We have sent in our official acceptance paperwork and it is already on its way to Korea. That is the good news. We are still waiting to hear from our specialist as to what we can expect now, when we can send our first care package and when it becomes really official.
So because there are a lot of unknowns and to protect our baby girl, she will be called for the time being Baby K and we won't be posting any pictures of her. You will just have to trust me that she has a full head of hair and is just plain adorable.
Baby K does have a name here at home and among family. It is the name she was given by her birth mother. Her birth mother chose for her an American first name and then a Korean middle name. We aren't going to change it. We love it and we love that it came from her mother.
For now we also aren't sharing all of the details about sweet Baby K. Some details will for sure come out and other's will stay private but for now it will be private.
This adoption is so very different. We likely won't meet Baby K's mother possibly ever. We will meet her foster mom and family which is amazing. She isn't in an orphanage as was Kiya. Things are just different. One big difference is Baby K weighed at 3 months what Kiya weighed at 6 months. Kiya was well loved and taken care of by the nannies at the care center. Baby K gets a mom figure that takes care of her. A person that she can attach too.
I am anxiously awaiting to hear what the next steps are in this long part of the process besides just waiting. We know we are being fingerprinted by USCIS in a couple weeks so that piece will be done.
So while we wait we will talk about her and look at her pictures. Kiya insists on looking at her pictures all the time. She also insists that "baby walk now". She also said today in the car that she wanted to play with Baby K. I think she is going to make an amazing big sister. It will be an adjustment and I suspect the first months home will be a challenge but in the end. I think Kiya is going to like have a sister to play with. They will be about 2 1/2 years apart in age.
Ok I am officially rambling. I am just so excited to hear the squeals of two beautiful little girls in this house. I am very blessed.
Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Guess what......IT'S A GIRL :)
We got the call on Monday afternoon. We were shocked, thrilled and super excited. It was about 4pm when I saw that I missed a call on my cell phone. I saw the phone number and my heart skipped a beat. I just knew. This was the call about our son. The day we had been waiting for.
When I called back and started talking with the social worker, she first confirmed that we were open to adopting a boy or a girl to which I responded yes. She then said well, I have some news about a referral for you. It is a baby girl. At that point, I probably should have pulled over as I was in tears. We knew it could happen but really thought we were going to have a boy. We had even started a list of boy names.
As we started to hear the details, things just clicked. This little girl fits in our family. We listened. We discussed. We sent the email of info to our international adoption doctor, the same one we used for Kiya's referral. We waited.
Our doctor called us at 6:15am on Tuesday. We were up and packing to head to the hospital for Kiya's 4th cast. I spoke with her for a few minutes. All medical info seemed in line and good. She is in the 50th percentile in most metrics. She is obviously well loved by her foster mom.
For now she will be called Baby K. She is currently 4 months old and doing very well with her foster mom. She has chubby cheeks and a head full of hair.
We now settle in to wait again. It could be up to 14 months before we travel to bring her home. Kiya is in love already. She sees her picture and says baby sister. Melts my heart every time. We showed her the picture right before we left to head to Chicago. When we stopped at the oasis for food, she asked if we were picking up baby sister now. So we told her no. I think the adoption will allow for a more open dialogue about Kiya's adoption. I know she will be a great big sister. Though this morning we asked her if she would share her toys and she said, "no my toys. not K's toys."
Never dreamed I would be blessed enough to be a mom to two beautiful girls, Kiya and baby K.
Time to shop for her first care package :)
When I called back and started talking with the social worker, she first confirmed that we were open to adopting a boy or a girl to which I responded yes. She then said well, I have some news about a referral for you. It is a baby girl. At that point, I probably should have pulled over as I was in tears. We knew it could happen but really thought we were going to have a boy. We had even started a list of boy names.
As we started to hear the details, things just clicked. This little girl fits in our family. We listened. We discussed. We sent the email of info to our international adoption doctor, the same one we used for Kiya's referral. We waited.
