I did it. I didn't think I could but I did. I know that some of my posts were let's say not so good but I hope a few of them were pretty decent.
It is tough to blog with a 1 year old but I will continue to try but will likely take some days off.
Today we had Kiya's parent-teacher conference at daycare. I know seems weird to have one of these for a 1 year old but whatever. I talk to her teachers every time I pick her up so I knew what to expect.
Kiya's teachers think she is doing just great. She shares toys with the other kids; she loves to put things in a bucket and take things out; she LOVES to throw things; she is very verbal; she eats like a champ (most of the time).
Overall they think she is right on track to slightly ahead in her fine motor skills and her verbal skills which is great. Remember way back in July when Birth to 3 told us she was about 36% behind in her verbal--not anymore :) My gabby little girl loves to blab away. She even talks to high chairs.
Things we and they will continue to work on are her gross motor skills, namely walking and pulling up. She thought about and kind of tried to pull up on one of her activity toys today which was a surprise. She still prefers to pull up using our fingers which at times can get a little frustrating for all parties involved.
Today she also showed a tremendous amount of desire to walk. I mean really walk with very little support. Sure we were still holding on but she wanted to really go. She also tried to take a couple steps holding on to the coffee table and then again with her toy. She doesn't cruise on furniture so we saw this as progress.
We are just encouraging her and supporting her. She will walk when she is ready. This is Kiya we are talking about. She will do it when she wants and no sooner. So we will watch, wait and continue to enjoy her.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Full and heavy heart
These past few days my heart has been full. Full of love, but it has also been heavy. Behind all the preparations and food and celebrations, I am mourning. I am mourning for Kiya. She can't yet and doesn't understand so it is my place as her mom to do it for her.
I am mourning the loss of her country, her birth family, her right to "fit in" in the land of her birth. I do indeed have a full and heavy heart. We are preparing to celebrate Kiya's first year on this planet and I am sad. I can't and won't let myself stop thinking about Zinash. I wonder what she is doing or thinking or feeling as this day approaches.
One year ago today, she was finishing her classes at school and realized she wasn't feeling well. She went to the clinic that afternoon already in pain and in labor. She told us that. She cried. I cried. We cried together as she recounted the story of Kiya's birth.
She told us she named her Yewibdar because it means "most beautiful one" and that is what she saw when she looked into that sweet baby girls face. You could hear in her voice how much she loved that little girl and that tears my heart apart. She loved her so much to let her go. I don't even have an ounce of that strength.
I am trying to find a simple yet meaningful way to remember Zinash tomorrow. It is important to me that she always be present in my house and that Kiya knows who this woman is. We are hoping to light a candle and say a prayer. We may watch her lifebook DVD. I haven't had the courage to watch it again. We watched it once in Ethiopia and I haven't been able to watch it yet. Kiya is too young to understand it. As she gets older, our jobs as parents get more challenging.
How will we share her story with her...I am not sure. Her story is clear to us but it isn't an easy story to tell. We will share it all with her when she is ready but at first in the early years she may only get bits and pieces. I won't ever lie to her or deny her her story but parts of it are not for young ears and will be a challenge for us to share and her to understand.
Tomorrow will be about us as a family. A whole family and by definition that includes Zinash. We will remember her and cherish her tomorrow and celebrate Kiya. Our Ethiopian Princess is turning 1 and I have a woman half a world away that I wish I could hug again and say thank you but those just don't seem like the right words. How do you thank someone for the best gift you will ever receive? One that caused the giver so much pain....
My heart is heavy today....
I am mourning the loss of her country, her birth family, her right to "fit in" in the land of her birth. I do indeed have a full and heavy heart. We are preparing to celebrate Kiya's first year on this planet and I am sad. I can't and won't let myself stop thinking about Zinash. I wonder what she is doing or thinking or feeling as this day approaches.
One year ago today, she was finishing her classes at school and realized she wasn't feeling well. She went to the clinic that afternoon already in pain and in labor. She told us that. She cried. I cried. We cried together as she recounted the story of Kiya's birth.
She told us she named her Yewibdar because it means "most beautiful one" and that is what she saw when she looked into that sweet baby girls face. You could hear in her voice how much she loved that little girl and that tears my heart apart. She loved her so much to let her go. I don't even have an ounce of that strength.
I am trying to find a simple yet meaningful way to remember Zinash tomorrow. It is important to me that she always be present in my house and that Kiya knows who this woman is. We are hoping to light a candle and say a prayer. We may watch her lifebook DVD. I haven't had the courage to watch it again. We watched it once in Ethiopia and I haven't been able to watch it yet. Kiya is too young to understand it. As she gets older, our jobs as parents get more challenging.
How will we share her story with her...I am not sure. Her story is clear to us but it isn't an easy story to tell. We will share it all with her when she is ready but at first in the early years she may only get bits and pieces. I won't ever lie to her or deny her her story but parts of it are not for young ears and will be a challenge for us to share and her to understand.
Tomorrow will be about us as a family. A whole family and by definition that includes Zinash. We will remember her and cherish her tomorrow and celebrate Kiya. Our Ethiopian Princess is turning 1 and I have a woman half a world away that I wish I could hug again and say thank you but those just don't seem like the right words. How do you thank someone for the best gift you will ever receive? One that caused the giver so much pain....
My heart is heavy today....
Friday, November 27, 2009
Kiya's Thanksgiving and Birthday Party
Yesterday was a fabulous day surrounded by family. It was Kiya's first Thanksgiving and you can tell below that dinner was a hit. She tended to favor the mashed potatoes and stuffing.
And after dinner it was party time. She wore the hat long enough for pictures and then ripped it off.
Yummy Birthday cake was enjoyed by all... except....
Kiya. She didn't seem to like the whole production. She ate really no cake and didn't like the frosting on her face, etc. Not the reaction we expected but by this point in the day she was tired and way over stimulated. We still have birthday cake so Sunday on her actual birthday we will try again.
Here she is surrounded by just a few of the new toys she received. Wow. Looks like a toy store in my living room right now. We don't want a repeat of this at Christmas so we are trying to find a creative way to let people know that clothes, books or a charitable donation would be a better idea. We are kind of toyed out at this point yet very grateful to everyone who thought of Kiya and what she might like.
Overall the day was a lot of fun. At times it was too much for Kiya but she was a trooper. She did go to bed at 6:15pm though and slept all night. She is definitely teething and is acting her age. Her appetite has been less than stellar and formula has been a no go for the last few days. Luckily she is drinking more and more milk each day so our days of formula may be nearing an end.
Two more days and my baby girl is officially 1.
And after dinner it was party time. She wore the hat long enough for pictures and then ripped it off.
Yummy Birthday cake was enjoyed by all... except....
Kiya. She didn't seem to like the whole production. She ate really no cake and didn't like the frosting on her face, etc. Not the reaction we expected but by this point in the day she was tired and way over stimulated. We still have birthday cake so Sunday on her actual birthday we will try again.
Here she is surrounded by just a few of the new toys she received. Wow. Looks like a toy store in my living room right now. We don't want a repeat of this at Christmas so we are trying to find a creative way to let people know that clothes, books or a charitable donation would be a better idea. We are kind of toyed out at this point yet very grateful to everyone who thought of Kiya and what she might like.
Overall the day was a lot of fun. At times it was too much for Kiya but she was a trooper. She did go to bed at 6:15pm though and slept all night. She is definitely teething and is acting her age. Her appetite has been less than stellar and formula has been a no go for the last few days. Luckily she is drinking more and more milk each day so our days of formula may be nearing an end.
Two more days and my baby girl is officially 1.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Giving thanks
Today we are so blessed to be able to spend the day with our daughter and our family.
We have so very much to be thankful for. First and for most, we are so thankful to Zinash for wanting more for her daughter and loving her enough to let her go. We are thankful for Kiya. She is such a blessing and so amazing. We are thankful for our family and friends who have stood by us through the years and were so supportive during the tough times.
We have so much to be thankful for. 2009 has been and will continue to be a wonderful year for our family.
Wishing all of you out in blog land a Happy Thanksgiving.
PS--Stay tuned for adorable pictures from Kiya's birthday party :)
We have so very much to be thankful for. First and for most, we are so thankful to Zinash for wanting more for her daughter and loving her enough to let her go. We are thankful for Kiya. She is such a blessing and so amazing. We are thankful for our family and friends who have stood by us through the years and were so supportive during the tough times.
We have so much to be thankful for. 2009 has been and will continue to be a wonderful year for our family.
Wishing all of you out in blog land a Happy Thanksgiving.
PS--Stay tuned for adorable pictures from Kiya's birthday party :)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
It's Official!
I know where are the cute pics--stay tuned as there are lots of great pics coming from Kiya's first Thanksgiving and of course 1st birthday!
