Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Kiya being silly. She loves to have a mouthful of water....
Water table fun

Yes her bathing suit is way too small, new ones have been purchased.

Photographic proof that Kiya can walk with a walker toy.

Miss Independent

It happened....Miss Kiya is now Miss Independent.

Nope not walking by herself yet but getting awfully close. We really think she could take a few steps by herself she is just choosing not to but that is to be expected of Kiya. Kiya does what she wants when she wants to not when someone else thinks she should.

She doesn't want our help anymore most of the time. She wants to try and do everything by herself and I mean everything.

She wants to feed herself so with a tiny bit of help from us still she does with utensils and really is very good. She can stab food with a fork and it goes in her mouth. She can scoop with a spoon and again in her mouth. Sometimes she takes way too big of a scoop so we try help scrape some off before we wind up with a huge mess. She also turns the spoon around to fully lick everything off. She can eat both right and left handed.

She started to climb the ladder for the slide all by herself at daycare on Friday. She got a few steps up and then looked over for help. She just crawled on over and started to do it. She was so proud of herself when she got to the top.

We were at my parents house and they have steep stairs leading to the loft. She walked up the stairs with a little help from Mom. We went to go scoot down the stairs and she stands up, grabs the hand rail and attempts to walk down the stairs. Needless to say Mommy stopped that one and helped her walk down.

She wants to brush her own teeth. She thinks she is talking in sentences but most times we only understand a word or two.

She has decided that she is in LOVE with ranch dressing. We allowed her to dip her fries in it one night at Chili's and we created an addict. She spotted it on a table the following week and wanted it for her fries. She dips quite well. Yesterday at lunch, my mom packed ranch dressing for her. She dipped fries, potato chips and pickle in it. Yes pickle. It appears that Miss Kiya likes pickles.

Miss Kiya will be 18 months in a few days and I can wait to see what this summer holds. I took a survey recently sent to me by another mom and one of the questions was what age has been your favorite so far. My answer: Every age. Sure each age has brought challenges but it is so amazing to watch her grow and learn and discover. There are pros and cons to all of it so sure we are in temper tantrum age but I love it. I loved the times before she could sit up , I look forward to the times she is running and I have loved every step in between. Can you blame me, Kiya is nothing if not fabulous and lovable.

Toast at my hose

We are toasting Rebekah and family. They have a daughter Dagmawit. We couldn't be there to toast in person so we are toasting at our hose. (No that is not a spelling error, you just have to be in the know to know that hose is a VERY important word said by a very important person)

Dagmawit,

While I don't know your family personally, yet. I do know that they love you dearly. Enjoy all that is Wisconsin, especially the summers. And who knows, maybe you will like snow too. We are wishing you all the best and we are praying for you. We are also saying prayers for those that are caring for you in Ethiopia and for those that cared and loved you in your earlier years.

Best wishes!!! Fingers crossed for a speedy and successful court date and travel date soon to follow.

Warm weather fun

It was warm today so we debuted Kiya's new summer toy. To say it was a hit would be an understatement.

She wasn't sure at first and then discovered, oh yeah there is water in there.

After a few minutes, she discovered there was a bucket. Yeah she pretty much spent the next 20 minutes dumping buckets of not so warm water on her head and getting completely drenched. She loved every second of it.

I have a feeling we will be seeing a lot of this water table this summer. The next time though, Kiya will be wearing a swim suit and swim diaper. And I can't forget the towels. Yes I think we will need more than 1.

Love

This video is wonderful. Makes you think about all the love in your life. I am thankful to be able to share it with you. Check out Kevin and Stacie's blog. They are going a cool give away to win an even cooler t-shirt. And make sure you check out the super cutie at the end of the blog post. That's their daughter!!!

Supreme Sweetness

I have noticed that I talk a lot on this blog about Kiya's sassy side or her silly side so today I am focusing on her sweet side.

Kiya really is a very sweet kid. She loves to give hugs and kisses and climb in your lap. It is just too cute for words.

Recently she has started to pull on my shirt so I get closer to her and then she gives me a big hug. The first time she did this we were in a coffee shop. She just reached out and grabbed my shirt collar and hugged me.

She did it again last night. I was getting her out of the high chair and she grabbed my shirt and pulled me over for a big hug. She did it again and this time I got a hug and a kiss. And then again one more time for a kiss.

She wasn't always so affectionate. When we first came home she had trouble making eye contact and she wasn't a fan of being held for too long. She wasn't used to it. The nannies even told us she was a content baby so she spent a lot of time by herself. She didn't demand affection.

