Trying to find my happy place....

A few months ago before we had our referral, I wrote about the things I have learned while adopting internationally and one of the things I mentioned was having questions and there not always being answers and to be prepared for delays.

Unfortunately I have had to encounter lots of questions with no answers and these lack of answers may translate into delays.

So we have learned that the US Embassy is requiring that all children be tested for TB prior to being issued a US Visa. I get that. The part that gets challenging is when are these tests done? For children under 2, a panel will review the child's history and determine if there are any physical signs and determine if they need a gastric aspiration (whatever that is) and then if that is positive they will need to stay in Ethiopia for an undetermined amount of time to be treated. So I see this going a couple of ways. 1) The panel could decide that Peanut's history looks good and there are no physical signs and all is fine or 2) The panel will decide that she needs to have this culture test done which could take up to 8 weeks to confirm a negative (but we aren't sure about that) and lastly if she is positive she would have to stay for a few months to be treated.

I have asked a lot of questions and there are no answers of yet. I apologize in advance for this next part may be quite whiny but I am grumpy! Since no one knows how this will play out it could mean that we will be delayed in being able to go get Peanut. Yes I said delayed. THAT STINKS! I am trying to stay positive and hope and pray that we aren't delayed but that is a lot easier said than done. I mean I really do understand the need for the testing but the urgency of implementing it immediately and the effects that will have on me being united with my daughter are why I am frustrated. The fact that they are implementing these new practices without being able to answer questions is infuriating. Why now? Why not in 6 months? Why not say starting May 1st at time of referral all children will be given a TB test and then go through the necessary steps. That way if the doctors need to wait for cultures, the family isn't waiting to travel but maybe still waiting for their court date and if a child needs treatment then that can be started before a family passes court so they aren't that much more delayed.

I fully realize that I am being selfish. I am trying to find my happy place. I mean I really am trying. I realize that this may all turn out fine and we won't get delayed or we will be delayed. The fact that no one has the answer to that question is frustrating.

When they tell you that International Adoption is not for the faint of heart, they mean it. This is tough. The toughest thing I have ever done and I am not sure it is any easier now that I can stare at my daughter's face on the mantel. Seeing that tiny little face makes my heart melt and being unsure of when we might be able to united with her makes my heart break.

On the plus side, 18 days until our court date.