I have been having a hard time finding the time to blog. Something that I love to do....such is the life of a busy stay at home mom.
So where are we, well lets just say it's complicated.
Katie has been home 2 months now. She is such a snugly and opinionated child. She has a lot to say and is learning new words it seems daily. She has some aggression in her and if she doesn't get what she wants or if big sis is bugging her she will lash out and hit you. Not fun and something we are working on. She also tends to scream at you...especially if you dare say "Katie come here". sigh....on the plus side I am becoming quite creative in the words I choose to use. Don't get me wrong, she really is a wonderful little girl and very very smart, she like big sis is full of personality and attitude and that can be challenging at times.
Kiya is cast free this week. She is doing okay with it. Her balance is out of whack and she is moving with less confidence then she normally does. This was very apparent during Trick or Treating. I hate this week. I hate scoliosis. I hate what I fear we are going to hear come Monday after her fabulous black and pink cast #9 goes on. I keep hearing stuck and no change over and over in my head. I can see it. I see her shoulder dip. I see her curve. To say that I am beyond frustrated and heart broken is an understatement.
I wish there was a guarantee or answer that what we are doing casting will work but sadly there is not. I fear we will be at a crossroad soon and need to make some difficult decisions. It is tough. So tough and I honestly can say right now I don't know what to do. Part of me says keep on casting because we can do that. We know cast life. The other part of me says casts aren't doing it, she is very likely going to have to have surgery so why continue with casts. Give her a brace. Let her gain some strength and wait it out in a brace until she is older. Brace life brings a whole new set of challenges but is it what is best...I am torn.
The upside to all of this is Kiya. She is truly one remarkable kid. 12 weeks ago she had a hard time walking up a flight of stairs in her cast without help. She has worked hard everyday of these last twelve weeks to not only walk up and down the stairs by herself but even alternating feet. And now that she is cast free, she can still walk those same flights of stairs without help and alternating her feet. The first few days cast free she wanted help and said I can't. We encouraged and supported but told her to try and do it herself. She did it and she was so proud of herself. Kiya gives me hope that no matter where this crazy road will take us, she will be okay. She is a fighter.
So there you have it nothing glamorous but it is our reality right now. I am tired a lot and in need of a break. Luckily there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Moms weekend! I cannot wait for the 2 days I get to spend with some of the best people I know. No hospitals, no siblings fighting, no mealtime stress, just two days of girl time and a Twilight movie.
I promise my next post will have pictures from Halloween. My Sleeping Beauty and her lady bug side kick had a blast.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
5 weeks
Another week has flown by and things are going well. As anticipated we face new challenges and hit new highlights.
Highlights:
Katie: Katie is babbling and talking a lot. While she doesn't use a lot of English words or use the ones she does have often she is understanding so much. She does say happy and mama a lot. We are thinking her next official words might be "what" which Kiya says all the time and puppy. She is finally willing to walk regularly while holding one of our fingers. I can even get out of the car at preschool and have her walk with me all the way to Kiya's classroom which is a pretty good distance. This is saving my back :) She is also more willing to walk up and down stairs with help of course. She will do the entire flight of stairs instead of just stopping after one or two steps. She at this point seems to be able to sleep through the loudness that is my early rising Kiya so that is great.
Kiya: While at dinner the other night Kiya wrote her name. It was so legible and really quite good for almost 4. We are so proud of her. She loves learning new things. She insists during her special time with mommy that she practice her letters, or do snip soup to work on her scissor skills, or do puzzles or other learning notebooks that she has. She is very bright and very well spoken. She really wants to learn how to read and is trying to point to the right words when we are reading books. I just ordered some early reading books from her school book club. While she keeps me on my toes I love the conversations we have a bout serious stuff like adoption and why we can't just leave the water running to silly stuff like why I don't drive a pink van. We did implement a happy chart for her. If she has a fabulous day at school she gets a sticker and when her chart is full she gets a prize. She really wants these princess dishes at Target. She has had two happy days so far, one at each school.
