Our first meeting--video

Meeting Kiya for the First Time from David Justl on Vimeo.

An excerpt from Kiya's lifebook DVD. We are so grateful to have this very special moment on video.

Now

And here we are 1 year later. Can you believe it? I know I can't. Here are some recent pictures of the love of my life




So on Friday, May 8, 2009 sometime in the mid morning, we were anxiously waiting at the bottom of the staircase at the care center in Addis Ababa. We were waiting for our social worker to call our name. We were called second. We climbed 4 flights of stairs with a camera in our face. We got to the top, turned left and walked into the room and there she was in the flower hat and all on the floor doing tummy time. Kiya being Kiya spit up first and after that was cleaned up, our social worker handed me my daughter. My world forever changed a million times over in that second.

She just fit. She fit perfectly in my arms. She was total perfection. Life couldn't have gotten any better. We were united forever as a family. May 8th will always be Family Day or Kiya Day. We will say a prayer, light our family candle and spend the day together as a family.

So now my baby girl is a full blown toddler. She has a big, fabulous and spunky personality. She loves to laugh and to make you laugh. She gives hands down the best hugs ever. She will crawl on over and grab the back of your legs and hug you or she will rest her head on your shoulder and pat your back. She sucks her fingers for security, always has, but yet a year later she sure sucks them a lot less. She is an active sleeper and a great sleeper. She is a fabulous eater yet picky like most toddlers. She is sweet and sassy, adventurous and adorable, fun loving and silly. She is the light of my life and I cherish every day with her.

So 1 year later, Kiya has gone from our little peanut to our budding toddler. She has gained 11 plus lbs and has grown almost 9 inches.

This last year has been nothing short of amazing. It has been so incredible to watch Kiya emerge from the shell she was once in. We know her and she knows us. We have bonded. We are attached. We still have work to do. That said life is good. Really good. We are truly blessed.

Then

A journey down memory lane of our first few days with our Peanut.

I can't get over just how tiny she was yet still so full of life. Those little hands that were in a fist much more than they should have been. Those little lips that held such a sweet smile. Those 5 little puffs in her hair. She was wearing 0-3 month clothes and couldn't grasp a toy in her hand. She was about 12lbs and 23.5 inches long and 5 1/2 months old. She didn't fit in the Ergo she was too tiny.

We could tell she was scared and nervous and those fingers were never far from her mouth. She was a very serious child while we were in Ethiopia. We were new, she was just warming up to us. She wasn't a fan of being held for too long and boy if she wasn't fed fast enough she was going to let you know. She loved her baths from day 1 and only graced us with a handful of blowout diapers. Our last blow out diaper was the day we returned home from Ethiopia in the Detroit airport. (Yes I am knocking on wood).

She was a tiny piece of perfection. Just looking at us with those big, intelligent eyes. We were hers and she was ours and we were finally together.

Here

On this day last year we were on our way to the airport. We were going to Ethiopia. We were coming home parents. I am still in shock that it has been a whole year since we made that 23 hour journey half way around the world.

I heard this song on the radio the other day and I cried when I heard the chorus. It is a Rascal Flatts song, called "Here"

"And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here"

My journey to motherhood was not easy. It was a long and winding road, but I am here and happier than ever.

In reality, as hard as the infertility was and as hard as losing the twins was, I know in my heart I had to go through those things to get me where I am today. There was a greater plan involved here. At the times that my heart was breaking I didn't get it. I was angry. I was hurt. I was confused.

Now I get it. I was meant to be Kiya's mom. No one ever said life was easy and I can attest to that. I survived 6 plus years of heartbreak and tears to get to my baby girl.

I can't believe I am about to write this but I would do it all again. All the tears, the years, the pain, the heart break, the stumbled steps just because I know it all leads to me being Kiya's mom and that is the best job in the world.

So in a weird way, I am thankful for the past. I learned a lot and I became a lot stronger. I knew that if I could handle everything life had thrown at me than I was more than ready to be a mom.

I am truly and eternally grateful for everything that has gotten me here. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else..okay except maybe Ethiopia. I am here. I am a Mom and I am blessed. Life is good.

Wordless Wednesday

Post placement report

The time has come for me to do our first of 18 post placement reports. The report is due this week and I can now say that the written part of the report is complete. I still need to do the pictures pages.

We will send this report to our agency and a copy of it will be made available to Kiya's Ethiopian mother. Will she read it? I don't know. I hope so. She asked us if we would be filling out these reports and we promised her we would.

The report asks us about her adjustment, food and sleep habits, development, etc. Then we get to send 4 pictures along with it. How in the world do I send just 4 pictures. I want to send every photo we have of Kiya. I want her mom to see her, to really see all aspects of her. To see her smile, her laugh, her goofiness, her seriousness, her curiosity and so much more.

I wish there was some way I could know for sure that this report gets to Southern Ethiopia and that Zinash gets to read it or at least look at the pictures. My agency assures me that the reports get there and I have heard that if they are in a certain area they will bring the reports with them for birth family.

I look at Kiya and I see Zinash. She looks just like her Mom, more and more every day. She has this quiet confidence about her that reminds me of her mother. I can't wait to share all of that with Kiya as she grows up. I hope we will be able to see Zinash again so we can tell her all about Kiya.

The memories are popping up left and right and all over. Oh how I miss Ethiopia.

Bring on the memories and the tears

This week is EMOTIONAL for me. Last year at this time we were gearing up for a 23 hour plane ride that would forever change my life and in some ways change me as a person.

Our very first Family Day is Saturday. I am in shock that it has been a year. Sunday is Mother's Day...that is a LOADED day for me and deserves its own post later in the week.

My heart belongs in Ethiopia. It always will. I miss Ethiopia every day and this week just brings it even more to the forefront.

I know I will be crying a lot this week. Maybe not for everyone else to see but there is just so much swirling around my head and in my heart. These tears are tears of joy, tears of remembrance and tears of sadness.

This week on blog will be reflections of a year ago and hopes for future years with a few pictures of the every adorable and loving girl that I am proud to call my daughter.