We have officially been home with Miss Kiya for 10 months so in honor of this milestone here are 10 of the many thousands of things that I love about my precious daughter in no particular order.
1) I just love her sweet singing voice. Sometimes she decides to sing whether it be part of the ABC song or just a whole bunch of melodic da da da's. It is truly beautiful.
2) I love how super excited she gets when she hears the garage door opening which signals Daddy is home. She gets to me however she can as fast as she can and immediately wants to go see him.
3) I love her strong, independent side. It keeps me on my toes most days but I know it will serve her well in life.
4) Her kisses. Just too cute and very sweet.
5) How much she LOVES and I mean really really LOVES her books. She can sometimes sit quietly and flip through them herself but usually she will grab the one she wants and scoot on over for you to read it to her. She is very insistent about which books she wants read and don't try to skip any pages, we found that one out. She knew and got mad.
6) The way she was started to sleep on her side and snuggle with her blanket. It is so cute.
7) How she can really concentrate on something whether it be trying to figure out how to unzip her coat or the velcro on her shoes. She can be very focused when she wants to be.
8) The way she plays with the dogs and is so excited (most of the time) when they come and sit by her and she can pet them. She even found one of Sebastian's favorite hiding places in the kitchen and will scoot on over there and give him a hug or a pat on the back. If she is annoyed with them she will push them away but most times she is excited to just be able to touch them, especially Badger since he is just now starting to warm up to her.
9) How when we say peek a boo she covers her ears. I think she is afraid she will miss something if she covers her eyes.
10) Her laugh. Hands down the best sound of the day and this kid LOVES to laugh. She likes it when we make her laugh but better yet she wants to make us laugh. She is super silly and she knows it.
I am honored to be her mother. She is the light of my life and even though she is starting to challenge me I wouldn't change a thing. These last 10 months have been a learning experience for sure but they have been the best 10 months of my life. I look forward to the many months and years ahead with my spunky little one.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Changes
A piece of my heart is in Ethiopia. It always will be. As I mentioned in a previous post, I miss Ethiopia. I want to see more, hear more, learn more, enjoy more. The short week I was there was just not enough. I tried to soak up as much as I could.
Well, we just found out that as of right now the process to bring our son home has changed. It may change again but as of today, the Ethiopian government is requiring adoptive parents to be present at the court hearing. In essence, that means two trips to Ethiopia, one for the court hearing and then one to bring home our son. There aren't a lot of details as to how this will work but we are kind of excited about it.
Why? Well, we would get to meet our Little Man sooner and hug him, love him and just see that he is doing well. Don't get me wrong, it will be so hard to leave that first time without him. I guarantee I will cry and cry a lot. However, with the additional trip we can travel around the country and absorb even more Ethiopia.
Also, because of these two visits, our son would come home on a IR3 visa which would make him a citizen the second he hits US soil. It mean less paperwork and no fee for filing the COC.
I do feel for the families that have recent referrals or are very close to receiving a referral. This news was sprung on the whole adoption community yesterday and for some families that doesn't leave a lot of time to budget for a second trip or find childcare, or get time off of work etc. Since we are years away, we can figure these details out. I pray that all the cards fall in to place for these families caught in the middle and the unknown.
Because of the lengthening timelines, we are also discussing bringing Kiya with us for one of the trips. She could be closer to 5 when this happens and I think it would be great for her to go and see where she was born and to start to experience Ethiopia first hand. We haven't made a final decision and likely won't until it gets closer but the seed has been planted.
I am anticipating that things will likely change again before we even get close to a referral, I am just hoping that this recent change will help Ethiopia stay open to international adoption. There is still a fear that our son will not be from Ethiopia. I try not to think about it too much and am really hoping for the best.
