One year ago today, our plane landed after 23 long hours of flight and time zone changes. We were home. We were a family of 3 at home.
The first few weeks home were a total blur. Dave and I both came home sick and Kiya with a double ear infection. We were trying to establish some sense of normal and recover from the crazy jet lag. Kiya was FABULOUS, it took her maybe 2 days to get on a normal schedule. Thankfully, since it took us parents a little longer to recover.
1 year. A whole year as a Mom. I did it. We survived. Kiya is thriving. We are bonded. We are attached. We are in love. It has been one heck of a year. So much better than I thought it would be. It was all that I hoped for and yet so much more.
That isn't to say we didn't hit some speed bumps. We did. There was an unexpected Hep C antibody issue, some post adoption depression, some marital adjustments, some lonely dog issues. But we survived all of the speed bumps and came out stronger.
This year has been a learning process for all of us. The anxieties have gone. The fear that I was going to do something wrong is gone. The dread of "what if we don't bond" is gone. In its place is lots of love, laughter and joy.
I learned a lot of important things in the last year. Namely, no one is perfect including me. I had to learn to let go. To let myself make mistakes. To not be 100% all the time. It took time and sometimes I still have to work on this.
I learned to give myself space and to give my daughter space. We need to figure each other out. That it was okay that that took months. In fact it was normal that it took months. I learned to not be so hard on myself.
I learned that I do in fact have Mommy instincts and that I need to listen them. Who knew? I know now. If my gut is telling me something is up, then something is up. This took time. I had to be really connected to Kiya. We are connected. I know what this cry means or that scream or that grunt. We understand each other now. I don't scramble any more or run to the ER at 10:30pm for an ear infection. I have the tools to figure it out.
I think the most important thing I learned in this last year is that I LOVE being a mom. It is the hardest and most rewarding job I could ever have and I wouldn't change a thing. Being Kiya's Mom is nothing short of amazing.
I wasn't sure at one point in my life, if I ever wanted to have kids. That all changed when I met my husband. I knew then that we could be great parents yet until we were parents, I had no idea how we would do. Could we handle it? 1 year later I can confidently say yes. We can handle this parenting thing. We love this parenting thing with all the ups and downs and in betweens.
And most importantly we love Kiya. She is our sunshine.
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
10 pictures
I received a couple requests for 10 pictures to celebrate our 10 months home with Kiya. Here you go :) I even got them in the right order on the first try from just home until last week. Enjoy. I know I do. It was nice to look back and see just how big she has gotten and just how much hair she actually has now.
And for reference she was just under 6 months at homecoming and is now 15 1/2 months.
And for reference she was just under 6 months at homecoming and is now 15 1/2 months.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Home sweet home for 10 months now :)
We have officially been home with Miss Kiya for 10 months so in honor of this milestone here are 10 of the many thousands of things that I love about my precious daughter in no particular order.
1) I just love her sweet singing voice. Sometimes she decides to sing whether it be part of the ABC song or just a whole bunch of melodic da da da's. It is truly beautiful.
2) I love how super excited she gets when she hears the garage door opening which signals Daddy is home. She gets to me however she can as fast as she can and immediately wants to go see him.
3) I love her strong, independent side. It keeps me on my toes most days but I know it will serve her well in life.
4) Her kisses. Just too cute and very sweet.
5) How much she LOVES and I mean really really LOVES her books. She can sometimes sit quietly and flip through them herself but usually she will grab the one she wants and scoot on over for you to read it to her. She is very insistent about which books she wants read and don't try to skip any pages, we found that one out. She knew and got mad.
6) The way she was started to sleep on her side and snuggle with her blanket. It is so cute.
7) How she can really concentrate on something whether it be trying to figure out how to unzip her coat or the velcro on her shoes. She can be very focused when she wants to be.
8) The way she plays with the dogs and is so excited (most of the time) when they come and sit by her and she can pet them. She even found one of Sebastian's favorite hiding places in the kitchen and will scoot on over there and give him a hug or a pat on the back. If she is annoyed with them she will push them away but most times she is excited to just be able to touch them, especially Badger since he is just now starting to warm up to her.
9) How when we say peek a boo she covers her ears. I think she is afraid she will miss something if she covers her eyes.
10) Her laugh. Hands down the best sound of the day and this kid LOVES to laugh. She likes it when we make her laugh but better yet she wants to make us laugh. She is super silly and she knows it.
I am honored to be her mother. She is the light of my life and even though she is starting to challenge me I wouldn't change a thing. These last 10 months have been a learning experience for sure but they have been the best 10 months of my life. I look forward to the many months and years ahead with my spunky little one.
1) I just love her sweet singing voice. Sometimes she decides to sing whether it be part of the ABC song or just a whole bunch of melodic da da da's. It is truly beautiful.