Me: I am hitting my stride and seem to have a more regular schedule now. I am comfortable getting both girls up and ready and out of the house. I try to take Kiya to school without Katie but that doesn't always work. I am grateful that Dave helps with Katie if I am trying to get Kiya to eat breakfast. I can go shopping with both girls and we all survive the affair and I am getting better at balancing my time between the two girls when we are all home together.
Challenges:
Katie: She is a precocious little one. She gets into everything. She is starting to show a sneaky side where she waits to see if you are watching her and then does something she has just been told and shown not to do. She also has quite the little temper. She is fast approaching 2 and while 2 was a walk in the park the first time around I am thinking we may have our hands full since Katie won't have the language part like Kiya did. We shall see I suppose. We are still trying to figure out if she is allergic to something...my fear is milk. I am hoping the nurse will call me back today and we can set up a plan to get this figured out. Katie also likes to point with her middle finger. In Korea this means nothing but many a person including Kiya has picked up on her doing this and even commented on it. We are working on it and Kiya knows that she is to never do it as it means something naughty.
Kiya: Kiya has good days and not so good days. 4 or almost 4 has been tough on her. She is very sensitive and dramatic and emotional. She still cries a few times a week that she is missing mommy. The worst being went I spent 4 hours with her watching movies and undoing her braids. We were literally inches away from each other, sharing snacks and laughs and frustrations. After we were done she was watching a show and I went to check my email in the same room and I heard her crying. She said she misses mommy and needs a hug. Those moments are getting less frequent and we had a happy Kiya most of the weekend so that was great. School drop off this morning was easier than it has been in weeks so not sure if that will turn out to be a good or bad thing.
Me: Still working on that patience thing. Kiya and I are a lot a like that way which makes things interesting. I am insisting on quiet time for Kiya most days in her room. She can nap if she wants but she usually doesn't so I can have just a few moments to myself. I am finding the lack of time to do anything productive really hard. Nap time is the best time to do things but also the only time I have to just sit and relax for the most part until after bedtime anyway. I am still getting used to this stay at home mom thing and wish on most days I could snap my fingers and someone would fold all the laundry or clean out my garage. One day at a time.
So there you have it in all its glory. I am loving everyday of this new adventure and feel very blessed. At the same time I am exhausted most days and so very grateful that both of my girls are wonderful sleepers. This whole thing would be so much harder if I was sleep deprived too.
Highlights:
Katie: Katie is babbling and talking a lot. While she doesn't use a lot of English words or use the ones she does have often she is understanding so much. She does say happy and mama a lot. We are thinking her next official words might be "what" which Kiya says all the time and puppy. She is finally willing to walk regularly while holding one of our fingers. I can even get out of the car at preschool and have her walk with me all the way to Kiya's classroom which is a pretty good distance. This is saving my back :) She is also more willing to walk up and down stairs with help of course. She will do the entire flight of stairs instead of just stopping after one or two steps. She at this point seems to be able to sleep through the loudness that is my early rising Kiya so that is great.
Kiya: While at dinner the other night Kiya wrote her name. It was so legible and really quite good for almost 4. We are so proud of her. She loves learning new things. She insists during her special time with mommy that she practice her letters, or do snip soup to work on her scissor skills, or do puzzles or other learning notebooks that she has. She is very bright and very well spoken. She really wants to learn how to read and is trying to point to the right words when we are reading books. I just ordered some early reading books from her school book club. While she keeps me on my toes I love the conversations we have a bout serious stuff like adoption and why we can't just leave the water running to silly stuff like why I don't drive a pink van. We did implement a happy chart for her. If she has a fabulous day at school she gets a sticker and when her chart is full she gets a prize. She really wants these princess dishes at Target. She has had two happy days so far, one at each school.
Me: I am hitting my stride and seem to have a more regular schedule now. I am comfortable getting both girls up and ready and out of the house. I try to take Kiya to school without Katie but that doesn't always work. I am grateful that Dave helps with Katie if I am trying to get Kiya to eat breakfast. I can go shopping with both girls and we all survive the affair and I am getting better at balancing my time between the two girls when we are all home together.