I think about Ethiopia just about every day. Some days more than others. I am itching to go back. We talked about going again before our son but with these new changes we likely will just wait until we travel to see our son and then bring him home. So for now we will just sit back and wait and see what other changes are coming, after all this is international adoption so we at this point expect there will be more changes.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
10 months ago
I was sitting at work today and thinking about 10 months ago. I was in Ethiopia 10 months ago. Wow. I still miss Ethiopia but that is for another day. We were at the care center spending time with our dear sweet little Peanut. We had met her just the day before and we were all just trying to figure each other out.
Now we have been home for almost 10 months and we are still sort of figuring each other out. I say that because as Kiya grows and learns things change. Our way of doing things changes.
She is a vivacious and spunky 15 month old with a definite opinion about what she wants and how she wants it. Take bedtime for example. We have to start setting limits with her. She will stall otherwise. We tell her very clearly that bedtime is in x amount of minutes and that we will read x amount of books. If we don't, wow can that kid stall. She will "drink" more milk. Hand you another book and/or scoot over to a toy and start playing. She loves bed and she sleeps well so not sure where this new found stalling technique is coming from but we are on to her.
Kiya's 15 month check up is next week. I can't believe it. 10 months ago she was barely 12lbs and couldn't move really. Now she is sitting up, scooting, rolling, standing and....just kidding she isn't walking yet but she will. I try not to worry. What gets me the most is the comments from other people that there must be something wrong with her, you should take her to a doctor, my son/daughter was 11 months when they walked or 13 months and that was late, or my favorite has been you must carry/hold her too much that's why she can't walk. Really, I wanted to say you don't hold you kid? I love to hold mine :)
I posted on our amazing new forum seeking reassurance that it isn't that unusual that Kiya isn't walking at 15 months and got a TON of support and reassurance and stories of kids that walked at 17 month or 19 months etc. But the best piece of advice I got came from Abby on how to deal with the comments. And I quote:
"Have you ever seen Kiya do anything by the book? She's a smart, spunky little girl and she figures life out as she needs it"
Seriously that couldn't be a more perfect way to describe my daughter.
We have come along way in 10 months. I look forward to what is coming next. Admittedly I am slightly terrified as my spunky little one has a big ol'personality wrapped up in that little body and it is starting to poke through more and more each day. She is generally a very sweet and loving little girl but she has her moments when that big dramatic personality shines to the fullest as if to say watch out world Kiya is coming and you better get out of the way.
Now we have been home for almost 10 months and we are still sort of figuring each other out. I say that because as Kiya grows and learns things change. Our way of doing things changes.
She is a vivacious and spunky 15 month old with a definite opinion about what she wants and how she wants it. Take bedtime for example. We have to start setting limits with her. She will stall otherwise. We tell her very clearly that bedtime is in x amount of minutes and that we will read x amount of books. If we don't, wow can that kid stall. She will "drink" more milk. Hand you another book and/or scoot over to a toy and start playing. She loves bed and she sleeps well so not sure where this new found stalling technique is coming from but we are on to her.
Kiya's 15 month check up is next week. I can't believe it. 10 months ago she was barely 12lbs and couldn't move really. Now she is sitting up, scooting, rolling, standing and....just kidding she isn't walking yet but she will. I try not to worry. What gets me the most is the comments from other people that there must be something wrong with her, you should take her to a doctor, my son/daughter was 11 months when they walked or 13 months and that was late, or my favorite has been you must carry/hold her too much that's why she can't walk. Really, I wanted to say you don't hold you kid? I love to hold mine :)
I posted on our amazing new forum seeking reassurance that it isn't that unusual that Kiya isn't walking at 15 months and got a TON of support and reassurance and stories of kids that walked at 17 month or 19 months etc. But the best piece of advice I got came from Abby on how to deal with the comments. And I quote:
"Have you ever seen Kiya do anything by the book? She's a smart, spunky little girl and she figures life out as she needs it"
Seriously that couldn't be a more perfect way to describe my daughter.
