So I know bad blogger again but really life isn't all that interesting right now.
I am not a patient person. I am better than I used to be but still not patient. We are waiting on Kiya's cast date. I know it has only been a little over a week since we were there but still. I want a date. I want to stop the what if's running through my head and just get started already.
I did check in with the nurse yesterday. Since Kiya's Dr. is leaving and he does most of the casting, everyone is trying to get in to see him before he leaves. Well, with the help of a friend talking me through it, I called the nurse to ask if we could just have Kiya's cast done by the doctor she will be seeing in the future. She agreed that it made sense. Right now we are waiting on Dr. S's schedule and that is pretty full. We are hoping to get in to see Dr. H maybe faster. Dr. H would be the one to do Kiya's follow up check up after 1 month in cast and then her future castings. We haven't met this Dr. but have heard amazing things about him so here's hoping.
On the adoption front, we got word that we will likely wait at least 24 months for a referral. Sigh...we knew that was coming but to see it officially written was a little tougher to take. The only thing that could slightly speed it up is whether or not we are more open to certain conditions than others and the fact that we would like to have a son. Either way we will wait it out. It gives us plenty of time to get Kiya out of diapers and if we are lucky out of casts too. It will all work out. I really don't even think about the wait for our son that much but when I got that email it all came rushing to the forefront. So when people ask me when we will have a son my stock answer right now is sometime in the year 2012 hopefully.
We are also waiting for the call that says Kiya's ankle braces are ready. I am hoping that one comes in early next week.
So kind of a boring post. To end on a happier note, Miss Kiya is a superstar. She loves all things related to her doll. She straps her in the high chair and pretends to feed her. She loves her new art easel and crayons. And since thanks to a dear friend it looks like a Dora toy store in my living room, she is loving all of that stuff too. She is saying more and more words every day and word combinations. She is unfortunately and fortunately waking up in the middle of the night if her diaper is wet. Good sign for future potty training bad sign for sleeping. She is developing this impy side to her where she is deliberately doing something she knows she shouldn't and then laughing. It is hard not to laugh with her as she is just too cute. So I have no doubt that this wait for our son will fly by as Kiya will definitely keep us on on toes and running around.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Weekend fun
We had a great weekend with some great friends and their kids. I am tired but it was fun. It has been way too long since I stayed up late just chatting with friends.
Kiya has a new BFF. Her name is Molly and she is 6. Kiya just LOVED her. Her whole face would light up when Molly entered the room. She let Molly walk her around, pick her up and read her a story. To be honest it was great having a 6 year old around to keep Kiya entertained. I could actually have an adult conversation and trust that Kiya was going to get into anything.
We spent the weekend on Lake Wisconsin. I wish the weather would have been better but it was still nice. Dave took everyone out on the boat which was nice. Kiya and I stayed back. She had a very angry reaction to putting on a life jacket so we snuggled on the couch, had a snack and watched Dora on the laptop. I blame being almost 2 and those awful swim lessons that tortured kids with floating in the pool in a life jacket but whatever. I did like the snuggles though.
We also went to the Taste of Madison event. It is on the square and has restaurants of all types of cuisine. It is so fun. We try and go every year. It was at this event a few years ago that I first had Ethiopian food. It was love at first taste....except for the injera....still working on that one. This year I had Ethiopian food, Indian food, Chinese food and some of Kiya's fried fish. Kiya are 2 different types of fried fish (halibut and cod) and more pretzels than I think are allowed by law but the pretzels kept her from screaming so we went with it.
Highlight of the weekend was hanging out with our friends and their kids. Low light...Kiya didn't nap for 3 days in a row. She unfortunately did pretty okay with no nap. I am really hoping this isn't a permanent thing and more of I don't want to be away from the action aka Molly thing. Fingers crossed she naps today. This mama is so not ready for Kiya to give up her nap. I really don't think she is either but she has been sleeping 13 or more hours a night...sigh...
If she gives up her nap when do I get to nap and/or watch trashy reality TV???
Kiya has a new BFF. Her name is Molly and she is 6. Kiya just LOVED her. Her whole face would light up when Molly entered the room. She let Molly walk her around, pick her up and read her a story. To be honest it was great having a 6 year old around to keep Kiya entertained. I could actually have an adult conversation and trust that Kiya was going to get into anything.
We spent the weekend on Lake Wisconsin. I wish the weather would have been better but it was still nice. Dave took everyone out on the boat which was nice. Kiya and I stayed back. She had a very angry reaction to putting on a life jacket so we snuggled on the couch, had a snack and watched Dora on the laptop. I blame being almost 2 and those awful swim lessons that tortured kids with floating in the pool in a life jacket but whatever. I did like the snuggles though.
