One year ago today, Zinash came to the Mussie orphanage in Hossana, Ethiopia and handed Kiya to a nanny. A mere 10 days after her birth. We have that moment captured on video. It is extremely difficult to watch that. To see the tears in her eyes. I feel for her. I in some ways am grateful to have this moment to show Kiya just how much her mother loved her but at the same time I hate that a camera was in Zinash's face.
I walked this same path and went to this building. See the picture below. This is where Kiya spent her first couple of weeks in care. My heart is again heavy today. My thoughts are with Zinash and I wish I could give her a hug. I may be able to send her a letter and she may actually get it but more on that later.
While in Hossana, we were also able to meet Kiya's first nanny. She was so sweet and so excited to tell us all about Yewibdar. She told us she was always so content and sweet and such a good baby. I wish there was some way we could send her an update as well. We were able to show her some more recent pictures while we were there but I wish we could send her some more.
So about the letter, our agency has post adoption services that we can and likely will register for. For a small fee, we can send a letter to Zinash and it will be translated in to Kembatissa, her native language. We have heard that the letters are merely dropped off at a local office for parents and we have heard that they are actually hand delivered. We of course are hoping for the latter.
Also as part of post adoption services, when we travel to Ethiopia again and again for a fee, our agency will try and set up another meeting with Zinash. We could actually be able to hug her again and share recent photos of Kiya. I am trying to keep things in perspective that policies change and our agency won't provide this anymore, that Zinash wouldn't want to see us again or they can't find her. If our agency stops providing this service, we will try and find her on our own and will of course respect if she chooses not to see us but I feel like we owe it to Kiya to try and try hard to see her again.
Now what we would say to Zinash in a letter or in person is a tough but I know when the time comes we will find the words. We have to, for Kiya.
3 comments:
I often think it's harder for the parents who know about the birth mom/have seen pictures/ have met/ have sent letters.
I think since we have no birth mother information (abandoned), it is somehow easier. At least for us. I don't know if it will be easier for Sam. But it sometimes allows us to believe nothing bad/traumatic happened. that he was loved. That he was given up because of illness or disease, rather than because he was inconvenient or unloved. I can live in this fantasy world a bit longer, until Sam is old enough to understand and ask questions.
But I think for now, the fantasty is easier to mentally process than the reality of it all.
I commend you for taking this step, knowing it will be so very difficult.
Your little girl has such wonderful parents!
Thanks for sharing about Zinash. Not a lot of bloggers do share about the birth family and it is very very helpful to read about this relationship. Helps me to keep things in perspective - not just in my head but also in my heart.
Amanda
The 1st question CHSFS PAS ET asked me was ... why are you planning this trip? It's really for Myra's Birth Mom not Myra right?" This caught me off guard but I guess since Myra is little is mostly for her Birth Mom. But her Birth Mom is a part of our family, she is our flesh and blood....literally. So whether it's for Myra or A it does not matter. We CANNOT wait for her to hold Myra and love on her!!! What an amazing gift!
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