But this post is for our Little Man :)
WE ARE ON THE LIST!!!!!
We got the call today. On the unofficial list we are probably around #90 and on the official list I am guessing we are near 370 or higher. So as of now we are about 2 years away from seeing our son's gorgeous face. We know that when our son is ready, he will find his way to us and we will be ready with open arms and an open heart.
The roller coaster ride is starting again and we couldn't be happier.
But this post is for our Little Man :)
WE ARE ON THE LIST!!!!!
We got the call today. On the unofficial list we are probably around #90 and on the official list I am guessing we are near 370 or higher. So as of now we are about 2 years away from seeing our son's gorgeous face. We know that when our son is ready, he will find his way to us and we will be ready with open arms and an open heart.
The roller coaster ride is starting again and we couldn't be happier.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Bill of Rights
I saw this on a blog I read and had to pass it on. Besides this blogging every day thing is tough when you are planning Thanksgiving and a 1st birthday party. I am so glad I read this. Truly amazing and so important.
Copy it, print it off, link to this post, please just pass it along. And while you are at it. Check out this blog. An inspiring story of a woman and her struggles with PAD. She also wrote a book I wish I had read while we were waiting and plan to read to soon.
A Transracially-Adopted Child’s Bill of Rights Adapted by Liza Steinberg Triggs from “A Bill of Rights for Mixed Folks,” by Marilyn Dramé
Every child is entitled to:
Love and full membership in her family.
Have his culture embraced and valued.
Parents who know that this is a race conscious society.
Parents who know that she will experience life differently than they do.
Parents who are not looking to “save” him or to improve the world.
Parents who know that being in a family doesn’t depend on “matching.”
Parents who know that transracial adoption changes the family forever.
Be accepted by extended family members.
Parents who know that, if they are white, they benefit from racism.
Parents who know that they can’t transmit the child’s birth culture if it is not their own.
Have items at home that are made for and by people of his race.
Opportunities to make friends with people of her race or ethnicity.
Daily opportunities of positive experiences with his birth culture.
Build racial pride within her own home, school, and neighborhood.
Have many opportunities to connect with adults of the child’s race.
Parents who accept, understand and empathize with her culture.
Learn survival, problem-solving, and coping skills in a context of racial pride.
Take pride in the development of a dual identity and a multicultural/multiracial perspective on life.
Find his multiculturalism to be an asset and to conclude, “I’ve got the best of both worlds.”
Copy it, print it off, link to this post, please just pass it along. And while you are at it. Check out this blog. An inspiring story of a woman and her struggles with PAD. She also wrote a book I wish I had read while we were waiting and plan to read to soon.
A Transracially-Adopted Child’s Bill of Rights Adapted by Liza Steinberg Triggs from “A Bill of Rights for Mixed Folks,” by Marilyn Dramé
Every child is entitled to:
Love and full membership in her family.
Have his culture embraced and valued.
Parents who know that this is a race conscious society.
Parents who know that she will experience life differently than they do.
Parents who are not looking to “save” him or to improve the world.
Parents who know that being in a family doesn’t depend on “matching.”
Parents who know that transracial adoption changes the family forever.
Be accepted by extended family members.
Parents who know that, if they are white, they benefit from racism.
Parents who know that they can’t transmit the child’s birth culture if it is not their own.
Have items at home that are made for and by people of his race.
Opportunities to make friends with people of her race or ethnicity.
Daily opportunities of positive experiences with his birth culture.
Build racial pride within her own home, school, and neighborhood.
Have many opportunities to connect with adults of the child’s race.
Parents who accept, understand and empathize with her culture.
Learn survival, problem-solving, and coping skills in a context of racial pride.
Take pride in the development of a dual identity and a multicultural/multiracial perspective on life.
Find his multiculturalism to be an asset and to conclude, “I’ve got the best of both worlds.”
Monday, November 23, 2009
Please don't touch my hair!
Okay--this has been bugging me for awhile and I need to vent. Every so often when we are out with Kiya, people stop to admire just how cute she is and then immediately touch her hair. Why?
They don't touch my hair....I know it is because she is adorable and her hair is deemed "different" and people are curious as to what it feels like but enough is enough. As she gets older this is going to get weirder.
How am I supposed to explain to Kiya why it is that people are touching her hair yet I am teaching her to keep her hands to herself?
We were out to dinner tonight and it happened 3 times. 3 times. It was mostly older people who were talking to her. Kiya seemed fine and was quite social tonight waving at people and smiling and singing but it still really bugged me.
I mean really bugged me. I know my daughter is cute and beyond adorable but please people stop touching her hair. It isn't there for your enjoyment. She isn't going to be allowed to go around and touch everyone else's hair.
I know there is some deeper things here and this is quite possibly the tip of the iceberg in terms of things we will deal with because our family doesn't look the same. The key is going to be determining the motives behind what is being done or said. I do believe there was no malicious intent tonight at dinner just some older grandparent like people admiring a super cute and giggly baby.
How I react when I get a not so good vibe remains to be seen. The key is to model appropriate responses to Kiya all the while being her best advocate.
They don't touch my hair....I know it is because she is adorable and her hair is deemed "different" and people are curious as to what it feels like but enough is enough. As she gets older this is going to get weirder.
How am I supposed to explain to Kiya why it is that people are touching her hair yet I am teaching her to keep her hands to herself?
We were out to dinner tonight and it happened 3 times. 3 times. It was mostly older people who were talking to her. Kiya seemed fine and was quite social tonight waving at people and smiling and singing but it still really bugged me.
I mean really bugged me. I know my daughter is cute and beyond adorable but please people stop touching her hair. It isn't there for your enjoyment. She isn't going to be allowed to go around and touch everyone else's hair.
I know there is some deeper things here and this is quite possibly the tip of the iceberg in terms of things we will deal with because our family doesn't look the same. The key is going to be determining the motives behind what is being done or said. I do believe there was no malicious intent tonight at dinner just some older grandparent like people admiring a super cute and giggly baby.
How I react when I get a not so good vibe remains to be seen. The key is to model appropriate responses to Kiya all the while being her best advocate.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
It's Birthday Week
7 days! Oh my goodness. This time next week Kiya is 1.
I can hardly believe it is here. I still have a lot to do to get ready and we are keeping it low key. Thank goodness the house cleaners are coming on Tuesday so I can check that off the list.
We will celebrate with cake and balloons, etc on Thursday. So after we cook a 20lb turkey with all the fixings with a little help from family, out comes the Princess Birthday cake and ice cream.
We have her outfit all picked out and camera batteries are charging. Gifts still need to be wrapped but that will happen. Even though I am sure she is really only going to want to play with the wrapping paper and bows.
On Sunday, we are just hanging out the 3 of us. The hope is to make it to church and say some special prayers for Zinash and just enjoy our family. There will be pancakes since Kiya LOVES pancakes and I am pretty sure we will still have cake and ice cream left.
I am also going to have an extra box of tissues available as I am pretty sure I am going to cry. My little Peanut is growing up and this momma is excited and a little sad all at the same time.
I can hardly believe it is here. I still have a lot to do to get ready and we are keeping it low key. Thank goodness the house cleaners are coming on Tuesday so I can check that off the list.
We will celebrate with cake and balloons, etc on Thursday. So after we cook a 20lb turkey with all the fixings with a little help from family, out comes the Princess Birthday cake and ice cream.
We have her outfit all picked out and camera batteries are charging. Gifts still need to be wrapped but that will happen. Even though I am sure she is really only going to want to play with the wrapping paper and bows.
On Sunday, we are just hanging out the 3 of us. The hope is to make it to church and say some special prayers for Zinash and just enjoy our family. There will be pancakes since Kiya LOVES pancakes and I am pretty sure we will still have cake and ice cream left.
I am also going to have an extra box of tissues available as I am pretty sure I am going to cry. My little Peanut is growing up and this momma is excited and a little sad all at the same time.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
PAD?
PAD or post adoption depression is not something a lot of people talk about but it is real.
I haven't really ever written about it here but was inspired to tell my story because of some other strong women I know who were brave enough to put it out there.
In May of 2007 we were 6 months into our wait for a domestic adoption. We got a phone call about the possibility of being matched with a birth mom who had twin girls. The girls were born in April. Well, 2 weeks later we took a legal risk placement of the girls. In essence we were foster parents until all legal matters could be resolved and there was a termination of parental rights hearing.
So here I was a Mom in all senses of the word with two beautiful 8 week old girls. This is what I dreamed of. This is what I had wanted for the years we struggled with infertility--to be a Mom. So what was the problem? I had all these expectations of what motherhood would look like. I would fall head over heels in love and cherish every moment of it. So when that didn't happen I was at a loss. I felt lost. I didn't know what to do.
