State of our home address

This picture just about sums up what the state of our home is right now. You see that impy grin....you see the dominoes that are dumped all over the couch and the floor. Yup that is Kiya. She is a non-stop all over the place full fledged toddler. Wow. The amount of energy she has can be a lot. Don't get me wrong she is beyond amazing and beyond adorable and super silly but wow.

She is super sassy as of late. She can be kind of bossy and yet we have a hard time not laughing. The other day she said to me " Mommy, sit down. Time for shoes on." Granted I had no intention of going anywhere but that didn't seem to matter to Kiya.

She is on the verge of jumping. She has mastered running as best she can with a cast on and has decided that jumping is up next. I am so excited for her. Every night she runs into her room and screams "1,2,3 jump." Then she says "Mommy do it." So of course I I say 1, 2, 3 and I jump. Then Kiya says " Daddy do it."  So Daddy jumps. To which Kiya responds, "No Daddy. Do 1, 2, 3 jump."

Just last night it was time to brush her teeth and in response to let's go in the bathroom, Kiya says "I'm gonna sit down now." She then sits down on the floor in her room. Sigh.....

Kiya is keeping us on our toes that is for sure. She is determined to try and climb oh everything. She loves to empty dog food out of the dog food bin if we forget to close the door to the laundry room. She loves to kick water out of the laundry room sink during bath time.

We spend a lot of time laughing in this house. We also spend a lot of time exhausted as Kiya doesn't appear to have an off switch. She is silly all the time and just loves to laugh and make others laugh. We are working on her understanding when we are serious and when we aren't. That is a challenge....but so far the threat of a time out usually works.

I love seeing her independent side. Each morning she wakes up and asks to sit up. Which means she wants her pillow propped up and then she wants her books. She then "reads" her books to her babies and stuffed animals while we get ready. It is too cute. And how she wants to tie her own shoes or put her own chapstick on or try to do her own hair. Her independence is a big reason for her sassiness. She is also very stubborn. If she doesn't want to do something like say sit on the potty boy are we going to hear about it.

So the state of our home is silly, goofy, crazy, fun, exhausting and really amazing.

Lost and confused

Adoption is not an easy path. Far from it. Our path got a little more complicated on Friday with the news that Ethiopia was cutting adoptions by 90% starting March 10, 2011.

Sigh. My head realizes that this is the right thing to do. There is too much corruption. Too many lies. I get it. I do. But yet my heart is breaking. My hope and dream of having another Ethiopian born child may not come true.

I am at a total loss. I turn 35 in a few short months. There is no real timeline for an Ethiopian adoption. Yet, supposedly only 5 letters written per day. That is five across all agencies and countries. The Ministry of Women's Affairs only works about 200 or less days a year... we are easily still well in to the high 200's on our agencies waiting list. This could take a few more years or it could all change again in a few months. It is a HUGE unknown.

So we are at a crossroads. Should we stay or should we go? We are torn. We would love to adopt again from Ethiopia. I would want to feel certain that that adoption was truly ethical. Yet am I ready to wait an unknown amount of time....I don't know. Is that selfish....probably.

I can't deny that I am getting older. I had always thought I would be done having kids by the time I was in my early thirties and well life just didn't turn out that way. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I am beyond thrilled that Kiya joined our family when she did.

Are we meant to find another path to expanding our family? I don't know. Are we meant to only have one child? I don't know.

There are a lot of unknowns right now. We have a lot of questions and not a whole lot of answers. I will be touching base with our country specialist and our local homestudy social worker this week. I am not really sure what I will ask them but I feel like I need to get a glimpse into what might be the reality of the wait to adopt from Ethiopia.

In the meantime I have started doing my homework. What am I researching....well other countries and even domestic adoption. My heart belongs in Ethiopia so in my research I am trying to see if there is room in my heart for a different path. I am terrified of all that is out there but yet excited to see where we might go.

Cast #2

Finally posting cast #2 pictures :)  Isn't she adorable? She loves her pink cast as I knew she would especially since she picked the color herself.  We are about 1 month in to this cast and doing great. Kiya is amazing. She is running all the time and she just knows how it all works. She knows her baths are in the laundry room with her Dora doll. She knows that we wash her hair on Sundays in the kitchen sink and after we wash her hair she gets to watch her favorite shows Dora, The Fresh Beat Band and Yo Gabba Gabba.

 There is no cut out in the back of this cast this time. Our doctor doesn't think it is necessary so we are going with it. I kind of miss it as it made for a good tickle spot but whatever.