Challenges:
Katie: She is a precocious little one. She gets into everything. She is starting to show a sneaky side where she waits to see if you are watching her and then does something she has just been told and shown not to do. She also has quite the little temper. She is fast approaching 2 and while 2 was a walk in the park the first time around I am thinking we may have our hands full since Katie won't have the language part like Kiya did. We shall see I suppose. We are still trying to figure out if she is allergic to something...my fear is milk. I am hoping the nurse will call me back today and we can set up a plan to get this figured out. Katie also likes to point with her middle finger. In Korea this means nothing but many a person including Kiya has picked up on her doing this and even commented on it. We are working on it and Kiya knows that she is to never do it as it means something naughty.
Kiya: Kiya has good days and not so good days. 4 or almost 4 has been tough on her. She is very sensitive and dramatic and emotional. She still cries a few times a week that she is missing mommy. The worst being went I spent 4 hours with her watching movies and undoing her braids. We were literally inches away from each other, sharing snacks and laughs and frustrations. After we were done she was watching a show and I went to check my email in the same room and I heard her crying. She said she misses mommy and needs a hug. Those moments are getting less frequent and we had a happy Kiya most of the weekend so that was great. School drop off this morning was easier than it has been in weeks so not sure if that will turn out to be a good or bad thing.
Me: Still working on that patience thing. Kiya and I are a lot a like that way which makes things interesting. I am insisting on quiet time for Kiya most days in her room. She can nap if she wants but she usually doesn't so I can have just a few moments to myself. I am finding the lack of time to do anything productive really hard. Nap time is the best time to do things but also the only time I have to just sit and relax for the most part until after bedtime anyway. I am still getting used to this stay at home mom thing and wish on most days I could snap my fingers and someone would fold all the laundry or clean out my garage. One day at a time.
So there you have it in all its glory. I am loving everyday of this new adventure and feel very blessed. At the same time I am exhausted most days and so very grateful that both of my girls are wonderful sleepers. This whole thing would be so much harder if I was sleep deprived too.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
4 weeks home
Another week in the books :)
Highlights:
Katie: Katie is talking up a storm. Most of it is still babble but you can hear her working through sounds. She has picked up a couple new words: Hi and Happy. We think she has also said dog. She knows what a dog is as when we say dog she will point to one of the dogs. We are working on body parts and sometimes if I ask her where her nose is she will point correctly to her nose or mine. She is also starting to get better at holding my hand and walking which she had previously refused to do. Same with stairs. She had no interest in walking up or down stairs and now with help she will do a few and twice has walked all the way up the stairs holding on to one or both of my hands.
Kiya: Kiya is truly a remarkable kid. She is responsible and loving and I rely on her for help. I can give her directions like go feed the dogs and she can go do it by herself. She is such a big girl. This morning I really wanted to take a shower and Katie was still sleeping but woke up just as I was finishing up. Kiya went in and kept her company and played with her. She loves being a big sister most of the time. Kiya is also determined to wear underwear to bed at night. Her goal is to stay dry for 2 weeks straight and then we will do underwear. We have 5 days down :) So proud of her and it is so true that kids will do these things when they want to not when mommy and daddy want them to.
Me: I am getting into a rhythm. I am starting to feel more comfortable with Katie and taking care of both girls together. I even ventured out this last week with the two of them which was a first. Kiya and I got flu shots and then we went to the coffee shop and then the grocery store. We did it. We survived and all parties left smiling as we headed home for lunch.
Challenges:
Katie: We aren't really sure what is going on it could be a total change in diet, a food insensitivity or teething but let's just say Katie's diapers are less than fun to change. We have good days and bad which leads me to think her little body is still adjusting but there are some trends emerging that have some things like milk or gluten issues on our radar. I have talked to the nurse so we are keeping an eye on things and giving her some more time to adjust. Katie also appears to be getting her first cold with us anyway :( Poor thing has a constant face full of snot.
