I forgot to mention the last 2 secret pal gifts that I have received. In August, I opened my package to find some really cool children's books, the book "The Kite Runner" and a chocolate bar. How cool is that???
This month, I had an envelope in the mail. I took one look at the envelope and broke out in a HUGE grin. Inside was a gift card for Gymboree, my new favorite baby store. Yeah.
The first thing my hubby said was I had to wait until October to buy something else for baby since I promised only one thing per month. Well, October starts tomorrow so thanks Secret Pal. I will post a picture of what I decide to get. So many choices...
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Day off??
Today was supposed to be my day off however it hasn't felt like it. I have been going and going all day except for the 20 minutes I sat down and talked to my Mom and right now.
I started the day with a workout and then a quick shower. From there I was off to get a cup of much needed coffee. From the coffee shop, I headed to grocery store #1. I picked up the few items I needed from that store and headed off to grocery store #2. I used to think shopping at more than one store was a waste of time but in the efforts to get the best deal I have found it necessary. Store 1 sells 96% fat free ground beef and store 2 does not. My husband likes to drink Izze and at store 1 they have more flavors but are almost $1 more expensive than store 2. So since I was going to both stores I got one flavor at store 1 that they don't sell at store 2 and then the other flavor at store 2. Store 2 is MUCH closer to home but you can get sucked in there. They have the best produce,bakery, deli, meat and fish sections though so I like to go there but often spend too much money on stuff we don't really need so store 1 keeps me honest.
So after all the grocery shopping, I headed to a store called MyMenu. I LOVE this place. You can go in a pick out frozen meals that are healthy and easy to make. You get so much food for so little. I purchased 2 chicken breast dinners, 3 fish dinners, spinach and cheese cannelloni, 6 twice baked potatoes and a chicken/pasta/vegetable dish. So I have enough food for 1 week all for less than $45. I am so glad this store came to our area. It will come in handy for right after baby arrives. We can eat at home and healthy without much prep work or hassle. It is great.
After that I headed home to unload. I did manage to stop and eat lunch and read a chapter or two in a Catherine Coulter book. When lunch was finished it was time to bath the pugs. Now this is a task in and of itself. I get wet, the floor gets wet and everything the dogs come in contact with gets wet. I bathe them together to save time and energy. For the most part they are really good. They hate getting water in their eyes and being dried off. They try endlessly to climb out of the tub. It is exhausting but a monthly task that needs to get done.
From dog washing, I went to sand the patio furniture. I don't enjoy sanding but I did it and now I have to put a few coats of shellac on it and it will be done. As soon as its done I get to buy the white paint for the background of the nursery mural :)
Oh I almost forgot that I cleaned 2 bathrooms as well. So to say I am tired is an understatement. I am taking the next few hours for me time to catch up on my favorite shows that I Tivo'd and then I will make dinner.
I started the day with a workout and then a quick shower. From there I was off to get a cup of much needed coffee. From the coffee shop, I headed to grocery store #1. I picked up the few items I needed from that store and headed off to grocery store #2. I used to think shopping at more than one store was a waste of time but in the efforts to get the best deal I have found it necessary. Store 1 sells 96% fat free ground beef and store 2 does not. My husband likes to drink Izze and at store 1 they have more flavors but are almost $1 more expensive than store 2. So since I was going to both stores I got one flavor at store 1 that they don't sell at store 2 and then the other flavor at store 2. Store 2 is MUCH closer to home but you can get sucked in there. They have the best produce,bakery, deli, meat and fish sections though so I like to go there but often spend too much money on stuff we don't really need so store 1 keeps me honest.
So after all the grocery shopping, I headed to a store called MyMenu. I LOVE this place. You can go in a pick out frozen meals that are healthy and easy to make. You get so much food for so little. I purchased 2 chicken breast dinners, 3 fish dinners, spinach and cheese cannelloni, 6 twice baked potatoes and a chicken/pasta/vegetable dish. So I have enough food for 1 week all for less than $45. I am so glad this store came to our area. It will come in handy for right after baby arrives. We can eat at home and healthy without much prep work or hassle. It is great.
After that I headed home to unload. I did manage to stop and eat lunch and read a chapter or two in a Catherine Coulter book. When lunch was finished it was time to bath the pugs. Now this is a task in and of itself. I get wet, the floor gets wet and everything the dogs come in contact with gets wet. I bathe them together to save time and energy. For the most part they are really good. They hate getting water in their eyes and being dried off. They try endlessly to climb out of the tub. It is exhausting but a monthly task that needs to get done.
