Can we say 3 weeks???

It occurred to me today that we are 3 weeks away from our 12 months of waiting date. 3 weeks??? Can we say starting to freak out a little???? (okay A LOT)

I haven't heard from my specialist in awhile but at last word she had said that the trend was for people to get the call sometime in their 11th month of waiting whether it be 11 months and 1 day or 11 months and 29 days is impossible to predict. I have seen families get the call mere days before they hit the 12 month mark and others who got the call a few weeks before they hit 12 months.

Holy Moly! I can't think of anything else right now but my phone ringing. I have officially lost it. I am certifiable for sure. I want that phone to ring so badly and then in the back of my head I keep hearing what if it doesn't. I know crazy but International Adoption is crazy and anything could happen.

While I try to remain calm, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! May 2009 be all that you hope and want it to be. I am sure hoping that 2009 will be one of the greatest years of my life. I could use an awesome year. 2007 was a TERRIBLE year and 2008 was average at best. I am so grateful to all my family and friends for sticking with us through these last two years as rough as they may have been at times. 2009 sure looks to be the year for us and our new family. Fingers crossed for all my buddies at the top of the list may we be so blessed to hear our phone ringing soon from the 651 area code!

EDIT: No sooner did I post this that I got an email from my specialist. She said they are up to dossier dates of 1/10/08 (we are 1/22/08) and that she is pretty hopeful that we won't hit 12 months of waiting. Pretty was her word not mine and she unfortunately gave no hints as to when it might happen but soon. Okay--now I am crying, happy tears of course. I told you I was a mess :)

And then....

So I have been getting some questions about where we are and what happens next so I thought I would try to briefly summarize what exactly we are waiting for and then what happens after that.

We are still #8 on the unofficial list (bring on 2009!!!) and we are waiting for a phone call. This will be a call from our specialist letting us know we have been matched with a baby. She will tell us over the phone some basic info and email us a referral packet that has the same info. Thank goodness for email as I will be jumping up and down and crying so I don't think I would be the best listener. We then have 1 week to decide if we would like to accept the referral.

To break that down. Our specialist is going to call me as I am more readily accessible by phone though she does have our home #, my cell #, my work #, Dave's cell # and Dave's work # just in case. Depending on what time she calls it will depend on how we handle it. If we are lucky and it is my day off and before Dave leaves for work we will both take the call but that is unlikely. So I am expecting to take the call and then call Dave and we can open the email together and see a picture of our beautiful peanut. (As to why we don't conference call, Dave doesn't have an office and is in a VERY open environment with ZERO privacy so it would a lot to handle in front of co-workers, boss, etc).

I then have a list of other people to call which includes family and some dear friends. I have a feeling a lot of my day will be spent on the phone and staring at a picture. These calls are going to take a big leap of faith for me. I have had my heart broken while on this adoption journey but I am telling myself this is different. Something always felt off before, this time it doesn't. God called us to adopt from Ethiopia and in God I must trust. I will celebrate that call with everything I have in me all the while saying prayers for peanut to be healthy and the process to go smoothly. And if you thought I was a basket case before the call, I have a feeling it is only going to get worse but in a good way if that makes sense.

After we get the call, I will email the International Adoption Clinic with our referral packet for medical review. This is just a formality and not a necessity. We don't have any doubt that when we get that call that God was involved. We were supposed to be matched with this child no matter what the test results show but are getting the info reviewed so we know what to look for if anything. From there we officially accept the referral and wait some more for a court date. Court dates are about 2-3 months after referral or so it seems and then birth certificates seem to be taking about 2-3 weeks and then travel 2-3 weeks after that. The timeline says about 12-16 weeks from referral until travel but I think it will be closer to 16 weeks.

Until we pass court I cannot post pictures or names on this blog as the baby is not legally ours yet. I can share pictures privately with family and close friends and trust me the day we pass court a picture will be front and center on this blog. As for a name, that discussion is on hold. We are waiting to see what name was given to our peanut and by whom.

As always, my prayers and thoughts are with you peanut and those looking after you. We are ready for 2009 and more than ready to see your beautiful face.

