Today I have learned more than I care to about bureaucratic red tape. Thanks to my forum friends, I figured out that I have to call the National Visa Center to get a case number to make sure that my immigration paperwork is where it is supposed to be. Well, I have tried to call the Visa center a number of times today to get a busy signal, disconnected or politely told by a slightly annoying recorded voice that I needed to call back lately. I will try again I guess. It isn't a really pressing issue for us right now but for others it has been. They have found out that their paperwork wasn't in the right place and their travel dates have been delayed. AHHH, I feel for them but I thank them for sharing so those of us that are waiting can figure this out now before we get stuck too.
Hopefully later today I will have our case number and then I have to call the State Department to check and make sure our approval papers are at the embassy in Addis Ababa. I sort of had this delusion that once I was dossier approved I was done with the paper chasing. I have come to find out that that is so not the truth. We have to bring all of these forms with confusing numbers on them with us to Addis and once we are back there is the whole readopting in WI papers and the getting a SSN, name change paperwork and probably more stuff that I am missing. I am not really a fan of paperwork and the red tape that goes with it but I am persistent so hopefully that will help.
As for random musings, I in the last few weeks have been contemplating what I will do for time off/work once our baby has come home. I started by saying I would take 6 weeks off and then slowly start going back to working full time. Then I went to taking my 12 weeks of leave to go back to work full time which at my current job is 32 hours per week. I have the health insurance for the family through my work so that is an issue we are looking at as well. My current mind frame is to definitely take my 12 weeks of leave and then either go back to my current job and work part time or get a different job part time but not at this time go back to work full time.
The more I read about adoption, attachment and bonding, I think it is really important for me to spend as much time as I can with our newest addition. I had a SAHM(stay at home mom) for awhile when I was little and that was really nice. My DH had a SAHM his whole life. I think I do want to go back to work at least part time and maybe full time once the kids are in school but at first I just don't feel right about going back to work full time. If we can figure out a semi-affordable way to get health insurance and I after my leave can work enough to cover the monthly premium then all should be well. I really don't want to use day care at first. I do see the need for daycare and socializing prior to entering preschool but not at first. I also don't want to rely on family too much either.
It is super important in adoption that it is clearly established who mom and dad are. It may mean after baby comes home that feedings and changings are done by mom and dad only and other members of the family can hold and then work up to feedings after being home for awhile or feeding occasionally but mostly mom and dad are doing it. I know we are going to have lots of people that are really happy for us and want to come over and see the baby which is fine but holdings by others may be limited. We are going to take our cues from our baby but passing baby around a room full of people isn't going to happen for awhile. A lot will also depend on if mom and dad come home with a parasite or if baby does. We don't want those to be spread.
I know everyone will be super supportive and want to help us out and we are so grateful for that. We just hope that everyone understands this huge transition and take there cues from us as new parents and importantly as new adoptive parents. We will be taking things slowly and adjusting as time goes on. It is also going to depend on our baby, some babies adapt well to new environments and others don't. There is a theory of "cocooning" adopted children when the come home to their new family. This means that it is parents and baby only and no visitors or trips to the store or anything. I can tell you that probably won't happen much here. Sure there will be a lot of time when it will be just me and baby but I can't sit at home all day. Target and the grocery store are a must and I want people to visit. So we are going the flexible cocooning route by as parents taking on the feeding and changing ourselves for awhile but not avoiding public places or family and friends.
Now keep in mind this is how I want it to work in my head but come baby actually being home I am sure things will change...
And now for the much anticipated new favorite number: 34
No comments:
Post a Comment