From dog washing, I went to sand the patio furniture. I don't enjoy sanding but I did it and now I have to put a few coats of shellac on it and it will be done. As soon as its done I get to buy the white paint for the background of the nursery mural :)
Oh I almost forgot that I cleaned 2 bathrooms as well. So to say I am tired is an understatement. I am taking the next few hours for me time to catch up on my favorite shows that I Tivo'd and then I will make dinner.
Monday, September 29, 2008
The greatest game ever?
So we went to possibly the greatest game that I may ever see in my life time. It is hard to put in to words what exactly it was like to be at this baseball game but trust me it was AMAZING!!
Let me first set the scene. It was a cloudy Sunday afternoon in the next to the last row in the upper level of Miller Park. We were there with my BIL and FIL. We were hoping and praying to beat the Cubs one last time. We needed to beat the Cubs if we wanted any chance of going to the playoffs. Playoffs and Brewers haven't been used in the same sentence in 26 years. This was a really big deal.
The Cubs jumped out to an early lead. The mood in the stadium sours. Everyone has their cell phones out checking the score of the Packers game. News from that game soured the mood even more. First we were winning, then our quarterback threw 2 picks, then he got hurt and then we were losing and would go on to lose. Really bad moods were all around except for the ANNOYING Cubs fans. We were also watching the score of the Mets/Marlins game as we desperately needed the Mets to lose.
It was getting a little tense. The Brewers were losing, the Mets game was tied. Then things started to take a turn for the better. The Cubs pitcher walked in a run so we had tied the game and Wes Helms hit a home run for the Marlins and next thing we knew it was 4-2 Marlins with a few innings to go. Okay so that helped. We were thinking, well if the Mets lose and we lose, we are tied for the Wild Card so we have to play the play in game. It could be worse.
Fast forward to the bottom of the 8th inning. CC Sabathia and Mike Cameron both had recorded outs and then Ray Durham hit a double. With 2 outs and our best players coming up we were hopeful. Ryan Braun, hands down one of the best players in baseball, is up to bat. We, in the stands, felt that he was our last chance. We needed him to get it done. After all, he did hit a walk off Grand Slam earlier in the week so he could hit a home run right now, right?? Oh yeah, he can!!! No joke, he hit a 400 plus feet home run. To say the stadium went wild was an understatement. I think my feet still hurt from jumping up and down.
Someone pinch me, is this really happening?? Yes, yes it is. We were 3 outs away from possibly going to the playoffs. The Brewers spent big money to bring in CC Sabathia and oh is he worth it. He has pitched 7 complete games for the Brewers, more than any other pitcher in the National League and he only joined the National League in July. He is AMAZING. So when we saw him bat in the 8th inning we had renewed hope that things were going to go our way. After all, we didn't have a lot of options. Our "closer" is TERRIBLE. So Sabathia gets one guy out, the second guy gets a single and now the tying run is at the plate. Oh no. Well low and behold the next batter one Derrick Lee hit into a double play. GAME OVER!!!! BREWERS WIN!!!
The crowd went beyond wild. Screaming, crying, hugging, waiting to see the score in the Mets game. They started showing the Mets game on the scoreboard and 10's of thousands of fans stayed to see if we were going to New York for a play in game or if we were going to Philly for the first round of the playoffs.
We watched, we cheered, we yelled and we waited for what seemed like forever for that darn Mets game to be over. We are sitting there with 2 outs in the bottom of 9th and the Mets have one last chance. We hear the crack of the bat and get really nervous. The ball is flying high and fast to deep center field and we waited with such anticipation to see if it would be caught or be a home run. AHHH I didn't want to watch but I am so glad I did. Catch, three outs, game over, last game in Shea Stadium and oh yeah the Brewers are going to the playoffs.
I have never witnessed anything like what I saw when that 3rd out was recorded in New York. We had cheering, streamers, confetti and champagne showers. It was truly a sight and I am so lucky to have been able to witness baseball history in the making. 26 years in the making but in the end the Brewers are going to the playoffs. And I have playoff tickets :)
Let me first set the scene. It was a cloudy Sunday afternoon in the next to the last row in the upper level of Miller Park. We were there with my BIL and FIL. We were hoping and praying to beat the Cubs one last time. We needed to beat the Cubs if we wanted any chance of going to the playoffs. Playoffs and Brewers haven't been used in the same sentence in 26 years. This was a really big deal.