Kiya: Well Kiya is still having some emotional days at school. She is mostly fine at her private school. It is her old school that is the problem. I am not really sure what it going on. Her best friend is there and gets super excited when Kiya shows up but Kiya just shuts down. Yesterday she refused to participate in art and spent a lot of time by herself looking at our family picture. I have tried talking to her about it and she says she misses her mama. We have read and re-read and read again Llama Llama Misses Mama. We are 3 weeks into her new schedule so I am hoping in time she will adjust and get used to it. She has told me that Monday she will be happy at school so we shall see.
Me: I don't have a lot of patience and I never really did. Some days I have more than others. I am trying to find some as I need it with two very loud, very silly and very messy girls. I am also not a baby person so things like spoon feeding, diaper changing are not my favorite past times. I need to learn to enjoy the little things. She is going to grow up so fast and I know I will miss those little times where she spits cereal at me or slyly feeds the dogs. I also need to learn to let go. I want Kiya to learn things at her pace. Things like writing her letters. She asks to practice and I have to learn to not get annoyed when she doesn't do it like I want her too. I need to be better at encouraging her free spirit and give her the time to figure it out for herself.
Overall we are really doing quite well. Time is the key to this all getting easier. For now trying to soak up every moment I can as my girls are growing up too fast.
Highlights:
Katie: Katie is talking up a storm. Most of it is still babble but you can hear her working through sounds. She has picked up a couple new words: Hi and Happy. We think she has also said dog. She knows what a dog is as when we say dog she will point to one of the dogs. We are working on body parts and sometimes if I ask her where her nose is she will point correctly to her nose or mine. She is also starting to get better at holding my hand and walking which she had previously refused to do. Same with stairs. She had no interest in walking up or down stairs and now with help she will do a few and twice has walked all the way up the stairs holding on to one or both of my hands.
Kiya: Kiya is truly a remarkable kid. She is responsible and loving and I rely on her for help. I can give her directions like go feed the dogs and she can go do it by herself. She is such a big girl. This morning I really wanted to take a shower and Katie was still sleeping but woke up just as I was finishing up. Kiya went in and kept her company and played with her. She loves being a big sister most of the time. Kiya is also determined to wear underwear to bed at night. Her goal is to stay dry for 2 weeks straight and then we will do underwear. We have 5 days down :) So proud of her and it is so true that kids will do these things when they want to not when mommy and daddy want them to.
Me: I am getting into a rhythm. I am starting to feel more comfortable with Katie and taking care of both girls together. I even ventured out this last week with the two of them which was a first. Kiya and I got flu shots and then we went to the coffee shop and then the grocery store. We did it. We survived and all parties left smiling as we headed home for lunch.
Challenges:
Katie: We aren't really sure what is going on it could be a total change in diet, a food insensitivity or teething but let's just say Katie's diapers are less than fun to change. We have good days and bad which leads me to think her little body is still adjusting but there are some trends emerging that have some things like milk or gluten issues on our radar. I have talked to the nurse so we are keeping an eye on things and giving her some more time to adjust. Katie also appears to be getting her first cold with us anyway :( Poor thing has a constant face full of snot.
Kiya: Well Kiya is still having some emotional days at school. She is mostly fine at her private school. It is her old school that is the problem. I am not really sure what it going on. Her best friend is there and gets super excited when Kiya shows up but Kiya just shuts down. Yesterday she refused to participate in art and spent a lot of time by herself looking at our family picture. I have tried talking to her about it and she says she misses her mama. We have read and re-read and read again Llama Llama Misses Mama. We are 3 weeks into her new schedule so I am hoping in time she will adjust and get used to it. She has told me that Monday she will be happy at school so we shall see.
Me: I don't have a lot of patience and I never really did. Some days I have more than others. I am trying to find some as I need it with two very loud, very silly and very messy girls. I am also not a baby person so things like spoon feeding, diaper changing are not my favorite past times. I need to learn to enjoy the little things. She is going to grow up so fast and I know I will miss those little times where she spits cereal at me or slyly feeds the dogs. I also need to learn to let go. I want Kiya to learn things at her pace. Things like writing her letters. She asks to practice and I have to learn to not get annoyed when she doesn't do it like I want her too. I need to be better at encouraging her free spirit and give her the time to figure it out for herself.