We also went to the Taste of Madison event. It is on the square and has restaurants of all types of cuisine. It is so fun. We try and go every year. It was at this event a few years ago that I first had Ethiopian food. It was love at first taste....except for the injera....still working on that one. This year I had Ethiopian food, Indian food, Chinese food and some of Kiya's fried fish. Kiya are 2 different types of fried fish (halibut and cod) and more pretzels than I think are allowed by law but the pretzels kept her from screaming so we went with it.
Highlight of the weekend was hanging out with our friends and their kids. Low light...Kiya didn't nap for 3 days in a row. She unfortunately did pretty okay with no nap. I am really hoping this isn't a permanent thing and more of I don't want to be away from the action aka Molly thing. Fingers crossed she naps today. This mama is so not ready for Kiya to give up her nap. I really don't think she is either but she has been sleeping 13 or more hours a night...sigh...
If she gives up her nap when do I get to nap and/or watch trashy reality TV???
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Sigh of relief
First, I LOVE Shriner's Hospital! Everyone was so nice and so great with Kiya. And of course they all just loved how cute and spunky she was. Kiya has been known to not like male doctors but she did great today. She walked with the resident, sang for the nurse and the social worker and even said hi and bye to her doctor who is an older man. She had one little melt down but recovered. The only downfall is that there was a lot of waiting hence bored toddler and at one point she started to fall asleep. Too cute!
That said, we are breathing a big sigh of relief. The doctor looked at her x-ray and MRI films and agreed that there were no abnormalities. He also felt like her curve was around 40 degrees which in essence matches what the doctor here told us. We got asked a TON of questions about her development and if she had any other medical issues. We gladly responded that she is a healthy kid and after recent evaluation from Birth to 3 that she is meeting or exceeding all developmental milestones with the exception of walking. I think we must have said this like a million times. We told the nurse, the resident twice, the doctor, the social worker, etc.
The doctor was confident that if she had no other neurological issues that the Mehta casting would do wonders to fix her curve. He asked us if Kiya had been to a neurologist and we said no that there was no reason to as of yet. So he asked us again about her development and we repeated that she is right on track with no other concerns and he said great this casting should do wonders for her.
We really liked Dr. S. He will be leaving Shriner's Hospital sadly, but we know we will be in good hands after he leaves. His nurse, Linda, is beyond amazing and I am so grateful she is part of Kiya's treatment team.
So I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief tonight. Why? Well my fears were going into this appointment were that the doctor would see something that was missed or that he would tell us that Kiya would need surgery. Surgery isn't permanently out of the picture but it is nowhere near the table right now which is reassuring.
We are ready to get started. We are hoping for a date in September still but the calendar is getting full. We are crossing our fingers and saying our prayers that September it is. We are ready to start our journey to being straight. No more curvy back for Kiya. That is the goal. We know the road may be bumpy especially at first but we have to start somewhere.
**Additional numbers in Kiya's Kare Korner.
That said, we are breathing a big sigh of relief. The doctor looked at her x-ray and MRI films and agreed that there were no abnormalities. He also felt like her curve was around 40 degrees which in essence matches what the doctor here told us. We got asked a TON of questions about her development and if she had any other medical issues. We gladly responded that she is a healthy kid and after recent evaluation from Birth to 3 that she is meeting or exceeding all developmental milestones with the exception of walking. I think we must have said this like a million times. We told the nurse, the resident twice, the doctor, the social worker, etc.
The doctor was confident that if she had no other neurological issues that the Mehta casting would do wonders to fix her curve. He asked us if Kiya had been to a neurologist and we said no that there was no reason to as of yet. So he asked us again about her development and we repeated that she is right on track with no other concerns and he said great this casting should do wonders for her.
We really liked Dr. S. He will be leaving Shriner's Hospital sadly, but we know we will be in good hands after he leaves. His nurse, Linda, is beyond amazing and I am so grateful she is part of Kiya's treatment team.
So I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief tonight. Why? Well my fears were going into this appointment were that the doctor would see something that was missed or that he would tell us that Kiya would need surgery. Surgery isn't permanently out of the picture but it is nowhere near the table right now which is reassuring.
We are ready to get started. We are hoping for a date in September still but the calendar is getting full. We are crossing our fingers and saying our prayers that September it is. We are ready to start our journey to being straight. No more curvy back for Kiya. That is the goal. We know the road may be bumpy especially at first but we have to start somewhere.
