I was reading an interesting conversation about haircare and African American women and their children. The premise of the discussion was if an African American mom really wants her daughter to have natural hair should mom have natural hair also?
Now obviously I am not African American but I do want my African American daughter to have natural hair and be proud of it (at least for as long as I have say in that matter). Kiya's hair is thick and tightly curled and well fabulous. Sure it isn't super easy to take care of but we are learning and I LOVE her luscious curls.
That said the conversation I was reading got me thinking. Am I going to send mixed messages to my daughter about being proud of your natural hair if I color and straighten my own hair? I mean I am going to try and raise her to be proud of her culture, her beauty, her hair, everything. So is it weird if I don't embrace my own wavy, thick, slightly graying hair?
I don't know but I fear it might. Now to be honest I am not sure I am ready in my early 30's to live with gray hair so the hair color is going to stay. However, I am going to give my waves a try. I have avoided them at all costs. I either pull my hair up in a ponytail or messy bun or I blow dry it straight. I am going to let it be natural and wavy and see what happens.
Why? Because I don't want to be a hypocrite with my daughter. I want to set a good example. Little girls look up to their mom's and I want Kiya to look up at me and see integrity and confidence.
Showing posts with label hair care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hair care. Show all posts
Friday, February 19, 2010
Monday, November 23, 2009
Please don't touch my hair!
Okay--this has been bugging me for awhile and I need to vent. Every so often when we are out with Kiya, people stop to admire just how cute she is and then immediately touch her hair. Why?
They don't touch my hair....I know it is because she is adorable and her hair is deemed "different" and people are curious as to what it feels like but enough is enough. As she gets older this is going to get weirder.
How am I supposed to explain to Kiya why it is that people are touching her hair yet I am teaching her to keep her hands to herself?
We were out to dinner tonight and it happened 3 times. 3 times. It was mostly older people who were talking to her. Kiya seemed fine and was quite social tonight waving at people and smiling and singing but it still really bugged me.
I mean really bugged me. I know my daughter is cute and beyond adorable but please people stop touching her hair. It isn't there for your enjoyment. She isn't going to be allowed to go around and touch everyone else's hair.
I know there is some deeper things here and this is quite possibly the tip of the iceberg in terms of things we will deal with because our family doesn't look the same. The key is going to be determining the motives behind what is being done or said. I do believe there was no malicious intent tonight at dinner just some older grandparent like people admiring a super cute and giggly baby.
How I react when I get a not so good vibe remains to be seen. The key is to model appropriate responses to Kiya all the while being her best advocate.
They don't touch my hair....I know it is because she is adorable and her hair is deemed "different" and people are curious as to what it feels like but enough is enough. As she gets older this is going to get weirder.
How am I supposed to explain to Kiya why it is that people are touching her hair yet I am teaching her to keep her hands to herself?
We were out to dinner tonight and it happened 3 times. 3 times. It was mostly older people who were talking to her. Kiya seemed fine and was quite social tonight waving at people and smiling and singing but it still really bugged me.
I mean really bugged me. I know my daughter is cute and beyond adorable but please people stop touching her hair. It isn't there for your enjoyment. She isn't going to be allowed to go around and touch everyone else's hair.
I know there is some deeper things here and this is quite possibly the tip of the iceberg in terms of things we will deal with because our family doesn't look the same. The key is going to be determining the motives behind what is being done or said. I do believe there was no malicious intent tonight at dinner just some older grandparent like people admiring a super cute and giggly baby.
How I react when I get a not so good vibe remains to be seen. The key is to model appropriate responses to Kiya all the while being her best advocate.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
More Pictures :)
So here is my first attempt at doing Peanut's hair. Not perfect but I must say pretty good for my first attempt. She did pretty well too. I found some other bands to put is her hair so next time I will try those. My guess is these will be in a few days or so and then we may try something else.
And then she was just showing off her extreme cuteness:)
Then there is the look that make me think we are going to be in TROUBLE when this little one gets older. Look at that attitude...
Here is her meager attempt at being shy.
And our first attempt at pictures with Peanut and Sebastian. Badger took off so I think that picture will be a much bigger challenge. Sebastian was being really sweet though.
And then she was just showing off her extreme cuteness:)
Then there is the look that make me think we are going to be in TROUBLE when this little one gets older. Look at that attitude...
Here is her meager attempt at being shy.
And our first attempt at pictures with Peanut and Sebastian. Badger took off so I think that picture will be a much bigger challenge. Sebastian was being really sweet though.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Leave in conditioner/hair care tips
I got a few requests for what I was using for a leave in conditioner. I went to this website:
http://motowngirl.com
and made the leave in spritz. I took 6 oz of water, 2 oz of Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner, and an ounce of olive oil and put it all in a spray bottle and shook well. It works great to tame the frizziness in Peanut's hair and was super easy to make and really quite cheap.
It does separate so I need to shake well before each use. The best part is that it isn't at all greasy and doesn't have an overwhelming strong scent.
I was going to just buy something at the store but when I walked down the aisle that had African American hair products I was slightly overwhelmed and slightly disgusted. Overwhelmed as I had no idea what to do with some of the cremes and oils and such and then disgusted because a lot as in a majority of the products on the shelf were for relaxing and straightening hair. They even had a kids version of a mild relaxer. I was shocked.
I LOVE Peanut's curly hair and want to maintain it to the best of my ability. If she chooses at some point to want to straighten it we will talk but while I am doing her hair there will be no straightening and definitely no relaxing.
http://motowngirl.com
and made the leave in spritz. I took 6 oz of water, 2 oz of Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner, and an ounce of olive oil and put it all in a spray bottle and shook well. It works great to tame the frizziness in Peanut's hair and was super easy to make and really quite cheap.
It does separate so I need to shake well before each use. The best part is that it isn't at all greasy and doesn't have an overwhelming strong scent.
I was going to just buy something at the store but when I walked down the aisle that had African American hair products I was slightly overwhelmed and slightly disgusted. Overwhelmed as I had no idea what to do with some of the cremes and oils and such and then disgusted because a lot as in a majority of the products on the shelf were for relaxing and straightening hair. They even had a kids version of a mild relaxer. I was shocked.
I LOVE Peanut's curly hair and want to maintain it to the best of my ability. If she chooses at some point to want to straighten it we will talk but while I am doing her hair there will be no straightening and definitely no relaxing.
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