Overall we are really doing quite well. Time is the key to this all getting easier. For now trying to soak up every moment I can as my girls are growing up too fast.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Thank you social media
I was eating breakfast yesterday morning with the girls and was browsing facebook. I am part of a number of different groups for Ethiopian adoption, Korean adoption, scoliosis, etc. I stopped by one of my Korean adoption groups and a family had posted their adoption video. I am a sucker for those so I went to watch it.
As I read a little more and got the password to watch it, I noticed that this little guy had the same foster mom as Katie. Not that shocking as Katie's foster mom has been one since 1986 and Katie was her 111th foster child.
Now here comes the shocking part...this little guy and Katie shared 11 months together with their foster mom. He is older than Katie by about 7 months or so. I had no idea that Katie had a foster brother...none. He lives in Florida now with his amazing parents who posted their video.
After a few private messages, I learned that they did know there was another child in the home. I also learned that Katie wasn't sleeping on a mattress with foster mom like we were told but was actually sleeping with her foster dad. We have zero pictures of him and don't even know his name. The little guys mom and I don't have any pictures of our kids together. They did share clothes though. She has pictures and I have pictures of them wearing the same yellow turtleneck and Katie was wearing a jacket that they had sent their son.
It was really neat to be able to get more info about Katie's early months, to find a connection out there. The even stranger part is that they have family that live in Wisconsin and will be here at the end of the year for a visit. It isn't that far from us and we may try and reunite their little guy with Katie.
So that is all the warm a fuzzies...here is the part where I am frustrated and a little mad.
I want to know why we didn't know there was another child in the house? Not a big deal really but would have been nice to know. We could have connected with this other family sooner. I have sent an email to my social worker asking her some questions to see if we can get a clearer picture.
I am frustrated that pieces of Katie's story are different than what we thought. I am sad that we have so very little info to give her. We don't even know her mother or father's first name. Now I find out that she may have been closer to foster dad??? We don't know who he is....it does help understand why maybe Katie reached out to Dave first and why there weren't and haven't been a whole lot of tears. She barely cried when her foster mom handed her to us. It was kind of sad. I could tell that her foster mom cared for her and took good care of her and for that I am grateful.
I have these two amazing kids with two very different stories. At least for Kiya I can tell her something about her mom. I hate that I can't do that for Katie. Don't get me wrong I knew that going in and always said well at least I can tell her about her foster mom but what if that isn't the person she wasn't the closest too.
I know that Katie is going to have questions and be confused. Not one person thinks my sweet girl is Korean at all and yet part of her is. This alone will be challenging for her add to that not knowing anything about where she came from...it breaks my heart for her.
I will be the best advocate I can for her. I will do my best to stay in touch with her foster brother's family. I will keep sending pictures to foster mom even though she didn't want direct contact with us. I have given her my email address in hopes that she will reach out to us. Who knows.
Adoption is not easy and raises so many questions. I know as both of my girls grow up they are going to ask questions and as their mom I will do my best and find a way to help them both put the pieces together.
As I read a little more and got the password to watch it, I noticed that this little guy had the same foster mom as Katie. Not that shocking as Katie's foster mom has been one since 1986 and Katie was her 111th foster child.
Now here comes the shocking part...this little guy and Katie shared 11 months together with their foster mom. He is older than Katie by about 7 months or so. I had no idea that Katie had a foster brother...none. He lives in Florida now with his amazing parents who posted their video.
After a few private messages, I learned that they did know there was another child in the home. I also learned that Katie wasn't sleeping on a mattress with foster mom like we were told but was actually sleeping with her foster dad. We have zero pictures of him and don't even know his name. The little guys mom and I don't have any pictures of our kids together. They did share clothes though. She has pictures and I have pictures of them wearing the same yellow turtleneck and Katie was wearing a jacket that they had sent their son.
It was really neat to be able to get more info about Katie's early months, to find a connection out there. The even stranger part is that they have family that live in Wisconsin and will be here at the end of the year for a visit. It isn't that far from us and we may try and reunite their little guy with Katie.
