Today I am taking the steps to make a dream come true. It wasn't a dream I thought I had until I was graced with motherhood. Today I resigned from my job at the bank.
Yes this is the big news I referred to in my previous post. I couldn't say it then as it wasn't official but now it is. Come July 1 I will be starting my new position as full time mom.
If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would ever dream of being a stay at home mom, I would have flat out said no.
3 years into my journey as a mom and I want nothing more than to be able to be with my children. Not much will change for Kiya now. She needs the social interaction. She is thriving. She does not generally do well with change and with the addition of a little sister we felt it best for her to have as much normal as possible in her life.
We are still hopeful that we will be in the next group of families submitted to the Korean ministry and thus have a lot to do.
I am ready. I am nervous but also excited. It will be the hardest job I have ever had but also the most rewarding. Ultimately we made this decision as a family. My children deserve the best me they can get and working 50 + hours a week wasn't going to make that happen.
So here's to a whole new adventure with my beautiful family.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Taking a deep breath
Breath in, breath out. I can do this. It will get done.
This has been my mantra for the last couple of days. Why? Well some big changes are coming that I can't talk about just yet (sorry) and our adoption process is finally moving. Like really really moving.
Batch 4 was submitted to the Korean ministry for emigration approval. No we were not in it but our agency got all the way through the end of May 2011. Here is where I need to breath. We are July 2011. This last batch got all of March, April and May in. We could possibly be in Batch 5. That means in about 5 weeks our emigration permission could be submitted. It means that in 12-14 weeks or so I might be in Korea finally getting to meet my youngest daughter. Whew.
Now I have been in this adoption world for going on 7 years. Katie's adoption has taken 3 years so far. I am well aware that adoption is an ever changing process so I am trying not to get my hopes up too high. But if it does happen I have a lot to do.
Our basement remodel is coming along and we are super excited. We have picked all the paint colors, tile, carpet, fixtures, door knobs etc. The drywall is up and being taped and mudded as I type this. We have the fireplace in and the bathtub.
Katie's room looks like a tornado hit it. It is our office. It has 3 computers, 2 desks, a printer, 2 very full bookcases and that doesn't even factor in the closet. When the basement is done the office is moving downstairs and alas we will have a clean slate for Katie's room.
We are weeks away from the basement being completed, we need to paint Katie's room and there is the small matter that she doesn't have a bed or any furniture at all really. She has more clothes than I know what to do with and a ton of toys.
I have fully entered nesting mode again. It is a phase I rather enjoy actually. It keeps me busy and tons of stuff gets done.
We haven't told Kiya that Katie could be home sooner than we had once thought. It is hard for her to understand. She talks about her all the time and how she will help brush her teeth and wash her hair and tell her she can't throw things and share her doll house.
If you happen to have any encounter with me in the next few months, bare with me. I am all over the place. I am super excited and yet trying to be super organized. I have become the obsessive adoptive parent again waiting anxiously for the 651 number to show up on my phone. Again apologies if I am on the phone with you and hang up quickly if I have another call.
Breath in. Breath out. I can do this. It will get done. And best yet I am about to be a mom again.
This has been my mantra for the last couple of days. Why? Well some big changes are coming that I can't talk about just yet (sorry) and our adoption process is finally moving. Like really really moving.
Batch 4 was submitted to the Korean ministry for emigration approval. No we were not in it but our agency got all the way through the end of May 2011. Here is where I need to breath. We are July 2011. This last batch got all of March, April and May in. We could possibly be in Batch 5. That means in about 5 weeks our emigration permission could be submitted. It means that in 12-14 weeks or so I might be in Korea finally getting to meet my youngest daughter. Whew.
Now I have been in this adoption world for going on 7 years. Katie's adoption has taken 3 years so far. I am well aware that adoption is an ever changing process so I am trying not to get my hopes up too high. But if it does happen I have a lot to do.
Our basement remodel is coming along and we are super excited. We have picked all the paint colors, tile, carpet, fixtures, door knobs etc. The drywall is up and being taped and mudded as I type this. We have the fireplace in and the bathtub.
Katie's room looks like a tornado hit it. It is our office. It has 3 computers, 2 desks, a printer, 2 very full bookcases and that doesn't even factor in the closet. When the basement is done the office is moving downstairs and alas we will have a clean slate for Katie's room.
We are weeks away from the basement being completed, we need to paint Katie's room and there is the small matter that she doesn't have a bed or any furniture at all really. She has more clothes than I know what to do with and a ton of toys.
I have fully entered nesting mode again. It is a phase I rather enjoy actually. It keeps me busy and tons of stuff gets done.
We haven't told Kiya that Katie could be home sooner than we had once thought. It is hard for her to understand. She talks about her all the time and how she will help brush her teeth and wash her hair and tell her she can't throw things and share her doll house.