 She is straighter and seemingly taller while in her cast. I swear before this cast she was just a tad shorter than the counter top and now she is clearly taller than the counter top which means she can grab oh everything. Sigh.... She loves in particular water bottles, keys, daddy's wallet, etc. She will usually bring you the items she grabs which is cute.

We are so grateful that we have these casts as a treatment option. Cast life was scary at first but totally doable. It is our reality and frankly I don't mind. My baby girl is getting her back straight and that is all that matters.

Daycare Drama

A few weeks ago, we were informed that Kiya would be moved up to a pre-preschool classroom. We at first were thrilled that the staff thought Kiya was ready for more structure and more learning opportunities.

Well the transition week did not go well at all. Far from it. Kiya was less than happy to leave her friends. She has 3 kids that she knows by name and would ask for them as we would put her jacket on in the morning. She also LOVED her teachers.

Her new classroom just felt off. Kiya only kind of knew two other kids in the class. Her teachers were less than friendly. Kiya has her cast on. Big deal. She can do everything that any other kid her age can do. She might do it slightly differently but that cast has never slowed her down. Heck she learned how to walk in that thing. Well, her new teachers were under the impression that Kiya couldn't sit on the potty because of her cast so they didn't take her. They assumed she wouldn't take naps even though most days she naps for at least an hour and a half to two plus hours.

I went in to talk with the new teachers to let them know about the cast and really the only rules we have are no sand and no water otherwise we let Kiya be. The response I got was less than welcoming. When I requested that Kiya wear a bib at meal times, they seemed annoyed since other kids didn't. I brought them a bib even. They drink from real cups in this classroom so lots of messes and I just didn't want her cast shirt to get wet. Sure a little liquid is fine and water not an issues but milk or juice slightly more of a problem as those could smell. Not really a big deal but the teachers reaction to Kiya overall just didn't set well with me.

As we started to have to drop Kiya off in her new room, things were getting really weird. Kiya stomped around the house whining. She started to say "no friends, no friends.". She would say "Kiya stay home. No friends." And then at actual drop off she would start to cry. It got so bad that yesterday she refused to walk in the door and gripped the door frame so I had to practically drag her into the room. After she was in the room she started to cry and then scream. She was saying, "mommy go home, mommy hug. wanna go home." If I didn't have to be at work I would have grabbed her and taken her home.

I had already talked with the director. She was aware of my concerns. She was there on Tuesday during the epic meltdown that was drop off. She was meeting with the other administrators to discuss our options.

She called yesterday with GREAT news. Kiya is going back to her old classroom with her friends and with her teachers. The plan is for her to stay there until a space opens in the pre preschool room that we want Kiya in. The one where the teachers are fabulous and Kiya knows other kids.

I am glad we got this resolved. I was feeling terrible about it and Kiya obviously wasn't happy and that was the worst part. And while I was excited about the new challenges that would be there for Kiya in a new room, her happiness shouldn't be sacrificed and now it won't be.

Life with a bossy 2 year old

Miss Kiya has always had an opinion and she definitely makes herself heard which is part of what I love about her. Now that she is talking all the time and in 3 and 4 word sentences she is well more dramatic, animated and bossy.

Oh and did I mention particular. Her new phrases are "Mommy do it. or Daddy do it. Or Mommy read it or Daddy read it. If Daddy tries to brush Kiya's teeth we get a prompt, No, Mommy do it. And most of the time if Mommy tries to put on Kiya's shoes, we get a No Daddy do it.

She is also very big on saying, Kiya's water or towel or doll or tee tee (blanket). Most of the time she is talking about her own things so it is fine. Occasionally, she will say things like "Kiya's car. Car go home." That car was not hers, it was her little friends....did I mention it is tough to rationalize with a 2 year old?

The word no has also become a favorite again. Yesterday and most days it is "no hat".  Today it was no socks and my favorite, " Mommy, no poop. no poop." She had pooped but didn't want me to change her because she was watching her favorite show.

Last night on the potty we got a whole round of no's. No towel, no light, Kiya no potty, no bath, etc. It was pretty cute but for sure the highlight was Kiya actually going poop on the potty. I am pretty sure it was a mere coincidence as we thought she was done and it was bedtime so we took her diaper off so she could go sit on the potty and low and behold she wasn't done yet. I will take the victory but also realize that Kiya isn't ready just yet for full potty training.