The Cubs jumped out to an early lead. The mood in the stadium sours. Everyone has their cell phones out checking the score of the Packers game. News from that game soured the mood even more. First we were winning, then our quarterback threw 2 picks, then he got hurt and then we were losing and would go on to lose. Really bad moods were all around except for the ANNOYING Cubs fans. We were also watching the score of the Mets/Marlins game as we desperately needed the Mets to lose.
It was getting a little tense. The Brewers were losing, the Mets game was tied. Then things started to take a turn for the better. The Cubs pitcher walked in a run so we had tied the game and Wes Helms hit a home run for the Marlins and next thing we knew it was 4-2 Marlins with a few innings to go. Okay so that helped. We were thinking, well if the Mets lose and we lose, we are tied for the Wild Card so we have to play the play in game. It could be worse.
Fast forward to the bottom of the 8th inning. CC Sabathia and Mike Cameron both had recorded outs and then Ray Durham hit a double. With 2 outs and our best players coming up we were hopeful. Ryan Braun, hands down one of the best players in baseball, is up to bat. We, in the stands, felt that he was our last chance. We needed him to get it done. After all, he did hit a walk off Grand Slam earlier in the week so he could hit a home run right now, right?? Oh yeah, he can!!! No joke, he hit a 400 plus feet home run. To say the stadium went wild was an understatement. I think my feet still hurt from jumping up and down.
Someone pinch me, is this really happening?? Yes, yes it is. We were 3 outs away from possibly going to the playoffs. The Brewers spent big money to bring in CC Sabathia and oh is he worth it. He has pitched 7 complete games for the Brewers, more than any other pitcher in the National League and he only joined the National League in July. He is AMAZING. So when we saw him bat in the 8th inning we had renewed hope that things were going to go our way. After all, we didn't have a lot of options. Our "closer" is TERRIBLE. So Sabathia gets one guy out, the second guy gets a single and now the tying run is at the plate. Oh no. Well low and behold the next batter one Derrick Lee hit into a double play. GAME OVER!!!! BREWERS WIN!!!
The crowd went beyond wild. Screaming, crying, hugging, waiting to see the score in the Mets game. They started showing the Mets game on the scoreboard and 10's of thousands of fans stayed to see if we were going to New York for a play in game or if we were going to Philly for the first round of the playoffs.
We watched, we cheered, we yelled and we waited for what seemed like forever for that darn Mets game to be over. We are sitting there with 2 outs in the bottom of 9th and the Mets have one last chance. We hear the crack of the bat and get really nervous. The ball is flying high and fast to deep center field and we waited with such anticipation to see if it would be caught or be a home run. AHHH I didn't want to watch but I am so glad I did. Catch, three outs, game over, last game in Shea Stadium and oh yeah the Brewers are going to the playoffs.
I have never witnessed anything like what I saw when that 3rd out was recorded in New York. We had cheering, streamers, confetti and champagne showers. It was truly a sight and I am so lucky to have been able to witness baseball history in the making. 26 years in the making but in the end the Brewers are going to the playoffs. And I have playoff tickets :)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Getting in shape
I know I mentioned that I had been working out and as a reward I bought myself a baby blanket. Well, I am still working out. YEAH! In fact, another adoptive mom is starting a support group for us waiters and another one for those already home with babies to get in shape and drop those excess pounds.
I currently try to work out 4-5 days a week for 20-30 minutes a day depending on what day it is and how much time I have. I am on week 3 which is usually around the time that I get bored and give up. Well, now that I will have a group of moms to help motivate me I am hoping not to quit.
A lot of my friends who have bio children would make comments about how it was so great that I got to be a mom and didn't have to gain the pregnancy weight. Well let me tell you, there is a such thing as adopting a baby weight gain. I think the stress and unknown of adoption makes anxious moms eat at least that is how it is with me. I have definitely gained weight since we started this adoption journey.