If you happen to have any encounter with me in the next few months, bare with me. I am all over the place. I am super excited and yet trying to be super organized. I have become the obsessive adoptive parent again waiting anxiously for the 651 number to show up on my phone. Again apologies if I am on the phone with you and hang up quickly if I have another call.
Breath in. Breath out. I can do this. It will get done. And best yet I am about to be a mom again.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
15 month update
We are finally starting to prepare for Katie's arrival. Our basement remodel started this week. Kiya is helping us pick out paint colors for her room and Katie's. Kiya has selected pink for her room. I knew should would, she is my girly girl. We are thinking a soft green with purple accents for Katie's room. So pink and green in Kiya's room and green and purple in Katie's and they will share the already purple bathroom. It will be very clear that we have two little girls living in this house. I can't wait.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
3 wonderful magical years later
Unbelievably, 3 years ago we were in Ethiopia and this little girl was placed in my arms forever. My dreams came true that wonderful magical day. I finally after over 6 years of planning and trying and paperwork was a Mom. My little Peanut. She was real. We were finally together.
Then: My scared, confused and very tiny little girl
A few days after we got home, the smiles started to shine through.
And today: She is my sassy, feisty, smart and silly girl:
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Cast #7
Cast day has come and gone again. I am not sure I have fully processed the day. You would think, having done this 6 other times, that I would be fully prepared for whatever cast days throws at us. Man oh man was I wrong.
This cast day completely kicked my butt. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. To be fair, we asked to switch cast days. Kiya was supposed to go in the week before but we wouldn't have been with two of my closest friends and cast day is not good without them. I refused to be given any time other than the last cast of the day. They usually take the kids in order youngest to oldest and I didn't want anyone else's kid to get bumped down because we asked to switch. Kiya was the 6th kid to get a cast that day. We reported to the hospital at 9am.
After we got checked in we went straight to xray. This is where the day started to go awry for us. Kiya knows who Mr Tom is. She knows that he takes pictures of her back and then she gets a beanie baby and a sticker or two. Mr Tom was not there when we went down to xray. It was a whole group of women that we had never seen before. They were nice but took Kiya and had her stand for her xray alone. We were told to walk on the other side of the wall and wait. With Mr Tom, he lets us wear a bib and stay with her. Kiya being the amazing kid that she is was fine and followed directions like a champ. Kiya got her stickers and her beanie baby and then the told us to leave. I had to ask to see the xray. Mr Tom knows we want to see it. I saw it and my heart sank.
At this point it was about 10am. We had A LOT of waiting to do. Kiya watched A LOT of TV and we went for a few walks. She started asking for a snack or some juice around 11am. Poor kid hadn't eaten anything since about 8:30 the night before and had just a few sips of water around 7am. We stalled. We explained that she could eat after she got her cast. She accepted it and moved on. She asked again a little later and we just reminded her that she didn't have her cast yet and again she accepted and moved on.
Finally around 12:30pm we were called back to pre-op. Kiya knows this is where she has to drink the orange medicine (aka Versed). Per Kiya this medicine is sour. We had to hold her down and force her to take the medicine last time. This time we just talked about the medicine for a few days prior. We told her that she needed to take the medicine or she had to have a shot (aka an owie). When we got to pre-op, she was told she could have a sticker after she took her medicine and some bubble gum flavored drops. She directed the process and told Ruby "just a little first." We tried to tell her to drink it fast but she did it in 3 sips and then immediately said "Princess sticker please".
Around 1:30 they called her back to surgery and we went to grab some food. It was just about 2:30pm when we ran into Dr. H. He and Linda sat down and chatted with us. It wasn't good news, it wasn't bad news but it was merely the same. A wise friend told me same is good so I went with that even though I was deeply frustrated. We have been at this two years almost and we have no end in sight. He told us surgery wasn't an option right now since Kiya is so flexible and gets into the 12-17 degree range in cast. He then said we could continue casting or brace. We can do cast. Brace is the unknown and she is still at 46 degrees out of cast. So back again in 12 weeks and likely 12 weeks after that and 12 weeks after that until we are all ready for the next step.
The day had been emotional and full of unknowns for all of us and after our chat our day got let's just say really interesting. I am not proud of my behavior during taping/cast trimming. I was grumpy, moody and borderline rude. Kiya was HYSTERICAL and ANGRY and fighting every piece of tape and padding. I finally made them all walk away and give her a minute to settle, eat a graham cracker and drink some juice. Kiya was much better the second go round and even helped hold the tape.
The highlight of this cast trip was the amazingly fun pool party. Kiya was hesitant at first but saw others jumping and splashing and a switch flipped and she turned into part daredevil and part fish. She wanted to jump in and she was trying to swim. She kept putting her face in the water and even went underwater a few times. She loved it and the best part was she got to play with her cast buddies outside of the hospital and I got to hang out with some really cool moms. I am truly blessed to walk this path with these amazing women and their kids and families. It makes the tough days doable.