I never really felt a connection to the girls. It was almost as if I was living outside of myself and going through the motions. I didn't have this instant bond or love for them. Sure I took good care of them but I didn't love them the way a mother was supposed to love children. Maybe because they legally weren't mine? I am not sure. All I know is that I was miserable and felt guilty every day for feeling this way. What was wrong with me? I had children, that is what I wanted. Maybe I wasn't cut out to be Mom?
I thought all of these things. We cared for the girls for 2 months and just towards the end of our time together did I start to feel any sense of connection and really with only one of the girls. It was in so many ways the hardest 2 months of my life. I was out of sorts and not sure who I was and throw in the craziness that is adoption and I thought for sure I had lost my mind. The worst part was I felt so alone. I hadn't done any homework on PAD so I at the time didn't know what it was.
So as we were preparing to bring Kiya home, I was acutely aware of what I felt our first go round with kids and honestly, I was nervous. Terrified actually. What if I flew for 24 hours to meet this little girl and I didn't instantly fall in love or feel like a Mom? What if I were to just go through the motions again? Could I really do this?
Well, we walked up those stairs to meet our little girl and the tears were there, the feelings were real but I can't say it was a mutual or instant love. I knew she was my daughter and things felt different this time but we just met this was going to take time. The most important thing I told myself as we geared up for this trip of a lifetime, is that it is okay to take time. It is okay to not fall head over heels in love the instant we see her. It is perfectly normal.
Don't get me wrong I loved Kiya the second I saw her picture back in January but truly love as in we have a mother/daughter love took some time. Not long but time. The first weeks home were tough. Illness, jet lag and settling in to being a full time parent were an adjustment and just when we figured that out I went back to work.
I knew things were really different this time when I went back to work. I kind of threw a fit and complained about it. I didn't want to be away from Kiya. We were enjoying the time together and I didn't want to miss that. With the twins I only took two weeks off and not even two full weeks and when I was at work I didn't really miss them or wonder what they were doing. I was grateful to have work to get out of the house.
I guess the reason I wrote this is because once I did my homework and read other stories, it was a huge comfort to know that I wasn't alone. That I wasn't crazy and that what I felt with the twins and even a little with Kiya was totally normal. When you adopt you have this huge rush of excitement to get the paperwork done, to get on the wait list, to move up the wait list, to get the call, to pass court, etc. and when the moment happens that you actually meet that's it. The excitement is over. There are no more deadlines to meet or expectations. You are now a parent. Good luck and have fun. And oh yeah, welcome to the world of 5 minutes to shower, screaming, dirty diapers, puke, snotty noses, no free time, no idea what you are doing all with a child you have known for merely a week.
My best advice and something I will tell myself as we do this again, is that it takes time and that is okay. I am not crazy. I am a good Mom, it just took me some time to actually believe that.
I haven't really ever written about it here but was inspired to tell my story because of some other strong women I know who were brave enough to put it out there.
In May of 2007 we were 6 months into our wait for a domestic adoption. We got a phone call about the possibility of being matched with a birth mom who had twin girls. The girls were born in April. Well, 2 weeks later we took a legal risk placement of the girls. In essence we were foster parents until all legal matters could be resolved and there was a termination of parental rights hearing.
So here I was a Mom in all senses of the word with two beautiful 8 week old girls. This is what I dreamed of. This is what I had wanted for the years we struggled with infertility--to be a Mom. So what was the problem? I had all these expectations of what motherhood would look like. I would fall head over heels in love and cherish every moment of it. So when that didn't happen I was at a loss. I felt lost. I didn't know what to do.
I never really felt a connection to the girls. It was almost as if I was living outside of myself and going through the motions. I didn't have this instant bond or love for them. Sure I took good care of them but I didn't love them the way a mother was supposed to love children. Maybe because they legally weren't mine? I am not sure. All I know is that I was miserable and felt guilty every day for feeling this way. What was wrong with me? I had children, that is what I wanted. Maybe I wasn't cut out to be Mom?
I thought all of these things. We cared for the girls for 2 months and just towards the end of our time together did I start to feel any sense of connection and really with only one of the girls. It was in so many ways the hardest 2 months of my life. I was out of sorts and not sure who I was and throw in the craziness that is adoption and I thought for sure I had lost my mind. The worst part was I felt so alone. I hadn't done any homework on PAD so I at the time didn't know what it was.
So as we were preparing to bring Kiya home, I was acutely aware of what I felt our first go round with kids and honestly, I was nervous. Terrified actually. What if I flew for 24 hours to meet this little girl and I didn't instantly fall in love or feel like a Mom? What if I were to just go through the motions again? Could I really do this?
Well, we walked up those stairs to meet our little girl and the tears were there, the feelings were real but I can't say it was a mutual or instant love. I knew she was my daughter and things felt different this time but we just met this was going to take time. The most important thing I told myself as we geared up for this trip of a lifetime, is that it is okay to take time. It is okay to not fall head over heels in love the instant we see her. It is perfectly normal.
Don't get me wrong I loved Kiya the second I saw her picture back in January but truly love as in we have a mother/daughter love took some time. Not long but time. The first weeks home were tough. Illness, jet lag and settling in to being a full time parent were an adjustment and just when we figured that out I went back to work.
I knew things were really different this time when I went back to work. I kind of threw a fit and complained about it. I didn't want to be away from Kiya. We were enjoying the time together and I didn't want to miss that. With the twins I only took two weeks off and not even two full weeks and when I was at work I didn't really miss them or wonder what they were doing. I was grateful to have work to get out of the house.
I guess the reason I wrote this is because once I did my homework and read other stories, it was a huge comfort to know that I wasn't alone. That I wasn't crazy and that what I felt with the twins and even a little with Kiya was totally normal. When you adopt you have this huge rush of excitement to get the paperwork done, to get on the wait list, to move up the wait list, to get the call, to pass court, etc. and when the moment happens that you actually meet that's it. The excitement is over. There are no more deadlines to meet or expectations. You are now a parent. Good luck and have fun. And oh yeah, welcome to the world of 5 minutes to shower, screaming, dirty diapers, puke, snotty noses, no free time, no idea what you are doing all with a child you have known for merely a week.
My best advice and something I will tell myself as we do this again, is that it takes time and that is okay. I am not crazy. I am a good Mom, it just took me some time to actually believe that.
Friday, November 20, 2009
What a day
It has been a whirlwind of a day.
First, safe travels to my friend Theresa. She is on her way to pick up her sweet daughter the fabulous Miss Orange in Ethiopia.
Second, HUGE congrats to my friend Rachel and her family for passing court in Ethiopia.
And then in our news, Kiya's blood tests for Hepatitis C came back NEGATIVE :) We are so thrilled that she is still testing negative for the disease. And it gets better, the doctor said we will repeat blood work in 1 year. No more blood tests at least for awhile :)
After I got this fabulous news, I went and ordered Kiya's birthday cake. It is set to be picked up on Wednesday. Also being picked up on Wednesday are balloons or boons as we like to call them. (If you haven't read the Belly Button book it is a must).
This weekend brings lots of things to do. Some friends are moving to Tennessee after the holidays so we are going out for Ethiopian food before they leave. We will miss them for sure. Dave is off to the Packer game on Sunday and then we have to go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving which is a HUGE task.
For now I am hoping to catch a little nap if Kiya naps that is....
First, safe travels to my friend Theresa. She is on her way to pick up her sweet daughter the fabulous Miss Orange in Ethiopia.
Second, HUGE congrats to my friend Rachel and her family for passing court in Ethiopia.
And then in our news, Kiya's blood tests for Hepatitis C came back NEGATIVE :) We are so thrilled that she is still testing negative for the disease. And it gets better, the doctor said we will repeat blood work in 1 year. No more blood tests at least for awhile :)
After I got this fabulous news, I went and ordered Kiya's birthday cake. It is set to be picked up on Wednesday. Also being picked up on Wednesday are balloons or boons as we like to call them. (If you haven't read the Belly Button book it is a must).
This weekend brings lots of things to do. Some friends are moving to Tennessee after the holidays so we are going out for Ethiopian food before they leave. We will miss them for sure. Dave is off to the Packer game on Sunday and then we have to go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving which is a HUGE task.
For now I am hoping to catch a little nap if Kiya naps that is....
Thursday, November 19, 2009
They think she is ready
It's true. We got the papers yesterday that Kiya's daycare teachers think she is ready to transition to the 1 year old room. They didn't ask me...I am not ready.
I love her teachers right now. I like the room and the activities and the whole bit. Kiya LOVES it in there. But they think she is ready. Ready to move on. Ready to be a toddler.
I worry. She is going from the oldest in her room back to being the youngest. She doesn't crawl, or walk or pull up. She does walk holding on to our fingers and she does pull up if we give her our hands. She doesn't cruise on furniture but stands up really well. She has to work on the holding on thing but her balance is really improving. They think she is ready. I just don't want her to get stepped on.