At first I blamed the few extra pounds on the hormone pills I took when we were trying IUI since the doctor said that could be a side effect. Well, that was 2 years ago and I have gained more weight since then so that wasn't totally it. I eat when I am bored so my goal is to try and keep myself busy so I don't have time to snack. And if I do snack then making sure it is a healthy snack and not chips and salsa or worse. I don't have much of a sweet tooth which is nice but my total weakness is ice cream. I can't help it; I love it.
My motto for this whole thing is everything in moderation. I can't stop eating ice cream because then I will want it more. I just need to watch how much I eat. I don't eat it everyday but probably once a week. I know terrible. The worst part is that now it is fall and Culver's has the most amazing Pumpkin milkshakes. I have had only one so far. This is definitely a HUGE weakness.
I want to stick with this working out and eating better so I can be in better shape for not only the high altitudes in Ethiopia but for when baby is home. It is not always going to be fun but it needs to be done. I have to update my home study in December and part of that is going to the doctor. My goal is to weigh less at that appointment than I did before we started the adoption process. I figure that means I need to lose about 15 pounds before then. I can do this. I have done it before but always put the weight back on. In total I would love to lose about 30 pounds but I would be happy with 20. If I stick with my work out plan and cut out my eating when bored I should be a okay.
I cook pretty healthy dinners so that part doesn't need to change. We could eat more veggies so I will try to add more of those in but overall we do pretty well. The only dessert I eat every week is after our kickball games and that is ice cream. We don't go out to eat often maybe once or twice a week and usually we eat fairly healthy sometimes we splurge and don't but not too often. So I feel like this is a reasonable goal to reach and I am getting a lot closer to being able to start my mural so that will keep my busy and not eating while bored. We shall see how this goes...
I currently try to work out 4-5 days a week for 20-30 minutes a day depending on what day it is and how much time I have. I am on week 3 which is usually around the time that I get bored and give up. Well, now that I will have a group of moms to help motivate me I am hoping not to quit.
A lot of my friends who have bio children would make comments about how it was so great that I got to be a mom and didn't have to gain the pregnancy weight. Well let me tell you, there is a such thing as adopting a baby weight gain. I think the stress and unknown of adoption makes anxious moms eat at least that is how it is with me. I have definitely gained weight since we started this adoption journey.
At first I blamed the few extra pounds on the hormone pills I took when we were trying IUI since the doctor said that could be a side effect. Well, that was 2 years ago and I have gained more weight since then so that wasn't totally it. I eat when I am bored so my goal is to try and keep myself busy so I don't have time to snack. And if I do snack then making sure it is a healthy snack and not chips and salsa or worse. I don't have much of a sweet tooth which is nice but my total weakness is ice cream. I can't help it; I love it.
My motto for this whole thing is everything in moderation. I can't stop eating ice cream because then I will want it more. I just need to watch how much I eat. I don't eat it everyday but probably once a week. I know terrible. The worst part is that now it is fall and Culver's has the most amazing Pumpkin milkshakes. I have had only one so far. This is definitely a HUGE weakness.
I want to stick with this working out and eating better so I can be in better shape for not only the high altitudes in Ethiopia but for when baby is home. It is not always going to be fun but it needs to be done. I have to update my home study in December and part of that is going to the doctor. My goal is to weigh less at that appointment than I did before we started the adoption process. I figure that means I need to lose about 15 pounds before then. I can do this. I have done it before but always put the weight back on. In total I would love to lose about 30 pounds but I would be happy with 20. If I stick with my work out plan and cut out my eating when bored I should be a okay.
I cook pretty healthy dinners so that part doesn't need to change. We could eat more veggies so I will try to add more of those in but overall we do pretty well. The only dessert I eat every week is after our kickball games and that is ice cream. We don't go out to eat often maybe once or twice a week and usually we eat fairly healthy sometimes we splurge and don't but not too often. So I feel like this is a reasonable goal to reach and I am getting a lot closer to being able to start my mural so that will keep my busy and not eating while bored. We shall see how this goes...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Being grateful
I got an email today that really hit home. I have been whiny and pretty selfish lately. As I posted awhile ago, I am not super happy with my job and REALLY want to be a stay at home mom but we need health insurance so that really isn't an option for right now. Hubby and I are in negotiations for when Baby #2 comes home that I will be a stay at home mom. YEAH!!! There is a chance it could happen before that if we pay off some bills and find reasonable health insurance.
