Okay I know that it is just TV and I shouldn't be so in to Dr. Phil but sometimes he says some really great things. Today's topic was teenager and drug use and the role that parents play in that. It makes me scared to have a teenager...
This 17 year old boy thinks that most teenagers smoke marijuana and that it is normal that he smokes a few times a week and drinks multiple times a week. He is totally smug and thinks he and all of his friends don't have any drug or alcohol issues. After all it is only marijuana so what is the big deal. WOW! I was an angel in high school. I didn't do anything wrong. I went to class, I got good grades, played sports, didn't argue that much with my parents, had a job and a boyfriend or two. I was kind of a dork really. I never got into the party scene in high school.
Enter the college years:
I am proud to say that I have NEVER tried marijuana. Sure I know what it smells like as I went to plenty a college party where people were smoking it. I was also a Residence Hall Director for a number of years and had more than one resident who thought they could smoke in their dorm room and my staff wouldn't figure it out. As for other drugs again NEVER. I didn't even hang out with people that did other drugs. I did have friends that smoked marijuana and I just chose not to.
I am in no way saying that I was an angel during my college years but I am glad that I can honestly tell my children that I didn't do drugs of any kind. I will be honest and say that I did try smoking but hated it. It was usually after a few drinks in college or at my bachelorette party but I never regularly smoked. I just didn't enjoy it and always regretted doing it. The smell on my clothes and in my hair was so gross. It was definitely a heat of the moment thing and I haven't smoked a cigarette in 9 years. I had my last one at my bachelorette party.
Alcohol--well that is another story. I had my ups and downs in college that really don't need reliving but I learned a tremendous amount about myself and turned my mistakes into a way to help other college students. I taught an Alcohol Education Class for college students in which I would tell my story which isn't always pretty but made me more relevant and more effective. I never took the approach that college kids shouldn't drink but if they choose to they need to be responsible about it and be willing to accept the consequences. My hope was always to share my experience and make a difference for at least one student and I know I did at least once.
I don't really recall talking about drugs or alcohol with my parents. Smoking was a definite no no since we had lost more than a few family members due to smoking related illnesses. The one thing my mom always told me was that if I was in a situation and needed help to call her no matter what time it was and she would come get me. I think that was her way of saying if you are out drinking don't drive let me come get you. I never called but I didn't put myself in situations where I would have needed to either. I plan on using this with our children as well. I will talk to them specifically about drugs and alcohol but will put it out there that I will come get them no matter the hour. I won't be happy but I would rather have them safe then risk their lives and the lives of others driving under the influence.
This show of Dr. Phil's really made me think about the realities I will have to face as we raise children. Things are really different now compared to when I grew up, they are a lot more scary I think. I as a parent will have to stay on top of things and most importantly be a parent to my child and not their best friend. My mom is my best friend now but growing up she was my mom and while at the time I didn't always like what she said in hindsight I had/have the best mom. I want to do that for my kids. I think I turned out okay. (You can stop laughing now Dad).
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