Home for 3 months and the honeymoon isn't over yet

Can you believe it?? We have been home for 3 months. It is still just as sweet and just as perfect as it was the first day. We are so in love with the Fabulous Miss Kiya. She is amazing, beautiful, funny, independent, curious, wonderful, sweet...I could go on and on but you get the point.

We really couldn't have been blessed with a more perfect little girl for our family. It is amazing how this all worked out. Sure we waited for longer than we thought we would but every second of that wait while hard was 100% worth it. Without that wait we wouldn't have met Kiya and that is just unimaginable.

Kiya is doing well considering she is sick. Last night we watched her scoot on the floor. She doesn't crawl but while sitting she will rock back and forth and inch her butt forward. It is so cute and she has this huge smile on her face while she is doing it. You can tell she is so proud of herself.

As we get ready to proceed with our process for Little Man, we are facing a much longer wait and I need to remember that it really is all worth it. Our son will find us just as Kiya did and it will be amazing.

I have been inducted to the "I took my kid to the ER in the middle of the night" club

Yes, it is true. We took Kiya to the ER last night. It was about 10pm and she was sleeping but making these weird moaning noises. I went to see what was going on and she was all tensed up and shivering.

Dave came up and at first we thought she was just dreaming but my Mommy instinct just knew something was wrong. Her unusual behavior continued so Dave picked her up and she proceeded to vomit all over him twice. We noticed she was burning up and still shivering and pretty rigid. We took her temperature and she definitely had a fever and the shivering was continuing.

We new parents were at a loss. We got her dressed and off we went to the new ER in our city that just opened this summer. Thank God otherwise we would have had a 20 minute car ride to get there. By the time we got to the ER, Kiya had stopped shivering but was still really warm.

Well 30 minutes later we were walking out with a prescription for antibiotics and an ear infection diagnosis. She has had an ear infection before but she had never acted like this before. It was kind of scary but we are relieved that it was just an ear infection.

On the plus side, we learned that Kiya now weighs in at 17.3 lbs :)

Adjusting...

Well we are about 1 week into our new routine and so far so good. Kiya is just such a fabulous little girl and her personality is shining through more and more each day. We have come to realize that she lately wants to be very independent. She likes to hold onto a spoon and help feed herself. She likes to push the bottle out of her mouth with her hands, because she can. She likes to blow bubbles in her bottle and smile at you and my personal favorite is the blowing food out of her mouth. Tons of fun to change clothes multiple times in a day.

I have survived my first week back at work. Daddy is doing a good job of getting up in the morning and even combing Kiya's hair. Kiya is having fun with grandma and grandpa and at daycare.

The toughest part about going back to work is missing my baby girl. We had a routine. It was our thing. She seems fine while this Mama misses how things were. I think it would help if I was busy at work all day or if I actually liked what I do but since neither of those things are true it makes it harder.

We have our afternoons which is great but she is such the morning baby. So smiley and funny in the mornings and tends to be a little crabby in the afternoons and then silly again before bedtime. She just loves to laugh. It is really cute.

So when people ask me how things are going now that I am back to work full time-- I am adjusting.

PS--I am blogging from work that is how bored I am....

Little Man update

So we turned in our application and as I posted we were told that we were going to have to wait until Kiya is home 6 months to continue. Well we got a glimmer of hope last week that we might not have to wait after all.

We got an email and our application part 2 packet in the mail so we were excited to think that we were moving forward with the paperchase. Then the call came last Friday, that nope we are in fact in a holding pattern until November. Oh well....

Could we push it? Maybe. Would it work? Probably not. Could we switch agencies? Yup. Are we going to? Nope. We picked CHSFS for a reason. We trust them. It is a good fit for our family. It may not be a good fit for other families but for us it works. Will we pay more and wait longer? Maybe. But in the end it isn't about how long you wait but how ethical is your agency. In fact I get a little suspicious of agencies that pop up with just a few months to referral. Sure it could just be that they are a new agency, totally ethically and just don't have a lot of families waiting yet. Or maybe it isn't....