**Additional numbers in Kiya's Kare Korner.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tomorrow 10am
We will be at our very first appointment at Shriner's Hospital in Chicago. I am a nervous wreck. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I am confident all will go well but apprehensive about what the numbers will tell us, what the doctor will say.
That said I have a network of people who want live from Chicago updates. These women though I have never met them are beyond amazing. I talked with one of them twice last week on the phone and it was so nice to talk to someone who has been there done that and is so down to earth. I messaged the others on Facebook and they all came back with reassuring words and virtual hugs. It is because of these women that I have faith in the process.
We are jumping into the world of unknowns and that is a little scary. I am not one for unknowns but such is the reality in this case. I am crossing my fingers and saying lots of prayers that maybe just maybe we can get Kiya in her first cast before the end of September. I don't even know if that will be possible but the sooner the better.
While this process will be trying at first and adjustments will need to be made. I know we can get through it and hopefully some day (sooner rather than later) look back and remember the strength we had and the special week out of cast play times, etc.
It starts with our visit tomorrow. I am planning on being totally overwhelmed so I am grateful that my husband is along for the ride. He is not the worrying type. I am. So having a second set of eyes and ears will be helpful for sure.
And rest assured my Chicago Sisters, cell phone will be charged and text messages will be sent. You are truly amazing women and moms and I am so grateful that our lives have crossed paths.
That said I have a network of people who want live from Chicago updates. These women though I have never met them are beyond amazing. I talked with one of them twice last week on the phone and it was so nice to talk to someone who has been there done that and is so down to earth. I messaged the others on Facebook and they all came back with reassuring words and virtual hugs. It is because of these women that I have faith in the process.
We are jumping into the world of unknowns and that is a little scary. I am not one for unknowns but such is the reality in this case. I am crossing my fingers and saying lots of prayers that maybe just maybe we can get Kiya in her first cast before the end of September. I don't even know if that will be possible but the sooner the better.
While this process will be trying at first and adjustments will need to be made. I know we can get through it and hopefully some day (sooner rather than later) look back and remember the strength we had and the special week out of cast play times, etc.
It starts with our visit tomorrow. I am planning on being totally overwhelmed so I am grateful that my husband is along for the ride. He is not the worrying type. I am. So having a second set of eyes and ears will be helpful for sure.
And rest assured my Chicago Sisters, cell phone will be charged and text messages will be sent. You are truly amazing women and moms and I am so grateful that our lives have crossed paths.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Feeling hopeful
I know that I have been a terrible blogger lately. Honestly, I haven't been in the best of moods. Life has been taking its toll on me physically and emotionally. I have been in a bad mood. Life stinks sometimes. It plain isn't fair. But I saw a light yesterday afternoon, a much needed one that helped me shift my perspective a little.
Kiya had her first appointment with her Birth to 3 therapist yesterday afternoon. I was really not looking forward to it. Kiya had been off and on whiny all day and really we have been there done that before with not much success. Boy was I wrong.
I LOVE our therapist. She let Kiya come to her and took it slow. She wasn't over bearing and while the hour we were together consisted of zero physical therapy activities it was the best hour. She played cars with Kiya and they laughed together. We all sang Ring Around the Rosie and If your Happy and you know it. It was amazing.
So why so great if we did zero therapy??? Well, because I am actually feeling hopeful. This hasn't happened in awhile. Our therapist was encouraged by all the things Kiya was doing. She felt Kiya was doing all the things that she should be physically and that her biggest problem was her ankles. She rolls in on her ankles while standing up. More so on the right than the left but it is obvious. This has been on the radar before but we had no clear solutions. That changed yesterday.
She emailed me last night the name of the braces she recommends, the name of the company here in town that makes them and a form for our doctor to sign so we can get these custom made braces. I dropped the form off at Kiya's pediatrician's office for her signature and then called the company that makes the braces to see what we needed to send them to get an appointment. The woman asked for all of our info, said bring the signed form in and then promptly scheduled us for an appointment for next week. I was floored. I am so excited to get these braces and see the progress.
Our therapist also suggested getting Kiya an easel or whiteboard that would force her to stand up more vertically with her hands up versus standing at a table with hand down. She also thought it would be a good idea for Kiya to have a big wheel type tricycle, something with pedals. This will help her get used to alternating the use of each leg. She currently if we don't force her will climb up the stairs pushing up only on her right leg. She can push up just fine with her left leg she just doesn't.
I feel like for the first time in a long time we have a plan. A real legitimate plan to help Kiya catch up and eventually soar. We have this amazing therapist. We have Shriner's hospital and we have some new friends that have helped make this journey a little more tolerable.