Our doctor called us at 6:15am on Tuesday. We were up and packing to head to the hospital for Kiya's 4th cast. I spoke with her for a few minutes. All medical info seemed in line and good. She is in the 50th percentile in most metrics. She is obviously well loved by her foster mom.
For now she will be called Baby K. She is currently 4 months old and doing very well with her foster mom. She has chubby cheeks and a head full of hair.
We now settle in to wait again. It could be up to 14 months before we travel to bring her home. Kiya is in love already. She sees her picture and says baby sister. Melts my heart every time. We showed her the picture right before we left to head to Chicago. When we stopped at the oasis for food, she asked if we were picking up baby sister now. So we told her no. I think the adoption will allow for a more open dialogue about Kiya's adoption. I know she will be a great big sister. Though this morning we asked her if she would share her toys and she said, "no my toys. not K's toys."
Never dreamed I would be blessed enough to be a mom to two beautiful girls, Kiya and baby K.
Time to shop for her first care package :)
Friday, December 3, 2010
The missing piece
I have been thinking about how to write this particular post for a while. This one is solely about our Little Man whoever he is. We have been officially waiting for 1 year well over that now but still. We got Kiya's referral in 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. We are likely still 11-12 months possibly more away from experiencing the joy that is seeing our child's face for the first time.
That said this wait isn't on my mind daily. It is there just not the same way it was the first time around. Don't get me wrong, I definitely feel the tug and there is definitely a piece missing in our family but I can't focus 2 years of my life on waiting for a phone call. I honestly don't know how first time parents are surviving the wait. Waiting for the phone to ring the first time around was VERY challenging for me. I can't go back to that place.
Some days though while driving I just can't help but think about Ethiopia, about our Little Man, about the unfortunate circumstances that will lead to him being our son. My heart aches to see his face and to know his story. I pray for his first family. My joy when that phone rings is coming with tremendous loss half way around the world.
From here on out it is possible that our son could be born at any time. His mother could be pregnant right now. He could still be just a glimmer....we just don't know. I was talking to a mom today at the store. She had a little boy and I was buying a dress for Kiya. She commented how she has all boys and couldn't buy those adorable girl dresses. I said it was likely easier on her budget. We laughed and I told her we were going to have a son too. She immediately congratulated me and asked when I was due. I laughed. I explained that we are adopting a son and hope to have him in our arms forever in early 2012. She didn't really know what to say other than good luck.
I don't really think there is luck involved in adoption. Adoption stems from a want on our end to have a son and an unfortunate set of circumstances on the other whether it be death, illness, poverty, rape, or all of the above. It isn't luck at all. It is quite sad really. We will shed tears of joy while family in Ethiopia are shedding tears of extreme sadness.
That said there is definitely a piece in my heart ready for my Little Man. I am holding it there for him when he is ready to take it. I will continue to pray for him, his mother, his family and hope that when it is supposed to be it will all go as smoothly as it can.
For now and the next year or so, I will keep my Little Man in my heart. I am ready for the missing piece to be filled and I know the heaviness that comes with that piece falling into place. Who knows maybe next year at this time my heart will be filled as just maybe I will be blessed enough to have his picture in hand and story to sort through and can begin to prepare for life as a family of 4.
That said this wait isn't on my mind daily. It is there just not the same way it was the first time around. Don't get me wrong, I definitely feel the tug and there is definitely a piece missing in our family but I can't focus 2 years of my life on waiting for a phone call. I honestly don't know how first time parents are surviving the wait. Waiting for the phone to ring the first time around was VERY challenging for me. I can't go back to that place.
Some days though while driving I just can't help but think about Ethiopia, about our Little Man, about the unfortunate circumstances that will lead to him being our son. My heart aches to see his face and to know his story. I pray for his first family. My joy when that phone rings is coming with tremendous loss half way around the world.