Also, the time spent finding another agency and learning their system may make these extra months not worth it. Our local social worker is also very familiar with the requirements for CHSFS so we know that their won't be a delay there either.

So Little Man's paper chase will pick up again in September.

Blog Union, New Friends and Lots of Kiya first's

We spent the weekend in Chicago with a bunch of other blogging families with children from Ethiopia. It was so great. I got to meet a few bloggers that I have followed for awhile and I met a whole bunch of other really cool bloggers. You will see that my Blog List on the right has gotten a tad longer. :)

Kiya did pretty well over the course of the weekend. She had some trouble with dinner out in loud restaurants, crowds, etc. Thank goodness for the Ergo.

We got to experience lots of Kiya firsts this weekend that are documented in these adorable photos.

Kiya LOVES to lick thinks so this is me trying to prevent Kiya from licking the table at The Cheesecake Factory. Good times...

Kiya made her first trip to the American Girl store :)

Here she is all dressed up for dinner at her first Ethiopian restaurant in a dress we bought her in Ethiopia.

Here she is playing with her Uncle Andy.

Hanging out at 5 Guys Burgers :)

Looking cute after I put her head scarf on :)
Playing with her new best friend a full length mirror

Hanging at the hotel pool with Mom. She LOVED the pool and the big beach balls that were in it. We are looking to sign her up for a Mommy and Me swim class very soon.

Feeding herself crackers at a restaurant in Navy Pier

Spending time with Daddy at the hotel bar...long story but our private room for our welcome reception never happened so we (all the families) hung out at the bar at the W hotel with our kids. A little awkward....

We had a great weekend. Met some new friends, hung out with some old ones and even fit some family time in there. And now it is back to reality and work. I forsee a going back to work blog post in my future...

Happy 10th Anniversary!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Kiya update

Isn't she cute? Well, poor Kiya has had a rough few days full of doctor's appointments and attempts at blood draws. We had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist for a follow up since she tested positive for the Hepatitis C antibodies. She has tested negative for the virus but we aren't out of the woods so our regular doctor recommend we see a specialist for a game plan etc.

Well we were less than thrilled with the experience at this clinic. It started with the receptionist calling Kiya a him even though she was dressed in pink. It was followed by the nurse getting upset that we didn't fill out the questionnaire which had 1/3 of the questions about my pregnancy and another 1/3 about mother's health. I politely wrote on the form that Kiya was adopted.

Well the nurse then went on to ask how to say Kiya's Ethiopian name as we haven't changed that with insurance yet so I told her. She then asked me if we were going to change it. I told her we were and she said "oh that's good. We can't have a name like that here in America." Really?

She went on to comment about how lucky Kiya was to get out of Ethiopia and make assumptions about the lack of medical care she could have received while in Ethiopia. I kindly pointed out that we have ZERO doubt that our daughter was VERY well taken care of during her time in Ethiopia. We met the doctor and the nurses and were very pleased with the level of care, concern and compassion. The nurse was in shock that they had vaccines in Ethiopia and assumed we would just revaccinate to make sure. I politely told her no we were not revaccinating as we ran titers and her vaccines were all fine.

By this point I was getting annoyed, well it got worse. The doctor came in and obviously didn't read my daughter's file or the questionnaire I filled out that listed that my daughter is from Ethiopia. He assumed that I was Hepatitis C positive and that is how Kiya had the antibodies. Really?

We came up with a game plan for the next 7 months or so which unfortunately include some more blood tests. We went to the lab that day and wow, let's just say I left with a screaming baby in tears. They too kept calling Kiya a him and the people at that lab had no idea how to draw blood from an infant. I know and realize it can be challenging but you should never say in front of a mom "I am not sure if this is a tendon or a vein, let's try it and see what happens." If this in fact was the case, do me a favor, leave the room and discuss with a colleague out in the hall.

So we had to go in to our regular clinic today for the blood draw and due to the tests that were ordered and Kiya's size, we weren't able to get all the blood today. We have to go back next week for the rest. Poor baby...