Life

No this isn't going to be some philosophical post....trust me. It will likely be full of whining, complaining and well just my over all need to vent.

Well, to start Kiya was scheduled for her 2nd cast on Tuesday Jan. 18th. I had to call and cancel that this morning. Kiya is sick. She developed this nasty cough and  I just can't put her under anesthesia. And there is the chance that the anesthesiologist would have sent us home anyway.

So what does this mean....well to start,Kiya will be out of cast for more than 2 months. I am not happy about that but really there isn't anything I can do about that. From observation, her back looks good. As good as it can I think. I could be totally delusional and wishing that to be true but I do think that one cast got us some correction and for now that correction seems to holding. Saying prayers that that doesn't change while we wait for a new cast date.

And here is where this post gets worse.....LIFE IS UNFAIR. Yup it is true. And it goes so much beyond Kiya having to face all of these obstacles at a young age.  I got a phone call at about 1am this morning. You know when the phone rings at that hour it is never good news.  And this call was no different.

On the other end was my dearest and best friend of 20 years. She was noticeably upset. She then proceeded to tell me that her dad died.  what??? I was in shock. I think I stayed in shock until this morning when it really hit me. The man that allowed me to spend countless hours at his house in high school. He made me try duck stew. He gave me my first sip of champagne in a Dixie cup. He managed to convince the wait staff at my wedding to keep bringing him chocolate truffles.  And now he is gone. How did this happen??

I wanted nothing more than to reach through the phone and cry and hug my best friend. I still want to. It is so unfair. So unfair. He was too young. He has these 3 amazing grandkids, 2 amazing kids and an amazing wife. This family is my second family.  I feel awful. I want to be able to do something and yet there is nothing I can do.

I tried to put on a tough face and go to work this morning and I couldn't. Every time I opened  my  mouth to talk. I started to cry. It was too much. I went home.

So I am not in a great spot today. I am trying to make sense of something that just doesn't make sense. That and trying to see if I can swing plane tickets to California to hug the one person I really need to be with right now.