Can we say 3 weeks???

It occurred to me today that we are 3 weeks away from our 12 months of waiting date. 3 weeks??? Can we say starting to freak out a little???? (okay A LOT)

I haven't heard from my specialist in awhile but at last word she had said that the trend was for people to get the call sometime in their 11th month of waiting whether it be 11 months and 1 day or 11 months and 29 days is impossible to predict. I have seen families get the call mere days before they hit the 12 month mark and others who got the call a few weeks before they hit 12 months.

Holy Moly! I can't think of anything else right now but my phone ringing. I have officially lost it. I am certifiable for sure. I want that phone to ring so badly and then in the back of my head I keep hearing what if it doesn't. I know crazy but International Adoption is crazy and anything could happen.

While I try to remain calm, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! May 2009 be all that you hope and want it to be. I am sure hoping that 2009 will be one of the greatest years of my life. I could use an awesome year. 2007 was a TERRIBLE year and 2008 was average at best. I am so grateful to all my family and friends for sticking with us through these last two years as rough as they may have been at times. 2009 sure looks to be the year for us and our new family. Fingers crossed for all my buddies at the top of the list may we be so blessed to hear our phone ringing soon from the 651 area code!

EDIT: No sooner did I post this that I got an email from my specialist. She said they are up to dossier dates of 1/10/08 (we are 1/22/08) and that she is pretty hopeful that we won't hit 12 months of waiting. Pretty was her word not mine and she unfortunately gave no hints as to when it might happen but soon. Okay--now I am crying, happy tears of course. I told you I was a mess :)

And then....

So I have been getting some questions about where we are and what happens next so I thought I would try to briefly summarize what exactly we are waiting for and then what happens after that.

We are still #8 on the unofficial list (bring on 2009!!!) and we are waiting for a phone call. This will be a call from our specialist letting us know we have been matched with a baby. She will tell us over the phone some basic info and email us a referral packet that has the same info. Thank goodness for email as I will be jumping up and down and crying so I don't think I would be the best listener. We then have 1 week to decide if we would like to accept the referral.

To break that down. Our specialist is going to call me as I am more readily accessible by phone though she does have our home #, my cell #, my work #, Dave's cell # and Dave's work # just in case. Depending on what time she calls it will depend on how we handle it. If we are lucky and it is my day off and before Dave leaves for work we will both take the call but that is unlikely. So I am expecting to take the call and then call Dave and we can open the email together and see a picture of our beautiful peanut. (As to why we don't conference call, Dave doesn't have an office and is in a VERY open environment with ZERO privacy so it would a lot to handle in front of co-workers, boss, etc).

I then have a list of other people to call which includes family and some dear friends. I have a feeling a lot of my day will be spent on the phone and staring at a picture. These calls are going to take a big leap of faith for me. I have had my heart broken while on this adoption journey but I am telling myself this is different. Something always felt off before, this time it doesn't. God called us to adopt from Ethiopia and in God I must trust. I will celebrate that call with everything I have in me all the while saying prayers for peanut to be healthy and the process to go smoothly. And if you thought I was a basket case before the call, I have a feeling it is only going to get worse but in a good way if that makes sense.

After we get the call, I will email the International Adoption Clinic with our referral packet for medical review. This is just a formality and not a necessity. We don't have any doubt that when we get that call that God was involved. We were supposed to be matched with this child no matter what the test results show but are getting the info reviewed so we know what to look for if anything. From there we officially accept the referral and wait some more for a court date. Court dates are about 2-3 months after referral or so it seems and then birth certificates seem to be taking about 2-3 weeks and then travel 2-3 weeks after that. The timeline says about 12-16 weeks from referral until travel but I think it will be closer to 16 weeks.

Until we pass court I cannot post pictures or names on this blog as the baby is not legally ours yet. I can share pictures privately with family and close friends and trust me the day we pass court a picture will be front and center on this blog. As for a name, that discussion is on hold. We are waiting to see what name was given to our peanut and by whom.

As always, my prayers and thoughts are with you peanut and those looking after you. We are ready for 2009 and more than ready to see your beautiful face.

Back to reality

Well, it is finally time for me to get back to reality. It was nice to have a break from work and technology for a few days.

Christmas was fabulous. There was lots of good food, drink and laughs to go around. It was great to be able to spend it with family and friends.

The biggest surprise of the last week is that we are now # 8 on the unofficial list and # 4 on that list waiting for an infant. My cell phone ringer volume is as high as it will go. I am hopeful that the next weeks will bring us amazing news. I saw that we had moved up a spot on Christmas Eve after church. I cried. I do that a lot lately.

My hubby spoiled me rotten this year. We try to set a budget and I felt bad for going a little over but 2 years in a row he has out done himself. Last year I got this amazing lamp and this year he bought me a Nintendo Wii and the Ergo baby carrier I wanted. All I asked for this year was the Ergo but he thought I needed a distraction to keep me busy over the next few months while we wait for the phone to ring and then wait for travel. Isn't he sweet? The key will be to work for an hour on the To Do list and play Wii for an hour that way I can still get things crossed off that list.