She does now and we couldn't be more thrilled. We have come a long way in this area of attachment and bonding and it feels good. Really good.

So I am now convinced that I have the sweetest (and smartest, and sassiest and silliest) almost 18 month old around. It makes long boring days at work so much better when you get to come home to Kiya.

1 year later

One year ago today, our plane landed after 23 long hours of flight and time zone changes. We were home. We were a family of 3 at home.

The first few weeks home were a total blur. Dave and I both came home sick and Kiya with a double ear infection. We were trying to establish some sense of normal and recover from the crazy jet lag. Kiya was FABULOUS, it took her maybe 2 days to get on a normal schedule. Thankfully, since it took us parents a little longer to recover.

1 year. A whole year as a Mom. I did it. We survived. Kiya is thriving. We are bonded. We are attached. We are in love. It has been one heck of a year. So much better than I thought it would be. It was all that I hoped for and yet so much more.

That isn't to say we didn't hit some speed bumps. We did. There was an unexpected Hep C antibody issue, some post adoption depression, some marital adjustments, some lonely dog issues. But we survived all of the speed bumps and came out stronger.

This year has been a learning process for all of us. The anxieties have gone. The fear that I was going to do something wrong is gone. The dread of "what if we don't bond" is gone. In its place is lots of love, laughter and joy.

I learned a lot of important things in the last year. Namely, no one is perfect including me. I had to learn to let go. To let myself make mistakes. To not be 100% all the time. It took time and sometimes I still have to work on this.

I learned to give myself space and to give my daughter space. We need to figure each other out. That it was okay that that took months. In fact it was normal that it took months. I learned to not be so hard on myself.

I learned that I do in fact have Mommy instincts and that I need to listen them. Who knew? I know now. If my gut is telling me something is up, then something is up. This took time. I had to be really connected to Kiya. We are connected. I know what this cry means or that scream or that grunt. We understand each other now. I don't scramble any more or run to the ER at 10:30pm for an ear infection. I have the tools to figure it out.

I think the most important thing I learned in this last year is that I LOVE being a mom. It is the hardest and most rewarding job I could ever have and I wouldn't change a thing. Being Kiya's Mom is nothing short of amazing.

I wasn't sure at one point in my life, if I ever wanted to have kids. That all changed when I met my husband. I knew then that we could be great parents yet until we were parents, I had no idea how we would do. Could we handle it? 1 year later I can confidently say yes. We can handle this parenting thing. We love this parenting thing with all the ups and downs and in betweens.

And most importantly we love Kiya. She is our sunshine.

Kiya updates

Life has and will always be busy busy, but here are a few updates on the fabulous Miss Kiya.

1) Walking: Nope, not yet. She is still trying to stand up in the middle of the room and is getting better. She has also finally with some prompting and A LOT of dramatics started to push a walker toy across the room. They have her do this at daycare and we do it at home. She usually screams at us while walking of course. At this point we are just waiting for her to decide that she wants to do it. We don't carry her as many places anymore, we make her walk. She will do it eventually and when she wants to not when we want her to.

2) Scalp issues: Well, we are on week 1 of oral meds complete. We felt after much thought that we had no other choice. She got a patch of ringwom under her eye and we think in her ear and then we found an additional 3 spots on her head. It didn't look like ringworm but it sure was acting like it. We tried to get into a dermatologist but they were booked until June. Not fun. We hated to do it but we were outnumbered at this point. The plus side is that Kiya LOVES the medicine.

3) Speech: Kiya is learning her name though it comes out "teeya" or "deeya" sometimes but on occasion she says Kiya. Too cute. She has learned the word "go" but her favorite word is still "no." She can also say "hot dog", and "itsy bitsy". She has learned to shout which is fun. She talks non stop all the time and if she isn't talking she is singing. Usually ABC song or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We even catch her doing the hand motions for Twinkle Twinkle when she is singing to herself. She is also trying to say her teacher's name which is Staycee but comes (taycee) most of the time.

Kiya is such a joy to watch. She is learning so much and growing so much. We think she is going through another growth spurt. I can't wait for her 18 month check up to see how much she weighs and how tall she is. We are hoping for 24 lbs and we are sure she is at least 33 inches long. Some of her 18 month pants are starting to look a little short. Bring on short season please :)

We still have the occasional tantrum which is to be expected and they are usually frustration based that she can't get where she wants to and no one is going to help her get there. She is smart and can figure it out so we are not caving to her dramatics. I think once she walks that will help with the tantrums.