I am ready to jump in and get started. I hate that all of this is happening but it is. Kiya is going to have a lot of changing thrown at her in the next few weeks and she is going to need me to be strong for her as she adjusts. I worry she will be mad at first. I take that back. I know she is going to be mad for awhile. I am not worried about the ankle braces as much as they are flexible and have velcro and she loves having her shoes and socks on. It is the cast that worries me. I know she will bounce back but she is going to be mad. She will have to learn to do some things differently but I know she will do it. The first cast will be the hardest on all of us but together we will get through it.
I think I may be ready to make lemonade with all the lemons life has thrown our way lately. I know this is going to be a bumpy ride for all of us and there will be good days and bad but I am hopeful. We finally have a path to follow that will hopefully lead to nothing but great things for Kiya. I dream about seeing her run around outside. I look forward to the appointment that tells us this is her last cast and she will be fitted for a brace. I look forward to Kiya truly achieving her potential and being a kid in all ways. She is such an amazing little girl and I hate that a curvy spine and some funky ankles are holding her back. I am grateful for Kiya's energy, intellect, sweetness, creativity and that sweet little voice of hers.
Watch out world Kiya's is coming better than ever and she is a force to be reckoned with :)
Kiya had her first appointment with her Birth to 3 therapist yesterday afternoon. I was really not looking forward to it. Kiya had been off and on whiny all day and really we have been there done that before with not much success. Boy was I wrong.
I LOVE our therapist. She let Kiya come to her and took it slow. She wasn't over bearing and while the hour we were together consisted of zero physical therapy activities it was the best hour. She played cars with Kiya and they laughed together. We all sang Ring Around the Rosie and If your Happy and you know it. It was amazing.
So why so great if we did zero therapy??? Well, because I am actually feeling hopeful. This hasn't happened in awhile. Our therapist was encouraged by all the things Kiya was doing. She felt Kiya was doing all the things that she should be physically and that her biggest problem was her ankles. She rolls in on her ankles while standing up. More so on the right than the left but it is obvious. This has been on the radar before but we had no clear solutions. That changed yesterday.
She emailed me last night the name of the braces she recommends, the name of the company here in town that makes them and a form for our doctor to sign so we can get these custom made braces. I dropped the form off at Kiya's pediatrician's office for her signature and then called the company that makes the braces to see what we needed to send them to get an appointment. The woman asked for all of our info, said bring the signed form in and then promptly scheduled us for an appointment for next week. I was floored. I am so excited to get these braces and see the progress.
Our therapist also suggested getting Kiya an easel or whiteboard that would force her to stand up more vertically with her hands up versus standing at a table with hand down. She also thought it would be a good idea for Kiya to have a big wheel type tricycle, something with pedals. This will help her get used to alternating the use of each leg. She currently if we don't force her will climb up the stairs pushing up only on her right leg. She can push up just fine with her left leg she just doesn't.
I feel like for the first time in a long time we have a plan. A real legitimate plan to help Kiya catch up and eventually soar. We have this amazing therapist. We have Shriner's hospital and we have some new friends that have helped make this journey a little more tolerable.
I am ready to jump in and get started. I hate that all of this is happening but it is. Kiya is going to have a lot of changing thrown at her in the next few weeks and she is going to need me to be strong for her as she adjusts. I worry she will be mad at first. I take that back. I know she is going to be mad for awhile. I am not worried about the ankle braces as much as they are flexible and have velcro and she loves having her shoes and socks on. It is the cast that worries me. I know she will bounce back but she is going to be mad. She will have to learn to do some things differently but I know she will do it. The first cast will be the hardest on all of us but together we will get through it.
I think I may be ready to make lemonade with all the lemons life has thrown our way lately. I know this is going to be a bumpy ride for all of us and there will be good days and bad but I am hopeful. We finally have a path to follow that will hopefully lead to nothing but great things for Kiya. I dream about seeing her run around outside. I look forward to the appointment that tells us this is her last cast and she will be fitted for a brace. I look forward to Kiya truly achieving her potential and being a kid in all ways. She is such an amazing little girl and I hate that a curvy spine and some funky ankles are holding her back. I am grateful for Kiya's energy, intellect, sweetness, creativity and that sweet little voice of hers.
Watch out world Kiya's is coming better than ever and she is a force to be reckoned with :)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Meant to be?
There has been a discussion well lots of them really that are pretty heavy and sometimes hard to read and sometimes even really judgemental. What about, well adoption of course and more specifically, adopting from Ethiopia.