So that is all the warm a fuzzies...here is the part where I am frustrated and a little mad.
I want to know why we didn't know there was another child in the house? Not a big deal really but would have been nice to know. We could have connected with this other family sooner. I have sent an email to my social worker asking her some questions to see if we can get a clearer picture.
I am frustrated that pieces of Katie's story are different than what we thought. I am sad that we have so very little info to give her. We don't even know her mother or father's first name. Now I find out that she may have been closer to foster dad??? We don't know who he is....it does help understand why maybe Katie reached out to Dave first and why there weren't and haven't been a whole lot of tears. She barely cried when her foster mom handed her to us. It was kind of sad. I could tell that her foster mom cared for her and took good care of her and for that I am grateful.
I have these two amazing kids with two very different stories. At least for Kiya I can tell her something about her mom. I hate that I can't do that for Katie. Don't get me wrong I knew that going in and always said well at least I can tell her about her foster mom but what if that isn't the person she wasn't the closest too.
I know that Katie is going to have questions and be confused. Not one person thinks my sweet girl is Korean at all and yet part of her is. This alone will be challenging for her add to that not knowing anything about where she came from...it breaks my heart for her.
I will be the best advocate I can for her. I will do my best to stay in touch with her foster brother's family. I will keep sending pictures to foster mom even though she didn't want direct contact with us. I have given her my email address in hopes that she will reach out to us. Who knows.
Adoption is not easy and raises so many questions. I know as both of my girls grow up they are going to ask questions and as their mom I will do my best and find a way to help them both put the pieces together.
Monday, September 24, 2012
3 weeks home
We have been home for 3 weeks. So hard to believe...time does sure fly by when you are busy trying to keep up with 2 kids.
As expected we have had new challenges and new highlights.
Highlights:
-Katie is up to 5 English words. She is learning more and more everyday and today I caught her trying to sing along with the Leap Frog alphabet thing on the refrigerator. She is sleeping really well at bedtime and naptime. She has stopped screaming at us and when she wakes up she just goes to her gate and fusses but no actual tears. Today I talked to her over the baby monitor to let her know I was on my way and she quieted down and then when she saw me she was practically jumping up and down she was so exited.
-Kiya is a great helper often volunteering to clean up toys all on her own. She most of the time plays nicely with her sister and seems to really love her. She is still working on staying dry all night and when she does she gets a star on her board and when the board is full she gets a prize. Well her board was full so this weekend she got a prize. She picked sparkly Hello Kitty shoes. I can't say I was surprised. So in the last 11 days she has been dry all night for 8 of them. She is a VERY sound sleeper and as an infant I could change her diaper without waking her up that is how well she sleeps. So I knew this part of potty training would take time but she is doing great!
-As for me I am really falling for the littlest one. She is such a sweetie and so funny. I love that goofy grin she gives me and we are really starting to connect. It is feeling more natural now.
Challenges:
-Katie is in to everything. She tends to throw things, chase the dogs and today climbed out of bed at naptime and took all of the books out of her basket. I am so not used to having a kid this mobile at this age that is so curious.
-Kiya is struggling at school. She has gone to this school since she was 9 months old. She is in class again with her best friend and yet she is getting really sad and even crying. Kiya has never been much of a crier. She is however very sensitive and very dramatic. They said she did better today but still sad and just standing off to the side by herself. When you ask her why she is sad she says " I miss my mommy." So this weekend as a treat, I took Kiya shopping and then to a movie. Let's just say we didn't have the best time and Kiya was VERY moody. We both ended the afternoon in tears.
-As for me I am struggling to balance taking care of two kids and the housework. I have no system in place and most days am overwhelmed by the shear mess two little kids can make. I am thankful I have house cleaners that come every two weeks as I then have to clean up the clutter so they can do the other stuff. I am also struggling to not be so hard on Kiya. I know this is hard on her and I wasn't prepared for her reaction. Some days I have very little patience and can be snippy with the kids, the dogs, my husband. I am tired a lot and don't have a lot of energy. I am working on it and I find as my attachment and bonding to Katie get stronger things seem better.