From here on out it is possible that our son could be born at any time. His mother could be pregnant right now. He could still be just a glimmer....we just don't know. I was talking to a mom today at the store. She had a little boy and I was buying a dress for Kiya. She commented how she has all boys and couldn't buy those adorable girl dresses. I said it was likely easier on her budget. We laughed and I told her we were going to have a son too. She immediately congratulated me and asked when I was due. I laughed. I explained that we are adopting a son and hope to have him in our arms forever in early 2012. She didn't really know what to say other than good luck.
I don't really think there is luck involved in adoption. Adoption stems from a want on our end to have a son and an unfortunate set of circumstances on the other whether it be death, illness, poverty, rape, or all of the above. It isn't luck at all. It is quite sad really. We will shed tears of joy while family in Ethiopia are shedding tears of extreme sadness.
That said there is definitely a piece in my heart ready for my Little Man. I am holding it there for him when he is ready to take it. I will continue to pray for him, his mother, his family and hope that when it is supposed to be it will all go as smoothly as it can.
For now and the next year or so, I will keep my Little Man in my heart. I am ready for the missing piece to be filled and I know the heaviness that comes with that piece falling into place. Who knows maybe next year at this time my heart will be filled as just maybe I will be blessed enough to have his picture in hand and story to sort through and can begin to prepare for life as a family of 4.
Monday, December 28, 2009
This time last year
We are rapidly approaching a very special and memorable day for our family so I went back and looked at what I was blogging about last year at this time.
I was a nut case. Certifiable indeed. I had a first class ticket to Crazytown ;). I had totally lost it and become completely consumed by my number on the unofficial list which at this date last year was 8 but number 4 for an infant. I had my cell phone practically glued to me and I cried at the drop of a hat. Yup, totally nuts.
I look back at that and wonder how in the world I will explain it to Kiya. I am not sure I will be able to. My perspective has changed so much since then and yet the anticipation of the phone ringing was all very real. It was this weird paradox of happy and sad. Happy as I was about to realize my dreams and see the face of my child for the first time and sad as I knew someone I hadn't met yet was making the hardest decision of their of life.
There were so many unknowns at this point last year. We were preparing kind of for a child but it still didn't seem real. Christmas time last year I finally let myself splurge a little and buy some baby clothes and a couple toys. Nothing overly special just something more for me to feel like I was about to have a baby.
I was in this surreal place and had recently come to peace with the wait. It took me a long time to come to peace. 9 months plus if I recall correctly. It was tough. Tougher than I thought it would be and at times I didn't handle it well. Simply put I was selfish and didn't always think about what was going on on the other side of the world.
This time last year Kiya was in the care center in Addis Ababa and we didn't even know it, yet. Weird to think about. Weird to now know she even had medical tests done on what we call Christmas. My baby girl was being loved on and waiting to meet her new family. We didn't know who she was but we did know we were ready for her. We were waiting for her to be ready for us. We had a little more waiting to do before she would be known to us.
At this time last year I had no idea that in 9 days my whole world was going to be turned upside down. Instead I stayed glued to my cell phone and prayed and waited and cried and waited and cried so more.
I was a nut case. Certifiable indeed. I had a first class ticket to Crazytown ;). I had totally lost it and become completely consumed by my number on the unofficial list which at this date last year was 8 but number 4 for an infant. I had my cell phone practically glued to me and I cried at the drop of a hat. Yup, totally nuts.
I look back at that and wonder how in the world I will explain it to Kiya. I am not sure I will be able to. My perspective has changed so much since then and yet the anticipation of the phone ringing was all very real. It was this weird paradox of happy and sad. Happy as I was about to realize my dreams and see the face of my child for the first time and sad as I knew someone I hadn't met yet was making the hardest decision of their of life.
There were so many unknowns at this point last year. We were preparing kind of for a child but it still didn't seem real. Christmas time last year I finally let myself splurge a little and buy some baby clothes and a couple toys. Nothing overly special just something more for me to feel like I was about to have a baby.
