So I have been in a bit of funk lately that I just can't shake. I think it is the holiday season rapidly approaching. Every year for the last 5 years I have said "At this time next year we should have our baby..." Well here we are another holiday season and we are still waiting for our baby.
I am trying to keep myself occupied so I don't think about it but it is hard. I know that I am being totally selfish. I realize that something truly sad has to happen for my baby to find me but I want that darn phone to ring.
We are going on almost one month of no referrals again and that stinks. There are people at my agency 2 weeks away from hitting the 12 month mark. My heart goes out to them. I know what kinds of crazy thoughts are going through my head so I just can't imagine what they are thinking. There are just these days where hope for the start of our family goes out the window. Today has been one of those days.
Halloween is such a kid oriented day and last year we really thought we would have an adorable little one to dress up and enjoy the day with. Instead I carved a pumpkin just so my dog could lick it off and I am here tonight handing out candy to all the adorable little kids of my friends. I will plaster on a smile and fake my way through it and again tell myself that at this time next year I will have a baby.
6 comments:
Hang in there sweetie. Next year YOU WILL! Hugs.
Plaster on that smile b/c NEXT YEAR YOU WILL HAVE A BABY OR TWO!!!
Everyone's allowed to have some down days. It's totally allowed. And it's not selfish to wish your phone would ring... it will soon!
*Big Hug* You are in my thoughts. I was also so dissappointed with the lack of referrals. Sometimes I just don't get this system. However, you can mark that Halloween off of you calendar as your last Halloween without children. I hope your call comes very soon!
Hugs- for today's disappointing revelation.
hugs and hugs and hugs
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