She will figure out it that much I know. I talked to the teachers about my concerns and they reassured me that she will be just fine. They have sent plenty of kids to the 1 year old room who don't walk or crawl and they do just fine. The nice thing is there will be other kids from her current room transitioning to the same new room so her friends are going with her.
The teachers also told me that Kiya may not be the most mobile(other than her new found love of rolling everywhere) but since she is eating table food and drinking from a cup and holding her own bottle she will be ahead of some of the other kids who recently transferred to that room.
We picked our daycare for a reason. We like the curriculum and the diversity. I know she will be fine and deep down I know she is ready. She is ready to be a toddler. She is ready to move on from the infant room. She is the second oldest in her room right now. The oldest crawls and does his own thing. The next closest in age to Kiya is a 9 1/2 month old that also doesn't crawl or walk. She doesn't even stand. The rest of the kids are 5 months or less. There isn't a challenge for Kiya anymore. There aren't older kids for her to look up to or want to be like.
While I trust the teachers, I got a little teary eyed when I read the transition papers. My baby girl is growing up. Momma is not quite ready for that and yet I am excited to watch her grow. Does that even make sense?
So starting the week of December 14th, Kiya will be moving on. Moving from her Sunshine Sea infant room to her Barnyard Buddies toddler room. We can do this. We both will be fine.
I love her teachers right now. I like the room and the activities and the whole bit. Kiya LOVES it in there. But they think she is ready. Ready to move on. Ready to be a toddler.
I worry. She is going from the oldest in her room back to being the youngest. She doesn't crawl, or walk or pull up. She does walk holding on to our fingers and she does pull up if we give her our hands. She doesn't cruise on furniture but stands up really well. She has to work on the holding on thing but her balance is really improving. They think she is ready. I just don't want her to get stepped on.
She will figure out it that much I know. I talked to the teachers about my concerns and they reassured me that she will be just fine. They have sent plenty of kids to the 1 year old room who don't walk or crawl and they do just fine. The nice thing is there will be other kids from her current room transitioning to the same new room so her friends are going with her.
The teachers also told me that Kiya may not be the most mobile(other than her new found love of rolling everywhere) but since she is eating table food and drinking from a cup and holding her own bottle she will be ahead of some of the other kids who recently transferred to that room.
We picked our daycare for a reason. We like the curriculum and the diversity. I know she will be fine and deep down I know she is ready. She is ready to be a toddler. She is ready to move on from the infant room. She is the second oldest in her room right now. The oldest crawls and does his own thing. The next closest in age to Kiya is a 9 1/2 month old that also doesn't crawl or walk. She doesn't even stand. The rest of the kids are 5 months or less. There isn't a challenge for Kiya anymore. There aren't older kids for her to look up to or want to be like.
While I trust the teachers, I got a little teary eyed when I read the transition papers. My baby girl is growing up. Momma is not quite ready for that and yet I am excited to watch her grow. Does that even make sense?
So starting the week of December 14th, Kiya will be moving on. Moving from her Sunshine Sea infant room to her Barnyard Buddies toddler room. We can do this. We both will be fine.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thank you
I just need to say a big THANKS to everyone who sent me a note, an email or posted a comment on my blog yesterday. It is nice to know that Kiya has people rooting for her even if she has only met one of you in person and probably doesn't even remember that even though we are secretly arranging a marriage between Sammy and Kiya :). I realized that I too have only met a couple of you in real life.
Yet I know that when I need support or prayers or a pick me up you are all out there in blog land. How I would have survived this whole adoption thing without blog land is beyond me.
I am anxiously awaiting the phone to ring with her test results, even though I know it may not happen today. I got a few questions yesterday that were quite personal, as in did we ask for a child with a medical condition and things along those lines.
First off, Kiya in my mind doesn't have a medical condition. She may at some point but she doesn't right now to my knowledge. Secondly, we did fill out a form with medical conditions that we were okay with or would consider at time of referral. This medical episode if you will was not on any checklist. Yes it is a checklist and hands down the worst piece of paperwork I have ever had to talk about or fill out. It is just weird to say yes to this or no to that or maybe. We wouldn't have those options for a birth child.
In the end it wouldn't have mattered had we known this info at referral or not. She was from day one our little girl. We weren't prepared for this episode but we are more than equipped to handle it. International adoption comes with unknowns and risks. We knew that. We are okay with that.
Someone even asked me if we had known this info at referral would we still have accepted. YES! Without a doubt 100%. Worst case scenario, it is a liveable and maybe some day treatable illness. She can lead a totally "normal" (I hate that word) life. Sure it would require specialists, and blood tests and maybe medicine but it is manageable.
We are holding out hope that she falls in line with the statistics that say her chances of actually getting Hep C are slim but if not it is what it is. What really stinks is that we can't reach out to her birth mom. Since it is likely that is how she was exposed to it to begin with. We worry about Zinash and her health. We are fortunate to have specialists, medical care and even medicine if need be. She may not and likely doesn't. Untreated this could be a fatal condition. That breaks my heart.
Back to waiting for the phone to ring...Thanks again everyone for the support and if you need anything at all I am in blog land for you as well. I know how important the support is when the tough stuff comes up.
Yet I know that when I need support or prayers or a pick me up you are all out there in blog land. How I would have survived this whole adoption thing without blog land is beyond me.
I am anxiously awaiting the phone to ring with her test results, even though I know it may not happen today. I got a few questions yesterday that were quite personal, as in did we ask for a child with a medical condition and things along those lines.
First off, Kiya in my mind doesn't have a medical condition. She may at some point but she doesn't right now to my knowledge. Secondly, we did fill out a form with medical conditions that we were okay with or would consider at time of referral. This medical episode if you will was not on any checklist. Yes it is a checklist and hands down the worst piece of paperwork I have ever had to talk about or fill out. It is just weird to say yes to this or no to that or maybe. We wouldn't have those options for a birth child.
In the end it wouldn't have mattered had we known this info at referral or not. She was from day one our little girl. We weren't prepared for this episode but we are more than equipped to handle it. International adoption comes with unknowns and risks. We knew that. We are okay with that.
Someone even asked me if we had known this info at referral would we still have accepted. YES! Without a doubt 100%. Worst case scenario, it is a liveable and maybe some day treatable illness. She can lead a totally "normal" (I hate that word) life. Sure it would require specialists, and blood tests and maybe medicine but it is manageable.
We are holding out hope that she falls in line with the statistics that say her chances of actually getting Hep C are slim but if not it is what it is. What really stinks is that we can't reach out to her birth mom. Since it is likely that is how she was exposed to it to begin with. We worry about Zinash and her health. We are fortunate to have specialists, medical care and even medicine if need be. She may not and likely doesn't. Untreated this could be a fatal condition. That breaks my heart.
Back to waiting for the phone to ring...Thanks again everyone for the support and if you need anything at all I am in blog land for you as well. I know how important the support is when the tough stuff comes up.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Say a little pray
I haven't blogged about this in a while but the time has come that I need to let off a little steam and say a little pray for Kiya.
During routine blood work once first home from Ethiopia, Kiya tested positive for Hepatitis C antibodies. She then tested negative for Hepatitis C. What does that mean? It means that she was exposed to Hep C likely from her mother but she at that time did not actually have Hep C.
Well it has been 3 months and she needed to be retested. We learned today, that she is still testing positive for Hep C antibodies. We are going in for additional blood work to test for Hep C the disease.
There is a less than 5% chance that she will ever get Hepatitis C but as long as she is testing positive for the antibodies we have to stay on top of it. The doctor had hoped that when she was a year she would test negative for the antibodies but she didn't. So we are going to have to repeat all of these blood tests again in 3 months.
We have done our homework and are prepared for whatever may come. We are of course saying prayers that she continues to test negative for the actual disease and that in 3 months she won't still be testing positive for the antibodies.
The worst part is the actual blood draw. It is so tough on Kiya. She doesn't have great veins so it is usually torture for her. Last time they had to prick her finger to get the blood. They come near her with the rubber tie for her arm and she starts screaming. She hates it and I hate it as her mother.
Wish us both luck.
During routine blood work once first home from Ethiopia, Kiya tested positive for Hepatitis C antibodies. She then tested negative for Hepatitis C. What does that mean? It means that she was exposed to Hep C likely from her mother but she at that time did not actually have Hep C.
Well it has been 3 months and she needed to be retested. We learned today, that she is still testing positive for Hep C antibodies. We are going in for additional blood work to test for Hep C the disease.
There is a less than 5% chance that she will ever get Hepatitis C but as long as she is testing positive for the antibodies we have to stay on top of it. The doctor had hoped that when she was a year she would test negative for the antibodies but she didn't. So we are going to have to repeat all of these blood tests again in 3 months.
