1 year later

One year ago today, our plane landed after 23 long hours of flight and time zone changes. We were home. We were a family of 3 at home.

The first few weeks home were a total blur. Dave and I both came home sick and Kiya with a double ear infection. We were trying to establish some sense of normal and recover from the crazy jet lag. Kiya was FABULOUS, it took her maybe 2 days to get on a normal schedule. Thankfully, since it took us parents a little longer to recover.

1 year. A whole year as a Mom. I did it. We survived. Kiya is thriving. We are bonded. We are attached. We are in love. It has been one heck of a year. So much better than I thought it would be. It was all that I hoped for and yet so much more.

That isn't to say we didn't hit some speed bumps. We did. There was an unexpected Hep C antibody issue, some post adoption depression, some marital adjustments, some lonely dog issues. But we survived all of the speed bumps and came out stronger.

This year has been a learning process for all of us. The anxieties have gone. The fear that I was going to do something wrong is gone. The dread of "what if we don't bond" is gone. In its place is lots of love, laughter and joy.

I learned a lot of important things in the last year. Namely, no one is perfect including me. I had to learn to let go. To let myself make mistakes. To not be 100% all the time. It took time and sometimes I still have to work on this.

I learned to give myself space and to give my daughter space. We need to figure each other out. That it was okay that that took months. In fact it was normal that it took months. I learned to not be so hard on myself.

I learned that I do in fact have Mommy instincts and that I need to listen them. Who knew? I know now. If my gut is telling me something is up, then something is up. This took time. I had to be really connected to Kiya. We are connected. I know what this cry means or that scream or that grunt. We understand each other now. I don't scramble any more or run to the ER at 10:30pm for an ear infection. I have the tools to figure it out.

I think the most important thing I learned in this last year is that I LOVE being a mom. It is the hardest and most rewarding job I could ever have and I wouldn't change a thing. Being Kiya's Mom is nothing short of amazing.

I wasn't sure at one point in my life, if I ever wanted to have kids. That all changed when I met my husband. I knew then that we could be great parents yet until we were parents, I had no idea how we would do. Could we handle it? 1 year later I can confidently say yes. We can handle this parenting thing. We love this parenting thing with all the ups and downs and in betweens.

And most importantly we love Kiya. She is our sunshine.

Our first meeting--video

Meeting Kiya for the First Time from David Justl on Vimeo.

An excerpt from Kiya's lifebook DVD. We are so grateful to have this very special moment on video.

Now

And here we are 1 year later. Can you believe it? I know I can't. Here are some recent pictures of the love of my life




So on Friday, May 8, 2009 sometime in the mid morning, we were anxiously waiting at the bottom of the staircase at the care center in Addis Ababa. We were waiting for our social worker to call our name. We were called second. We climbed 4 flights of stairs with a camera in our face. We got to the top, turned left and walked into the room and there she was in the flower hat and all on the floor doing tummy time. Kiya being Kiya spit up first and after that was cleaned up, our social worker handed me my daughter. My world forever changed a million times over in that second.

She just fit. She fit perfectly in my arms. She was total perfection. Life couldn't have gotten any better. We were united forever as a family. May 8th will always be Family Day or Kiya Day. We will say a prayer, light our family candle and spend the day together as a family.

So now my baby girl is a full blown toddler. She has a big, fabulous and spunky personality. She loves to laugh and to make you laugh. She gives hands down the best hugs ever. She will crawl on over and grab the back of your legs and hug you or she will rest her head on your shoulder and pat your back. She sucks her fingers for security, always has, but yet a year later she sure sucks them a lot less. She is an active sleeper and a great sleeper. She is a fabulous eater yet picky like most toddlers. She is sweet and sassy, adventurous and adorable, fun loving and silly. She is the light of my life and I cherish every day with her.

So 1 year later, Kiya has gone from our little peanut to our budding toddler. She has gained 11 plus lbs and has grown almost 9 inches.

This last year has been nothing short of amazing. It has been so incredible to watch Kiya emerge from the shell she was once in. We know her and she knows us. We have bonded. We are attached. We still have work to do. That said life is good. Really good. We are truly blessed.

Then

A journey down memory lane of our first few days with our Peanut.

I can't get over just how tiny she was yet still so full of life. Those little hands that were in a fist much more than they should have been. Those little lips that held such a sweet smile. Those 5 little puffs in her hair. She was wearing 0-3 month clothes and couldn't grasp a toy in her hand. She was about 12lbs and 23.5 inches long and 5 1/2 months old. She didn't fit in the Ergo she was too tiny.

We could tell she was scared and nervous and those fingers were never far from her mouth. She was a very serious child while we were in Ethiopia. We were new, she was just warming up to us. She wasn't a fan of being held for too long and boy if she wasn't fed fast enough she was going to let you know. She loved her baths from day 1 and only graced us with a handful of blowout diapers. Our last blow out diaper was the day we returned home from Ethiopia in the Detroit airport. (Yes I am knocking on wood).

She was a tiny piece of perfection. Just looking at us with those big, intelligent eyes. We were hers and she was ours and we were finally together.