I also went on my first official baby buying spree this weekend. We went to the outlet mall near the Dells and I bought some silly looking but cute baby toys at Old Navy and 5 onesies and a sleeper set at the Carter's outlet. If we are having a boy, I am so going back to the outlets to get the cutest little whale shirt and plaid shorts I have ever seen. It was hard not to buy one of everything in the store. In fact a couple walked in behind us and the husband said "don't we already own at least 1 of everything in this store." I looked at hubby and just smiled. He rolled his eyes.

These next few weeks I will probably be in a daze. Trying to get things done around the house, trying to figure out my new toy and staring at that phone willing it to ring. Oh and our home study update is right around the corner so I need to clean the house :)

I hope everyone had safe travels, avoided crazy weather and was blessed enough to be able to spend the holidays with the ones that you love.

PS--yes I am blogging while at work. Trying to starve off the boredom :)

Merry Christmas!!

I just wanted to take a brief moment and say Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all of those that have become my blogging buds and to those that read this that I may not know about. Your grace and your kindness are much appreciated.

I will be off for awhile and away from my blog on a much needed mini vacation. I wish everyone safe travels and lots of holiday cheer.

I am currently at work watching the snow fall and hope to soon be enjoying a nice lunch with out of town friends and then lots of family time after that. From there we are heading to the Wisconsin Dells for lots of water slide fun :)

So until we meet again, relax, enjoy and keep your fingers crossed for all my fellow top of the listers that we hear amazing news very soon.

Happy or Sad or a little of both???

Today marks our 11th month of waiting for our little peanut. I am not sure if I should be elated because we are so close to the life changing phone call or if I should be sad. Why sad?? Well, I can't help but think about peanut. They are probably at least at a satellite care center which means their first family has to be grieving. That family had to experience a tremendous loss in order for me to be a Mom. Sometimes that is a lot to swallow.

So I struggle with these mixed emotions and I pray that 1 month from today I am not writing a post saying we are still waiting. I want to be so happy because my dreams are about to come true but my heart feels for peanut's first family. They are giving me such an incredible gift yet they are losing a member of their immediate family. That is really emotionally taxing.

I have all these questions and what if's running through my head. Is peanut at the care center yet? Will I get to meet members of peanuts first family? Will I be able to keep Ethiopia, the culture, traditions and food a part of our lives? Will I be able to share peanut's story with them properly?

My life is about to forever change and that is exciting and scary all at the same time. I have waited a very long time for what is about to happen yet sometimes I still feel unprepared. I am sure I am not alone in this sentiment.

So I guess in answer to my title, I am a little of both. Happy beyond measure yet I have this aching in my heart. Almost like guilt... Our little peanut will be joining our family soon and I can't wait. As always, I will continue to pray for peanut, peanut's first family and the nannies, doctors, etc that may be taking care of peanut right now. Peanut, you are loved more than you know. We are ready when you are and we promise to do the best we can.

O Snowy day...

Well I have a snow day today :) I was supposed to be at work at 5:30am and that was so not going to happen. By 9:30am, hubby had decided he would stay home today as well and was going to drive me to work. Well, we have to drive on a 2 lane road to get to my job and that road was not plowed at all. It was terrifying. I called my boss to let her know there was no way I was going to make it in today. We then started our journey to try and turn around and get home.

I am a TERRIBLE backseat, nervous driver so I was freaking out a little. Ok a lot. This was a two lane road, one lane each direction well it was so poorly plowed it was a one way street and you just had to pray no one came from the other direction. Well they did and we were on the shoulder at one point. All in all it took us about 40 minutes to reroute ourselves back home. We headed for more major roads so we didn't have to get back on that dreaded road.

So what to do on this snowy day...well I still have Christmas cards to address and gifts to wrap. I have lots of time to add things to the baby registry and then there is some house cleaning to do.

Oh and I am sure after the plow has gone by a few more times we will have to dig ourselves out again...

Who knew...

Okay so after my last post and the kind comments as well as the nice posts from the forum, I have started a registry at Babies R Us.

I have spent the better part of 3 hours now searching and looking for things to add to the registry. Wow, who knew that there were some many baby products to choose from. It has been fun but a tad overwhelming at the same time.

I still have more things to go through and add. I also need to add clothes and bedding, but need to wait until we are closer and until we know if it is a boy or a girl. I really started to feel like an expectant parent. I can't thank everyone enough for the encouragement.

Babies R Us even asks if you are adopting and you can put in the date you hope to be home with your baby. I thought that was pretty neat. I right now have entered May 20th as the date we hope to be home with baby. Why that date??? My USCIS fingerprints expire on that date and I am really hoping to be back in the US by then so I don't have to go through the process to update them. It isn't a tough process to update but just another thing to get done.

So the adventure of baby registries has begun. I am open to suggestions for "must haves" from other Moms. Okay back to checking out umbrella strollers and jumparoos...