I was in this surreal place and had recently come to peace with the wait. It took me a long time to come to peace. 9 months plus if I recall correctly. It was tough. Tougher than I thought it would be and at times I didn't handle it well. Simply put I was selfish and didn't always think about what was going on on the other side of the world.
This time last year Kiya was in the care center in Addis Ababa and we didn't even know it, yet. Weird to think about. Weird to now know she even had medical tests done on what we call Christmas. My baby girl was being loved on and waiting to meet her new family. We didn't know who she was but we did know we were ready for her. We were waiting for her to be ready for us. We had a little more waiting to do before she would be known to us.
At this time last year I had no idea that in 9 days my whole world was going to be turned upside down. Instead I stayed glued to my cell phone and prayed and waited and cried and waited and cried so more.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
It's Official!
I know where are the cute pics--stay tuned as there are lots of great pics coming from Kiya's first Thanksgiving and of course 1st birthday!
But this post is for our Little Man :)
WE ARE ON THE LIST!!!!!
We got the call today. On the unofficial list we are probably around #90 and on the official list I am guessing we are near 370 or higher. So as of now we are about 2 years away from seeing our son's gorgeous face. We know that when our son is ready, he will find his way to us and we will be ready with open arms and an open heart.
The roller coaster ride is starting again and we couldn't be happier.
But this post is for our Little Man :)
WE ARE ON THE LIST!!!!!
We got the call today. On the unofficial list we are probably around #90 and on the official list I am guessing we are near 370 or higher. So as of now we are about 2 years away from seeing our son's gorgeous face. We know that when our son is ready, he will find his way to us and we will be ready with open arms and an open heart.
The roller coaster ride is starting again and we couldn't be happier.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Miss Kiya and our Little Man
Today was a day about both of our sweet children. We had our 6 month post placement meeting with our local social worker. Wow. 6 months and yet it is hard to imagine my life without her.
This was the last post placement report that our social worker will do for Kiya. We are on our own. Every May until Kiya is 18 years old, we will fill out a report and attach pictures and send it off to CHSFS. This is not an agency specific requirement but an Ethiopia requirement.
So come May I will be filling out this report and here is the scary part--Kiya will be almost 18 months old. Wow.
We also spent the morning finishing some paper work that will lead us to our little man. We are mailing application part 2 in today. Our home study is almost done and we are gathering documents for our dossier. It is going to be a whirlwind month for sure.
We are fully anticipating the wait for a referral for our little man to take 18-24 months. Officially our agency is quoting 12-18 months for a referral but having been down this path before we are setting ourselves up for a longer wait. The hardest part about waiting for Kiya was the changing timelines. We were told 6-9 months and waited 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. Currently people are waiting 16 or more months for a referral so we are figuring it will be at least 18 month but more likely closer to 24 months.
From there it will be 4-6 months after referral for travel so in our minds we are telling ourselves it will be at least 2 1/2 years before we bring our son home and maybe longer.
So at this point our little man isn't even a glimmer yet but when he is ready we will be too. In the meantime we plan on enjoying every minute with Miss Kiya. She is such a joy to be around so that isn't a hard task at all.
This was the last post placement report that our social worker will do for Kiya. We are on our own. Every May until Kiya is 18 years old, we will fill out a report and attach pictures and send it off to CHSFS. This is not an agency specific requirement but an Ethiopia requirement.
So come May I will be filling out this report and here is the scary part--Kiya will be almost 18 months old. Wow.
We also spent the morning finishing some paper work that will lead us to our little man. We are mailing application part 2 in today. Our home study is almost done and we are gathering documents for our dossier. It is going to be a whirlwind month for sure.