We have come along way in 10 months. I look forward to what is coming next. Admittedly I am slightly terrified as my spunky little one has a big ol'personality wrapped up in that little body and it is starting to poke through more and more each day. She is generally a very sweet and loving little girl but she has her moments when that big dramatic personality shines to the fullest as if to say watch out world Kiya is coming and you better get out of the way.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Master of redirection
I have realized that my days have become quite repetitive. You see Miss Kiya has a knack like most children her age for getting into EVERYTHING!
She is now 15 months old and has the biggest, most dramatic personality. If we tell her "No" talk about serious water works. So we are working on not saying that word and just redirecting unless she is hitting then we say "No thank you we don't hit." (side note: she isn't hitting as much lately :) ).
She has discovered the dogs food and water dishes. Usually there isn't any food in there as our dogs eat it right away but oh how she loves to play in the water dish. GROSS. I have seen her hands in there, her toys, her shoe, it is great fun. I think yesterday alone I told her "we don't play with the water dish and picked her up and moved her away from it like 100 times". I even tried giving her a Tupperware container with water in it to play with but that was a no go and of course got dumped on the floor.
The laptop is hands down one of her favorites. She likes to bang on the keys, play with the cord, etc. If she sees you even near the laptop she will drop what she is doing and scoot her little heart out to get over there. Super adorable but not good for the laptop.
I am so tired by the end of the day just moving her from one spot to another or trying to keep her occupied. I can't even imagine what it will be like when she actually decides to walk.
On the walking note, I thought for a moment yesterday she might try it all by herself. She loves to walk between our couch and love seat by herself. She even turned around to come back to where I was. She got the end and was going to have to let go. She took one hand off and kind of took a step and then slid to her butt and started to laugh. It was almost like she was saying "ha ha mommy, you thought I was going to walk but nope". Silly girl. One day she will just get up and do it. I am secretly hoping it will be soon but I have come to learn that my daughter is VERY stubborn and likes things done a certain way and will do things when she wants to.
So we spend our days trying to keep Miss Kiya out of trouble and reading books. Man does this kid LOVE books. So much so she has many favorites. It is so cute to watch. There will be a stack of books on the floor and she will sort through them and toss aside the ones she doesn't want and hand you the one she wants you to read. Or she will point at her books and say "dat" or that until you get the right one. The only issue comes when she wants to read the same book over and over. Some days it is "Barnyard Dance" other days it is "The Belly Button Book" and others it is the"Everywhere Babies" book. She knows these books so well. She dances with the barnyard book. She points to her belly button right before we say it and she covers her eyes for pat a cake in the Everywhere Babies book before we get to that part.
Kiya is one smart cookie, let's just hope we can keep up with her.
She is now 15 months old and has the biggest, most dramatic personality. If we tell her "No" talk about serious water works. So we are working on not saying that word and just redirecting unless she is hitting then we say "No thank you we don't hit." (side note: she isn't hitting as much lately :) ).
She has discovered the dogs food and water dishes. Usually there isn't any food in there as our dogs eat it right away but oh how she loves to play in the water dish. GROSS. I have seen her hands in there, her toys, her shoe, it is great fun. I think yesterday alone I told her "we don't play with the water dish and picked her up and moved her away from it like 100 times". I even tried giving her a Tupperware container with water in it to play with but that was a no go and of course got dumped on the floor.
The laptop is hands down one of her favorites. She likes to bang on the keys, play with the cord, etc. If she sees you even near the laptop she will drop what she is doing and scoot her little heart out to get over there. Super adorable but not good for the laptop.
I am so tired by the end of the day just moving her from one spot to another or trying to keep her occupied. I can't even imagine what it will be like when she actually decides to walk.
On the walking note, I thought for a moment yesterday she might try it all by herself. She loves to walk between our couch and love seat by herself. She even turned around to come back to where I was. She got the end and was going to have to let go. She took one hand off and kind of took a step and then slid to her butt and started to laugh. It was almost like she was saying "ha ha mommy, you thought I was going to walk but nope". Silly girl. One day she will just get up and do it. I am secretly hoping it will be soon but I have come to learn that my daughter is VERY stubborn and likes things done a certain way and will do things when she wants to.
