Thank you social media

I was eating breakfast yesterday morning with the girls and was browsing facebook. I am part of a number of different groups for Ethiopian adoption, Korean adoption, scoliosis, etc. I stopped by one of my Korean adoption groups and a family had posted their adoption video. I am a sucker for those so I went to watch it.

As I read a little more and got the password to watch it, I noticed that this little guy had the same foster mom as Katie. Not that shocking as Katie's foster mom has been one since 1986 and Katie was her 111th foster child.

Now here comes the shocking part...this little guy and Katie shared 11 months together with their foster mom. He is older than Katie by about  7 months or so. I had no idea that Katie had a foster brother...none. He lives in Florida now with his amazing parents who posted their video.

After a few private messages, I learned that they did know there was another child in the home. I also learned that Katie wasn't sleeping on a mattress with foster mom like we were told but was actually sleeping with her foster dad. We have zero pictures of him and don't even know his name. The little guys mom and I don't have any pictures of our kids together. They did share clothes though. She has pictures and I have pictures of them wearing the same yellow turtleneck and Katie was wearing a jacket that they had sent their son.

It was really neat to be able to get more info about Katie's early months, to find a connection out there. The even stranger part is that they have family that live in Wisconsin and will be here at the end of the year for a visit. It isn't that far from us and we may try and reunite their little guy with Katie.

So that is all the warm a fuzzies...here is the part where I am frustrated and a little mad.

I want to know why we didn't know there was another child in the house? Not a big deal really but would have been nice to know. We could have connected with this other family sooner. I have sent an email to my social worker asking her some questions to see if we can get a clearer picture.

I am frustrated that pieces of Katie's story are different than what we thought. I am sad that we have so very little info to give her. We don't even know her mother or father's first name. Now I find out that she may have been closer to foster dad??? We don't know who he is....it does help understand why maybe Katie reached out to Dave first and why there weren't and haven't been a whole lot of tears. She barely cried when her foster mom handed her to us. It was kind of sad. I could tell that her foster mom cared for her and took good care of her and for that I am grateful.

I have these two amazing kids with two very different stories. At least for Kiya I can tell her something about her mom. I hate that I can't do that for Katie. Don't get me wrong I knew that going in and always said well at least I can tell her about her foster mom but what if that isn't the person she wasn't the closest too.

I know that Katie is going to have questions and be confused. Not one person thinks my sweet girl is Korean at all and yet part of her is. This alone will be challenging for her add to that not knowing anything about where she came from...it breaks my heart for her.

I will be the best advocate I can for her. I will do my best to stay in touch with her foster brother's family. I will keep sending pictures to foster mom even though she didn't want direct contact with us. I have given her my email address in hopes that she will reach out to us. Who knows.

Adoption is not easy and raises so many questions. I know as both of my girls grow up they are going to ask questions and as their mom I will do my best and find a way to help them both put the pieces together.