Anyway, back to the email... I got this from my Mom who I believe got it from my uncle. I have been grumpy about my job for awhile now and when I read this email it made me pause. I had to stop and think that I really need to be grateful for all the things I do have and not so upset about the little stuff. In the grand scheme of life, my job isn't that relevant. That doesn't mean I now love my job, I don't but I have had a realization anyway. I realize that I should be thankful for the ability to work and really just suck it up and deal. It isn't that bad and me complaining about it isn't helping. So here is the email:
Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.
Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings.
Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.
Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible. Thank you, Lord , that I can see. Many are blind.
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising. Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.
Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud. Thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.
Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced. Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.
Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.
Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances we're different. Thank you, Lord, for life.
I got this email while I was at work today. Yes, I should have been working but it was slow so I checked my email. If I could I would quit my job the day we get back from Ethiopia but that isn't reality and I will hang in there for my family. I know at some point in the relatively near future (12-24months or so) that I will be a stay at home mom. I did gain a little much needed perspective today and for that I am grateful. Amazing what a forwarded email chain can do, huh?
Anyway, back to the email... I got this from my Mom who I believe got it from my uncle. I have been grumpy about my job for awhile now and when I read this email it made me pause. I had to stop and think that I really need to be grateful for all the things I do have and not so upset about the little stuff. In the grand scheme of life, my job isn't that relevant. That doesn't mean I now love my job, I don't but I have had a realization anyway. I realize that I should be thankful for the ability to work and really just suck it up and deal. It isn't that bad and me complaining about it isn't helping. So here is the email:
Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.
Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings.
Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.
Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible. Thank you, Lord , that I can see. Many are blind.
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising. Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.
Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud. Thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.
Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced. Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.
Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.
Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances we're different. Thank you, Lord, for life.
I got this email while I was at work today. Yes, I should have been working but it was slow so I checked my email. If I could I would quit my job the day we get back from Ethiopia but that isn't reality and I will hang in there for my family. I know at some point in the relatively near future (12-24months or so) that I will be a stay at home mom. I did gain a little much needed perspective today and for that I am grateful. Amazing what a forwarded email chain can do, huh?
Monday, September 22, 2008
8 months today
We have hit the 8 month mark in our adoption journey. Our journey to parenthood is getting closer to the 6 year mark. Wow what a journey this has been so far. It definitely has not been an easy journey. There have been very few highs and even those turned in to really big lows.
The only comfort I have is that we are so close. We have to be. I am still hopeful that we won't hit the one year mark. We will likely hit the 10 or 11 month mark but I don't want to hit one year. I would love to see the picture of our baby before Christmas. It would be an amazing gift. I know that that may not happen but a girl can dream right??
I found this poem on the forum today and it touched me so I thought I would share it with everyone.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
But still miraculously my own
Never forget for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.
I think it is a beautiful way to describe adoption. Even though I don't know if we are having a boy or a girl or how old or if they have hair or not, I love that little one already. They have been growing in my heart since we started the adoption journey two years ago. We never dreamed we would still be waiting for the love of our life two years later but we are and we will continue to wait. We know our little one is out there. I dream of them everyday and I can't wait to meet them, but wait I will. They will come to me when they are ready and I will be there with open arms and probably a bunch of tears.
The only comfort I have is that we are so close. We have to be. I am still hopeful that we won't hit the one year mark. We will likely hit the 10 or 11 month mark but I don't want to hit one year. I would love to see the picture of our baby before Christmas. It would be an amazing gift. I know that that may not happen but a girl can dream right??
I found this poem on the forum today and it touched me so I thought I would share it with everyone.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
But still miraculously my own
Never forget for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.
I think it is a beautiful way to describe adoption. Even though I don't know if we are having a boy or a girl or how old or if they have hair or not, I love that little one already. They have been growing in my heart since we started the adoption journey two years ago. We never dreamed we would still be waiting for the love of our life two years later but we are and we will continue to wait. We know our little one is out there. I dream of them everyday and I can't wait to meet them, but wait I will. They will come to me when they are ready and I will be there with open arms and probably a bunch of tears.
Friday, September 19, 2008
I don't like stupid people
I read this article today and got VERY angry. I tried to post a comment but as of yet it hasn't gone through. Here is a link to the article and below that a few select paragraphs that really upset me.