We have done our homework and are prepared for whatever may come. We are of course saying prayers that she continues to test negative for the actual disease and that in 3 months she won't still be testing positive for the antibodies.
The worst part is the actual blood draw. It is so tough on Kiya. She doesn't have great veins so it is usually torture for her. Last time they had to prick her finger to get the blood. They come near her with the rubber tie for her arm and she starts screaming. She hates it and I hate it as her mother.
Wish us both luck.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
6 months ago
Six months ago today, we brought home our little peanut. She was 5 1/2 months and just as cute and as sweet as can be. She was wearing some 0-3 month cloths and some 3-6 month. She weighed barely 12lbs and was just over 2 ft long.
Six months later she is 2 weeks shy of her 1st birthday and still just as cute and sweet with a bigger than life personality thrown in. She is now fully in 12 month cloths working her way on to 12-18 month. She weighs, we are guessing close to 20lbs and is about 30 inches long.
On days like today, I remember fondly my time in Ethiopia. I miss it really. There is so much more I want to see and learn and experience. This wonderful country will always be dear to my heart and I eagerly await the day I can share it with Kiya.
Six months later she is 2 weeks shy of her 1st birthday and still just as cute and sweet with a bigger than life personality thrown in. She is now fully in 12 month cloths working her way on to 12-18 month. She weighs, we are guessing close to 20lbs and is about 30 inches long.
On days like today, I remember fondly my time in Ethiopia. I miss it really. There is so much more I want to see and learn and experience. This wonderful country will always be dear to my heart and I eagerly await the day I can share it with Kiya.
While 6 months seems like such a short time and it is, I just can't imagine my life without her. Our whole lives changed the day we got on that plane and we haven't looked back. We continue to watch in amazement as Kiya grows from an infant to a toddler.
So as we gear up to celebrate her 1st birthday, we are also taking time to remember and pray for dear Zinash. We haven't figured out how but on Kiya's birthday we plan to incorporate a special prayer for her. Sure we are doing the big birthday cake thing on Thanksgiving a few days before her birthday but on the actual day the 3 of us are going to do something special to honor and remember Zinash for without her love and courage, we wouldn't have our sweet Kiya.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Spirited Child?
I may have mentioned this before but I am really thinking Kiya is and will be a spirited child. Why do I say that, well here are some examples...
1) She at 10 months already started throwing temper tantrums. Yes, the kicking and screaming kind. She even threw a cracker at me.
2) She is VERY stubborn. She does things how she wants and when she wants and no one is going to tell her otherwise. Example: tummy time. She will only do tummy time now when she puts herself in it. Then she is fine and plays and giggles and even dances to her music. If we put her in tummy time she throws a fit. See above.
3) She is VERY vocal. She always has been very vocal. She has decided recently that to get what she wants she will scream. She will scream to be picked up, when she is tired, hungry, wants her sippy cup or wants a toy that is out of reach.
4) She can be very defiant. She will ask (aka point) for her sippy cup so we give it to her. She grabs it, looks at us with a sly little smile and throws it on the floor. She then looks at us like, what I didn't do it....repeat this same scenario with finger foods and add in a couple of pugs and meal times become quite the production.
We were hoping a lot of this would be a phase but as the days go on it is becoming clear that we definitely have a strong willed little girl who knows what she wants and when she wants it and if she doesn't like something she is going to make that known. Trust me. Try taking her bath toy away when bath time is over. If you are my neighbor, you may have heard the outcome.
What does this all mean? Who knows! I think we are about to find out though. She is going to keep us on our toes that's for sure and while some days are challenging most days are amazing. This is all the stuff they don't tell you about parenthood. We are figuring it out as we go.
1) She at 10 months already started throwing temper tantrums. Yes, the kicking and screaming kind. She even threw a cracker at me.
2) She is VERY stubborn. She does things how she wants and when she wants and no one is going to tell her otherwise. Example: tummy time. She will only do tummy time now when she puts herself in it. Then she is fine and plays and giggles and even dances to her music. If we put her in tummy time she throws a fit. See above.
3) She is VERY vocal. She always has been very vocal. She has decided recently that to get what she wants she will scream. She will scream to be picked up, when she is tired, hungry, wants her sippy cup or wants a toy that is out of reach.
4) She can be very defiant. She will ask (aka point) for her sippy cup so we give it to her. She grabs it, looks at us with a sly little smile and throws it on the floor. She then looks at us like, what I didn't do it....repeat this same scenario with finger foods and add in a couple of pugs and meal times become quite the production.
We were hoping a lot of this would be a phase but as the days go on it is becoming clear that we definitely have a strong willed little girl who knows what she wants and when she wants it and if she doesn't like something she is going to make that known. Trust me. Try taking her bath toy away when bath time is over. If you are my neighbor, you may have heard the outcome.
What does this all mean? Who knows! I think we are about to find out though. She is going to keep us on our toes that's for sure and while some days are challenging most days are amazing. This is all the stuff they don't tell you about parenthood. We are figuring it out as we go.
Friday, November 13, 2009
This year it's different
For many years while we struggled with infertility, the holidays were hard. I mean really hard. I would look at women at church who were pregnant and wonder when is it my turn. Yeah not my finest moments.
As we ventured into adoption, I would wonder maybe this year I can buy a Halloween costume for my child or a Christmas outfit?? It was the same year after year for more years than I care to recall. The holidays brought a deep seeded sadness. I think I hid it fairly well who knows, maybe I didn't but I think I did.
I dreaded opening the door on Halloween or walking in the mall at Christmas. It brought about too many what ifs and I wonders.
This year it is different. This year I am a Mom. I am finally a Mom. Kiya will be here for the holidays. I can share all the traditions and make new ones with her. It finally really happened. All the what ifs and I wonders are now I can's and we will.
I will bake Christmas cookies with Kiya and decorate the tree. We will celebrate Thanksgiving as a family and she can have her first bites of pumpkin pie. All those pictures of what I hoped for in the future are coming true.
This year it is real. This year the holidays won't bring sadness. They will bring pure joy. Joy like I have never experienced before. I feel joy everyday when I look at Kiya and I am so excited to be able to share this time of year with her. I know she won't remember her first Thanksgiving or Christmas but I do hope she knows how much we love her and how grateful we are to have her in our lives.
I predicted many many months ago that 2009 would finally be our year. And boy has it ever. This year without a doubt has been and will always be one of the best years of our lives.
As we ventured into adoption, I would wonder maybe this year I can buy a Halloween costume for my child or a Christmas outfit?? It was the same year after year for more years than I care to recall. The holidays brought a deep seeded sadness. I think I hid it fairly well who knows, maybe I didn't but I think I did.
I dreaded opening the door on Halloween or walking in the mall at Christmas. It brought about too many what ifs and I wonders.
This year it is different. This year I am a Mom. I am finally a Mom. Kiya will be here for the holidays. I can share all the traditions and make new ones with her. It finally really happened. All the what ifs and I wonders are now I can's and we will.
I will bake Christmas cookies with Kiya and decorate the tree. We will celebrate Thanksgiving as a family and she can have her first bites of pumpkin pie. All those pictures of what I hoped for in the future are coming true.
This year it is real. This year the holidays won't bring sadness. They will bring pure joy. Joy like I have never experienced before. I feel joy everyday when I look at Kiya and I am so excited to be able to share this time of year with her. I know she won't remember her first Thanksgiving or Christmas but I do hope she knows how much we love her and how grateful we are to have her in our lives.
I predicted many many months ago that 2009 would finally be our year. And boy has it ever. This year without a doubt has been and will always be one of the best years of our lives.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
International adoption, Ethiopia, Little Man and more
This is a heavy post. Just an FYI. It is me sorting through some tough stuff.
We just got word the other day that our agency has officially extended the wait time for referral of a child age 0-24months to 16-24months. Not a shock, we fully expected this. The shock came in the same announcement that they have stopped accepting applications for the Ethiopia program effective immediately for families looking to adopt a child 0-24 months. Reality is they probably should have done this sooner but it is what it is. We just barely made that cut off.
Our hearts belong in Ethiopia and in a way they always will. Can I say at this writing that I am 100% sure that our Little Man will be born in Ethiopia, no I can't. My deep seeded fear that is surfacing more and more each day is that Ethiopia will shut down to international adoption before we can realize the dream of a son. Do I know that will happen, no but it is a fear and I believe a good one. There are a lot of red flags and warning signs right now and it is a scary thing.
So then what? Well, if that happens we would definitely have to switch agencies. While I can't say my son will be born in Ethiopia, I would like to confidently say that he would be born in Africa or the Caribbean. I feel and believe that in my heart. Our current agency doesn't have any other programs in either of those places right now. We are pretty sure we know what agency we would switch to. The list is short.