Kiya is such a feisty and energetic kid and is always on the go. She is wearing us parents out by the end of the day but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Wordless Wednesday

Family Day 2010

Here are some photos from our first Family/Kiya Day :)

We had hoped for warmer weather but we survived. We went to the Farmer's Market in the morning, spent the afternoon as a family hanging out and then went to dinner at a local Ethiopian restaurant.

Kiya and Daddy

Kiya and Mommy. Kiya of course is being super silly.
Family photo...it was dangerously close to bedtime at this point.
Eating the carrots from my dorowat.
Kiya being super silly Kiya. This picture really sums up her personality she is just so full of life and LOVES to laugh.

It was a great day over all. After we returned home and settled Kiya in her pajamas, we took some time to light our family candle. It has two wicks, one for our family here and one for our extended family in Ethiopia. We then sat down with Kiya and went through the picture book I made of our trip to Ethiopia. In the book is a picture of us with Zinash. We told her all about her Mom. I know she won't remember what we said but we plan to do this every year. As she gets older we will watch her lifebook DVD with her as well. I know that as we discuss her story when she is older there will be questions. Questions we are still working on the answers too but we will get there.

In addition we also made a donation to AHOPE. We will make a donation every year on Family Day. As Kiya gets older we will allow her to decide which charity she would like to donate to.

I am looking forward to many more Kiya days in the coming years.

The hug felt a year later

It is my first Mother's Day with my daughter. Well technically second. We were in the same country last year on Mother's Day but I wasn't with Kiya. I was on a bus for close to 7 hours that day.

On Mother's Day last year, I met the most amazing woman. I met Kiya's Ethiopian mother, Zinash. The day was emotional. The bus ride long. We sat in a room waiting for our turn with a translator. We had no idea what to expect.

We were in the second group of families to be called. We walked into a small, dark room and then she walked in. This amazingly beautiful, young woman who was on the verge of tears. I offered her a tissue. I asked if it was okay to give her a hug. She agreed.

I could tell she was unsure, a little shy and nervous. So were we. We spent about 20 minutes talking with her. We asked her questions. She asked us questions. It was likely 2o of the most important minutes of my life. Minutes that I want to recount for Kiya. Minutes that I hope to repeat in the future with another visit.

After all of the families met their special people, they gathered all of us together for a blessing and an entrustment ceremony. We shared a prayer and we exchanged a candle. And then it was over. We were to leave. They were to leave.

Zinash and I made eye contact from across the room. I took steps. She took steps and we hugged. We hugged for a long time. It seemed like we hugged forever. We exchanged a lot with that hug. My promise to her that I would love and cherish her little girl. Her faith that I was the right one to be Kiya's mother.

I still feel that hug. I will always feel that hug.

It was the most emotional Mother's Day. Here we were two mother's united for the first time with a mix of emotions. We were strangers and yet we were family. We both had hopes and dreams and lots of love for the same little girl.

Now that I am fully a Mom, Mother's Day will always be special but it will be extra special every year because of that hug. I am honored that we could share that special moment together. That we could share so much with no words.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Our first meeting--video

Meeting Kiya for the First Time from David Justl on Vimeo.

An excerpt from Kiya's lifebook DVD. We are so grateful to have this very special moment on video.

Now

And here we are 1 year later. Can you believe it? I know I can't. Here are some recent pictures of the love of my life




So on Friday, May 8, 2009 sometime in the mid morning, we were anxiously waiting at the bottom of the staircase at the care center in Addis Ababa. We were waiting for our social worker to call our name. We were called second. We climbed 4 flights of stairs with a camera in our face. We got to the top, turned left and walked into the room and there she was in the flower hat and all on the floor doing tummy time. Kiya being Kiya spit up first and after that was cleaned up, our social worker handed me my daughter. My world forever changed a million times over in that second.

She just fit. She fit perfectly in my arms. She was total perfection. Life couldn't have gotten any better. We were united forever as a family. May 8th will always be Family Day or Kiya Day. We will say a prayer, light our family candle and spend the day together as a family.

So now my baby girl is a full blown toddler. She has a big, fabulous and spunky personality. She loves to laugh and to make you laugh. She gives hands down the best hugs ever. She will crawl on over and grab the back of your legs and hug you or she will rest her head on your shoulder and pat your back. She sucks her fingers for security, always has, but yet a year later she sure sucks them a lot less. She is an active sleeper and a great sleeper. She is a fabulous eater yet picky like most toddlers. She is sweet and sassy, adventurous and adorable, fun loving and silly. She is the light of my life and I cherish every day with her.