We are fully anticipating the wait for a referral for our little man to take 18-24 months. Officially our agency is quoting 12-18 months for a referral but having been down this path before we are setting ourselves up for a longer wait. The hardest part about waiting for Kiya was the changing timelines. We were told 6-9 months and waited 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. Currently people are waiting 16 or more months for a referral so we are figuring it will be at least 18 month but more likely closer to 24 months.
From there it will be 4-6 months after referral for travel so in our minds we are telling ourselves it will be at least 2 1/2 years before we bring our son home and maybe longer.
So at this point our little man isn't even a glimmer yet but when he is ready we will be too. In the meantime we plan on enjoying every minute with Miss Kiya. She is such a joy to be around so that isn't a hard task at all.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Little Man update
So we turned in our application and as I posted we were told that we were going to have to wait until Kiya is home 6 months to continue. Well we got a glimmer of hope last week that we might not have to wait after all.
We got an email and our application part 2 packet in the mail so we were excited to think that we were moving forward with the paperchase. Then the call came last Friday, that nope we are in fact in a holding pattern until November. Oh well....
Could we push it? Maybe. Would it work? Probably not. Could we switch agencies? Yup. Are we going to? Nope. We picked CHSFS for a reason. We trust them. It is a good fit for our family. It may not be a good fit for other families but for us it works. Will we pay more and wait longer? Maybe. But in the end it isn't about how long you wait but how ethical is your agency. In fact I get a little suspicious of agencies that pop up with just a few months to referral. Sure it could just be that they are a new agency, totally ethically and just don't have a lot of families waiting yet. Or maybe it isn't....
Also, the time spent finding another agency and learning their system may make these extra months not worth it. Our local social worker is also very familiar with the requirements for CHSFS so we know that their won't be a delay there either.
So Little Man's paper chase will pick up again in September.
We got an email and our application part 2 packet in the mail so we were excited to think that we were moving forward with the paperchase. Then the call came last Friday, that nope we are in fact in a holding pattern until November. Oh well....
Could we push it? Maybe. Would it work? Probably not. Could we switch agencies? Yup. Are we going to? Nope. We picked CHSFS for a reason. We trust them. It is a good fit for our family. It may not be a good fit for other families but for us it works. Will we pay more and wait longer? Maybe. But in the end it isn't about how long you wait but how ethical is your agency. In fact I get a little suspicious of agencies that pop up with just a few months to referral. Sure it could just be that they are a new agency, totally ethically and just don't have a lot of families waiting yet. Or maybe it isn't....
Also, the time spent finding another agency and learning their system may make these extra months not worth it. Our local social worker is also very familiar with the requirements for CHSFS so we know that their won't be a delay there either.
So Little Man's paper chase will pick up again in September.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Waiting, nesting, waiting, grumpy, waiting, more grumpy
I have said this before but I am not a patient person. All in all I feel for me I have done pretty well with waiting for our daughter. I definitely had some bumps in the road but eventually got to a zen place. Well, whatever semblance of patience I had left is gone.
We are still waiting for official approval to buy our plane tickets. I know it hasn't been that long, less than 3 business days but still I am ready. I am done waiting and done nesting and now just plain grumpy.
I don't want to be grumpy and I am trying really hard not to be grumpy but it isn't working. I still have some projects that need to be done around the house so I am trying to get to those but lack motivation. I am having the carpets cleaned today and then it is off to Target for some last minute items we need for travel. I do have a 4lb roast in the slow cooker for shredded taco meat so dinner is cooking and I will have lots of leftover to freeze.
I keep checking my email and telling myself that I will not bug my specialist again today. Did that twice yesterday. She will tell me as soon as she knows. So it is back to waiting, nesting, waiting and trying really hard not to be grumpy. I mean really I am weeks away from my dreams coming true so waiting a couple days to buy plane tickets shouldn't get to me. I realize this but it doesn't make it any easier.
We are still waiting for official approval to buy our plane tickets. I know it hasn't been that long, less than 3 business days but still I am ready. I am done waiting and done nesting and now just plain grumpy.