In hindsight our day wasn't great but it could have been a whole lot worse. My heart aches for my friends who faced bigger let downs and more questions on cast day. I should quit my whining and really except that same is good. Easier said then done but I am working on it. Sending hugs and prayers to my amazing support system. I couldn't ask for better friends. It is more like a marriage really as for better or worse we will always stand beside each other. Can't ask for much more than that.
This cast day completely kicked my butt. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. To be fair, we asked to switch cast days. Kiya was supposed to go in the week before but we wouldn't have been with two of my closest friends and cast day is not good without them. I refused to be given any time other than the last cast of the day. They usually take the kids in order youngest to oldest and I didn't want anyone else's kid to get bumped down because we asked to switch. Kiya was the 6th kid to get a cast that day. We reported to the hospital at 9am.
After we got checked in we went straight to xray. This is where the day started to go awry for us. Kiya knows who Mr Tom is. She knows that he takes pictures of her back and then she gets a beanie baby and a sticker or two. Mr Tom was not there when we went down to xray. It was a whole group of women that we had never seen before. They were nice but took Kiya and had her stand for her xray alone. We were told to walk on the other side of the wall and wait. With Mr Tom, he lets us wear a bib and stay with her. Kiya being the amazing kid that she is was fine and followed directions like a champ. Kiya got her stickers and her beanie baby and then the told us to leave. I had to ask to see the xray. Mr Tom knows we want to see it. I saw it and my heart sank.
At this point it was about 10am. We had A LOT of waiting to do. Kiya watched A LOT of TV and we went for a few walks. She started asking for a snack or some juice around 11am. Poor kid hadn't eaten anything since about 8:30 the night before and had just a few sips of water around 7am. We stalled. We explained that she could eat after she got her cast. She accepted it and moved on. She asked again a little later and we just reminded her that she didn't have her cast yet and again she accepted and moved on.
Finally around 12:30pm we were called back to pre-op. Kiya knows this is where she has to drink the orange medicine (aka Versed). Per Kiya this medicine is sour. We had to hold her down and force her to take the medicine last time. This time we just talked about the medicine for a few days prior. We told her that she needed to take the medicine or she had to have a shot (aka an owie). When we got to pre-op, she was told she could have a sticker after she took her medicine and some bubble gum flavored drops. She directed the process and told Ruby "just a little first." We tried to tell her to drink it fast but she did it in 3 sips and then immediately said "Princess sticker please".
Around 1:30 they called her back to surgery and we went to grab some food. It was just about 2:30pm when we ran into Dr. H. He and Linda sat down and chatted with us. It wasn't good news, it wasn't bad news but it was merely the same. A wise friend told me same is good so I went with that even though I was deeply frustrated. We have been at this two years almost and we have no end in sight. He told us surgery wasn't an option right now since Kiya is so flexible and gets into the 12-17 degree range in cast. He then said we could continue casting or brace. We can do cast. Brace is the unknown and she is still at 46 degrees out of cast. So back again in 12 weeks and likely 12 weeks after that and 12 weeks after that until we are all ready for the next step.
The day had been emotional and full of unknowns for all of us and after our chat our day got let's just say really interesting. I am not proud of my behavior during taping/cast trimming. I was grumpy, moody and borderline rude. Kiya was HYSTERICAL and ANGRY and fighting every piece of tape and padding. I finally made them all walk away and give her a minute to settle, eat a graham cracker and drink some juice. Kiya was much better the second go round and even helped hold the tape.
The highlight of this cast trip was the amazingly fun pool party. Kiya was hesitant at first but saw others jumping and splashing and a switch flipped and she turned into part daredevil and part fish. She wanted to jump in and she was trying to swim. She kept putting her face in the water and even went underwater a few times. She loved it and the best part was she got to play with her cast buddies outside of the hospital and I got to hang out with some really cool moms. I am truly blessed to walk this path with these amazing women and their kids and families. It makes the tough days doable.
In hindsight our day wasn't great but it could have been a whole lot worse. My heart aches for my friends who faced bigger let downs and more questions on cast day. I should quit my whining and really except that same is good. Easier said then done but I am working on it. Sending hugs and prayers to my amazing support system. I couldn't ask for better friends. It is more like a marriage really as for better or worse we will always stand beside each other. Can't ask for much more than that.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
See ya cast #6
On Tuesday we cut off cast #6. It has become second nature now. Out come the tin snips, or red scissors as Kiya calls them and in about 5-10 minutes she is cast free. It is so nice to do it at home without the dreaded cast saw. Immediately we headed to the big tub for a bubble bath and lots of splashing.
Besides getting a pink cast, Kiya and I are super duper excited for a hotel pool party. We are staying at the same hotel as some of our cast friends and the hotel has a pool. Some other local Chicago cast friends are popping in for some fun in the pool also. It will be so great to see my friends and for Kiya to play with her cast friends outside of the hospital. It is going to be amazing and my guess loud. Hope the hotel doesn't mind :)
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