Back to reality

Well, it is finally time for me to get back to reality. It was nice to have a break from work and technology for a few days.

Christmas was fabulous. There was lots of good food, drink and laughs to go around. It was great to be able to spend it with family and friends.

The biggest surprise of the last week is that we are now # 8 on the unofficial list and # 4 on that list waiting for an infant. My cell phone ringer volume is as high as it will go. I am hopeful that the next weeks will bring us amazing news. I saw that we had moved up a spot on Christmas Eve after church. I cried. I do that a lot lately.

My hubby spoiled me rotten this year. We try to set a budget and I felt bad for going a little over but 2 years in a row he has out done himself. Last year I got this amazing lamp and this year he bought me a Nintendo Wii and the Ergo baby carrier I wanted. All I asked for this year was the Ergo but he thought I needed a distraction to keep me busy over the next few months while we wait for the phone to ring and then wait for travel. Isn't he sweet? The key will be to work for an hour on the To Do list and play Wii for an hour that way I can still get things crossed off that list.

I also went on my first official baby buying spree this weekend. We went to the outlet mall near the Dells and I bought some silly looking but cute baby toys at Old Navy and 5 onesies and a sleeper set at the Carter's outlet. If we are having a boy, I am so going back to the outlets to get the cutest little whale shirt and plaid shorts I have ever seen. It was hard not to buy one of everything in the store. In fact a couple walked in behind us and the husband said "don't we already own at least 1 of everything in this store." I looked at hubby and just smiled. He rolled his eyes.

These next few weeks I will probably be in a daze. Trying to get things done around the house, trying to figure out my new toy and staring at that phone willing it to ring. Oh and our home study update is right around the corner so I need to clean the house :)

I hope everyone had safe travels, avoided crazy weather and was blessed enough to be able to spend the holidays with the ones that you love.

PS--yes I am blogging while at work. Trying to starve off the boredom :)

Merry Christmas!!

I just wanted to take a brief moment and say Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all of those that have become my blogging buds and to those that read this that I may not know about. Your grace and your kindness are much appreciated.

I will be off for awhile and away from my blog on a much needed mini vacation. I wish everyone safe travels and lots of holiday cheer.

I am currently at work watching the snow fall and hope to soon be enjoying a nice lunch with out of town friends and then lots of family time after that. From there we are heading to the Wisconsin Dells for lots of water slide fun :)

So until we meet again, relax, enjoy and keep your fingers crossed for all my fellow top of the listers that we hear amazing news very soon.

Happy or Sad or a little of both???

Today marks our 11th month of waiting for our little peanut. I am not sure if I should be elated because we are so close to the life changing phone call or if I should be sad. Why sad?? Well, I can't help but think about peanut. They are probably at least at a satellite care center which means their first family has to be grieving. That family had to experience a tremendous loss in order for me to be a Mom. Sometimes that is a lot to swallow.

So I struggle with these mixed emotions and I pray that 1 month from today I am not writing a post saying we are still waiting. I want to be so happy because my dreams are about to come true but my heart feels for peanut's first family. They are giving me such an incredible gift yet they are losing a member of their immediate family. That is really emotionally taxing.

I have all these questions and what if's running through my head. Is peanut at the care center yet? Will I get to meet members of peanuts first family? Will I be able to keep Ethiopia, the culture, traditions and food a part of our lives? Will I be able to share peanut's story with them properly?

My life is about to forever change and that is exciting and scary all at the same time. I have waited a very long time for what is about to happen yet sometimes I still feel unprepared. I am sure I am not alone in this sentiment.

So I guess in answer to my title, I am a little of both. Happy beyond measure yet I have this aching in my heart. Almost like guilt... Our little peanut will be joining our family soon and I can't wait. As always, I will continue to pray for peanut, peanut's first family and the nannies, doctors, etc that may be taking care of peanut right now. Peanut, you are loved more than you know. We are ready when you are and we promise to do the best we can.

O Snowy day...

Well I have a snow day today :) I was supposed to be at work at 5:30am and that was so not going to happen. By 9:30am, hubby had decided he would stay home today as well and was going to drive me to work. Well, we have to drive on a 2 lane road to get to my job and that road was not plowed at all. It was terrifying. I called my boss to let her know there was no way I was going to make it in today. We then started our journey to try and turn around and get home.