There is always domestic adoption but I honestly don't know if I could ever go back to that. I just don't have the heart for it. Can I say I would 100% rule it out as an option, no but I have a lot more soul searching to do before that would become a reality. I admire those willing to tough it out. I am not that strong. I was strong once and I don't think I could be that strong again. I don't know.
Absolute worst case scenario, and yes we talked about this just last night. We have a daughter. A beautiful daughter that we love more than anything in this world and we are so honored to be her parents. If that is it for us, one child then we couldn't ask for a more perfect child. Yes, this brings tears to my eyes and it scares me.
There was a time in my life that I wasn't sure I even wanted to have children. That changed and I LOVE being a mom. I would love to have more than one child but in reality it isn't up to us. God made that pretty clear. He led us to adoption once and is leading us there again and we just have to have faith. That is a whole lot easier said than done.
International adoption is never a guarantee and it is definitely not an easy path. We knew that going in though it was much harder than I thought it would be. We want our adoptions to be ethical and above board. Ethics to be honest wasn't always a topic on the table. I feel I have come along way in my thought process and I owe that to wise AP's who have come before me. They have made me think. Really think. I have said this before that I feel that Kiya's adoption was above board and ethical. I want the same feeling when we adopt our son be it from Ethiopia or some place else.
As we gear up to start waiting, my plan is to focus on today. Focus on this beautiful little girl in my life and cherish every moment with her. We can deal with the reality of adoption, when we need to. Right now we need to be the best parents we can to Kiya. She deserves nothing less than our very best. She will keep us going and going and going I have a feeling but every tired moment is so worth it.
Don't get me wrong, I pray everyday that our Little Man will join our family some time in the future but I also realize that at some point Little Man may be another daughter or may not be at all. Time will tell and what is supposed to be will be. We are merely waiting for more instructions.
We just got word the other day that our agency has officially extended the wait time for referral of a child age 0-24months to 16-24months. Not a shock, we fully expected this. The shock came in the same announcement that they have stopped accepting applications for the Ethiopia program effective immediately for families looking to adopt a child 0-24 months. Reality is they probably should have done this sooner but it is what it is. We just barely made that cut off.
Our hearts belong in Ethiopia and in a way they always will. Can I say at this writing that I am 100% sure that our Little Man will be born in Ethiopia, no I can't. My deep seeded fear that is surfacing more and more each day is that Ethiopia will shut down to international adoption before we can realize the dream of a son. Do I know that will happen, no but it is a fear and I believe a good one. There are a lot of red flags and warning signs right now and it is a scary thing.
So then what? Well, if that happens we would definitely have to switch agencies. While I can't say my son will be born in Ethiopia, I would like to confidently say that he would be born in Africa or the Caribbean. I feel and believe that in my heart. Our current agency doesn't have any other programs in either of those places right now. We are pretty sure we know what agency we would switch to. The list is short.
There is always domestic adoption but I honestly don't know if I could ever go back to that. I just don't have the heart for it. Can I say I would 100% rule it out as an option, no but I have a lot more soul searching to do before that would become a reality. I admire those willing to tough it out. I am not that strong. I was strong once and I don't think I could be that strong again. I don't know.
Absolute worst case scenario, and yes we talked about this just last night. We have a daughter. A beautiful daughter that we love more than anything in this world and we are so honored to be her parents. If that is it for us, one child then we couldn't ask for a more perfect child. Yes, this brings tears to my eyes and it scares me.
There was a time in my life that I wasn't sure I even wanted to have children. That changed and I LOVE being a mom. I would love to have more than one child but in reality it isn't up to us. God made that pretty clear. He led us to adoption once and is leading us there again and we just have to have faith. That is a whole lot easier said than done.
International adoption is never a guarantee and it is definitely not an easy path. We knew that going in though it was much harder than I thought it would be. We want our adoptions to be ethical and above board. Ethics to be honest wasn't always a topic on the table. I feel I have come along way in my thought process and I owe that to wise AP's who have come before me. They have made me think. Really think. I have said this before that I feel that Kiya's adoption was above board and ethical. I want the same feeling when we adopt our son be it from Ethiopia or some place else.
As we gear up to start waiting, my plan is to focus on today. Focus on this beautiful little girl in my life and cherish every moment with her. We can deal with the reality of adoption, when we need to. Right now we need to be the best parents we can to Kiya. She deserves nothing less than our very best. She will keep us going and going and going I have a feeling but every tired moment is so worth it.
Don't get me wrong, I pray everyday that our Little Man will join our family some time in the future but I also realize that at some point Little Man may be another daughter or may not be at all. Time will tell and what is supposed to be will be. We are merely waiting for more instructions.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Little Man Update
Our home study is just about done :) Our social worker has all of the paper work she needs.
I contacted our agency and learned something today. The process has changed. For Kiya, we had to have our home study approved, then we did everything for our dossier and once that was approved we were added to the list or deemed officially waiting.
This time....once our home study is approved we are officially waiting. That's right, our home study could be on it's way to CHSFS for approval this week. Which means, that by Thanksgiving (hopefully) we should be officially waiting for our son. That is just a few weeks away.
So what about our dossier? Well, after a few months of waiting, a dossier specialist will contact us for that part of the process.
It is exciting to think we will be officially waiting again soon but I was looking forward to having the bulk of the paper work finished too. Oh well, at least I can get through Kiya's birthday, the holidays, etc and not have to worry about paper work.
We are on our way, Little Man :)
I contacted our agency and learned something today. The process has changed. For Kiya, we had to have our home study approved, then we did everything for our dossier and once that was approved we were added to the list or deemed officially waiting.
This time....once our home study is approved we are officially waiting. That's right, our home study could be on it's way to CHSFS for approval this week. Which means, that by Thanksgiving (hopefully) we should be officially waiting for our son. That is just a few weeks away.
So what about our dossier? Well, after a few months of waiting, a dossier specialist will contact us for that part of the process.
It is exciting to think we will be officially waiting again soon but I was looking forward to having the bulk of the paper work finished too. Oh well, at least I can get through Kiya's birthday, the holidays, etc and not have to worry about paper work.
We are on our way, Little Man :)
Monday, November 9, 2009
Operation Make Formula Colder
A couple days ago we started this operation. We and daycare had been making Kiya's bottle's pretty warm. Well, a wise friend advised that when we switch to milk to not warm it or you will likely always have to warm it as she does for her 4 year old. Good advice. So we decided to start weaning her off the warmness.
Mommy always made them warmer than Daddy so it was a harder adjustment for me to make. As for Kiya, she could care less. She is drinking more formula now than she ever used to warm or cold. The trick--let her hold the bottle herself. She will usually do about 90% of the bottle on her own now unless she is really tired then she wants help.
We still sit with her and watch as she sometimes likes to turn the bottle upside down in her seat. Yeah she thinks it is funny or she just drops it and is too tired to pick it back up. We just pick it up for her and hand it to her and she will take it and drink it.
You can tell she is just so proud of herself. When she is done and 9 times out 10 she will drink the entire 6 oz she has a huge smile on her face. She has never been great about drinking bottles at daycare but we told them to let her try and bam she drank 6oz which is almost never heard of. There was one teacher she would drink for and for everyone else it was a miracle if they got 3 oz in her usually it was much less or none at all.
We haven't gone all cold yet but will get there shortly. Then the game plan is to just offer her milk in a cup with meals and bottles(formula) only first thing in the morning and at night. We are going to eliminate her midday bottle but still offer her milk just in a cup. We will try that for a couple weeks and then closer to or just after her first birthday start making the switch to all milk. First the morning bottle and then the night time depending on how well she does with it.
Game plan is in place for the big milk switch. For now just getting a little colder a little at a time.
Mommy always made them warmer than Daddy so it was a harder adjustment for me to make. As for Kiya, she could care less. She is drinking more formula now than she ever used to warm or cold. The trick--let her hold the bottle herself. She will usually do about 90% of the bottle on her own now unless she is really tired then she wants help.
We still sit with her and watch as she sometimes likes to turn the bottle upside down in her seat. Yeah she thinks it is funny or she just drops it and is too tired to pick it back up. We just pick it up for her and hand it to her and she will take it and drink it.
You can tell she is just so proud of herself. When she is done and 9 times out 10 she will drink the entire 6 oz she has a huge smile on her face. She has never been great about drinking bottles at daycare but we told them to let her try and bam she drank 6oz which is almost never heard of. There was one teacher she would drink for and for everyone else it was a miracle if they got 3 oz in her usually it was much less or none at all.
We haven't gone all cold yet but will get there shortly. Then the game plan is to just offer her milk in a cup with meals and bottles(formula) only first thing in the morning and at night. We are going to eliminate her midday bottle but still offer her milk just in a cup. We will try that for a couple weeks and then closer to or just after her first birthday start making the switch to all milk. First the morning bottle and then the night time depending on how well she does with it.
