Unanswered Prayers

I heard one of my favorite songs on the radio yesterday on the way to pick Kiya up from daycare, Garth Brooks' "Unanswered Prayers".


Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because He doesn't answer doesn't mean He don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

I have always loved this song and while we waited for Kiya I would hear it and cry because it is so very true. I prayed for days, months, years even that we would be blessed and get pregnant and it never happened. At times I was very bitter about this but remained convinced that we were meant to have children some way some how and I just needed to pray more.

I look at Kiya and I am so grateful that my prayers didn't come true. I am over the idea that I will ever get pregnant, it isn't even on my radar anymore. Not saying if in the unlikely case it did happen I wouldn't be thrilled it just isn't a priority for me. My unanswered prayers really did give me the greatest gift. I couldn't imagine a more wonderful child, tantrums and all.

She is everything I dreamed of and yet so much more. She is my perfect little gift. God knew what He was doing when He lead us to adoption and more so to Kiya. For awhile I was so angry and frustrated and sad that my prayers weren't being answered. Trying to get pregnant was the BIGGEST test to my faith. I admittedly was very mad at God and kind of tuned out for awhile.

I am glad I found my way back. God didn't let me down. He had bigger and better things on the agenda for me and I just wasn't patient enough. Now I see. I see the bigger picture and I thank God every day for my unanswered prayers. Because of those unanswered prayers I get to be a mom to the most amazing kid I know and there is nothing better than that.