I don't want to be grumpy and I am trying really hard not to be grumpy but it isn't working. I still have some projects that need to be done around the house so I am trying to get to those but lack motivation. I am having the carpets cleaned today and then it is off to Target for some last minute items we need for travel. I do have a 4lb roast in the slow cooker for shredded taco meat so dinner is cooking and I will have lots of leftover to freeze.
I keep checking my email and telling myself that I will not bug my specialist again today. Did that twice yesterday. She will tell me as soon as she knows. So it is back to waiting, nesting, waiting and trying really hard not to be grumpy. I mean really I am weeks away from my dreams coming true so waiting a couple days to buy plane tickets shouldn't get to me. I realize this but it doesn't make it any easier.
Friday, January 2, 2009
I survived today and 2008
I can't believe it is Friday already. Where did the week go??? I have had a crazy day as I left my cell phone at home. I usually wouldn't care if I did that but...things are a lot different now. I realized it when I got to work so it was too late to turn back and get it. I was a nervous wreck for my entire shift. I know my specialist has my work # too but it was still bothersome to not have it. It didn't help that my work phone kept ringing today. If it wasn't a telemarketer, it was my boss and then it was another manager. I literally jumped everytime it rang only to be mildly disappointed to hear it wasn't my specialist on the other line.
I made it home and am now within reach of both my home phone and my cell phone. I am really not expecting a call today. Maybe next week or the week after would be my best guess but you never know.
We have a busy weekend of taking down Christmas decorations and cleaning. Our local social worker is coming over next week to update our home study. Can you believe it has been a year since the last time we updated?? Wow, 2008 really did fly by.
My one wish for 2008 was that it would be monumentally better than 2007. In fact that was a direct quote for a while on my Facebook page. I have since changed it. I wouldn't say 2008 was monumentally better than 2007 but it was definitely better. 2008 transformed me into a stronger, more patient, faith filled and hopeful person.
I am excited and nervous for all that 2009 will hold. The plan is to take one thing at a time and my sole focus right now is getting our referral. 2009 will be a banner year for our family and I am excited to get it moving so phone you better be ringing soon :)
I made it home and am now within reach of both my home phone and my cell phone. I am really not expecting a call today. Maybe next week or the week after would be my best guess but you never know.
We have a busy weekend of taking down Christmas decorations and cleaning. Our local social worker is coming over next week to update our home study. Can you believe it has been a year since the last time we updated?? Wow, 2008 really did fly by.
My one wish for 2008 was that it would be monumentally better than 2007. In fact that was a direct quote for a while on my Facebook page. I have since changed it. I wouldn't say 2008 was monumentally better than 2007 but it was definitely better. 2008 transformed me into a stronger, more patient, faith filled and hopeful person.
I am excited and nervous for all that 2009 will hold. The plan is to take one thing at a time and my sole focus right now is getting our referral. 2009 will be a banner year for our family and I am excited to get it moving so phone you better be ringing soon :)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Back to reality
Well, it is finally time for me to get back to reality. It was nice to have a break from work and technology for a few days.
Christmas was fabulous. There was lots of good food, drink and laughs to go around. It was great to be able to spend it with family and friends.
The biggest surprise of the last week is that we are now # 8 on the unofficial list and # 4 on that list waiting for an infant. My cell phone ringer volume is as high as it will go. I am hopeful that the next weeks will bring us amazing news. I saw that we had moved up a spot on Christmas Eve after church. I cried. I do that a lot lately.
My hubby spoiled me rotten this year. We try to set a budget and I felt bad for going a little over but 2 years in a row he has out done himself. Last year I got this amazing lamp and this year he bought me a Nintendo Wii and the Ergo baby carrier I wanted. All I asked for this year was the Ergo but he thought I needed a distraction to keep me busy over the next few months while we wait for the phone to ring and then wait for travel. Isn't he sweet? The key will be to work for an hour on the To Do list and play Wii for an hour that way I can still get things crossed off that list.