I am a TERRIBLE backseat, nervous driver so I was freaking out a little. Ok a lot. This was a two lane road, one lane each direction well it was so poorly plowed it was a one way street and you just had to pray no one came from the other direction. Well they did and we were on the shoulder at one point. All in all it took us about 40 minutes to reroute ourselves back home. We headed for more major roads so we didn't have to get back on that dreaded road.

So what to do on this snowy day...well I still have Christmas cards to address and gifts to wrap. I have lots of time to add things to the baby registry and then there is some house cleaning to do.

Oh and I am sure after the plow has gone by a few more times we will have to dig ourselves out again...

Who knew...

Okay so after my last post and the kind comments as well as the nice posts from the forum, I have started a registry at Babies R Us.

I have spent the better part of 3 hours now searching and looking for things to add to the registry. Wow, who knew that there were some many baby products to choose from. It has been fun but a tad overwhelming at the same time.

I still have more things to go through and add. I also need to add clothes and bedding, but need to wait until we are closer and until we know if it is a boy or a girl. I really started to feel like an expectant parent. I can't thank everyone enough for the encouragement.

Babies R Us even asks if you are adopting and you can put in the date you hope to be home with your baby. I thought that was pretty neat. I right now have entered May 20th as the date we hope to be home with baby. Why that date??? My USCIS fingerprints expire on that date and I am really hoping to be back in the US by then so I don't have to go through the process to update them. It isn't a tough process to update but just another thing to get done.

So the adventure of baby registries has begun. I am open to suggestions for "must haves" from other Moms. Okay back to checking out umbrella strollers and jumparoos...

To register or not to register...

To date I haven't really decided if I should register for baby stuff or not. As we are getting closer to "the call" I am starting to think about the topic of registering again.

We are in a unique situation since we will be 1st time parents but we already have a lot of baby stuff. We had the twins for those two months so we have two cribs, two car seats, a double stroller, a single stroller, a pack n play, bottles, toys, books, 2 purple bumbo chairs and a decent array of baby girl clothes. Obviously if we have a boy we have some shopping to do as my gender neutral clothes, sheets, towels etc are limited in number.

I do have some things jotted down and picked out that I would like but just not sure if we should register or not.

With the time getting closer and nesting in full force I have so much still to do and registering could be one of those things. I finally after 8 years or so got the watercolor of Noah's Ark, the inspiration for the nursery theme, framed. I still have one more closet to clean out. I need to get into the nursery and really clean up and organize but not sure I am emotionally ready for that for a couple reasons. There are a lot of memories in that room that are still a little painful and then there is all the new memories that will be made in that room. It is a roller coaster room for me right now so I haven't spent that much time in there since the mural was completed.

Being in there for the mural wasn't tough because it was the start of new memories to be made. The tasks that I need to do in the room now deal with sorting through the clothes, bedding, etc and there are some images and memories attached to those that are a little painful. I see an outfit or a towel and think of the twins. Not in a bad way but it melts my heart a little. I was really grateful to have had the girls here and to learn so much from them but it still stings; it is getting better but I don't think I will ever forget that experience.

Maybe registering could be a way to start fresh? I didn't really have time to stop and pick out exactly what I wanted for the twins. We were in a big time crunch so I had to take whatever I could find that was in stock. I like what we have but it isn't really personal. Maybe if I register and take time to pick things specifically for peanut it would mend those little scratches still left on my heart? I think I have some more thinking to do.

My weekend was great because...

My weekend was great for so many reasons. I will start with the definite highlight of my weekend. Here is a picture of my new friend, Leah, that I have known for many months but just met. I read her blog and she reads mine and we truly hope that if the stars align and God willing we will get our referrals around the same time and hopefully travel at the same time. It was nice to meet in person and to feel connected to someone who just gets it. We share the same joy, anxiety and borderline craziness about how our lives are about to change. Us soon to be adoptive moms need some validation that we aren't losing our minds so it was nice to get some of that this weekend. Leah is one cool chick and I am glad we met for real. And her son, Noah, is just too cute for words and boy does he love his animals. He was telling me all about the big crocodiles and how much he loves tigers. Just adorable!

