The tough stuff

The Australian Broadcasting Company put out this article/video this week.

WARNING--the video is VERY unpleasant to watch. I did watch it and I cried, I got angry and now I need to write.

The basis is that there is a lot of corruption in Ethiopian adoption. The article/video focus on one specific agency but imply that many adoption agencies operating in Ethiopia are in fact unlicensed and unregulated. It goes on the imply that Americans are flocking to adopt "orphans" because it is the new hip thing to do after all Angelina Jolie did it. The article questions whether orphans are really being adopted or if Ethiopians are being wrongly taken advantage of. The idea of a DVD catalog of children available for adoption in a word is HORRIBLE. That alone would have been a HUGE red flag to not go further for me.

Here is what I think take it or leave it. Is there corruption in Ethiopian adoptions, unfortunately yes. I have heard the stories. Were some people misinformed about their child's age, birth date, history, medical conditions--unfortunately yes. Do I think that some birth families were deceived? I would like to say no but I can't 100% say that. Do I think all adoptions from Ethiopia are corrupt? No. I think there are plenty of great agencies big and small doing amazing work in Ethiopia. It is unfortunate that a few bad seeds cast a bad light on all Ethiopian adoptions.

What does this mean for my family? Good question. I have to take ownership that I can't say for 100% sure that my daughter's story is accurate however I feel very confident that it is. I feel her birth date is completely accurate and I don't feel I as an adoptive parent was duped or lied to in any way. I trust my agency and that is why we are sticking with them. Are they people that don't like my agency? Sure and each person has their own reasons but we haven't had a bad experience.

Do I think Kiya's birth mom was lied to? No I don't. She was very aware and present in our meeting and asked us some great questions. Are we bad people for adopting a child that has a mother living in Ethiopia? NO! Some people try to imply that the only children that should be adopted are those with no living parents. Zinash had deep, very personal reasons for placing Kiya for adoption and it saddens me to this day. She loved Kiya and I saw it in her tears and on her face and in her words. She had her reasons just like any birth mom here in the US does and I don't think we as adoptive parents should be labeled nor should she as a birth mom.

International adoption is a murky world. Add in that we are adopting from a developing country and things get even a little murkier (is that word???). Anyway, the point is that as adoptive parents we have to do all we can to make sure our children's adoptions are ethical. I feel that my daughter's was. Not everyone can say that and that saddens me and my heart goes out to them. I wish we could all feel confident in our children's story but such is not the case and that to be honest is a little scary. We as adoptive parents need to do our homework and be diligent and demand answers when things just don't seem to add up.