Full plate

My plate is getting VERY full. With all of the things written on the calendar for Kiya, appointments for me and a major landscaping project in the works, the next couple of months are going to be a tad hectic.

I was ready for this and then today I got THE email. The email that gives us the go ahead to start our dossier for Little Man. We have been waiting just over 6 months so the time has come. So in the next 2 months I have A LOT of paperwork to do and gather. The paperchase has begun again....:)

Add to this already full schedule and I am committing myself to being a better transracial parent. Recently I have added a few new blogs to my blog roll. A couple of blogs written by adult adoptees and a transracial parenting blog started by other adoptive parents who are taking a Crash Course in Transracial Parenting suggested by John Raible.

Being a parent is a tough job. Being a transracial parent is a tougher job. My daughter and my son will face things in life that I won't truly be able to understand but I need to try. I have to try. No I have to do. My daughter is young and as she gets older we will have to face some challenges as will my son. Judgements and assumptions will be made about them and it is my job to be the best advocate for my kids when they aren't able to speak for themselves.

My children will have questions, lots of questions. They will face stereotypes, they will face racism which are things I have no first hand knowledge of. How do I get this knowledge. Learn from others. Hence the crash course and my new blogs. I can learn a lot from adult adoptees who have walked the path my children will. Struggling with who they are, where they fit in, how to feel about birth family, culture, etc.

I am ready to learn, ready to be open minded and ready to focus on the tough stuff.

Please don't touch my hair!

Okay--this has been bugging me for awhile and I need to vent. Every so often when we are out with Kiya, people stop to admire just how cute she is and then immediately touch her hair. Why?

They don't touch my hair....I know it is because she is adorable and her hair is deemed "different" and people are curious as to what it feels like but enough is enough. As she gets older this is going to get weirder.

How am I supposed to explain to Kiya why it is that people are touching her hair yet I am teaching her to keep her hands to herself?

We were out to dinner tonight and it happened 3 times. 3 times. It was mostly older people who were talking to her. Kiya seemed fine and was quite social tonight waving at people and smiling and singing but it still really bugged me.

I mean really bugged me. I know my daughter is cute and beyond adorable but please people stop touching her hair. It isn't there for your enjoyment. She isn't going to be allowed to go around and touch everyone else's hair.

I know there is some deeper things here and this is quite possibly the tip of the iceberg in terms of things we will deal with because our family doesn't look the same. The key is going to be determining the motives behind what is being done or said. I do believe there was no malicious intent tonight at dinner just some older grandparent like people admiring a super cute and giggly baby.

How I react when I get a not so good vibe remains to be seen. The key is to model appropriate responses to Kiya all the while being her best advocate.

Leaving the bubble

I am very blessed. I am married to a wonderful man, have a beautiful daughter, tremendously supportive family and great friends. We live in a nice neighborhood with a park near by and are fortunate enough to own our own home. I live in a bubble. I have most of my life only to step out briefly when volunteering at shelters or working in the Tenderloin.

I am 12 days away from leaving my bubble and I couldn't be more thrilled. Not only do I get to meet my daughter and bring her home, but I am blessed to be able to spend time in the country of her birth. To walk the streets that her family may have walked, to be in a place where I stand out. I won't have my bubble, my comfort zone.

I think we should all walk outside our bubble at some point in our lives. We need to see with our own eyes the reality that is this world we live in. I am so grateful that I get to see this. I am going to a place that I never dreamed I would go and looking back I feel I was naive. Who wouldn't want to go to Ethiopia, it is beautiful and the people are beautiful inside and out.

I know I cannot really prepare myself for what I will experience. There will be an overwhelming amount of emotion. The joy of my daughter, the sadness and loss for her birth family, the pleasure of meeting new families, the reality of life on the streets, the smiles on the faces of children with HIV... It will be emotionally draining of that I have no doubt.

What will I do with this experience, I don't know. I hope to come back to my bubble with knowledge and a reality check. With the realization that while I feel I am doing something that I could and should be doing more. What does that look like? I don't know yet. I am hoping for Ethiopia to speak to me.

One thing I know for sure is that Ethiopia is part of me and part of my family. I cannot and will not ignore that and I will do what I can to help those that need it in this beautiful country. The country that gave me my daughter. It is the least I can do. I will forever have Ethiopia on my heart and am anxiously awaiting my trip. And while this trip will be long and difficult at times, it is good for me. I need more perspective and need to broaden my horizons if not for me than for my daughter. I want her to see and know how much we love Ethiopia and I want more than anything for her to be proud of where she came from.