So, was I meant to be Kiya's mother? I think that is a tough question but I strongly feel that yes I was meant to be Kiya's mother if her Ethiopian mother couldn't take care of her. A child is naturally meant to be with their biological parents however the world isn't always wrapped up in a nice little box. Sometimes, reality steps in and gets in the way as is the case with our adoption of Kiya. For circumstances beyond poverty, Kiya's Mama Zinash chose to place her for adoption. As such we were matched with her. So yes we were meant to be Kiya's and she was meant to be ours.
Digging a little further, someone asked me if we had known about Kiya's scoliosis at the time of referral would we still have adopted her? I can't even think about that. Because the reality is we didn't know about it and because we didn't know about it she was matched with us. If it was known, Kiya would not be a member of this family. She would be someone elses and that is just something I frankly cannot stomach.
Kiya fits here curvy back and all. I do think there was a greater force that connected us together. Sadly, yes Kiya had to leave a mother, a country, a home, a culture behind and that is something we will never forget. That said, adoption turned our world upside down in the most beautiful way and I am grateful for that.
Sure there have been some unexpected things thrown our way but Kiya is Kiya. She is sweet and sassy, loud and funny, opinionated and stubborn and yes she has a curve in her spine. It is who she is. That said we are not heros, or saviors or rescuers. We are merely a couple that wanted to have a family. So we sought out adoption. We are not bad people for doing so. Our adoption was the right thing for our family. It would make more sense if I just spilled Kiya's story but I can't and I won't. Just trust me. Adoption was the right thing for her and even more so now.
Her scoliosis may have gone forever undiagnosed and even if it was diagnosed it for sure wouldn't have been treated. Not treating progressive infantile scoliosis can be fatal. Her rib cage is shifting and thus in time could put pressure on her internal organs protected by that rib cage. That is a scary thought.
I have always thought positively about my adoption and now with a medical condition I am grateful that she is here with us and we are seeking the best treatment for her. That said, I don't deny there are issues in Ethiopia. There are some BIG issues in adoption in Ethiopia. These scare me. I worry we will not be adding a son to our family from Ethiopia because of all of these BIG issues and BAD agencies doing truly unethical things. I can't ignore the issues, but I can't ignore the place I fell in love with . The place where my daughter was born. I dream of my children sharing a cultural connection, is that wrong? To some yes, yes it is. But for my family it isn't wrong.
So, was I meant to be Kiya's mother? I think that is a tough question but I strongly feel that yes I was meant to be Kiya's mother if her Ethiopian mother couldn't take care of her. A child is naturally meant to be with their biological parents however the world isn't always wrapped up in a nice little box. Sometimes, reality steps in and gets in the way as is the case with our adoption of Kiya. For circumstances beyond poverty, Kiya's Mama Zinash chose to place her for adoption. As such we were matched with her. So yes we were meant to be Kiya's and she was meant to be ours.
Digging a little further, someone asked me if we had known about Kiya's scoliosis at the time of referral would we still have adopted her? I can't even think about that. Because the reality is we didn't know about it and because we didn't know about it she was matched with us. If it was known, Kiya would not be a member of this family. She would be someone elses and that is just something I frankly cannot stomach.
Kiya fits here curvy back and all. I do think there was a greater force that connected us together. Sadly, yes Kiya had to leave a mother, a country, a home, a culture behind and that is something we will never forget. That said, adoption turned our world upside down in the most beautiful way and I am grateful for that.
Sure there have been some unexpected things thrown our way but Kiya is Kiya. She is sweet and sassy, loud and funny, opinionated and stubborn and yes she has a curve in her spine. It is who she is. That said we are not heros, or saviors or rescuers. We are merely a couple that wanted to have a family. So we sought out adoption. We are not bad people for doing so. Our adoption was the right thing for our family. It would make more sense if I just spilled Kiya's story but I can't and I won't. Just trust me. Adoption was the right thing for her and even more so now.
Her scoliosis may have gone forever undiagnosed and even if it was diagnosed it for sure wouldn't have been treated. Not treating progressive infantile scoliosis can be fatal. Her rib cage is shifting and thus in time could put pressure on her internal organs protected by that rib cage. That is a scary thought.
I have always thought positively about my adoption and now with a medical condition I am grateful that she is here with us and we are seeking the best treatment for her. That said, I don't deny there are issues in Ethiopia. There are some BIG issues in adoption in Ethiopia. These scare me. I worry we will not be adding a son to our family from Ethiopia because of all of these BIG issues and BAD agencies doing truly unethical things. I can't ignore the issues, but I can't ignore the place I fell in love with . The place where my daughter was born. I dream of my children sharing a cultural connection, is that wrong? To some yes, yes it is. But for my family it isn't wrong.
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