So we spend our days trying to keep Miss Kiya out of trouble and reading books. Man does this kid LOVE books. So much so she has many favorites. It is so cute to watch. There will be a stack of books on the floor and she will sort through them and toss aside the ones she doesn't want and hand you the one she wants you to read. Or she will point at her books and say "dat" or that until you get the right one. The only issue comes when she wants to read the same book over and over. Some days it is "Barnyard Dance" other days it is "The Belly Button Book" and others it is the"Everywhere Babies" book. She knows these books so well. She dances with the barnyard book. She points to her belly button right before we say it and she covers her eyes for pat a cake in the Everywhere Babies book before we get to that part.
Kiya is one smart cookie, let's just hope we can keep up with her.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Married with Children
Okay I have tried to write this particular post three times and have started and deleted it each time. I have something to say. I just can't figure out how to say it and to be honest I know some of my readers personally as in they are family and well that just changes things sometimes. Don't get me wrong my family is great but sometimes I just have something to say and I don't want all the questions or looks or uncomfortableness. Maybe I need to start another blog....not sure.
The other part of me says that this is my blog and let the judgement begin if you so choose. I will write what I want and not worry about the rest.
Well here it goes.
My husband and I have been together for almost 14 years. Wow. We met in college thanks to a mutual friend. Except for 2 weeks right after we met when my hubby had to pause and figure things out we have done almost everything together and if we couldn't then we spent lots of time on the phone talking about it since for one summer we lived in two different states. We knew within months of dating that we would get married.
After college we did just that. We spent the next 3-4 years in wedded bliss. Things were truly wonderful and it was smooth sailing. We got a dog, we had jobs we enjoyed, we were living among friends in sunny CA, we were living it up and it was awesome.
Fast forward to the year. The year that things started to change. We now lived in WI and we had 2 dogs, an okay apartment, jobs that we both still have yet we felt something was missing. The answer was children. We had always talked about children and when we got married we decided to wait. We were so young. I am glad we waited. We weren't ready but now in 2003 we were. Let's do it. Let's start trying to have a baby. Yeah well as some of you may know that was easier said than done. It brought about 18 months of frantic am or am I not pregnant followed by another 18 months of doctors, needles, surgery, tests, more tests, more needles and more money being flushed down the toilet. It was AWFUL.
Not only because we weren't having any luck at the whole making a baby thing but it was the first time in our married life that we has hit some serious rough waters. There were more tears in those 3 years than I care to recall. It was a very trying period in our lives together. Peace finally settled in when we decided enough was enough time for Plan B. We were going to adopt. Finally our dreams of parenthood would become a reality.
In 2007 we thought we were going to be parents. It almost happened. We were literally days away from being parents to beautiful twin girls. It didn't happen and to date 2007 was the worst year of our lives. Talk about rough waters. Towards the end of that dreaded year we found some calm waters again. We fell in love with Ethiopia. We just knew our first child would be from this beautiful country.
Well we were right. We are the proud parents of a beautiful Ethiopian princess. Life should be great right? Our dreams came true right? Well yes and no. We are both so in love with our daughter. She is the light of our lives. Marriage is tough by itself but when you add children into the mix it gets even tougher. Who knew? We sure didn't. Maybe we should have but we didn't.
I am fortunate to have a husband who is hands on with raising our daughter. He will change dirty diapers, clean up puke at 2am, read books to her over and over, etc. We get the parent thing most days or at least we think we do but we don't have the supportive partner thing down. We are working on it. It isn't easy but we love each other and we love our daughter and we will figure it out. We are taking baby steps to try and better understand each other and our new married life. Parenthood changes everything. Sometimes those changes can cause some unrest. Yet we both know that parenthood is the best job on the planet. I mean have you seen our daughter?? She is truly the greatest gift and she deserves our very best at all times.