So there you have the reality of life for us right now. I have another post brewing....we were surprised today to learn that Katie has a foster brother. More on that next time.
As expected we have had new challenges and new highlights.
Highlights:
-Katie is up to 5 English words. She is learning more and more everyday and today I caught her trying to sing along with the Leap Frog alphabet thing on the refrigerator. She is sleeping really well at bedtime and naptime. She has stopped screaming at us and when she wakes up she just goes to her gate and fusses but no actual tears. Today I talked to her over the baby monitor to let her know I was on my way and she quieted down and then when she saw me she was practically jumping up and down she was so exited.
-Kiya is a great helper often volunteering to clean up toys all on her own. She most of the time plays nicely with her sister and seems to really love her. She is still working on staying dry all night and when she does she gets a star on her board and when the board is full she gets a prize. Well her board was full so this weekend she got a prize. She picked sparkly Hello Kitty shoes. I can't say I was surprised. So in the last 11 days she has been dry all night for 8 of them. She is a VERY sound sleeper and as an infant I could change her diaper without waking her up that is how well she sleeps. So I knew this part of potty training would take time but she is doing great!
-As for me I am really falling for the littlest one. She is such a sweetie and so funny. I love that goofy grin she gives me and we are really starting to connect. It is feeling more natural now.
Challenges:
-Katie is in to everything. She tends to throw things, chase the dogs and today climbed out of bed at naptime and took all of the books out of her basket. I am so not used to having a kid this mobile at this age that is so curious.
-Kiya is struggling at school. She has gone to this school since she was 9 months old. She is in class again with her best friend and yet she is getting really sad and even crying. Kiya has never been much of a crier. She is however very sensitive and very dramatic. They said she did better today but still sad and just standing off to the side by herself. When you ask her why she is sad she says " I miss my mommy." So this weekend as a treat, I took Kiya shopping and then to a movie. Let's just say we didn't have the best time and Kiya was VERY moody. We both ended the afternoon in tears.
-As for me I am struggling to balance taking care of two kids and the housework. I have no system in place and most days am overwhelmed by the shear mess two little kids can make. I am thankful I have house cleaners that come every two weeks as I then have to clean up the clutter so they can do the other stuff. I am also struggling to not be so hard on Kiya. I know this is hard on her and I wasn't prepared for her reaction. Some days I have very little patience and can be snippy with the kids, the dogs, my husband. I am tired a lot and don't have a lot of energy. I am working on it and I find as my attachment and bonding to Katie get stronger things seem better.
So there you have the reality of life for us right now. I have another post brewing....we were surprised today to learn that Katie has a foster brother. More on that next time.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Katie's 1st doctor visit
Today we had Katie's first doctor's visit which happens to also be her 18 month check up. Here are the numbers
Height: 33.5 inches (91st percentile)
Weight: 23.3 lbs (56th percentile)
Head: 98th percentile
It has been determined I guess that I must raise tall children :) Kiya was 32.5 inches at her 18 month check up officially though a month later she was over an inch taller than that so who knows how accurate the official number was.
Katie's pediatrician is also Kiya's so that was nice. Kiya did not see this doctor when we first came home so I was kind of using this check up as a test for our doctor to see if we would stay with her or find someone else. Let's just say I was super impressed today. The doctor came in and I heard what I wanted. She wanted to run a lenghty list of blood tests, get stool samples and get her caught up on her vaccines. She was prepared and was wanting to run all of the tests I had on my list plus some once I mentioned that Katie is 3/4 African American so we are now testing for sickle cell.
And while I was happy to not have to go doctor shopping again, I was even more thrilled when she said " I want to check Katie's back." She then turned Katie over to look at her spine. I nearly cried. This was completely unexpected because it isn't standard protocol to check a baby's spine. She said that she was checking all of her patients backs mostly because of Kiya. May not seem like a big deal but if her checking can help even one kid not have to go through what Kiya or her cast buddies are going through that is great or if her checking helps a child get treatment sooner that is great.