On Saturday, we finally put up the Christmas tree, stockings, etc. We are a little behind in the department but it is done now and the house feels a lot more festive.

On Sunday after brunch with Leah and Noah, we went to our neighbors holiday party. She makes cut out cookies for the kids to decorate (and the adults too) and we all just hang out and relax. It was really enjoyable. We are truly blessed to live in a great neighborhood with some really great people. We had a lot of fun and brought home way too many holiday sweets. I made 2 different kinds of fudge for the event and still have some left over. I always thought fudge was hard to make and it so wasn't. I had both batches done in less than 45 minutes. It is the setting and the chilling that takes time. The rest is super easy.

After we got back from the party, we took our Christmas picture for our Christmas cards. That was a little bit of a chore trying to make sure everyone looked good including the pugs. I then ordered our cards on shutterfly.com and hopefully we will have them by the end of the week. Again, we are running late on that but better late than never. There are 3 pictures on our card this year. One is of Dave and I each holding a pug, one is of just the pugs and one is a map of Ethiopia (the birthplace of peanut). I can't wait to get them. I will post that picture at a later date.

Last week I asked a few times if it was Sunday yet, the day I would meet Leah, well now I will be asking is it January yet??? Could I really be this close??? Are all my dreams about to come true??? I need some answers to these questions and hopefully January will bring them to me.

Homeowner woes

Have to vent, totally not adoption related.

Toilet fixed! Busted pipe in basement fixed! (gotta love the cold temps that busted our pipe last year and cracked a window). Appointment was also made to perform routine maintenance on the heater and fix a duct issue in the basement.

In the four years we have lived in our home (we are the first owners), we have decided we must have had the world's worst home builder and sub contractors. Our plumber was TERRIBLE. When we first moved in, we went to start up the water softener and water went shooting out all over the basement. The water softener company came out to fix it and said whoever installed it didn't do it correctly. That would have been the plumbers.

Today I found out from the company we called to fix the toilet that the plumbers didn't do things correctly again. They installed the toilet improperly in the downstairs bathroom and put plastic seals on backwards. They also failed to angle the water faucet pipe correctly so the water drained back into the house instead of out to the yard. This led to water staying in the pipe after we shut the water off for the winter and when temps dipped well below freezing last year, the pipe burst. We also had the wrong faucets in the house but got those replaced and the plumbers improperly installed the bathtub faucet and shower head in one of the bathrooms. There was also the leak under the sink in the guest bathroom. See, they were awful.

Don't get me wrong I am grateful that we are able to afford to own a home (hence that is one reason we left CA) but sometimes being a homeowner is frustrating. Between the plumbing issues, deck issues, and a handful of other things, we were less than satisfied with our builders and the plumbers. I made my frustrations known to the builders just shortly after moving in and within the first year we lived here. The plumbers are now on my list. I am going to contact them and let them know that I will never recommend them to anyone and I have already told people about these issues and encourage them to select another plumbing contractor.

My displeasure goes so far that when and if we build another home I won't work with a company that wants to use this plumber. It has caused me time and money to fix all the things they have done wrong. Some we caught in the first year under warranty, others are rearing their ugly head now. Okay, I feel better now that I vented.

Doing the happy dance :) (no not a referral)

We got our explanation of benefits statement from our health insurance company regarding our travel clinic appointment. Mind you, we prepared ourselves for the worst after hearing stories of lengthy phone calls trying to get stuff covered. We don't have the best insurance but some is better than none. Well, when I opened the envelope I wasn't sure what to expect and....

THEY COVERED OUR APPOINTMENT AND ALL VACCINES!!! We just have to pay the co-pay of $30 for each of us. It would have been around $550 per person to get the shots we did. Wow.

Hence I am doing the happy dance! May post again later, but I am waiting on the plumber. We have a leaky toilet :(

I have come a long way..I think

I decided today to go back and read the first few posts that I made on this blog. While they were fine, I do think I have come a long way in my own process. Back then, I was worried about getting sick, what to name peanut, moving up the list, travel, in essence the basics of international adoption.