2) I love how super excited she gets when she hears the garage door opening which signals Daddy is home. She gets to me however she can as fast as she can and immediately wants to go see him.
3) I love her strong, independent side. It keeps me on my toes most days but I know it will serve her well in life.
4) Her kisses. Just too cute and very sweet.
5) How much she LOVES and I mean really really LOVES her books. She can sometimes sit quietly and flip through them herself but usually she will grab the one she wants and scoot on over for you to read it to her. She is very insistent about which books she wants read and don't try to skip any pages, we found that one out. She knew and got mad.
6) The way she was started to sleep on her side and snuggle with her blanket. It is so cute.
7) How she can really concentrate on something whether it be trying to figure out how to unzip her coat or the velcro on her shoes. She can be very focused when she wants to be.
8) The way she plays with the dogs and is so excited (most of the time) when they come and sit by her and she can pet them. She even found one of Sebastian's favorite hiding places in the kitchen and will scoot on over there and give him a hug or a pat on the back. If she is annoyed with them she will push them away but most times she is excited to just be able to touch them, especially Badger since he is just now starting to warm up to her.
9) How when we say peek a boo she covers her ears. I think she is afraid she will miss something if she covers her eyes.
10) Her laugh. Hands down the best sound of the day and this kid LOVES to laugh. She likes it when we make her laugh but better yet she wants to make us laugh. She is super silly and she knows it.
I am honored to be her mother. She is the light of my life and even though she is starting to challenge me I wouldn't change a thing. These last 10 months have been a learning experience for sure but they have been the best 10 months of my life. I look forward to the many months and years ahead with my spunky little one.
Friday, January 15, 2010
8 months ago
8 months ago today we had landed at the airport after 20 plus hours of travel with the sweetest baby ever and were more than ready for a shower, a nap and the rest of our lives.
I can't believe we have been home 8 months with the fabulous Miss Kiya. I am still in awe of her every day. She is truly a blessing and I am so grateful for every minute that we have together.
Ethiopia is forever on my mind. I am anxious to get back and to share it with Kiya. I made a picture book full of pictures from our trip to Ethiopia so we can share it with Kiya. I have plans to make actual story books for her to explain how she came to join our family.
We have showed her the picture book and started talking to her about Ethiopia. We know she can't understand what we are really saying but we feel it is important for us as parents to practice telling her story.
In the book are pictures of Addis Ababa, Hossana, the orphanage she was first taken to, her first nanny, her Ethiopian mom, and our first days as a family. She loves books and loves to turn the pages and is really good about sitting through a book. She touches the pictures and it is just so sweet.
The first time we read the book (okay there aren't a lot of words more of a reference for us to speak from the heart), Kiya reached out and touched her Ethiopian mom's picture. I don't know if she truly recognized her or if it was just random but either way I cried.
Her tiny little fingers reached out and touched that picture. She didn't touch any other picture in the book. Is it possible she knows that face? Every time I look at that picture, I look at Kiya and try to find the similarities.
I look forward to sharing this book over the years with Kiya and maybe some day we will be blessed enough to return to Ethiopia with Kiya and she can meet the woman in the picture in person.
I can't believe we have been home 8 months with the fabulous Miss Kiya. I am still in awe of her every day. She is truly a blessing and I am so grateful for every minute that we have together.
Ethiopia is forever on my mind. I am anxious to get back and to share it with Kiya. I made a picture book full of pictures from our trip to Ethiopia so we can share it with Kiya. I have plans to make actual story books for her to explain how she came to join our family.
We have showed her the picture book and started talking to her about Ethiopia. We know she can't understand what we are really saying but we feel it is important for us as parents to practice telling her story.
In the book are pictures of Addis Ababa, Hossana, the orphanage she was first taken to, her first nanny, her Ethiopian mom, and our first days as a family. She loves books and loves to turn the pages and is really good about sitting through a book. She touches the pictures and it is just so sweet.
The first time we read the book (okay there aren't a lot of words more of a reference for us to speak from the heart), Kiya reached out and touched her Ethiopian mom's picture. I don't know if she truly recognized her or if it was just random but either way I cried.
Her tiny little fingers reached out and touched that picture. She didn't touch any other picture in the book. Is it possible she knows that face? Every time I look at that picture, I look at Kiya and try to find the similarities.
I look forward to sharing this book over the years with Kiya and maybe some day we will be blessed enough to return to Ethiopia with Kiya and she can meet the woman in the picture in person.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Crazy overprotective Mama??
Maybe. But my number one priority is my daughter and because of that I feel like I need to share a little bit of my thoughts on our return to the US.
First off, I ask for friends and family to trust us. We are Peanut's parents and we will know what her limits are and what ours are. We may not know that right away. It is going to take time for us to establish a schedule and a level of comfort. We are very much going to be taking our cues from Peanut. She may be shy or she may be a social butterfly or she may fall somewhere in between. Either way we just ask that you let us figure that out. Please ask us to do things and come over but understand if we say no or come for a little while and then have to leave. Also be prepared for Dave and I to be wearing Peanut a lot. We have a great baby carrier and we intend to use it to help build attachment.
