I have been reading a lot more of this book lately and I have learned so much. It is amazing all the misconceptions that I had. This book is a MUST read for anyone wanting to parent a black or bi-racial child.
To start with I was convinced and borderline obsessed that my daughter would have to play with dolls that looked like her. Every time I was in a store I would go through the toy aisles looking for brown skinned Barbie, Cabbage Patch kids and any other doll I could find. Wow, was I so wrong. It doesn't matter to a 3 year old what color skin the doll has as they don't yet understand that. It is more important that I give my daughter a choice as to which doll she wants to play with and if she picks a blond hair, blue eyed Barbie that there is no need for me to freak out. It would be much better for her to play with dolls from lots of different backgrounds. My stressing that she only play with black or brown skinned dolls could actually cause her to be overly sensitive to race and I don't want to do that.
Then I would think about what if I have a boy, what toys would he play with as there aren't a lot of action figures that are brown skinned for him to play with. I am so glad that I am reading this book. Diversity and choice are key when picking out toys for young children and I need to remember that a 3 year old doesn't look at skin color or race the same way adults might and that is perfectly okay.
I have also learned that I have a lot to learn when it comes to haircare. It is a source of pride and I don't want to disappoint my child. I am going to have to ask lots of questions and read more about what are the best products and what hairstyles can I do myself and which ones will I need to seek professional help on. At some point this summer I am going to focus my attention on reading up on proper hair care techniques and the right products.
I have been talking about this book a lot with a friend of mine that is a substitute teacher and she was so intrigued that she just checked it out from the library. She is recommending it to all of her teacher friends as well. There is so much info there and there are a lot of misperceptions that I wouldn't have realized were misperceptions unless I had picked up this book.
On the adoption front as expected things have slowed down with the June 1st date having come and gone. We are all still hopeful for more referrals this week and in the weeks ahead so we shall see. We did move up a little on the list as there have been some surprise pregnancy announcements. My most heartfelt congrats to those that have their referrals, those who made it through court, those who are soon to travel and everyone in between stages. And a BIG congrats to the couples who were blessed to be pregnant. How exciting!
My new favorite number is....35
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