Then someone posted this article on the forum and it rang so true. Here is the link:
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/11/child-or-adopted-child-please-check-one/?hp

"For the first few months, I felt compelled to explain myself to everyone — even to strangers. I felt like an impostor, an interloper into motherhood. I remember thinking that some day it wouldn’t matter any more, that I’d forget I was an adoptive mother and come to be just like everybody else."

I totally get this statement as I think this is where I was even when we had the twins, I felt like an impostor for sure. But after almost 11 months of waiting this where I am.

"adoption still matters. It’s not either/or. I am an adoptive mother. I am a real mother. I am not my child's only mother, but I am their mommy, and they are my child. My adopted child."

I feel like now when I read my posts they are more introspective. I have come to look at the whole journey and the big picture. The sadness that must happen for me to experience the joy of parenthood. I have realized there is much more depth behind what we are doing. It is not so much a means to a end but a whole life transition. We are forever adding Ethiopia, its people, and its culture to our lives. That I knew in my head but not in my heart.

My head always knew what this process would and could mean and I think my heart has finally caught up. I really get that what we are doing is a huge deal. A comment on this blog by a very wise woman, told me that I need to be here, emotionally, to really be ready for what is about to happen. I am here. I am ready.

I have always said that I am more than ready to be a mom and while I still believe that I am not sure I was fully ready for the commitment it will mean to be an adoptive mom of a baby born in Ethiopia. I really think I am now. I am ready to be the best mom I can be. I am ready to fully commit to my child, their culture, and their country. It is my responsibility to do that. I am not sure I really understood that when we first started. I have come to learn that and I am grateful that I have learned it.

Is it Sunday yet???

No really is it Sunday yet??? I am meeting a new friend in person this Sunday :) She is moving to the other side of the world and wanted to get together before she left. We are still hoping if all things align right that we will travel together to pick up our little peanuts but thought brunch would be fun in the meantime.

I have said this before but never in my wildest dreams did I realize how this international adoption process would lead to new friends and new connections. When we were adopting domestically, I felt so alone. We didn't know anyone adopting with our agency and at that time the pre-adoptive class structure was different. Now you go through the whole thing as a group of families so you get to know each other with us we didn't have that. We had no one to get to know.

Now with international adoption, I have met some amazing women (their blogs are listed on the right). Some I will meet in person and some I may not but that is okay. We are all connected on this journey together. I couldn't have gone through this wait without these amazing women. For all the virtual hugs, kind words, emails, pillow fights on Facebook, baby fixes and now brunch, I couldn't have gotten this far without them.

I don't have anyone in my neighborhood or in my circle of friends that have adopted domestically or internationally. I am so glad that I can expand that circle to include some pretty amazing people who have been such a huge support to me. I only hope that I can be there for them when they need it.

So I ask again, is it Sunday??? I can't wait to meet my new friend, fellow adoptive mom and former pug owner. Hopefully, my wild and crazy pugs will cure her pug fix for a little while. And hopefully we can be rejoicing with each other over the announcement of our referrals no matter where we live be it the US or Korea.

Blog post #200!!!

I just realized when I logged on today that this is post #200. I guess I am chatty :) I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this blog and reading the blogs of my fellow adoptive moms. This has been an awesome release for me. I have posted on things here that I haven't talked about so it has helped me to clear my head and get focused.

Today I have no adoption news to report, unfortunately. I am still nesting away. Today I cleaned out the closet in the master bedroom. It is unbelievable how much stuff I have and don't need. There is definitely a trip to Goodwill in my very near future.

I also managed to wrangle the dogs in to the bath tub. Not a fun task but one that was needed. I feel bad that I had to bathe them on a cold and snowy day but the goal is to keep busy so bathe I did. Now they are wet dogs since they hate blow dryers and it's cold out :(

The best part of the day so far has been making brownies. Yum! I figured after all the closet cleaning I could use a little treat. The house smells oddly like wet dog and brownie. Not the best of combinations but oh well.

