Bad blogger

I am a bad blogger. I admit it. It is hard to find the time with working full time and all. I miss it. I do. I just choose to spend what little free time I have with Kiya.

So what's new? Well, Kiya is settling in to the terrible two's. Wow. That kid has some serious spunk and she will make sure anyone within a few mile radius can hear her Good thing she is so cute :) One minute she is singing and dancing and the next she is throwing a fit kicking and screaming on the floor.

She has decided that strollers are for babies and so are shopping carts. She wants to walk. She doesn't always listen but a few timeouts/ins for not listening has helped her remember to listen to mommy and daddy.

She has also become quite bossy. Her latest and I quote "Mommy, 1, 2, 3, sit down. sit down". Not sure where she picked this up but I am assuming at daycare. They must ask the kids to sit down and count....not sure but am definitely going to ask her teachers today.

We also found out that Kiya will be getting her next cast on Monday January 31st. Six days. Six days of real baths and squishy hugs left. I am full of emotions. I am thrilled that this is really going to happen but also sad that sweet Kiya's cast free days are just about over. I want so badly to hear what her xray numbers are and yet I am terrified about them. I look at her and sometimes she seems really crooked and other times not. I hate scoliosis. Hate it. But I won't let my hate stand in the way of beating it and hopefully that is what we are doing with these casts is kicking scoliosis to the curb.

Life is definitely keeping us busy. I am not loving working full time. I may inquire about reducing my hours and working part time just to gain a little more sanity if that is even possible when you live with a 2 year old.

Life

No this isn't going to be some philosophical post....trust me. It will likely be full of whining, complaining and well just my over all need to vent.

Well, to start Kiya was scheduled for her 2nd cast on Tuesday Jan. 18th. I had to call and cancel that this morning. Kiya is sick. She developed this nasty cough and  I just can't put her under anesthesia. And there is the chance that the anesthesiologist would have sent us home anyway.

So what does this mean....well to start,Kiya will be out of cast for more than 2 months. I am not happy about that but really there isn't anything I can do about that. From observation, her back looks good. As good as it can I think. I could be totally delusional and wishing that to be true but I do think that one cast got us some correction and for now that correction seems to holding. Saying prayers that that doesn't change while we wait for a new cast date.

And here is where this post gets worse.....LIFE IS UNFAIR. Yup it is true. And it goes so much beyond Kiya having to face all of these obstacles at a young age.  I got a phone call at about 1am this morning. You know when the phone rings at that hour it is never good news.  And this call was no different.

On the other end was my dearest and best friend of 20 years. She was noticeably upset. She then proceeded to tell me that her dad died.  what??? I was in shock. I think I stayed in shock until this morning when it really hit me. The man that allowed me to spend countless hours at his house in high school. He made me try duck stew. He gave me my first sip of champagne in a Dixie cup. He managed to convince the wait staff at my wedding to keep bringing him chocolate truffles.  And now he is gone. How did this happen??

I wanted nothing more than to reach through the phone and cry and hug my best friend. I still want to. It is so unfair. So unfair. He was too young. He has these 3 amazing grandkids, 2 amazing kids and an amazing wife. This family is my second family.  I feel awful. I want to be able to do something and yet there is nothing I can do.

I tried to put on a tough face and go to work this morning and I couldn't. Every time I opened  my  mouth to talk. I started to cry. It was too much. I went home.

So I am not in a great spot today. I am trying to make sense of something that just doesn't make sense. That and trying to see if I can swing plane tickets to California to hug the one person I really need to be with right now.

2 years ago

Two years ago at approximately 12:53pm, after 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day of waiting, my life forever changed with one phone call. The call that said I was finally going to be a mom after 6 long years of infertility, domestic adoption nightmares and the phrase it's a girl made all of that pain a distant memory.

Sweet Yewibdar, was a mere 5 1/2 weeks old and a very tiny 6lbs. Here is the first picture we saw of our sweet baby girl. I to this day have this picture near me in my purse and on my nightstand. 

 Here is our sweet big girl 2 years later. I can't believe it.

She went from not being on any growth chart with lots of talk about how small her head circumference was to a full fledged toddler in the 50th percentile for weight, 83rd percentile for height and 60th percentile for head circumference.

She is a walking, talking amazing little girl. She has so much to say and can be quite bossy at times but one thing has never changed. You can see the fight in her eyes even at 5 1/2 weeks. She has that same fight today and it has served her so well and always will.

So while I celebrate the joy that came to my life on this date 2 years ago, I remember the heartache experienced by another mother. That will stay with me. I owe so much more that gratitude to this woman. Her strength made my dreams come true and I hope one day I can share with her just how amazing our daughter is.