Thursday, February 12, 2009

Spontaneous Bursts of Tears

I cry. I have always cried. I have tried to at times hide the fact that I cry a lot but I am okay with it now. I cry at TV shows, commercials for the ASPCA, movies, books you name it and it could make me cry. I am kind of a sap. I cannot watch one full episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition without crying at least 2 or 3 times.

I cry for joyful reasons too. I cried on an off the day we got our referral for Peanut. There are times when I think about her and I smile and shed a tear. Tears of joy for my baby girl. I cried on Tuesday when I thought about how great my husband's birthday would be next year with Peanut in our lives.

Well, I think my dear husband thinks I am nuts most of the time when I cry at things. In fact the other night, we were doing our thing watching TV and a commercial came of for Disney World. I have never been to Disney World. I have been to Disneyland but I hear they are very different. Anyway, I was staring at the pictures of Peanut and I just started to cry.

I was picturing taking Peanut to Disney World and I just cried. Tears of joy. To see her face light up. The amazement and wonder of it all. I know silly but I couldn't help it. I think about Peanut often. I miss her and I dream of what our lives will be like together. I am anxiously counting the days, weeks and yes still months until we can be together. I know it will be soon but I just want to hold that sweet baby girl in my arms. To make her dreams come true whether she wants to kick around a soccer ball in the yard or play dress up with her dolls or both.

Peanut, know that we love you and think about you every second of every day. I get lost in thought when I stare at your beautiful face. Soon. Soon we can explore and dream and cry together.

3 comments:

Leah said...

Your pretty cute to be looking at peanut's picture while watching tv. I keep thinking that I will stop looking at Myra's picture but I look at it all day long - cooking, driving, thinking, dream. It so wonderful to fall in love with my baby! We are planning a trip to Disney World in Hong Kong!! Can't wait.

Jess Pedersen said...

I think we're the same person! I cry at everything...and lately I've been crying a lot too. I just look at baby d's picture and I start to cry. Tears of joy, of course, but also because I just wonder how he's doing...is he okay? Is this wait torturous or what? Now imagine the tears that will flow the day we actually meet our babies! xoxo, jess.

Eastiopians said...

I get choked up an a daily basis too. I usually fight them back to prevent strange looks or unneccessary worry from other's who don't like crying in any form. There is a lot of cry fear out there. ha ha. I can't imagine the feeling you must have just waiting for her. Go ahead and plan big for her future b/c Disney World is a must. I can see you three on the Dumbo ride already. Three goofy grins, camera around your neck, and your husband with the video recorder. :) That is good stuff.

Theresa