So for all you readers out there, thanks! I have enjoyed the blogging world so far and look forward to the next 200 posts :)

Reaching out

In my joy over entering the single digits on the unofficial list, I realized that there are some people I "know" who need some positive vibes or prayers or whatever kind thought you can offer. If you have read this blog, you know it took me 9 plus months to find peace in my waiting for little peanut. I had some really bad days in there and while no one can take that away, the kind words I got on those days really helped. Well, it is my turn to give back.

So for those of you who are reading this and still waiting, hope to be waiting soon or have hit a wall emotionally in your adoption journey, how can I help? I know that so many of you have helped me so far through my process and I want to pay it forward.

I make no promises just want to send good thoughts, hugs, prayers, a silly story, whatever I can do to help you get through the day, the week, the month that is bringing you down. I know it can be tough. I am sure I will have some tough days ahead but since I am doing all right at the moment, I want to reach out to those of you who might not be doing all right. I won't pretend that I have a magic cure to make the waiting any easier but I have been told I am a pretty good listener and my virtual hugs aren't that bad either. I also have really silly dogs that I love to take pictures of so if silly pug pictures could brighten your day I can help with that.

Anyway, you have a friend here if you need one. I will keep those of you I "know" and those that I don't in my prayers and will pray for better days ahead. I won't lie and tell you it gets easier; it doesn't. I was able to find peace which I am grateful for and couldn't have done that without all of the wonderful people I have met through this process so if I can in anyway help someone else find peace, I want to try. We can get through this wait, together.

9 to 5 :)

A quick update on this cold and not so pleasant Saturday that warmed my heart and had me dreaming of a place half a world away (again).

We are # 9!!! And # 5 waiting for an infant.

Wow! I know that it could be awhile before we move up again but we just got a little closer to getting to know our peanut. Peanut, when you are ready, we are here waiting for you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your first family always.

Lost in the moment

Well, I will start with some more amazing news...we are # 10!!! I can hardly believe it. This also means that we are now # 6 (unofficially of course) waiting for an infant. Realistically, we still have some waiting to do but this is all really starting to effect me.

I couldn't resist the urge to contact my specialist today. She said that they are currently up to families with the end of December 2007 dossier dates. She is unsure if we will see more referrals this month and that based on recent past we will likely have to wait until after the 1st of the year for our referral. At first when I read that I was a little bummed but some people were matched with their little ones 2 weeks before they hit the 12 month mark of waiting. That is 4-5 weeks away for us. Could we really be 1 month away from our precious little peanut??? Holy Cow!

As that info has started to set in, I have turned into a total basket case. I am usually pretty stable but this week I have fully lost it. My heart and mind are half a world away. Not a minute goes by where I don't think about peanut, Ethiopia, and peanut's first family. I can't help it. In a few short weeks my family structure will forever change, how can I not think about it?? It has been very hard for me to focus on the day to day tasks. I am more than ready to be a Mom and yet I have so much to do before that happens.

I apologize to everyone I interact with in advance. I am here but not all at the same time. I know that may not make sense to anyone but it is the only way I can describe what I am feeling right now. Maybe distracted is the right word, not really sure. I am for sure in a surreal place. I am pinching myself to make sure this isn't all a dream. I assure you it is not.

I know that my waiting days aren't over but really I am doing okay. In fact I think I need these next few weeks to sort through my own stuff, get ready for peanut and the wait that comes after referral. Oh and I need to finish cleaning up the nursery and put a clear protective coat on the mural. With the holidays, home study update and house prep, I have plenty to do to keep me busy all the while my thoughts are with peanut.

I have a feeling things will fall into place as they should and the next few weeks will be a blur for me. I am feeling a little lost I guess. We are so close but not there yet. We had always said we have plenty of time to get ready and I feel like we are running out of time. This is real. This is now.

My plan is to try and stay calm and remember that when peanut is ready for us our phone will ring. This isn't going to be an easy few weeks. The wondering if peanut is born, is peanut healthy, is peanut's first family okay, is peanut a boy or a girl, a newborn or a few months old??? So much left to find out. So many questions to keep me lost/distracted in the next few weeks. And then after we get the call which will be second best day of my life (the best day will be the day I finally meet peanut), we wait some more. The current estimate from referral to travel is 12-16 weeks. In that time we will have a court date which when we pass will make us officially peanut's parents and then we wait for a birth certificate. Once we get that certificate, we will be able to travel. My cautious estimate if we wait the full 12 months for a referral and then wait 15 weeks to travel it will be right around Mother's Day when we can travel. Wow.....