Katie did really well overall. She wasn't too happy with the 4 shots, TB test and then the dreaded blood draw. We go back Monday to read the TB test and do another round of blood draws. FUN.
Oh wait I saved the best part for last, let's just say it involves saran wrap, diapers, rubber gloves and test tubes. Fun times in our house this weekend.
Other than that, Katie is right on target in gross motor, fine motor, problem solving, etc. She is behind in speech but at this point no one is worried about it. She is up to 5 words in English, home 3 weeks yesterday. She now says, mama, dada, tickle, go, baby and she is babbling a lot more in English versus Korean. It is kind of sad though, I will miss her Korean babble and her bowing. She doesn't bow nearly as much as she used to.
After we are done with Monday, she should be good to go until she is 2 years old provided we don't get any surprises in the blood work or samples.
Wish us luck this weekend with our fun ;) and wish me luck on Monday. Pretty sure Katie is going to start crying once we get there. Hoping we get the same lab tech as she was awesome and quick.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
2 weeks home
We did it! We survived the first two weeks home. Trust me it was far from easy but I have come to learn that Katie is actually very sweet and snuggly except when she wakes up and Kiya really needs outlets for her energy and special time with mommy and daddy.
The highlights
-Katie eats like a champ now. She will usually out eat her big sister. Granted Kiya has her cast on so she never eats much in cast. Katie will try just about everything and has really only said an adamant no to avocado and tomatoes. Chicken, turkey, fish and peanut butter seem to be favorites along with bananas, oranges, plums, pears, grapes...just about any fruit really.
-Katie is recognizing her name and when we say Katie she will turn her head towards us or start pointing to herself. She is getting better at pointing at mommy, daddy and Kiya also. She is really understanding quite a bit of English which is so great. Her first official English word was "tickle" and we are pretty sure she said "hi" and then "dada".
-Kiya is enjoying school so much and is making new friends at her new school. She is really very independent and very reliable. She does so much all by herself now. The other day she got up really early and I took her to the bathroom and asked her to play in her room for a little while so mommy and Katie could sleep some more. She played quietly which is VERY hard for her, for over an hour and then came into my room fully dressed and ready for the day. Such a sweet girl.
The challenges:
--Nap time. Kiya has pretty much decided she doesn't want to nap anymore. I think last week she napped one day. I don't force it but she still does quiet time in her room for a little while. Katie will nap most days but the length of naps is 45 minutes to maybe an hour and a half tops. Very rarely will she sleep longer than that and she still wakes up screaming. It is a work in progress...
--Jealousy. It goes both ways but Kiya is super sensitive and doesn't like the extra attention often shown to Katie. She is so used to be the only child and grand child that this has rocked her little world more than I think I anticipated. She pouts a lot which I hear is pretty typical of 4 years olds but on Friday she got really sad at school and started to cry because she missed her mommy. Broke my heart. I love that kid and it is so hard because Katie really needs me and I am trying hard to build that bond with her and Kiya sees that and doesn't like it. I try to do something special for Kiya every day even if it is something small like painting her fingernails.
--Ignorance. People are really not very bright sometimes and that can be frustrating. Not one person we encounter thinks that Katie is Korean. She admittedly doesn't look it at all but she is. She still babbles in Korean. So when complete strangers (ie store clerks, postal workers, etc) ask why she won't talk or wave to them or give them five, I get seriously annoyed and try to stay calm and explain. She doesn't speak English I usually say. They follow up with well how old is she? I respond that she is almost 18 months and then I get the oh you should talk to your doctor she should be talking by now. I politely try to remind them that she had been in my arms for a little over 2 weeks and thus only heard the English language that long. And usually I get a strange look or an abrupt end to the conversation.
I am sure week 3 will bring us some new highlights and some new challenges but we will figure it out. And be warned ignorant strangers, I will always go to bat for both of my kids. They both currently have their own challenges and none of it is your business and if you choose to make it so, I warned you. This mama bear can get pretty fierce if need be.
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