Done

I have just finished reading "There is no me without you." Wow.... This book touched a place in me that I didn't know existed. The courageous story of a simple woman out to care for the orphaned children of Ethiopia some with HIV and some without. The struggles both personal and professional and her strength and sometimes her weakness really touched a soft spot in my soul.

I have learned so much about the birth place of my daughter. Everything from how to correctly pronounce Addis (ah-deece) Ababa (a-bah bah) to the inner struggles to live day to day with nothing and sometimes there really was nothing. This place was such a mystery to me and much of it always will be yet I felt that by reading this book, I got to look at a small slice of the mystery. To read about the heartbreaking separation of children from their families was unbelievably moving. To read about the struggles of young mothers and fathers trying desperately to raise their families. To read about how AIDS nearly devastated the entire country and if it weren't for a brave few I am not sure what Ethiopia would look like right now. Needless to say I cried at many points throughout this book.

I cried out of frustration with the system. I cried for the children and their parents. I cried for the adoptive parents and their faith and belief that everything will be okay. I cried sometimes out of sheer anger. Anger that there wasn't a simple solution; that we couldn't wave a magic wand and make the heartache, the desperation, death all go away. I cried as the newly American children relived their grief and remembered their life in Ethiopia. I cried because it so important that my daughter knows Ethiopia and knows the beauty of her homeland and her culture. I cried for my daughter. She will not remember Ethiopia. She will know only the things we share with her and then when we take her to see it for herself, I can only hope the she realizes we tried to do right by Ethiopia.

I am really glad that I took the time to read this book. I fully understand why it is on every Adoptive Parents 'must read' list. I am not sure I have processed all of this book yet. There are many questions in my head and I am sure some of the answers are out there and some may not be.

I am on a mission. While we are in Ethiopia, I am going to write down everything and anything I can no matter how trivial it may seem. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the weather, the signs, everything. I am there to learn and soak up as much as I can so I can pass that on to my daughter. I always knew that I wanted to do that but somehow this book reinforced the importance of that. Reading about the newly adopted children and their new families gave me a little perspective.

This is so much bigger than me having a daughter. I am adding a daughter yes but also her birth family into my heart. I hope I am blessed enough to meet someone in Peanut's birth family. I want to tell them that we will love her with all our hearts and promise them that she will know Ethiopia. That we are not 2 separate families anymore but we are joined as one because of the love we share for Peanut. I realize this may not happen but for now I need to hold on to that. I will deal with that loss if I must when the time comes and I will find a way to explain all of this to Peanut when she is old enough.

Keeping Busy

I am tyring to keep myself busy so I don't count the days until our court date (38) all the time. February has been a good distraction with lots of plans on the weekends but my days off are what is tough.

I really have no desire to keep cleaning closets and organizing stuff yet that is the stuff that needs to get done. So what did I do today??? Nope didn't clean any closets...

I ordered copies of my birth certificate, copies of our marriage licence and copies of Dave's birth certificate. Now why did I do this...Well we know that we are going to adopt again and most likely again after that (Yes if you are the counting type, we would LOVE to have 3 children).
And me not knowing what I was doing the first time around didn't order enough copies of vital records so I figured why not order them now and then when we can start filling out paperwork again I won't have to wait for those. Yeah! Just wish I would have thought about this the first time. Getting vital records from CA is a process.

Other than that I am ordering new blinds for the back of our house. You see we only did the front of the house and just hung cheap curtains in the other windows and those just don't keep the light out of a sleeping babies room.

I am also going to schedule carpet cleaning for sometime in the next 2 months that way all the carpets will be clean for Peanut's arrival. I will most likely jump back on the cleaning/organizing wagon soon. I want to clean out the pantry, finish the office which I haven't gotten back to since referral day and plan a list of food to cook in advance and freeze for when we are first home with Peanut.

So I definitely have things to do but it is just so hard to put down a good book. Yes, still reading "There is no me without you". My heart just aches for these children and yet I am inspired by the kindness of some and shocked by the greed of others. Still pondering all of this and my what my role could be to do more...

Great read!

I am blogging from work as we have no Internet at our house right now. Yesterday one of my blogging buddies had a guest blogger Rebecca Haile author of the book "Held at a Distance."

Here is the link to her blog: http://theeyesofmyeyesareopened.blogspot.com/

It is definitely worth reading and reflecting upon. I have yet to read her book but it is on my short list for sure. I am still thinking about that post and my role in raising my daughter to understand Ethiopia.

In Peanut news: We got a developmental check list for Peanut. We know just a little bit more about our sweet baby girl. We know that she squeals, is calmed by touch, can kick her legs while laying on her back, can bring her hands to her mouth, can track objects with her eyes, and a special someone told me she sucks her thumb. How cute! I hate that I can't see her doing all of these things but I have comfort in knowing that the nannies are amazing and that all of her needs are being met.

Fun books for Peanut

I was looking for a specific book that I learned about on one of my buddy's blogs called "Motherbridge of Love" and I couldn't find it. So I started looking for a couple other books in the children's section. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find children's books? Much less children's books geared to telling adoption related stories at an age appropriate level?? VERY CHALLENGING!!! The books are supposedly in alphabetical order by author yet all of the books I was looking for were nowhere to be found. I will most likely buy them online as I was very frustrated with the Barnes and Nobles children's section. I found the books on their website yet the clerk I asked couldn't even find the books I was looking for in their computer. Weird.

I have already purchased some great books on www.amharickids.com that we can read to peanut and show her about Ethiopia but I definitely need more adoption related children's books. I have found lots geared towards Chinese adoption or international adoption in general that are fabulous but nothing Ethiopia specific. Any ideas???

One good thing came from my search though....


Who knew there was a book called "Peanut". It is a cute little story with a monkey and a beetle. However the monkey is so tiny, he thinks he is a Peanut and he names himself Peanut. He goes on to make friends with all the other animals around him. Peanut and the beetle are best friends and look out for each other in the forest. Yeah!

I bought another book by Karen Katz, called "Princess Baby". It was just to pink and too cute not to pass up. I took a picture of that too but my laptop is not cooperating so you'll just have to take my word for it.

In adoption news: Still waiting for a court date....hopefully we hear something soon. I am guessing we will hear what our court date is either at the end of this week or sometime next week. I would LOVE it if we were fortunate enough to be assigned a date in March but I am trying to remain realistic and plan for an April court date. There are some families that have court dates this week and next so hopefully all goes well and there will be lots of good news floating around the forum.