Game plan is in place for the big milk switch. For now just getting a little colder a little at a time.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
3 weeks
That's right. 3 weeks or 21 days or 504 hours or 30240 minutes until....
KIYA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
Can you tell I am excited :)
We have her birthday shirt already but other than that we haven't done anything. I haven't even purchased her birthday present yet but we do know what we are getting her. Well we kind of do. We are either getting her this or this.
As for a birthday party, well her actual birthday is 3 days after Thanksgiving but we are going to celebrate on Thanksgiving. We host Thanksgiving dinner at our house each year so the family will be here so we figured it is the perfect opportunity.
She will have a cake and maybe a little pumpkin pie. We are guessing that she will dive right in to her cake since she always finds the food on the high chair and runs her hands through the mess but she could surprise us. She hasn't really had sweets yet but she generally will eat just about anything except chicken nuggets and peaches those are pretty much a no go.
Her 1 year check up isn't until mid December so we won't know what she weighs or how tall she is for a little while longer. I do know one thing though, we put a 6-12 month size dress on her today and it was too short. We had to put jeans on underneath which is quite stylish but wow is she getting tall. I know she isn't a giant and is probably just taller than average but she is tall and lean so she looks taller than she is.
Lots of exciting things coming up this month for Miss Kiya. As for Little Man, our application part 2 has been received and our home study agency is waiting for one reference to get there and then our home study can be completed and sent in for approval. We are still hopeful to get back on the list by the end of November but it could be December but for sure should be by the end of the year at the latest. There is only so much we are in control of so once our part is done we have to wait for our agency to review and approve things and that takes time.
Lot's to do and not a lot of time to get it done but it will all work out the way it is supposed to.
KIYA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
Can you tell I am excited :)
We have her birthday shirt already but other than that we haven't done anything. I haven't even purchased her birthday present yet but we do know what we are getting her. Well we kind of do. We are either getting her this or this.
As for a birthday party, well her actual birthday is 3 days after Thanksgiving but we are going to celebrate on Thanksgiving. We host Thanksgiving dinner at our house each year so the family will be here so we figured it is the perfect opportunity.
She will have a cake and maybe a little pumpkin pie. We are guessing that she will dive right in to her cake since she always finds the food on the high chair and runs her hands through the mess but she could surprise us. She hasn't really had sweets yet but she generally will eat just about anything except chicken nuggets and peaches those are pretty much a no go.
Her 1 year check up isn't until mid December so we won't know what she weighs or how tall she is for a little while longer. I do know one thing though, we put a 6-12 month size dress on her today and it was too short. We had to put jeans on underneath which is quite stylish but wow is she getting tall. I know she isn't a giant and is probably just taller than average but she is tall and lean so she looks taller than she is.
Lots of exciting things coming up this month for Miss Kiya. As for Little Man, our application part 2 has been received and our home study agency is waiting for one reference to get there and then our home study can be completed and sent in for approval. We are still hopeful to get back on the list by the end of November but it could be December but for sure should be by the end of the year at the latest. There is only so much we are in control of so once our part is done we have to wait for our agency to review and approve things and that takes time.
Lot's to do and not a lot of time to get it done but it will all work out the way it is supposed to.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Separation anxiety
It has set in in our house and while some would find the shrieking annoying I LOVE it.
I know weird right but when you are an adoptive parent it is kind of a special moment when you baby has bonded with you and actually misses you if you leave the room. It warms my heart.
Sure when we are at a brunch buffet and I leave and Dave stays with Kiya (or vice versa) and she starts screaming and others are staring it can be a tad much. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Scream away Miss Kiya. We love you too.
I know it is an age appropriate thing but again as adoptive parents we tend to over analyze every little thing. So we kept wondering when and if this stage would set in and were we doing something wrong. Guess not :)
So far she hasn't screamed when Dave drops her off at daycare but she really likes her daycare so that could be part of it. We anticipate at some point though that may change. She will be changing rooms sometime in the next couple of months and that may be the fuel that starts it. We put in a request for a specific room as Kiya has this teacher the first couple months she was at daycare and we really like her. We know that they can't guarantee she gets in that room but we are trying and so is the teacher. As of right now it is a no go as the room is full and the next child to age out doesn't turn 2 until April. Bummer. We know she will do fine in whatever room she goes to but still hoping for our first choice.
But for now...
She likes us. She really likes us.
I know weird right but when you are an adoptive parent it is kind of a special moment when you baby has bonded with you and actually misses you if you leave the room. It warms my heart.
Sure when we are at a brunch buffet and I leave and Dave stays with Kiya (or vice versa) and she starts screaming and others are staring it can be a tad much. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Scream away Miss Kiya. We love you too.
I know it is an age appropriate thing but again as adoptive parents we tend to over analyze every little thing. So we kept wondering when and if this stage would set in and were we doing something wrong. Guess not :)
So far she hasn't screamed when Dave drops her off at daycare but she really likes her daycare so that could be part of it. We anticipate at some point though that may change. She will be changing rooms sometime in the next couple of months and that may be the fuel that starts it. We put in a request for a specific room as Kiya has this teacher the first couple months she was at daycare and we really like her. We know that they can't guarantee she gets in that room but we are trying and so is the teacher. As of right now it is a no go as the room is full and the next child to age out doesn't turn 2 until April. Bummer. We know she will do fine in whatever room she goes to but still hoping for our first choice.
But for now...
She likes us. She really likes us.
Friday, November 6, 2009
I am posting but I don't want to
I committed to posting everyday in November so here it is. I am sick. I spent all day in bed or on the couch in my pajamas or sweats. That's it. Commitment filled and I hope tomorrow can bring an I feel better post or at the very least a cute picture or two of Kiya. For now back to the couch.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Formula, Milk, Sippy cups oh my
Well the time has come that we need to start thinking about transitioning Kiya to whole milk. One problem is, I have no idea how to do that.
1) Do we still warm it up?
2) What if she hates it?
3)Do we mix it with formula at first?
4)Do we go cold turkey?
5) do we give it to her in a sippy cup or a bottle?
Kiya has never been a huge fan of formula. She on a good day will drink 15-17oz of formula but averages closer to 12-13oz. I know shocker. I got some raised eyebrows from some friends who thought I should be concerned and we should talk to our doctor. She should be drinking according to them 20-24oz of formula a day. Not going to happen. Kiya's doctor is well aware and not concerned and neither are we. She is a FABULOUS eater so why mess with a good thing. It just isn't a battle I am willing to fight.
Kiya will eat just about anything. She LOVES cheese which is great since we live in Wisconsin. She also LOVES yogurt. We aren't worried about her calcium levels. And she eats a wide variety of fruits, veggies and meat.
As for the bottle vs. sippy cup. Well Kiya will currently only drink water and maybe some watered down juice from a sippy. She loves water and juice is a treat at daycare every so often. We have tried to put formula in a sippy cup and that was a no go. It was like she knows it is in there and is like "no mommy". She is strong willed that's for sure.
This is something we will start working on in the next week. She just learned how to feed herself her own bottle so we don't want to take that away from her just yet. She is so proud of herself. You can see it on her face.
My baby girl is getting so big.
1) Do we still warm it up?
2) What if she hates it?
3)Do we mix it with formula at first?
4)Do we go cold turkey?
5) do we give it to her in a sippy cup or a bottle?
Kiya has never been a huge fan of formula. She on a good day will drink 15-17oz of formula but averages closer to 12-13oz. I know shocker. I got some raised eyebrows from some friends who thought I should be concerned and we should talk to our doctor. She should be drinking according to them 20-24oz of formula a day. Not going to happen. Kiya's doctor is well aware and not concerned and neither are we. She is a FABULOUS eater so why mess with a good thing. It just isn't a battle I am willing to fight.
Kiya will eat just about anything. She LOVES cheese which is great since we live in Wisconsin. She also LOVES yogurt. We aren't worried about her calcium levels. And she eats a wide variety of fruits, veggies and meat.
As for the bottle vs. sippy cup. Well Kiya will currently only drink water and maybe some watered down juice from a sippy. She loves water and juice is a treat at daycare every so often. We have tried to put formula in a sippy cup and that was a no go. It was like she knows it is in there and is like "no mommy". She is strong willed that's for sure.
This is something we will start working on in the next week. She just learned how to feed herself her own bottle so we don't want to take that away from her just yet. She is so proud of herself. You can see it on her face.
My baby girl is getting so big.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Miss Kiya and our Little Man
Today was a day about both of our sweet children. We had our 6 month post placement meeting with our local social worker. Wow. 6 months and yet it is hard to imagine my life without her.