4 to 6 weeks???

I stumbled across this video today and it gave me food for thought. I realize that I am 4-6 weeks away from the call (hopefully). This one phone call that will forever change my life, the call I have been waiting for for over 10 months now. Yet, I see this video and look back at the highs and lows of this journey and am left with questions. There are some pretty dire situations in Africa and specifically in Ethiopia and yet I obsess waiting for the phone to ring and these people shown in the video are laughing, singing, playing, dancing. They have so little yet so much joy and spirit. I have so much to learn from them.

These next weeks will be intense for sure with the holidays rapidly approaching. I am vowing to take time and reflect on my life, adoption, my new family, the family I may never meet and more. These things bring me joy and I need to not let the circumstances of where I am bring me down. If those beautiful people in Africa can do it then so can I.

Starting to go crazy....

Okay we are now # 11.

I feel like I am in this surreal place right now. I have my phone by my side, the name of a doctor ready to review my referral. Thanks M. Now I just need that darn phone to ring and hopefully soon. We are now # 7 unofficially waiting for an infant. I am well aware that this could just be a batch of referrals and we will be in the next batch which could be next month. I am trying really hard to be realistic even with all of this excitement for the families that have been waiting with me. I know at some point our turn will come and I am hoping that will be soon but if I need to wait a month I will. Not happily but I will.

We are still thinking that their might be some more referrals coming in. So far they have all been infants but maybe their will be some toddlers or siblings. That would be great.

More news

I forgot to mention that we have officially registered for Blog Union 2009 in Chicago!!! We put down our deposit. I can't wait to meet everyone and see all of those adorable kiddos.

Oh and the more news part.... We are #12 on the unofficial list and # 8 on the unofficial infant list.

Holy Moly....my brain is really starting to hurt here. I have officially entered the jump everytime my phone rings mode. It took 10 plus months to get here but until I get that I call I will be obsessing over the phone ringing. Thank goodness for caller ID and call waiting and sorry to anyone in advance if I am talking to you and immediately disconnect to answer "the call".

Nesting again :)

Now that the mural is done I have to find other ways to occupy my time. So it is on to cleaning out my dresser, closet and anything else I can get my hands on.

I started with the top of my dresser and then cleaned out all of the drawers. I learned a lot today. I learned that I have entirely too many clothes and currently have 2 large black bags full of clothes to give to Goodwill.

I also learned that I have 25 pairs of various color socks. Yes and this doesn't count the white socks in the other drawer. I also found out that I have nearly 2o tank tops. Layering is in right???

It was nice to get that done. Next on the list is the closet in the master bedroom. This will be a scary task as our closet is let's say a disaster. Thank goodness it has a door we can close. I am forbidden from tackling the closet in the office as a certain someone has used that as a place to hide Christmas gifts so that one will have to wait. We mostly cleaned out the nursery closet before I started the mural so that is done. The rest of the nursery, well that is an entirely different story.

In adoption news, yes we have news. WE ARE # 13!!! And on the unofficial infant list we are #9. A fellow blogging friend of mine got a referral today for a little boy. YEAH ABBY!!!!

World Aids Day

Today is World Aids Day. I am by no means an expert on the subject but for a great read about how you can help, you can read this, posted by a fellow blogging mom adopting from Ethiopia.

Or if you want another way to help kids in Africa who are HIV + and still need to do some holiday shopping you can go to http://www.ahopestore.org/.

So if praying is your thing, please take a few minutes today and say a special pray for people around the world afflicted with HIV or AIDS, for their caregivers and for those researching ways to develop a cure for this terrible disease.

If shopping is your thing go RED. Look for products that give back, a few good examples are GAP RED items, Hallmark RED cards, or go to Starbucks during this holiday season a buy a special RED drink as they will be giving 5 cents of each RED drink sold to the Global Fund.