The other 2 girls are 4 and 4 months. Their Mom and Dad are coming to visit this weekend (YEAH!!). I had some things already purchased for the littlest one but not the 4 year old. I know that she likes to play dress up and that one of her newest fascinations is Fancy Nancy. I found a few Fancy Nancy things for her. She may already have them since she just had a big birthday party but I got a gift receipt just in case.
Okay task accomplished so why was I in Target for an hour an a half. Besides the fact that I love Target, lately when I go their by myself I wander over to the baby section and just start looking at things. One day it was bottles and liners for travelling, or pacifiers or sippy cups. Today it was a little of everything. I looked at formula, bottles, pacifiers, toys, clothes, etc. My main focus though was looking for hair/skin care products for our little one. I found some that smell great and are alcohol free and great for sensitive skin. It was from the Burt's Bees line. I found it in the baby aisle and it smelled really good and was all natural. I know from experience that black babies can tend to have very dry skin and very sensitive skin. The twins did. Both of them had mild forms of ezcema and some very dry patches of skin on their legs. I have learned that we should have avoided using products that have mineral oil, alcohol or petroleum in them. The Burt's Bees didn't have any of those things and it wasn't too expensive for a big bottle of shampoo/baby wash. Yeah!
So I wandered around some more, picked up my next book club book and then headed back to the baby section. I couldn't resist, it drew me in. I felt the need to buy something, so here is what I bought.
Yes it is a teething ring and no it isn't that special really but it is special to me. This is the first time since we started the entire adoption process that I have allowed myself to get attached to the idea that I will really be a Mom and need to buy actual things for a baby. Yes, I know I was "attached" to the twins but at the same time I wasn't. I always was a little guarded and never truly felt like a Mom as I knew that until all the paperwork was signed, sealed and delivered they could be taken away from me and they were. I was trying to protect my heart. It didn't totally work. I couldn't fully resist two of the cutest faces I have ever seen but I had to. I kept my distance emotionally from them to a certain extent. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone but it is the truth. I just had this gut feeling that something wasn't right with that situation and as it turns out something was very wrong.
Finally now as we approach two years in our adoption journey, I have allowed myself to start preparing for our little one emotionally. Yes, I have all of the physical basics and more but all of that stuff was bought in a hurry in a short period of time and some of it I am not in love with but given the situation we were in I had to buy things that were in stock. We will survive after all it is only furniture. But now that I am fully embracing that in the next few months I will be a Mom, I want to do things they way I would have had I had the time. I always dreamed of decorating my nursery so that is why I want to paint the mural on the wall myself.
So this teething ring is the first real thing that I bought specifically for my little one in Ethiopia. Our bundle of joy will also get full use of all previously purchased toys, books etc but this little teething ring is all theirs and no one elses. Again, some people may not understand this rambling post but as soon to be adoptive parent I feel like I have taken a giant step in my personal journey.
1 comment:
Congrats on taking that step...embracing all that is to come. I did the exact same thing in the early days of our journey...and now, I run through target like a chicken with my head cut off, getting ready to travel. It WILL be you in the not too distant future!! Your little one is getting closer everyday!
Enjoy that fabulous teether!!
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