When it comes to our actual arrival at the airport, I very much want my parents to be there to meet their granddaughter and my in laws will already be there as they are traveling with us. I wouldn't mind a few close friends but my closest friends live out of town so I doubt they are coming. I guess overall a few people is fine but I am not sure I want this huge welcoming party. To be honest part of me does want a lot of people there as I know there are lots of people who have been praying and cheering for us but part of me thinks I may be overwhelmed by it all and more importantly it may be too much for Peanut.
If there is a gathering at the airport or at some later date, please be patient. Not only am I a new Mom but I will have only known my daughter for a short time. It is key that she knows that Dave and I will be there to meet her needs. We will do all of the feeding, bathing, changing, and comforting. That is not to say that others will not be allowed to hold her, they will but it may be limited at first in who can hold and for how long. Attachment is a big issue in adoption and we want to make sure our daughter attaches to us as her parents. So please understand it is not our intention to upset anyone but for awhile we will not be passing Peanut around for everyone to hold.
I have said awhile a few times. I can't put a number on how long it will take until we all feel settled in. It could be weeks, it could be months. It is all about Peanut. She will dictate how long this takes. We want her to be settled and comfortable and that is up to her. We can't rush that. She at such a young age has already experienced a great deal of loss and a lot of change. We need to help her to figure that out and know that she is safe and loved and that we as her parents will always be there.
For you experienced parents out there, know that we may do things differently and you may not understand why. If that is the case just ask us but again trust us and if you feel you must offer an opinion you can but don't be offended if we respectfully don't change what we are doing. You may think we are coddling her or spoiling her and sometimes we might be. She has been through so much and so many caregivers and change. She needs to feel that safety, love and comfort are always near by.
So will I be a crazy overprotective Mama, sometimes yes. Will that change in time, yes. All I am asking for is time to figure it all out and patience that we know what is best for our family even if it doesn't make sense to you right away. We can't wait to share our love and our family with all of you in due time. Thanks for cheering us on and sending us prayers. That has meant a great deal to us.
First off, I ask for friends and family to trust us. We are Peanut's parents and we will know what her limits are and what ours are. We may not know that right away. It is going to take time for us to establish a schedule and a level of comfort. We are very much going to be taking our cues from Peanut. She may be shy or she may be a social butterfly or she may fall somewhere in between. Either way we just ask that you let us figure that out. Please ask us to do things and come over but understand if we say no or come for a little while and then have to leave. Also be prepared for Dave and I to be wearing Peanut a lot. We have a great baby carrier and we intend to use it to help build attachment.
When it comes to our actual arrival at the airport, I very much want my parents to be there to meet their granddaughter and my in laws will already be there as they are traveling with us. I wouldn't mind a few close friends but my closest friends live out of town so I doubt they are coming. I guess overall a few people is fine but I am not sure I want this huge welcoming party. To be honest part of me does want a lot of people there as I know there are lots of people who have been praying and cheering for us but part of me thinks I may be overwhelmed by it all and more importantly it may be too much for Peanut.
If there is a gathering at the airport or at some later date, please be patient. Not only am I a new Mom but I will have only known my daughter for a short time. It is key that she knows that Dave and I will be there to meet her needs. We will do all of the feeding, bathing, changing, and comforting. That is not to say that others will not be allowed to hold her, they will but it may be limited at first in who can hold and for how long. Attachment is a big issue in adoption and we want to make sure our daughter attaches to us as her parents. So please understand it is not our intention to upset anyone but for awhile we will not be passing Peanut around for everyone to hold.
I have said awhile a few times. I can't put a number on how long it will take until we all feel settled in. It could be weeks, it could be months. It is all about Peanut. She will dictate how long this takes. We want her to be settled and comfortable and that is up to her. We can't rush that. She at such a young age has already experienced a great deal of loss and a lot of change. We need to help her to figure that out and know that she is safe and loved and that we as her parents will always be there.
For you experienced parents out there, know that we may do things differently and you may not understand why. If that is the case just ask us but again trust us and if you feel you must offer an opinion you can but don't be offended if we respectfully don't change what we are doing. You may think we are coddling her or spoiling her and sometimes we might be. She has been through so much and so many caregivers and change. She needs to feel that safety, love and comfort are always near by.
So will I be a crazy overprotective Mama, sometimes yes. Will that change in time, yes. All I am asking for is time to figure it all out and patience that we know what is best for our family even if it doesn't make sense to you right away. We can't wait to share our love and our family with all of you in due time. Thanks for cheering us on and sending us prayers. That has meant a great deal to us.
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