This was the last post placement report that our social worker will do for Kiya. We are on our own. Every May until Kiya is 18 years old, we will fill out a report and attach pictures and send it off to CHSFS. This is not an agency specific requirement but an Ethiopia requirement.
So come May I will be filling out this report and here is the scary part--Kiya will be almost 18 months old. Wow.
We also spent the morning finishing some paper work that will lead us to our little man. We are mailing application part 2 in today. Our home study is almost done and we are gathering documents for our dossier. It is going to be a whirlwind month for sure.
We are fully anticipating the wait for a referral for our little man to take 18-24 months. Officially our agency is quoting 12-18 months for a referral but having been down this path before we are setting ourselves up for a longer wait. The hardest part about waiting for Kiya was the changing timelines. We were told 6-9 months and waited 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. Currently people are waiting 16 or more months for a referral so we are figuring it will be at least 18 month but more likely closer to 24 months.
From there it will be 4-6 months after referral for travel so in our minds we are telling ourselves it will be at least 2 1/2 years before we bring our son home and maybe longer.
So at this point our little man isn't even a glimmer yet but when he is ready we will be too. In the meantime we plan on enjoying every minute with Miss Kiya. She is such a joy to be around so that isn't a hard task at all.
This was the last post placement report that our social worker will do for Kiya. We are on our own. Every May until Kiya is 18 years old, we will fill out a report and attach pictures and send it off to CHSFS. This is not an agency specific requirement but an Ethiopia requirement.
So come May I will be filling out this report and here is the scary part--Kiya will be almost 18 months old. Wow.
We also spent the morning finishing some paper work that will lead us to our little man. We are mailing application part 2 in today. Our home study is almost done and we are gathering documents for our dossier. It is going to be a whirlwind month for sure.
We are fully anticipating the wait for a referral for our little man to take 18-24 months. Officially our agency is quoting 12-18 months for a referral but having been down this path before we are setting ourselves up for a longer wait. The hardest part about waiting for Kiya was the changing timelines. We were told 6-9 months and waited 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. Currently people are waiting 16 or more months for a referral so we are figuring it will be at least 18 month but more likely closer to 24 months.
From there it will be 4-6 months after referral for travel so in our minds we are telling ourselves it will be at least 2 1/2 years before we bring our son home and maybe longer.
So at this point our little man isn't even a glimmer yet but when he is ready we will be too. In the meantime we plan on enjoying every minute with Miss Kiya. She is such a joy to be around so that isn't a hard task at all.
Monday, November 2, 2009
27 days
27 days until Miss Kiya's first birthday. :)
And so far 2 days in a row of blog posts :) I am chatty but this may be tough to come up with 30 posts that are even remotely interesting. At least I get Wednesday's off for pictures and you may just see more pictures as time is tight. Of all months for 30 posts this is it. There is a lot going on in our growing family this month. Dossier prep, 1st birthdays, playgroups, Thanksgiving, etc.
So for today's lovely rant: The perfect baby?
Why is it that other parents make assumptions of what kids should be doing and shouldn't be doing based on an age? I know you are probably tired of my complaining about people comparing babies but really enough is enough already. Every kid is different!
Sure I read the charts of developmental milestones. I get my babycenter.com emails and I read my "What to Expect the First Year" book. And yes there are things on all of those lists that say Kiya should be able to do certain things and she has yet to do them. Can she do them, yes I think she can. Why isn't she--ask her.
That said, if I read ahead a few months to see what to expect she is already doing some of those things that are expected of older kids. She can feed herself, she can drink from a cup, she can bend at the waist and pick up a toy. She babbles like it is her own little language. I could go on. She is developing on her timeline so if she skips things now to do other things that is okay. She doesn't have to go in order. It isn't a rule.
I guess my frustration lies in the judgement I sometimes see in other parent's questions that some how Kiya isn't developing well. I on the contrary think she is doing just fine. She has been evaluated by her doctor. Her doctor said most kids don't walk until after they are 1 years old so why does almost everyone expect Kiya to be walking?
Do I think her gross motor skills are delayed--maybe a little. Is she outside the range of normal? No she isn't so therefore I am not concerned. She couldn't stand at all at homecoming and when evaluated by Birth to 3 at 7 months she could for just a little bit so 4 months later for her to be walking while holding our fingers and standing up playing with toys is GREAT.
Why is there so much pressure for kids to exceed all milestones and be super smart? Why are their infomercials selling parents products to make their baby read? Why do babies need to read? I just don't see the need to put so much pressure on little ones. She will do everything she needs to when she wants to and when she is ready. It isn't for me to decide or force on her at this point. If she isn't walking by 18 months then we will intervene. She grew so tall in such a short time the doctor thinks she just has to get used to her new limbs and how to move them all together.
I look at it this way. She has been through so much in such a short time. How she is processing that is hard to say. She has been with us longer than she was in Ethiopia. This is the longest she has been in one place with the same caregivers. She is a strong and stubborn little angel. She has some confidence issues and is learning to trust. She is curious and a daredevil and can be a little shy. We can see the wheels turning and right now that is all that matters.
And so far 2 days in a row of blog posts :) I am chatty but this may be tough to come up with 30 posts that are even remotely interesting. At least I get Wednesday's off for pictures and you may just see more pictures as time is tight. Of all months for 30 posts this is it. There is a lot going on in our growing family this month. Dossier prep, 1st birthdays, playgroups, Thanksgiving, etc.
So for today's lovely rant: The perfect baby?
Why is it that other parents make assumptions of what kids should be doing and shouldn't be doing based on an age? I know you are probably tired of my complaining about people comparing babies but really enough is enough already. Every kid is different!
Sure I read the charts of developmental milestones. I get my babycenter.com emails and I read my "What to Expect the First Year" book. And yes there are things on all of those lists that say Kiya should be able to do certain things and she has yet to do them. Can she do them, yes I think she can. Why isn't she--ask her.
That said, if I read ahead a few months to see what to expect she is already doing some of those things that are expected of older kids. She can feed herself, she can drink from a cup, she can bend at the waist and pick up a toy. She babbles like it is her own little language. I could go on. She is developing on her timeline so if she skips things now to do other things that is okay. She doesn't have to go in order. It isn't a rule.
I guess my frustration lies in the judgement I sometimes see in other parent's questions that some how Kiya isn't developing well. I on the contrary think she is doing just fine. She has been evaluated by her doctor. Her doctor said most kids don't walk until after they are 1 years old so why does almost everyone expect Kiya to be walking?
Do I think her gross motor skills are delayed--maybe a little. Is she outside the range of normal? No she isn't so therefore I am not concerned. She couldn't stand at all at homecoming and when evaluated by Birth to 3 at 7 months she could for just a little bit so 4 months later for her to be walking while holding our fingers and standing up playing with toys is GREAT.
Why is there so much pressure for kids to exceed all milestones and be super smart? Why are their infomercials selling parents products to make their baby read? Why do babies need to read? I just don't see the need to put so much pressure on little ones. She will do everything she needs to when she wants to and when she is ready. It isn't for me to decide or force on her at this point. If she isn't walking by 18 months then we will intervene. She grew so tall in such a short time the doctor thinks she just has to get used to her new limbs and how to move them all together.
I look at it this way. She has been through so much in such a short time. How she is processing that is hard to say. She has been with us longer than she was in Ethiopia. This is the longest she has been in one place with the same caregivers. She is a strong and stubborn little angel. She has some confidence issues and is learning to trust. She is curious and a daredevil and can be a little shy. We can see the wheels turning and right now that is all that matters.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Halloween pictures :)
Well here it is the cutest little butterfly EVER! I mean look at her. So cute. I just wish her attitude had matched her outfit but such is the life of an 11 month old.
She really didn't like the hood of her costume...
Much better:)
Her mood suddenly changed for the better when she started playing with this balloon. Grandma and Grandpa bought it for her and boy did she love it. Prior to this she was held by Grandma playing with it and then over to Grandpa and then to me. We tried to move away from it and she got really mad. Finally Dave got the bright idea to tie it too one of her toys so she could sit on the floor. Here is where she spent a good chunk of trick or treating time.
Her pre-costume Halloween attire :)
And FYI the countdown is officially on. 28 days from today my baby girl turns 1. Four weeks. WOW.
She really didn't like the hood of her costume...
Much better:)
Her mood suddenly changed for the better when she started playing with this balloon. Grandma and Grandpa bought it for her and boy did she love it. Prior to this she was held by Grandma playing with it and then over to Grandpa and then to me. We tried to move away from it and she got really mad. Finally Dave got the bright idea to tie it too one of her toys so she could sit on the floor. Here is where she spent a good chunk of trick or treating time.
Her pre-costume Halloween attire :)
And FYI the countdown is officially on. 28 days from today my baby girl turns 1. Four weeks. WOW.
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