Life with a 2 year old so far isn't that bad. Yes we have the tantrums at times and the occasional timeout usually for not listening but really it is manageable. She is really a great kid. I love that I can have a real, actual conversation with her in which she understands me and I her. 

Sure she is bossy and stubborn but that is Kiya and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Back to the beginning

So yesterday, Kiya got cast #2. She did great as always. Such a trooper. It was a VERY long day that took WAY too long to do everything. At one point I was tempted to just grab the tape and padding and just finish the job myself but whatever. All in all I love the staff at Shriner's Chicago minus maybe the clueless anesthesiologist and the new nurse who was I believe the source of the slow down.

Miss Kiya is now sporting a brand new very pink cast. She picked the color herself. I knew she would pick pink. She only recognizes a few colors accurately pink being one of them and her latest love so I knew as soon as she saw it that is what she would pick. My girly girl didn't let me down.

She is adjusting well. A little sore and a little clumsy but overall doing great. She is walking pretty well. She is starting to bend and pick things up again. She will only sit for short periods of time without a wall or pillow behind her but she did that last time too so that is to be expected. The thing that shocked me is last night she slept on her side on and off. That took a month plus in her last cast.

The best part of the day was being there with 2 of our Lucky Cast families. That makes the long casting day just a little easier when you can share it with your extended family. There were definitely some people we missed and wished could have been there but we know they were there with us in spirit and cheering us on through facebook.

I was kind of prepared for Kiya's xray numbers and kind of not. When she started this journey back in September she was at a 52 degree curve in her spine which the doctor was able to hold at 15 degrees in her cast. Well yesterday Kiya's out of cast xray came back showing a 60 + degree curve so worse than before. Two things happened here. One the xray wasn't perfect, Kiya's shoulders weren't squared up and the second is that Kiya was out of cast for just over 2 months. The doctor worked his magic again and was able to hold Kiya's curve to 15 degrees in cast again. So I am holding on to that. Kiya is pretty flexible which should help. He is still hopeful that we can get complete correction if we stay the course so we are in this for the long haul.

I feel like we are starting all over and are in cast #1 really. Not going to let it get me down though. We have amazing friends to walk with us on this journey and pick us up when we fall or need the extra encouragement and that makes the world of difference. I cried 1 time yesterday and that was when they rolled Kiya back to surgery. Last cast, I couldn't stop crying and had to hold on to nurse Gwen for support and a walk before I could even get near Kiya post surgery. Why was it different this time even with the unsettling starting number? Well, we knew what to expect with the angry screaming toddler post anesthesia. We knew what she would look like with the cast on so there wasn't the shock factor. We knew that our friends were right there with us and that we can do this together.

We are all readjusting to our new normal and breathing a sigh of relief. We have 12 weeks to not worry about Kiya's back getting worse. It is a nice feeling. These last 2 months of looking to see if her back was crooked. Watching it get crooked was tough.

For all the numbers, check Kiya's Kare Korner.

Bad blogger

I am a bad blogger. I admit it. It is hard to find the time with working full time and all. I miss it. I do. I just choose to spend what little free time I have with Kiya.

So what's new? Well, Kiya is settling in to the terrible two's. Wow. That kid has some serious spunk and she will make sure anyone within a few mile radius can hear her Good thing she is so cute :) One minute she is singing and dancing and the next she is throwing a fit kicking and screaming on the floor.

She has decided that strollers are for babies and so are shopping carts. She wants to walk. She doesn't always listen but a few timeouts/ins for not listening has helped her remember to listen to mommy and daddy.

She has also become quite bossy. Her latest and I quote "Mommy, 1, 2, 3, sit down. sit down". Not sure where she picked this up but I am assuming at daycare. They must ask the kids to sit down and count....not sure but am definitely going to ask her teachers today.

We also found out that Kiya will be getting her next cast on Monday January 31st. Six days. Six days of real baths and squishy hugs left. I am full of emotions. I am thrilled that this is really going to happen but also sad that sweet Kiya's cast free days are just about over. I want so badly to hear what her xray numbers are and yet I am terrified about them. I look at her and sometimes she seems really crooked and other times not. I hate scoliosis. Hate it. But I won't let my hate stand in the way of beating it and hopefully that is what we are doing with these casts is kicking scoliosis to the curb.

Life is definitely keeping us busy. I am not loving working full time. I may inquire about reducing my hours and working part time just to gain a little more sanity if that is even possible when you live with a 2 year old.