The infertility, the failed domestic adoption, the craziness that is parenthood have left scars. Some are deep, painful scars that are fading yet can still rear their ugly head at times. Other scars bring about tears of joy and remembrance as without those scars, as painful as they may have been, they have led us to our life as a family of 3 and hopefully someday family of 4.
All in all I think we have managed to weather the storm fairly well. We have had good days and bad days and really good days and really bad days. We are striving for balance. We have realized that while we aren't always on the same page, we at least need to be reading the same book. So far the book is pretty good and I am looking forward to the next chapters.
The other part of me says that this is my blog and let the judgement begin if you so choose. I will write what I want and not worry about the rest.
Well here it goes.
My husband and I have been together for almost 14 years. Wow. We met in college thanks to a mutual friend. Except for 2 weeks right after we met when my hubby had to pause and figure things out we have done almost everything together and if we couldn't then we spent lots of time on the phone talking about it since for one summer we lived in two different states. We knew within months of dating that we would get married.
After college we did just that. We spent the next 3-4 years in wedded bliss. Things were truly wonderful and it was smooth sailing. We got a dog, we had jobs we enjoyed, we were living among friends in sunny CA, we were living it up and it was awesome.
Fast forward to the year. The year that things started to change. We now lived in WI and we had 2 dogs, an okay apartment, jobs that we both still have yet we felt something was missing. The answer was children. We had always talked about children and when we got married we decided to wait. We were so young. I am glad we waited. We weren't ready but now in 2003 we were. Let's do it. Let's start trying to have a baby. Yeah well as some of you may know that was easier said than done. It brought about 18 months of frantic am or am I not pregnant followed by another 18 months of doctors, needles, surgery, tests, more tests, more needles and more money being flushed down the toilet. It was AWFUL.
Not only because we weren't having any luck at the whole making a baby thing but it was the first time in our married life that we has hit some serious rough waters. There were more tears in those 3 years than I care to recall. It was a very trying period in our lives together. Peace finally settled in when we decided enough was enough time for Plan B. We were going to adopt. Finally our dreams of parenthood would become a reality.
In 2007 we thought we were going to be parents. It almost happened. We were literally days away from being parents to beautiful twin girls. It didn't happen and to date 2007 was the worst year of our lives. Talk about rough waters. Towards the end of that dreaded year we found some calm waters again. We fell in love with Ethiopia. We just knew our first child would be from this beautiful country.
Well we were right. We are the proud parents of a beautiful Ethiopian princess. Life should be great right? Our dreams came true right? Well yes and no. We are both so in love with our daughter. She is the light of our lives. Marriage is tough by itself but when you add children into the mix it gets even tougher. Who knew? We sure didn't. Maybe we should have but we didn't.
I am fortunate to have a husband who is hands on with raising our daughter. He will change dirty diapers, clean up puke at 2am, read books to her over and over, etc. We get the parent thing most days or at least we think we do but we don't have the supportive partner thing down. We are working on it. It isn't easy but we love each other and we love our daughter and we will figure it out. We are taking baby steps to try and better understand each other and our new married life. Parenthood changes everything. Sometimes those changes can cause some unrest. Yet we both know that parenthood is the best job on the planet. I mean have you seen our daughter?? She is truly the greatest gift and she deserves our very best at all times.
The infertility, the failed domestic adoption, the craziness that is parenthood have left scars. Some are deep, painful scars that are fading yet can still rear their ugly head at times. Other scars bring about tears of joy and remembrance as without those scars, as painful as they may have been, they have led us to our life as a family of 3 and hopefully someday family of 4.
All in all I think we have managed to weather the storm fairly well. We have had good days and bad days and really good days and really bad days. We are striving for balance. We have realized that while we aren't always on the same page, we at least need to be reading the same book. So far the book is pretty good and I am looking forward to the next chapters.
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