So 1 year later, Kiya has gone from our little peanut to our budding toddler. She has gained 11 plus lbs and has grown almost 9 inches.

This last year has been nothing short of amazing. It has been so incredible to watch Kiya emerge from the shell she was once in. We know her and she knows us. We have bonded. We are attached. We still have work to do. That said life is good. Really good. We are truly blessed.

Then

A journey down memory lane of our first few days with our Peanut.

I can't get over just how tiny she was yet still so full of life. Those little hands that were in a fist much more than they should have been. Those little lips that held such a sweet smile. Those 5 little puffs in her hair. She was wearing 0-3 month clothes and couldn't grasp a toy in her hand. She was about 12lbs and 23.5 inches long and 5 1/2 months old. She didn't fit in the Ergo she was too tiny.

We could tell she was scared and nervous and those fingers were never far from her mouth. She was a very serious child while we were in Ethiopia. We were new, she was just warming up to us. She wasn't a fan of being held for too long and boy if she wasn't fed fast enough she was going to let you know. She loved her baths from day 1 and only graced us with a handful of blowout diapers. Our last blow out diaper was the day we returned home from Ethiopia in the Detroit airport. (Yes I am knocking on wood).

She was a tiny piece of perfection. Just looking at us with those big, intelligent eyes. We were hers and she was ours and we were finally together.

Here

On this day last year we were on our way to the airport. We were going to Ethiopia. We were coming home parents. I am still in shock that it has been a whole year since we made that 23 hour journey half way around the world.

I heard this song on the radio the other day and I cried when I heard the chorus. It is a Rascal Flatts song, called "Here"

"And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here"

My journey to motherhood was not easy. It was a long and winding road, but I am here and happier than ever.

In reality, as hard as the infertility was and as hard as losing the twins was, I know in my heart I had to go through those things to get me where I am today. There was a greater plan involved here. At the times that my heart was breaking I didn't get it. I was angry. I was hurt. I was confused.

Now I get it. I was meant to be Kiya's mom. No one ever said life was easy and I can attest to that. I survived 6 plus years of heartbreak and tears to get to my baby girl.

I can't believe I am about to write this but I would do it all again. All the tears, the years, the pain, the heart break, the stumbled steps just because I know it all leads to me being Kiya's mom and that is the best job in the world.

So in a weird way, I am thankful for the past. I learned a lot and I became a lot stronger. I knew that if I could handle everything life had thrown at me than I was more than ready to be a mom.

I am truly and eternally grateful for everything that has gotten me here. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else..okay except maybe Ethiopia. I am here. I am a Mom and I am blessed. Life is good.

Wordless Wednesday

Post placement report

The time has come for me to do our first of 18 post placement reports. The report is due this week and I can now say that the written part of the report is complete. I still need to do the pictures pages.

We will send this report to our agency and a copy of it will be made available to Kiya's Ethiopian mother. Will she read it? I don't know. I hope so. She asked us if we would be filling out these reports and we promised her we would.

The report asks us about her adjustment, food and sleep habits, development, etc. Then we get to send 4 pictures along with it. How in the world do I send just 4 pictures. I want to send every photo we have of Kiya. I want her mom to see her, to really see all aspects of her. To see her smile, her laugh, her goofiness, her seriousness, her curiosity and so much more.

I wish there was some way I could know for sure that this report gets to Southern Ethiopia and that Zinash gets to read it or at least look at the pictures. My agency assures me that the reports get there and I have heard that if they are in a certain area they will bring the reports with them for birth family.

I look at Kiya and I see Zinash. She looks just like her Mom, more and more every day. She has this quiet confidence about her that reminds me of her mother. I can't wait to share all of that with Kiya as she grows up. I hope we will be able to see Zinash again so we can tell her all about Kiya.

The memories are popping up left and right and all over. Oh how I miss Ethiopia.

Bring on the memories and the tears

This week is EMOTIONAL for me. Last year at this time we were gearing up for a 23 hour plane ride that would forever change my life and in some ways change me as a person.

Our very first Family Day is Saturday. I am in shock that it has been a year. Sunday is Mother's Day...that is a LOADED day for me and deserves its own post later in the week.

My heart belongs in Ethiopia. It always will. I miss Ethiopia every day and this week just brings it even more to the forefront.

I know I will be crying a lot this week. Maybe not for everyone else to see but there is just so much swirling around my head and in my heart. These tears are tears of joy, tears of remembrance and tears of sadness.

This week on blog will be reflections of a year ago and hopes for future years with a few pictures of the every adorable and loving girl that I am proud to call my daughter.