I also went on my first official baby buying spree this weekend. We went to the outlet mall near the Dells and I bought some silly looking but cute baby toys at Old Navy and 5 onesies and a sleeper set at the Carter's outlet. If we are having a boy, I am so going back to the outlets to get the cutest little whale shirt and plaid shorts I have ever seen. It was hard not to buy one of everything in the store. In fact a couple walked in behind us and the husband said "don't we already own at least 1 of everything in this store." I looked at hubby and just smiled. He rolled his eyes.
These next few weeks I will probably be in a daze. Trying to get things done around the house, trying to figure out my new toy and staring at that phone willing it to ring. Oh and our home study update is right around the corner so I need to clean the house :)
I hope everyone had safe travels, avoided crazy weather and was blessed enough to be able to spend the holidays with the ones that you love.
PS--yes I am blogging while at work. Trying to starve off the boredom :)
Christmas was fabulous. There was lots of good food, drink and laughs to go around. It was great to be able to spend it with family and friends.
The biggest surprise of the last week is that we are now # 8 on the unofficial list and # 4 on that list waiting for an infant. My cell phone ringer volume is as high as it will go. I am hopeful that the next weeks will bring us amazing news. I saw that we had moved up a spot on Christmas Eve after church. I cried. I do that a lot lately.
My hubby spoiled me rotten this year. We try to set a budget and I felt bad for going a little over but 2 years in a row he has out done himself. Last year I got this amazing lamp and this year he bought me a Nintendo Wii and the Ergo baby carrier I wanted. All I asked for this year was the Ergo but he thought I needed a distraction to keep me busy over the next few months while we wait for the phone to ring and then wait for travel. Isn't he sweet? The key will be to work for an hour on the To Do list and play Wii for an hour that way I can still get things crossed off that list.
I also went on my first official baby buying spree this weekend. We went to the outlet mall near the Dells and I bought some silly looking but cute baby toys at Old Navy and 5 onesies and a sleeper set at the Carter's outlet. If we are having a boy, I am so going back to the outlets to get the cutest little whale shirt and plaid shorts I have ever seen. It was hard not to buy one of everything in the store. In fact a couple walked in behind us and the husband said "don't we already own at least 1 of everything in this store." I looked at hubby and just smiled. He rolled his eyes.
These next few weeks I will probably be in a daze. Trying to get things done around the house, trying to figure out my new toy and staring at that phone willing it to ring. Oh and our home study update is right around the corner so I need to clean the house :)
I hope everyone had safe travels, avoided crazy weather and was blessed enough to be able to spend the holidays with the ones that you love.
PS--yes I am blogging while at work. Trying to starve off the boredom :)
Monday, December 22, 2008
Happy or Sad or a little of both???
Today marks our 11th month of waiting for our little peanut. I am not sure if I should be elated because we are so close to the life changing phone call or if I should be sad. Why sad?? Well, I can't help but think about peanut. They are probably at least at a satellite care center which means their first family has to be grieving. That family had to experience a tremendous loss in order for me to be a Mom. Sometimes that is a lot to swallow.
So I struggle with these mixed emotions and I pray that 1 month from today I am not writing a post saying we are still waiting. I want to be so happy because my dreams are about to come true but my heart feels for peanut's first family. They are giving me such an incredible gift yet they are losing a member of their immediate family. That is really emotionally taxing.
I have all these questions and what if's running through my head. Is peanut at the care center yet? Will I get to meet members of peanuts first family? Will I be able to keep Ethiopia, the culture, traditions and food a part of our lives? Will I be able to share peanut's story with them properly?
My life is about to forever change and that is exciting and scary all at the same time. I have waited a very long time for what is about to happen yet sometimes I still feel unprepared. I am sure I am not alone in this sentiment.