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-blankenhorn19-2008sep19,0,2093869.story
"Marriage as a human institution is constantly evolving, and many of its features vary across groups and cultures. But there is one constant. In all societies, marriage shapes the rights and obligations of parenthood. Among us humans, the scholars report, marriage is not primarily a license to have sex. Nor is it primarily a license to receive benefits or social recognition. It is primarily a license to have children.
In this sense, marriage is a gift that society bestows on its next generation. Marriage (and only marriage) unites the three core dimensions of parenthood -- biological, social and legal -- into one pro-child form: the married couple. Marriage says to a child: The man and the woman whose sexual union made you will also be there to love and raise you. Marriage says to society as a whole: For every child born, there is a recognized mother and a father, accountable to the child and to each other.
All our scholarly instruments seem to agree: For healthy development, what a child needs more than anything else is the mother and father who together made the child, who love the child and love each other."
I hate that I published these words here but it made me so mad. I need to vent. The author is trying to argue against same sex marriage but rather than discussing that issue he goes WAY over board and insults all adoptive parent, single parent, and gay couples raising children.
In his view only biological parents can raise healthy, well adjusted children. So if you didn't "make" the child you can't possibly be a good parent, right??? WRONG!!!
I know a gay couple that has adopted children that were born to a Mom who was addicted to drugs. These kids would have been on the street or in the foster care system unless they had been adopted by this couple. They now have two parents that love them and provide for them. They are afforded opportunities that they never would have had had they stay with the biological mother and father. So which is better for the children??
Admittedly, I am super sensitive to this issue since my children will not be born to me. I know though that I will give my children everything I have. I will love them , cherish them and support them to the best of my ability. I don't think we will be bad parents or have unhealthy children just because we didn't give birth to them.
There is more to parenting than mere biology. Will raising adopted children come with issues? Sure and I am preparing myself for those. Would I potentially have issues in raising a biological child? Yup. So I don't really understand the point he is trying to make.
Isn't is better for a child to be loved by one awesome parent, two parents whether biological or not or a loving gay couple then bounced around in the foster care system? I sure think so. Marriage does not a good parent make. Love goes along way and I hope my child will always know that I love them even though they were born in my heart and not in my tummy.
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-blankenhorn19-2008sep19,0,2093869.story
"Marriage as a human institution is constantly evolving, and many of its features vary across groups and cultures. But there is one constant. In all societies, marriage shapes the rights and obligations of parenthood. Among us humans, the scholars report, marriage is not primarily a license to have sex. Nor is it primarily a license to receive benefits or social recognition. It is primarily a license to have children.
In this sense, marriage is a gift that society bestows on its next generation. Marriage (and only marriage) unites the three core dimensions of parenthood -- biological, social and legal -- into one pro-child form: the married couple. Marriage says to a child: The man and the woman whose sexual union made you will also be there to love and raise you. Marriage says to society as a whole: For every child born, there is a recognized mother and a father, accountable to the child and to each other.
All our scholarly instruments seem to agree: For healthy development, what a child needs more than anything else is the mother and father who together made the child, who love the child and love each other."
I hate that I published these words here but it made me so mad. I need to vent. The author is trying to argue against same sex marriage but rather than discussing that issue he goes WAY over board and insults all adoptive parent, single parent, and gay couples raising children.
In his view only biological parents can raise healthy, well adjusted children. So if you didn't "make" the child you can't possibly be a good parent, right??? WRONG!!!
I know a gay couple that has adopted children that were born to a Mom who was addicted to drugs. These kids would have been on the street or in the foster care system unless they had been adopted by this couple. They now have two parents that love them and provide for them. They are afforded opportunities that they never would have had had they stay with the biological mother and father. So which is better for the children??
Admittedly, I am super sensitive to this issue since my children will not be born to me. I know though that I will give my children everything I have. I will love them , cherish them and support them to the best of my ability. I don't think we will be bad parents or have unhealthy children just because we didn't give birth to them.
There is more to parenting than mere biology. Will raising adopted children come with issues? Sure and I am preparing myself for those. Would I potentially have issues in raising a biological child? Yup. So I don't really understand the point he is trying to make.
Isn't is better for a child to be loved by one awesome parent, two parents whether biological or not or a loving gay couple then bounced around in the foster care system? I sure think so. Marriage does not a good parent make. Love goes along way and I hope my child will always know that I love them even though they were born in my heart and not in my tummy.
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