So I guess in answer to my title, I am a little of both. Happy beyond measure yet I have this aching in my heart. Almost like guilt... Our little peanut will be joining our family soon and I can't wait. As always, I will continue to pray for peanut, peanut's first family and the nannies, doctors, etc that may be taking care of peanut right now. Peanut, you are loved more than you know. We are ready when you are and we promise to do the best we can.
So I struggle with these mixed emotions and I pray that 1 month from today I am not writing a post saying we are still waiting. I want to be so happy because my dreams are about to come true but my heart feels for peanut's first family. They are giving me such an incredible gift yet they are losing a member of their immediate family. That is really emotionally taxing.
I have all these questions and what if's running through my head. Is peanut at the care center yet? Will I get to meet members of peanuts first family? Will I be able to keep Ethiopia, the culture, traditions and food a part of our lives? Will I be able to share peanut's story with them properly?
My life is about to forever change and that is exciting and scary all at the same time. I have waited a very long time for what is about to happen yet sometimes I still feel unprepared. I am sure I am not alone in this sentiment.
So I guess in answer to my title, I am a little of both. Happy beyond measure yet I have this aching in my heart. Almost like guilt... Our little peanut will be joining our family soon and I can't wait. As always, I will continue to pray for peanut, peanut's first family and the nannies, doctors, etc that may be taking care of peanut right now. Peanut, you are loved more than you know. We are ready when you are and we promise to do the best we can.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Reaching out
In my joy over entering the single digits on the unofficial list, I realized that there are some people I "know" who need some positive vibes or prayers or whatever kind thought you can offer. If you have read this blog, you know it took me 9 plus months to find peace in my waiting for little peanut. I had some really bad days in there and while no one can take that away, the kind words I got on those days really helped. Well, it is my turn to give back.
So for those of you who are reading this and still waiting, hope to be waiting soon or have hit a wall emotionally in your adoption journey, how can I help? I know that so many of you have helped me so far through my process and I want to pay it forward.
I make no promises just want to send good thoughts, hugs, prayers, a silly story, whatever I can do to help you get through the day, the week, the month that is bringing you down. I know it can be tough. I am sure I will have some tough days ahead but since I am doing all right at the moment, I want to reach out to those of you who might not be doing all right. I won't pretend that I have a magic cure to make the waiting any easier but I have been told I am a pretty good listener and my virtual hugs aren't that bad either. I also have really silly dogs that I love to take pictures of so if silly pug pictures could brighten your day I can help with that.
Anyway, you have a friend here if you need one. I will keep those of you I "know" and those that I don't in my prayers and will pray for better days ahead. I won't lie and tell you it gets easier; it doesn't. I was able to find peace which I am grateful for and couldn't have done that without all of the wonderful people I have met through this process so if I can in anyway help someone else find peace, I want to try. We can get through this wait, together.
So for those of you who are reading this and still waiting, hope to be waiting soon or have hit a wall emotionally in your adoption journey, how can I help? I know that so many of you have helped me so far through my process and I want to pay it forward.
I make no promises just want to send good thoughts, hugs, prayers, a silly story, whatever I can do to help you get through the day, the week, the month that is bringing you down. I know it can be tough. I am sure I will have some tough days ahead but since I am doing all right at the moment, I want to reach out to those of you who might not be doing all right. I won't pretend that I have a magic cure to make the waiting any easier but I have been told I am a pretty good listener and my virtual hugs aren't that bad either. I also have really silly dogs that I love to take pictures of so if silly pug pictures could brighten your day I can help with that.
Anyway, you have a friend here if you need one. I will keep those of you I "know" and those that I don't in my prayers and will pray for better days ahead. I won't lie and tell you it gets easier; it doesn't. I was able to find peace which I am grateful for and couldn't have done that without all of the wonderful people I have met through this process so if I can in anyway help someone else find peace, I want to try. We can get through this wait, together.
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